[One Shot] This Thing Called Love
I am crazy recently. I swear I am.
Plotless fic ahead... hahaha. Really... seriously... totally plotless fic ahead. hahaha
This Thing Called Love
The heart wants what it wants.
There’s no logic to these things.
You meet someone and you fall in love.
That’s that.
-Woody Allen
Cho Kyuhyun secretly cursed the people who invented the study of law as he sat in the university library, in the middle of the afternoon, bent over his own notes on the study of Legal Medicine.
“… if you measure the circumference of the head, multiply it by eleven then you’ll get a rough estimate of the height of the person…” he reads and wondered how this information could be useful unless he walks home one evening, finds a dead head (duh!) in his room, measures it and runs around looking for someone who knew someone whose height is what he measured. “The hell…” he murmured, dismissing his own thoughts.
He closed his rough notes, briefly wanted to throw it away and go home to the comfort of his own video games (which are already sulking because he haven’t touched it for months now). He stood up, remembers the major Legal Medicine quiz waiting for him the next day and sat again, cursing himself for even wanting to be a lawyer.
“…paraffin tests are not admissible as evidence in court. Fire a gun, pee on your hands after and you’re safe,” his notes said and Kyuhyun smirked at the peeing part. Then his notes abruptly ended there and Kyuhyun ended up cursing such peeing part. He was probably too lazy to take notes after that. So he wandered over to the shelves containing law books and browsed around for any book on Legal Medicine.
After ten freaking minutes of searching, he found the one and only copy (how could that have happened?!) of the most reliable Legal Medicine book in the library. He reached out, found it too high for him to reach in spite of his height, so he jumped a little to reach it and collided with someone who was also jumping to reach the damn book.
Kyuhyun gave an annoyed sound of pain, the other man kept his silence as the Legal Medicine book fell on his head and landed on the floor.
“haha!” Kyuhyun thought and bent down to pick up the book, however, his hand closed over the hand of the other person as the man bent down at the same time that Kyuhyun did to pick up the fallen book.
“I saw this first,” Kyuhyun said through gritted teeth.
“I touched it first,” the other man said, his words were stressed but his face remained annoyingly blank and expressionless.
“First to see, first to get!” Kyuhyun glared at him, his hands tightening on the book (and of course the other man’s hands). “It’s the natural course of things,” he deadpans.
The man shook his head and stubbornly kept his grip on the book. “Toucher, owner,” he said stupidly and Kyuhyun vaguely wondered if there is such a word as toucher. “There’s none. So this guy is a moron.” Kyuhyun’s brain deduced (well… his brain thinks that anyone who is not him is a moron haha!).
“This is a Legal Medicine book, shelved in the Law side of the library so it should belong to law students. Are you a law student? No? Then back off. I’m a law student, I get first priority!”
“All is fair in law.”
Kyuhyun suppressed his cry of annoyance. He has a fucking Legal Medicine quiz the next day and the last thing he wanted to do is fight over this precious, one copy Legal Medicine book with some student from - he takes a look at the student’s ID - from the College of Medicine of all freaking colleges!
“Look…” Kyuhyun said as he squint his eyes, trying to read the man’s name. “Lee Sungmin-sshi… I am a law student, I have a major quiz tomorrow and I need this book to pass. If I don’t pass that freaking subject, I’ll be delayed to graduate by one year, I won’t be able to take the BAR exams this year and the BAR exams the next year will be tougher than my ass so you might not want to ruin my future,” he said his litany and hopefully it would be enough to convince this moron that Kyuhyun’s reasons are far more important than his. The other man seemed a little stunned at the mention of his name but then he recovered and the blank expression returned to his face.
Lee Sungmin seemed to think for a minute and looked up the ceiling but then shook his head.
“Can’t do. My professor in Human Anatomy has a wife who’s a lawyer and he loves the law so he lectures about these legal procedures implied in medicine and he’ll be giving a quiz tomorrow about that shit too. So I need this book.”
“Argh!” Kyuhyun snarled at him, straightened his back and kicked the man on the knees. The sudden impact must have been really painful so Lee Sungmin’s grip on the book loosened, his hands automatically nursing his knees and Kyuhyun snatched the book away from him the first instance he got.
“Wahaha!” He sneered triumphantly at Sungmin, but then stopped when he heard the words that dangerously sounded like asshole. “What did you just say?” he challenged.
Lee Sungmin shook his head and threw him a dirty look.
“What happened to lawyers and their freaking rules of court?” he asked.
Kyuhyun made a face at him as if he’s an idiot and secured the book in his arms. “Damn, you must have lived a thousand years before me. Rules of Court are for those who abide by the rules and have their asses kicked. What we follow now is Rules IN Court, if you know what I mean,” he jeered and walked away, hoping his professors would never hear of those words. He’d be dead meat in his Legal Ethics class if that happens.
He kept a stupid grin on his face as he sauntered over the table he previously occupied, gathered his things and escaped from the library before that Medicine student thinks of a comeback.
And the most clichéd out of all clichéd things happened. His ID fell. Without him knowing. And when Lee Sungmin passed by the table Kyuhyun previously occupied, he saw the shining thing, picked it up and smiled mischievously. Karma has never been this good.
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The Legal Medicine quiz was a no-brainer for him. Even with the results coming out the week after, Kyuhyun is so sure he will pass with flying colors.
Patting the book he held in his right hand, he passed by the usually crowded hallway of the College of Law filled with students hurrying off to their next class. Kyuhyun does not usually pay attention to them; he’s had his fair share of carrying tons of books during his first years in the College and it’s only natural for freshmen to suffer the same fate as he did.
So he went straight to the library to return the book. The friendly librarian greeted him as he stood in front of her. It was only then that Kyuhyun realized something: his ID is missing!
“I must have misplaced it. But I can still return this book and borrow another without it, right?” he asked and the librarian nodded.
“Of course. I just need your ID number if you will borrow a new book. Just make sure to replace your ID by the end of the week,” she said, typing in the ID number Kyuhyun dictated to her.
