May 02, 2007 12:48
...sucks.
Granted, it's a whole heckuva lot easier than full-on revisions. It took me months to figure out how to make the end of Gryphon's Overture workable and still satisfying. Agony! Line edits, on the other hand, are progressing at light speed by comparison. Whew!
The bad news, however, is what it's doing to my inner demons. I've heard it happen to countless authors, published and unpublished both, so I know it's an occupational hazzard. I haven't dealt with it for aaaaages, and I've been peachy keen without its bother so far. Sadly, line edits have fed the demons until they escaped the stone cage I'd locked them in. Now they're prancing free and happy everywhere I don't want them.
I'm halfway through the book. Suddenly, I can't stop noticing how crappy the writing is. How it's never going to be good enough. How the girls I love so much are going to get shoved under the bed and never again see the light of day. How much of a jerk Jackson is, and how he totally lacks proper motivation. How the anonymous men are way too confusing and nobody will understand any of it so they'll pass and pass and pass and I'll never write anything good because it's just not in me and I'll never be published and my dream with languish away forever and ever and ever...
See?
Worst of all, I've finally reached the point of saturation. I begin to despise everything about Gryphon's Overture. I HATE it. If I ever see it again, it'll be too soon. I want it out of my sight. NOW. I don't want to have to go over the second half. I don't want to read any more, to subject myself to such torture. It sucks, it sucks, it sucks! Plus, it's going to be over the guidelines. Not a lot...but over. Unless I wrote the end very, very badly, which I must've, because the whole book is BORING BORING BORING.
On the other hand, it's much stronger than it was before I started line editing. I've deleted so many of 'had,' 'even,' 'just,' 'turned,' 'was' and I don't know what else that I've cut 2000 words already. Chances are good I can knock another 2k off without trying. That still leaves the book at 152,000 words. I suppose I could cut out the anon bits about Dorian...he's enough of a bastard without them, I guess. Except he's then unmotivated... Or I could just leave it at 152k and call it good.
Stupid, stupid, stupid.
But, only half to go!