My compass is spinning.
Life takes us in fun directions. This time it's taking me back.
After looking at our funds, we've realized (after me crying a lot) that the smartest thing to do with our money and for my education is for me to go back to my parents after the lease runs out in December. Alex leaves November, so the timing is almost perfect. It gives me a month to get things straightened out and let my wounds heal with him leaving before I settle back at mom and dad's. The pluses are good ones: saving money, back to school, and I can take Cassie with me.
The cons of course are the ones you expect: I don't want to go back. I like my independence. I feel like a child again.
It is the smartest choice...I know that. But when Alex had to break the news to me that I couldn't stay here after he left, it was a lot to take on at once. I didn't want to leave, I didn't want him to leave...it was all going to hell via autobahn. As fast as it could. Once I calmed down and got my head right, I knew he was right. I was just in denial about it. I miss him already.
The good news is, he'll be visiting home again a couple times before he leaves for Iraq. He comes home once for x-mas, again in May, then I think once more in July or August before he's gone. Still, it's going to be tough. It will be nice to finish up at school...though I still don't want to go back. I'm tired of it. Plus I dunno what I want anymore. What the hell am I going to do with my degree? I guess I'm just discouraged right now. :P I feel mopey.
Shen and I are supposed to hang out soon. I'm waiting on her to get out of work. It's calm and still in the house. Alex is at work and Cassie is sleeping on the couch. I sit snuggled in my robe typing away. I'm looking forward to NaNoWriMo.
Hm.
After looking at our funds, we've realized (after me crying a lot) that the smartest thing to do with our money and for my education is for me to go back to my parents after the lease runs out in December. Alex leaves November, so the timing is almost perfect. It gives me a month to get things straightened out and let my wounds heal with him leaving before I settle back at mom and dad's. The pluses are good ones: saving money, back to school, and I can take Cassie with me.
The cons of course are the ones you expect: I don't want to go back. I like my independence. I feel like a child again.
It is the smartest choice...I know that. But when Alex had to break the news to me that I couldn't stay here after he left, it was a lot to take on at once. I didn't want to leave, I didn't want him to leave...it was all going to hell via autobahn. As fast as it could. Once I calmed down and got my head right, I knew he was right. I was just in denial about it. I miss him already.
The good news is, he'll be visiting home again a couple times before he leaves for Iraq. He comes home once for x-mas, again in May, then I think once more in July or August before he's gone. Still, it's going to be tough. It will be nice to finish up at school...though I still don't want to go back. I'm tired of it. Plus I dunno what I want anymore. What the hell am I going to do with my degree? I guess I'm just discouraged right now. :P I feel mopey.
Shen and I are supposed to hang out soon. I'm waiting on her to get out of work. It's calm and still in the house. Alex is at work and Cassie is sleeping on the couch. I sit snuggled in my robe typing away. I'm looking forward to NaNoWriMo.
Hm.