But then she frowned and Kyuhyun stared curiously at her. “Kyuhyun-sshi… the record says you’ve already exceeded the number of books you’re allowed to borrow. Unless you return them, you cannot borrow another,” she said and Kyuhyun’s eyes grew larger than the largest saucer (if there’s such a thing).
“What do you mean I’ve exceeded the limit? I only borrowed this book!” he exclaimed and the librarian ushered him closer to look at the record. Then it stared at him on the face: the record said he borrowed ten books yesterday. But that’s not what annoyed him. He would have accepted it as a library mistake if not for the title and subject of the books: all on Human Anatomy.
“What the hell...!” Kyuhyun exclaimed and covered his mouth as curious glares shot at him. “Since when did I become a Medicine student?” he hissed and then it dawned on him: Legal Medicine book, annoying Medicine student, missing ID, Lee Sungmin!
“I’m really sorry Kyuhyun-sshi but you can’t borrow a new book unless you return the books. And they’re all due tomorrow.”
And with that, Cho Kyuhyun found himself marching towards the building that houses the College of Medicine with murder on his mind. Coincidentally, he needs to urgently borrow a Criminal Law book and his mind is filled with criminal thoughts. Maybe he could kill this medicine student slowly with thumbtacks and needles, or hang him upside down on a bridge… or better yet, lock him in a room with Ryeowook for a night. For sure, anyone would die from listening to Ryeowook talking about how ice cream can make you look younger.
He went straight to the dean’s office, worked his Kyuhyun-magic on the elderly dean, flashed an innocent smile, lied about a Legal Aide Clinic with Lee Sungmin and in ten minutes, he had the moron’s schedule in his hands.
“I didn’t take up law for nothing, asshole.” Kyuhyun murmured as he stood beside the door of one of the classrooms and waited for Lee Sungmin’s class to finish before jumping on him and murdering him on the spot. Okay, wait, jumping on him sounds totally wrong.
Fifteen minutes later, the door opened and out came the professor with a satisfied smirk on his face, followed by gloomy looking students who emit an aura as if someone has died. And then lo and behold! Out came Lee Sungmin with a goofy smile on his face, talking animatedly to a man who looks as if his thoughts are floating somewhere else.
When Lee Sungmin caught a glimpse of Kyuhyun, he pushed his companion out the door and tried to shut the said door on Kyuhyun’s face. Oh but Kyuhyun is a sneaky, skinny bastard and all those nights of dieting and fasting worked well for him. He was able to slip through the small opening of the door.
“Ha!” he leered triumphantly and locked the door behind him. “You think you can get away with messing with me, don’t you?” he narrowed his eyes dangerously at Sungmin. “If you give me the books now, I promise you’ll die an instant death. No torture.”
“Is that even legal?” Lee Sungmin said as he sat down on a chair and the bastard had the guts to look amused.
Kyuhyun’s eyes narrowed dangerously and if he were a dragon, he would have had smoke coming out of his nose right now but he’s not a dragon; he’s an angry law student whose mind is filled with a thousand thoughts on ways to kill Lee Sungmin without going to jail.
“Look, I know what I did was immature but you were also immature yesterday!” Lee Sungmin defended.
“Right.”
“I even almost failed my quiz today!” the medicine student pouted. “So I felt the need to get back at you. But don’t worry, I’ll return the books tomorrow since I’m such a good person”
“Uh huh…”
“I swear over my roommate’s dead body!”
“Like I care about your roommate.” Kyuhyun said unenthusiastically. “I want the books returned now, give me back my ID and let me finish my course in peace. You can even have that freaking Legal Medicine book all you want and I wouldn’t care. Just…” he rubs his face. “Just return the books and give me my ID back.”
“Well… would it work if I just return one? I still need the other nine books…” Lee Sungmin grinned and Kyuhyun stomped his feet on the floor.
“Fine! Just return it! I need to borrow a book and I can’t borrow anything unless you return one!”
So they went to Lee Sungmin’s locker where the books were deposited. It took a minute of fiddling with the correct combination, two minutes of cursing loudly, one minute of staring at each other and the rest of the afternoon was spent with Kyuhyun bitching and cursing at Sungmin for forgetting the correct number combination to open his own goddamn locker.
“How.can.you.be.such.a.moron?!” Kyuhyun exclaimed as he pushes Sungmin away from the locker and tried his hands on guessing the correct combination, to no avail. “Ugh!” he punched the locker door and winced at the pain that shot through his fist. “Didn’t you write the combination anywhere? Maybe your roommate knows?” Kyuhyun asked and groaned louder when he glanced at the large wall clock at the end of the hall. Five minutes to five pm. The library closes at five pm and he needs that stupid book for a killer recitation the next day. And yes, his midterm grade for Criminal Law Review relies on that recitation.
“I’m sorry,” Lee Sungmin said dejectedly. “But hey… law students are supposed to own their own books! Don’t you have your own books? Why borrow from the library?” he asked with hopeful eyes and Kyuhyun shot him a dirty look while nursing his hurting knuckles.
“Excuse me for living on a tight monthly allowance.” The law student hissed and if possible, Sungmin felt even guiltier. He sighed and came to a decision, ignoring Kyuhyun’s death threats as he pulled the other towards the dormitory.
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Sungmin’s roommate, Kim Heechul was busy fixing his hair when they burst through the door, Sungmin pulling a cursing, hissing and whining Kyuhyun.
“If you do something crazy to me, I swear you’ll spend the rest of your life cleaning prison toilets with toothbrush!” Kyuhyun was saying as Sungmin pulled him inside.
“Oh! Heechul-hyung… sorry for interrupting you, this is Kyu, a law student, he hurt his fingers, will be gone in no time.” Sungmin said incoherently at his roommate who jumped at the sound of Kyuhyun’s voice.
Heechul eyed them suspiciously and murmured, “Hurt fingers? Is it me or it really sounded plain dirty?”
Kyuhyun glared at him. “It’s just because your mind is probably filled with equally dirty things!” He then turned to Sungmin “and you! When did I ever say you can call me Kyu? Only my mother calls me Kyu. You’re not even my mother… well duh! How can you be my mother if - “
His sentence was cut off when Sungmin shoved a pair of socks in his mouth halfway through speaking.
“Don’t you ever shut up?” he asked, opening the small fridge (yes, their room has this small fridge because Heechul is a rich bastard) and taking out a pack of ice.
Kyuhyun angrily threw the socks away, wiped his mouth and planned more horrible death scenes for Sungmin.
“For the information of your ignoramus brain, I have a right to speak my mind. It’s in the Constitution. It’s called Freedom of Speech! And the socks better be clean or I’ll shove gasoline down your throat.”
Heechul apparently had enough of the whiny law student. He stood up, gave Kyuhyun a look from head to toe and said “Sungmin never washes his socks,” and before Kyuhyun could react, Heechul turned to Sungmin. “I have no idea where you got this whiny imp, but I’m leaving to save my eardrums. Give me a call when the room is quiet again,” and with that he was gone.
And the room was indeed quiet except for the sounds of Sungmin trying to wrap the ice in a clean towel and Kyuhyun’s murmurs of “As if I’m a fucking thing you just pick up from the ground!”
“Sorry, Heechul-hyung can sometimes act cold.” Sungmin said, pressing the cold compress on Kyuhyun’s knuckles. “And I’m sorry about the locker thing. Look… if you need the book so badly, maybe we can head over to the nearest book store and buy one? I’ll shoulder the costs.” He said, looking really sorry and vulnerable and cute that Kyuhyun just had to stop and stare.
“I… what?” And for the first time in his life, Kyuhyun forgot what he was trying to say and he ended up saying “Well, I could understand why you would want to swear over your roommate’s dead body”.
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Kyuhyun stared guiltily at the Notes on Criminal Law book he held in his left hand and sighed at his bandaged right hand (Sungmin insisted on bandaging it, for some reason Kyuhyun did not care to understand).
“Look, I’ll pay you when I have the money,” Kyuhyun said silently as they sat inside ramyun shop. Sungmin declared he was hungry and convinced Kyuhyun that spending an hour or two eating ramyun with him will not cause his failure in Criminal Law Review.
“Yeah, sure. Whatever,” the Medicine student said, playing with his chopsticks excitedly. “hey, hey… do you know what I love most when ordering food?”
Kyuhyun stared at him. “How should I know? I only met you yesterday.”
“Yeah, whatever,” Sungmin said and proceeded with his story. “I love it when the waiter comes and says ‘thanks for waiting, here’s your order’”. Sungmin beamed at him like a little kid. “That’s the best part. Like… woohoo! It’s my food!”
“uh huh…” Kyuhyun deadpanned. “Wow…” he said sarcastically and watched as Sungmin indeed made a face like an excited little kid as the waiter announced that their order has arrived. “Are you really a Medicine student? Or did you just totally lie about everything?”
With a mouthful of ramyun, Sungmin innocently asked “what do you mean?” and Kyuhyun gave up.
That night, as the ramyun slowly got consumed, Kyuhyun got to know Lee Sungmin. He’s from a rich family in Seoul, an only son and his mother spoils him like hell. He likes to spend his free time in the ocean and he’ll charter a boat, even when it’s storming. He likes to draw, he likes to sing, he likes to dance and he likes looking at human organs. He loves ramyun and any food, he’ll say anything that touches his taste buds is delicious and he sometimes spaces out during classes. He has a best friend named Kim Yesung and Kyuhyun wondered why the name sounded familiar and this Kim Yesung might look like he got all the muscles in the world but is actually a wimp (and he’s in love with a law student like you, Sungmin gossiped ).
“You sound like you hate this Kim Yesung,” Kyuhyun observed.
“I don’t! I love Yesungie”
“Uh huh…?” Kyuhyun asked curiously.
“Not in the way you’re thinking! I love him because he’s my friend not because he’s… wait… do you have reservations about liking another man?” Sungmin had asked and Kyuhyun decided it’s about time to end the conversation because the topic somehow jumped from Sungmin’s biography to Kyuhyun’s sexual preferences.
When Sungmin started to take out his wallet and pay, Kyuhyun searched for his own wallet and insisted that he be the one to pay the bill.
So when they separated that night and Sungmin had waved and said “It was great talking to you Kyu!” Kyuhyun touched his pockets and groaned, wondering why a self-proclaimed cheapskate like him paid for another’s meal that impulsively. And then he remembers the book in his hands and things got a little bit clearer.
Well…that is until he arrived in his own dormitory and Kim Ryeowook fired unending questions at him. Why is your hand bandaged? Why did you arrive only now? Who were you with? And things like that.
“Ryeowook… shut up.” Kyuhyun said. “And my hand is hurt because I punched a goddamn locker,” he added miserably.
Ryeowook looked thoughtful for a second before he gasped and said “Eh! You fight with lockers now? I thought you’re only limited to fighting with people.” Kyuhyun cursed his fate for being roommates with Ryeowook (and he really wondered why Ryeowook is a law student too) and threw a thick Rules of Court book towards his roommate.
“Hey!” Ryeowook protested and threw back the little book. It landed in front of Kyuhyun’s feet and as he picked it up and read the title, a little grin appeared on his face.
“What we follow now is Rules IN Court, if you know what I mean,” his own words repeated itself in Kyuhyun’s mind.
“Waah~” Ryeowook exclaimed, looking at him. “You’re smiling and it scares me.”
Kyuhyun looked at his roommate and asked “If I treated you to a ramyun dinner, will you be scared too?”
Ryeowook’s mouth opened and closed and when he finally spoke, all he said was “Get away from me you impostor! Where’s the real Kyuhyun?!”
And that’s probably the start of the doomsday of his life.
The next day, Kyuhyun found out the books had been returned promptly and he could borrow books again. The day after, Kyuhyun needed the Legal Medicine book once again and as he sauntered over to the shelf that holds it, he found another person browsing through it and thought for a moment that it might be Sungmin but it turned out to be another law student. The slight disappointment that coursed through him should have alarmed Kyuhyun, but it did not, really, it did not. The day after that day, a professor asked him for a favor to hand over something to the professor in the College of Medicine and as he walks through the hallways, he half expected to see Sungmin there but he didn’t. And the disappointment once again did not alarm him.
A week or two passed, more quizzes, more recitations, Kyuhyun got absorbed in trying to be a lawyer that he actually forgot he ever met Lee Sungmin. Until one afternoon, before his last class ended, the professor announced that the annual Legal Aide Clinic to be sponsored by the College of Law during the School festival would be held the week after. Kyuhyun was teamed up with Ryeowook and three others for the morning duty.
“Why do I get to be teamed up with you~” Kyuhyun whined and Ryeowook sat comfortably in one of the chairs inside their Legal Aide booth, tapped his pen on the table nonchalantly and waited for anyone to seek his oh so awesome legal advice.
Someone actually came and Kyuhyun found out he actually held his breath when Lee Sungmin entered, all smiles, followed by a man Kyuhyun remembered as the weirdo and followed yet again by Sungmin’s annoying roommate, Kim Heechul.
“Ah~ Yesung-ah~” Ryeowook said and flashed the other a huge grin.
“You know this weird person?” Kyuhyun asked his roommate.
“Who?” Ryeowook and Yesung asked together, shooting curious glances at Kyuhyun. “Ah! Oh Yesungie?” Ryeowook finally understood and grinned as he answered mysteriously “Oh yes~ I know him.”
“Hey Kyu… it’s been quite a while, huh?” Sungmin greeted him. Kyuhyun nodded, gave him an acknowledging smile and ignored the morbidly curious stare Ryeowook gave him while mouthing “Kyu?”
Kyuhyun cleared his throat “So uhh… what can we do for you?” he asked.
Sungmin pointed to the annoying roommate. “Heechul-hyung lost his driver’s license. He thought maybe he could ask you to draft an Affidavit of Loss for him so he doesn’t have to go through the trouble of seeing a Notary Public.”
Kyuhyun shot a wicked grin at Sungmin’s roommate. “And I figure Heechul-hyung couldn’t speak for himself so he allows his roommate to speak for him?” he taunted and thought “haha! Bitch. This is payback”.
Heechul looked like a bomb that’s about to explode. “Speaking is a matter of preference for me,” he defended. “Look, if you have time to nag about speaking, maybe you have the time to do that Affidavit of Loss so I don’t have to waste my time listening to you!”
“Are you fighting?” Ryeowook asked stupidly and Kyuhyun rolled his eyes at him.
“Oh no. We’re old friends. This is how we catch up with each other,” Kyuhyun sarcastically said and asked Ryeowook to type an Affidavit of Loss in his laptop (“you do know how to write an Affidavit of Loss, don’t you?” Kyuhyun glared) and proceeded to interview Heechul for the specific details.
“Are you married or single?” Kyuhyun asked.
“Depends on why you want to know,” Heechul said, Sungmin stared at him, Yesung looks like he wanted to die and Kyuhyun looks like he wanted Heechul to die.
Kyuhyun was about to make a witty comeback when Ryeowook’s typing skills caught his attention. “My God Ryeowook! Your typing is so freaking Biblical,” Kyuhyun commented and usurped Ryeowook’s position as being the typist.
“Biblical?” Sungmin asked, confused.
“Yeah. Seek and you shall find” Kyuhyun said, imitating Ryeowook’s finger per finger typing, searching for the letters.
Sungmin gave a cute little chuckle and said “Oh. Such a witty remark, Kyunnie,” and Kyuhyun had to mentally slap himself for thinking that it was cute instead of retarded.
After a few agonizing minutes of bearing with Heechul’s intense murderous stare, Ryeowook and Yesung’s flirting and Sungmin’s idiotically blank face, Kyuhyun finished drafting the Affidavit of Loss, told his groupmate to call for their lawyer-professor who was busy flirting with younger girls, shoved the Affidavit of Loss to his professor who in turn notarized it and gave it to Heechul.
“There. Anything more?” Kyuhyun asked.
Heechul shook his head, muttered something about bitchy law students and left.
“Uhmm… hey! Want another ramyun adventure?” Sungmin asked Kyuhyun in a disturbingly sweet voice and Kyuhyun had no will to turn it down. He forced himself to ignore the surprised “Oh” that Ryeowook mouthed to him and focused on regaining his brain cells to understand this sudden weakness in front of Sungmin.
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As Kyuhyun sat in front of Sungmin in the same ramyun shop, his cellphone vibrated and just so he could distract himself from feeling all irrationally nervous, he checked the message and plotted to poison Ryeowook’s milk that night.
“Ho! Ho! Enjoying the date? I never knew you liked guys, Kyuhyun-ah” Ryeowook’s message said.
“Die!” Kyuhyun hissed at his cellphone, causing Sungmin to look curiously at him. He shook his head and furiously started typing a reply.
“I suggest you don’t drink your milk tonight. You might never wake up tomorrow,” Kyuhyun replied, pressing his phone’s keypad murderously.
Kyuhyun pressed the ‘send’ button, completely oblivious that the food has arrived and Sungmin started eating.
“Ooohh~ I’m scared. Enjoy your date. Yesung said Sungmin-sshi likes the ocean. You might want to learn more about the Pacific Ocean. Mwahahaha,” Ryeowook continued his teasing and Kyuhyun really wanted to murder him. So bad.
“Die you idiot!” Kyuhyun continued hissing at his phone, as if Ryeowook could actually feel the curse if he did that.
“Kyu? Kyuhyun-sshi? Kyunnie?”
“WHAT!” Kyuhyun snarled and felt guilty when Sungmin pouted. “Uhh…I mean… HA?!” he gave a start when Sungmin held out a chopsticks-full of ramyun towards him. “What the hell are you doing?”
“Feeding you,” Sungmin said, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “You’re so skinny and for the last ten minutes, you’ve been busy with your cellphone. Maybe you do the same with all your law classes? So you need to eat more. Don’t neglect it.”
Kyuhyun looked scandalized. “I can eat by myself,” he said and Sungmin pouted and Kyuhyun just had to open his mouth and accept the ramyun, his brain crowing “cheesy~!” at him.
“I’m not really a big eater,” Kyuhyun reasons.
“But it doesn’t mean you have to neglect food. There are a lot of people who can barely eat and…” Sungmin took a look a Kyuhyun’s untouched ramyun. “And look! You’re ignoring the ramyun. There are people who’ll die for a bowl of ramyun, you know.”
“Will they be satisfied and full if I eat my ramyun?” Kyuhyun asked sarcastically. Sungmin looked hurt and ate in silence for the next minute. “I mean… I don’t really like ramyun that much,” he reasons and if possible, Sungmin looked more hurt. “But I do love chocolates! Do you know that a research in France revealed that chocolate actually stimulates the brain neurons and helps you digest information accurately?” he ended up blabbering and Sungmin looked as if he’s hearing the most amazing story in the world.
“Ah… really?” Sungmin asked, eyes wide and beaming, lips formed an amazed ‘O’ before it curved up into an amazing smile and Kyuhyun could swear over everyone’s body that he sort of fell in love right then and there.
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After that day, Kyuhyun would find chocolates in front of their dorm room every morning when he opens the door. Sometimes they come with a note that says “Hope this helps with the studying” and sometimes they were simply wrapped hastily.
Ryeowook teased him mercilessly each time Kyuhyun re-enters the room with a bunch of chocolates in hand. Sometimes he eats them, sometimes he stores them in his precious box and hides them away from Ryeowook. And then when Ryeowook could not find the chocolate one day, he did his revenge by gossiping to their classmates that Kyuhyun receives chocolates everyday from the cute Medicine student and that he’s betting they’ll get together in no time.
What made the situation even worse was Sungmin waiting for him outside their room every afternoon, asking if Kyuhyun wanted to eat some ramyun, take a walk in the park, visit the College of Medicine laboratory (“I bet you looking at the cadavers is exciting!”) or simply sit in the library and study.
And so this I-bet-you-Kyuhyun-will-get-laid-by-the-Medicine-guy-in-a-month bet was born and Kyuhyun had plotted the death of each and every participant, with Ryeowook the first in line. His roommate has been apologetic but could not do anything to stop their classmates.
“They have a right, you know!” he reasons and Kyuhyun wanted nothing more than to strangle him. So his classmates, being the boring people that they were, suddenly took interest in his love story.
Kyuhyun knew he should have stopped with this vague thing with Sungmin the first time Sungmin asked if he wanted to go to the ocean with him on a lazy weekend. But being the weakened fool that he is in front of the guy, Kyuhyun agreed and they found themselves chartering a boat before sunrise that Sunday morning and heading out to sea.
Kyuhyun hated the sea but since Sungmin loved the sea, he wanted to love it too but some things are really, really easier said than done. As soon as the waves rocked the boat, Kyuhyun was out of action. The world was spinning around him and he had this disturbing urge to throw up. Seasickness.
“Hey, I’m really sorry, I didn’t know,” Sungmin apologized, rubbing Kyuhyun’s back when indeed, he started throwing up. “Maybe we should head back?”
Kyuhyun shook his head. “No. Go, enjoy the sea breeze. Don’t mind me.” He said and leaned back on the side of the boat, cursing whoever is responsible for his misery.
To distract him from his seasickness, Sungmin started telling stories about himself. And Kyuhyun found out that Sungmin had never been in love before. He was a no-girlfriend/boyfriend-since-birth person and when Kyuhyun said he’s the same, the other man gave him a knowing grin. Sungmin loves how the sea looks when the sunrises. Sungmin’s dream is to cross the Pacific Ocean in one day. Sungmin once saw a man shoving his face inside a bucket to create a mold of his head (and Kyuhyun remembers his Legal Medicine lessons). Sungmin is a very patient guy. Sungmin loves to make friends.
And Sungmin loves Kyuhyun. Like crazy.
“Huh?” Kyuhyun asked stupidly, the dizziness suddenly forgotten. Sungmin nodded with hopeful eyes and Kyuhyun suddenly remembers the stupid bet that Ryeowook started. It was probably retarded but the more he wanted to say that he is in love with Sungmin too, the more that he wanted to prove that he won’t get laid that easily and that the stupid bet was nothing but an idiocy.
And so, as clichéd at it could be (and probably as stupid) he said “Let me think about it” and quickly regretted it.
That morning, as the sun gloriously winked hello at the world, they returned to shore, back to the dorms and Kyuhyun felt that his heart was actually left in the sea that Sungmin loved so much.
----------------------------
Because Cho Kyuhyun believes that a man should be true to his words, he avoided Sungmin the week that followed that incident and he honestly really did think about how to answer him. Well, even if he really did not want to think about it, there’s no helping it.
He still receives chocolates propped against his door every morning and they still come with silly little messages. Sungmin still waits for him every afternoon after his classes but Kyuhyun always tries to make excuses like an exam the next day or a Practice Court briefing. Sometimes though he intentionally gets lost in the College of Medicine building, snoop around until he finds the Sungmin’s classroom and peeks at him from the small glass on the door and when he’s satisfied, he would leave without even saying a hello.
“My God, how much more masochist could you get?” Ryeowook kept on nagging him. “You love Sungmin-sshi, Sungmin-sshi loves you… so what’s keeping you from saying that to him? If it’s the bet, that’s stupid.”
Kyuhyun stared at him. “What’s keeping me from admitting that to him? It’s something called real life”.
“Duh! And what’s Sungmin-sshi? Your alternate reality life?” Ryeowook sighed.
“I just… you know… love is not that easy for me. It’s like this Logic course we had back when we were in the pre-law course, you know. You need to have the proper analytical mind before you can pass the course. I need my proper reasoning skills before diving into this love business.”
Ryeowook stared at him like he’s the world’s biggest idiot and patted him on the back. “I’ve always really thought you’re an intelligent person, Kyuhyun. But really… love is like this difficult and long quiz in Criminal Law. You do not have the time to think about it, just go ahead and answer and you can only hope that you’re writing the right answers. Got me?”
“I don’t.”
“Oh for goodness’ sake! Just go ahead and tell him! Sungmin-sshi is entitled to due process, you know. You can’t just leave him hanging in the air without due notice and hearing.”
“Ugh! You make the worst comparisons ever, did you notice?” Kyuhyun asked, refusing to admit that Ryeowook almost had him convinced.
“You can’t think about everything in an analytical way, Kyuhyun. Sometimes… you know, sometimes… we lose the ones that are most important to us when we over-analyze things… do you really want to lose Sungmin-sshi?
---------------------
Apparently, Ryeowook is not the only one worrying over the outcome of their love story. One weekend before the final exams, Yesung and Heechul appeared on Kyuhyun’s doorstep and Heechul shoved Kyuhyun against a wall the moment he opened the door.
“The fuck?!” Kyuhyun cursed, trying to wriggle free of the other’s grasp.
“Are you really a moron or are you just a sadist who enjoys watching someone else suffer?” Heechul roughly asked as Yesung tried to calm him down.
“What?”
“Don’t ‘what’ me. You know what I’m talking about! Sungmin is suffering because of you, asshole!” Heechul spat, ignoring Yesung’s pleas of keeping things diplomatic.
And because Kyuhyun is as snarky as Heechul, he just couldn’t stay still while this man insults him (and sprays saliva on his face). “Well if you’re so concerned about him, why don’t you just get into a relationship with him!” he challenged.
Yesung and Heechul looked scandalized and when Yesung spoke, Kyuhyun could feel his heart break into a thousand pieces. “Even if Heechul-hyung wants to, he can’t. You know why? Because Sungmin wants you. He wants only you.”
And Kyuhyun realized he’d been a jerk all along.
---------------------------------
So, hours later, he stood in front of Sungmin and Heechul’s dorm room, hands in his pockets, heart out in his sleeves. He mustered all the courage he could get to knock on the door and when it finally opened and revealed a wrecked-looking Sungmin, Kyuhyun knew he should have come earlier.
“I’m so - “ he started to say but Sungmin shushed him.
“You have the right to remain silent,” Sungmin said.
“What the - “
“Anything you say can be and will be used against you.”
“Ha?”
“You can hire a lawyer but if you have no lawyer… hell, what am I saying?”
Kyuhyun huffed and pinched the idiot’s cheeks. “Don’t even try reciting the Miranda Doctrine if you don’t know the exact words.” He said adoringly and Sungmin beamed at him.
“I pored over tons and tons of law books just to tell you that.” Sungmin said.
“I know.”
“Look, I even tried to look up this due process thing that Ryeowook-sshi mentioned to me. He says I should assert my Constitutional right to due notice and hearing, whatever that means.”
“I know.”
“And look… I even bought you a new Legal Medicine book so if you ever need it again…”
“I know.”
“Say something else other than I know!”
“You said everything I say will be and can be used against me.”
“Kyuhyun~!” Sungmin whined and Kyuhyun laughed.
“I love you too, Lee Sungmin.” Kyuhyun finally admitted and when Sungmin’s face broke into that heavenly grin, he knew he said the right words.
“What took you long enough to say that?”
“Oh you know… I have this Constitutional right against unlawful arrest.”
“What the fuck does that have to do with us?” Sungmin demanded, frowning at him.
“You can’t capture me unless you have valid warrant of arrest. But apparently, something called The court of Kyuhyun’s Heart decided that I was caught in flagrante delicto so you don’t need a warrant of arrest. You captured me way before you said ‘I love you…’”.
“Kyuhyun…?”
“Hmm…?
“Shut up. You say the cheesiest pickup lines ever.”
Kyuhyun laughed and wanted to say more but when Sungmin grabbed him and pressed their lips together, he knew a judgment had already been rendered even before a case was filed.
Hell, Sungmin could even drag him to bed at that very moment and Kyuhyun would not complain of sexual assault. Why? Because Kyuhyun lost all his logic when he fell in love with Sungmin.
“You think we’ll be mortal enemies when I become a doctor and you become a lawyer?” Sungmin asked.
Kyuhyun shrugged. “The worst of enemies are the best of lovers, they say. Now are you going to shut up and continue kissing me or do you want me to do it the forceful way?”
END.
----------------------
1. What? I am entitled to write random, plotless fics once in a while, right? Hahaha!
2. MAJOR EDIT (how the hell did that even happen?): OKAY! Actually, I wrote this years ago when I’m still VERY VERY ACTIVE IN WRITING FOR the Arashi fandom. hahaha
3. Definition of terms time!
Legal Medicine - is a branch of law that mainly deals with forensic evidence.
Rules of Court - is a bunch of rules to facilitate how a case should be filed in courts and things like that.
Rules IN Court - the not-so-legal way of doing things.
Due Process - the right of every person to be notified that a case was filed against him and to be given a chance to defend himself.
Miranda Doctrine - you heart that in series and movies. It’s the famous line police people actually say to a person who is caught doing a crime.
In Flagrante Delicto - it somewhat means ‘caught in the act of doing a crime’ you don’t need a warrant of arrest to arrest a person.
Warrant of Arrest - needed before someone can be lawfully arrested.
4. Nica is still the queen of bad grammar.
5. WOOOHOO~
6. The court of Kyuhyun's heart. BLAME MY FREAKING CRAZY PROFESSOR BACK IN LAW SCHOOL FOR THAT LINE AND BLAME ME FOR PUTTING IT HERE. GDI. OMG.
Plotless fic ahead... hahaha. Really... seriously... totally plotless fic ahead. hahaha
This Thing Called Love
The heart wants what it wants.
There’s no logic to these things.
You meet someone and you fall in love.
That’s that.
-Woody Allen
Cho Kyuhyun secretly cursed the people who invented the study of law as he sat in the university library, in the middle of the afternoon, bent over his own notes on the study of Legal Medicine.
“… if you measure the circumference of the head, multiply it by eleven then you’ll get a rough estimate of the height of the person…” he reads and wondered how this information could be useful unless he walks home one evening, finds a dead head (duh!) in his room, measures it and runs around looking for someone who knew someone whose height is what he measured. “The hell…” he murmured, dismissing his own thoughts.
He closed his rough notes, briefly wanted to throw it away and go home to the comfort of his own video games (which are already sulking because he haven’t touched it for months now). He stood up, remembers the major Legal Medicine quiz waiting for him the next day and sat again, cursing himself for even wanting to be a lawyer.
“…paraffin tests are not admissible as evidence in court. Fire a gun, pee on your hands after and you’re safe,” his notes said and Kyuhyun smirked at the peeing part. Then his notes abruptly ended there and Kyuhyun ended up cursing such peeing part. He was probably too lazy to take notes after that. So he wandered over to the shelves containing law books and browsed around for any book on Legal Medicine.
After ten freaking minutes of searching, he found the one and only copy (how could that have happened?!) of the most reliable Legal Medicine book in the library. He reached out, found it too high for him to reach in spite of his height, so he jumped a little to reach it and collided with someone who was also jumping to reach the damn book.
Kyuhyun gave an annoyed sound of pain, the other man kept his silence as the Legal Medicine book fell on his head and landed on the floor.
“haha!” Kyuhyun thought and bent down to pick up the book, however, his hand closed over the hand of the other person as the man bent down at the same time that Kyuhyun did to pick up the fallen book.
“I saw this first,” Kyuhyun said through gritted teeth.
“I touched it first,” the other man said, his words were stressed but his face remained annoyingly blank and expressionless.
“First to see, first to get!” Kyuhyun glared at him, his hands tightening on the book (and of course the other man’s hands). “It’s the natural course of things,” he deadpans.
The man shook his head and stubbornly kept his grip on the book. “Toucher, owner,” he said stupidly and Kyuhyun vaguely wondered if there is such a word as toucher. “There’s none. So this guy is a moron.” Kyuhyun’s brain deduced (well… his brain thinks that anyone who is not him is a moron haha!).
“This is a Legal Medicine book, shelved in the Law side of the library so it should belong to law students. Are you a law student? No? Then back off. I’m a law student, I get first priority!”
“All is fair in law.”
Kyuhyun suppressed his cry of annoyance. He has a fucking Legal Medicine quiz the next day and the last thing he wanted to do is fight over this precious, one copy Legal Medicine book with some student from - he takes a look at the student’s ID - from the College of Medicine of all freaking colleges!
“Look…” Kyuhyun said as he squint his eyes, trying to read the man’s name. “Lee Sungmin-sshi… I am a law student, I have a major quiz tomorrow and I need this book to pass. If I don’t pass that freaking subject, I’ll be delayed to graduate by one year, I won’t be able to take the BAR exams this year and the BAR exams the next year will be tougher than my ass so you might not want to ruin my future,” he said his litany and hopefully it would be enough to convince this moron that Kyuhyun’s reasons are far more important than his. The other man seemed a little stunned at the mention of his name but then he recovered and the blank expression returned to his face.
Lee Sungmin seemed to think for a minute and looked up the ceiling but then shook his head.
“Can’t do. My professor in Human Anatomy has a wife who’s a lawyer and he loves the law so he lectures about these legal procedures implied in medicine and he’ll be giving a quiz tomorrow about that shit too. So I need this book.”
“Argh!” Kyuhyun snarled at him, straightened his back and kicked the man on the knees. The sudden impact must have been really painful so Lee Sungmin’s grip on the book loosened, his hands automatically nursing his knees and Kyuhyun snatched the book away from him the first instance he got.
“Wahaha!” He sneered triumphantly at Sungmin, but then stopped when he heard the words that dangerously sounded like asshole. “What did you just say?” he challenged.
Lee Sungmin shook his head and threw him a dirty look.
“What happened to lawyers and their freaking rules of court?” he asked.
Kyuhyun made a face at him as if he’s an idiot and secured the book in his arms. “Damn, you must have lived a thousand years before me. Rules of Court are for those who abide by the rules and have their asses kicked. What we follow now is Rules IN Court, if you know what I mean,” he jeered and walked away, hoping his professors would never hear of those words. He’d be dead meat in his Legal Ethics class if that happens.
He kept a stupid grin on his face as he sauntered over the table he previously occupied, gathered his things and escaped from the library before that Medicine student thinks of a comeback.
And the most clichéd out of all clichéd things happened. His ID fell. Without him knowing. And when Lee Sungmin passed by the table Kyuhyun previously occupied, he saw the shining thing, picked it up and smiled mischievously. Karma has never been this good.
----------------------------
The Legal Medicine quiz was a no-brainer for him. Even with the results coming out the week after, Kyuhyun is so sure he will pass with flying colors.
Patting the book he held in his right hand, he passed by the usually crowded hallway of the College of Law filled with students hurrying off to their next class. Kyuhyun does not usually pay attention to them; he’s had his fair share of carrying tons of books during his first years in the College and it’s only natural for freshmen to suffer the same fate as he did.
So he went straight to the library to return the book. The friendly librarian greeted him as he stood in front of her. It was only then that Kyuhyun realized something: his ID is missing!
“I must have misplaced it. But I can still return this book and borrow another without it, right?” he asked and the librarian nodded.
“Of course. I just need your ID number if you will borrow a new book. Just make sure to replace your ID by the end of the week,” she said, typing in the ID number Kyuhyun dictated to her.
But then she frowned and Kyuhyun stared curiously at her. “Kyuhyun-sshi… the record says you’ve already exceeded the number of books you’re allowed to borrow. Unless you return them, you cannot borrow another,” she said and Kyuhyun’s eyes grew larger than the largest saucer (if there’s such a thing).
“What do you mean I’ve exceeded the limit? I only borrowed this book!” he exclaimed and the librarian ushered him closer to look at the record. Then it stared at him on the face: the record said he borrowed ten books yesterday. But that’s not what annoyed him. He would have accepted it as a library mistake if not for the title and subject of the books: all on Human Anatomy.
“What the hell...!” Kyuhyun exclaimed and covered his mouth as curious glares shot at him. “Since when did I become a Medicine student?” he hissed and then it dawned on him: Legal Medicine book, annoying Medicine student, missing ID, Lee Sungmin!
“I’m really sorry Kyuhyun-sshi but you can’t borrow a new book unless you return the books. And they’re all due tomorrow.”
And with that, Cho Kyuhyun found himself marching towards the building that houses the College of Medicine with murder on his mind. Coincidentally, he needs to urgently borrow a Criminal Law book and his mind is filled with criminal thoughts. Maybe he could kill this medicine student slowly with thumbtacks and needles, or hang him upside down on a bridge… or better yet, lock him in a room with Ryeowook for a night. For sure, anyone would die from listening to Ryeowook talking about how ice cream can make you look younger.
He went straight to the dean’s office, worked his Kyuhyun-magic on the elderly dean, flashed an innocent smile, lied about a Legal Aide Clinic with Lee Sungmin and in ten minutes, he had the moron’s schedule in his hands.
“I didn’t take up law for nothing, asshole.” Kyuhyun murmured as he stood beside the door of one of the classrooms and waited for Lee Sungmin’s class to finish before jumping on him and murdering him on the spot. Okay, wait, jumping on him sounds totally wrong.
Fifteen minutes later, the door opened and out came the professor with a satisfied smirk on his face, followed by gloomy looking students who emit an aura as if someone has died. And then lo and behold! Out came Lee Sungmin with a goofy smile on his face, talking animatedly to a man who looks as if his thoughts are floating somewhere else.
When Lee Sungmin caught a glimpse of Kyuhyun, he pushed his companion out the door and tried to shut the said door on Kyuhyun’s face. Oh but Kyuhyun is a sneaky, skinny bastard and all those nights of dieting and fasting worked well for him. He was able to slip through the small opening of the door.
“Ha!” he leered triumphantly and locked the door behind him. “You think you can get away with messing with me, don’t you?” he narrowed his eyes dangerously at Sungmin. “If you give me the books now, I promise you’ll die an instant death. No torture.”
“Is that even legal?” Lee Sungmin said as he sat down on a chair and the bastard had the guts to look amused.
Kyuhyun’s eyes narrowed dangerously and if he were a dragon, he would have had smoke coming out of his nose right now but he’s not a dragon; he’s an angry law student whose mind is filled with a thousand thoughts on ways to kill Lee Sungmin without going to jail.
“Look, I know what I did was immature but you were also immature yesterday!” Lee Sungmin defended.
“Right.”
“I even almost failed my quiz today!” the medicine student pouted. “So I felt the need to get back at you. But don’t worry, I’ll return the books tomorrow since I’m such a good person”
“Uh huh…”
“I swear over my roommate’s dead body!”
“Like I care about your roommate.” Kyuhyun said unenthusiastically. “I want the books returned now, give me back my ID and let me finish my course in peace. You can even have that freaking Legal Medicine book all you want and I wouldn’t care. Just…” he rubs his face. “Just return the books and give me my ID back.”
“Well… would it work if I just return one? I still need the other nine books…” Lee Sungmin grinned and Kyuhyun stomped his feet on the floor.
“Fine! Just return it! I need to borrow a book and I can’t borrow anything unless you return one!”
So they went to Lee Sungmin’s locker where the books were deposited. It took a minute of fiddling with the correct combination, two minutes of cursing loudly, one minute of staring at each other and the rest of the afternoon was spent with Kyuhyun bitching and cursing at Sungmin for forgetting the correct number combination to open his own goddamn locker.
“How.can.you.be.such.a.moron?!” Kyuhyun exclaimed as he pushes Sungmin away from the locker and tried his hands on guessing the correct combination, to no avail. “Ugh!” he punched the locker door and winced at the pain that shot through his fist. “Didn’t you write the combination anywhere? Maybe your roommate knows?” Kyuhyun asked and groaned louder when he glanced at the large wall clock at the end of the hall. Five minutes to five pm. The library closes at five pm and he needs that stupid book for a killer recitation the next day. And yes, his midterm grade for Criminal Law Review relies on that recitation.
“I’m sorry,” Lee Sungmin said dejectedly. “But hey… law students are supposed to own their own books! Don’t you have your own books? Why borrow from the library?” he asked with hopeful eyes and Kyuhyun shot him a dirty look while nursing his hurting knuckles.
“Excuse me for living on a tight monthly allowance.” The law student hissed and if possible, Sungmin felt even guiltier. He sighed and came to a decision, ignoring Kyuhyun’s death threats as he pulled the other towards the dormitory.
-----------------------------
Sungmin’s roommate, Kim Heechul was busy fixing his hair when they burst through the door, Sungmin pulling a cursing, hissing and whining Kyuhyun.
“If you do something crazy to me, I swear you’ll spend the rest of your life cleaning prison toilets with toothbrush!” Kyuhyun was saying as Sungmin pulled him inside.
“Oh! Heechul-hyung… sorry for interrupting you, this is Kyu, a law student, he hurt his fingers, will be gone in no time.” Sungmin said incoherently at his roommate who jumped at the sound of Kyuhyun’s voice.
Heechul eyed them suspiciously and murmured, “Hurt fingers? Is it me or it really sounded plain dirty?”
Kyuhyun glared at him. “It’s just because your mind is probably filled with equally dirty things!” He then turned to Sungmin “and you! When did I ever say you can call me Kyu? Only my mother calls me Kyu. You’re not even my mother… well duh! How can you be my mother if - “
His sentence was cut off when Sungmin shoved a pair of socks in his mouth halfway through speaking.
“Don’t you ever shut up?” he asked, opening the small fridge (yes, their room has this small fridge because Heechul is a rich bastard) and taking out a pack of ice.
Kyuhyun angrily threw the socks away, wiped his mouth and planned more horrible death scenes for Sungmin.
“For the information of your ignoramus brain, I have a right to speak my mind. It’s in the Constitution. It’s called Freedom of Speech! And the socks better be clean or I’ll shove gasoline down your throat.”
Heechul apparently had enough of the whiny law student. He stood up, gave Kyuhyun a look from head to toe and said “Sungmin never washes his socks,” and before Kyuhyun could react, Heechul turned to Sungmin. “I have no idea where you got this whiny imp, but I’m leaving to save my eardrums. Give me a call when the room is quiet again,” and with that he was gone.
And the room was indeed quiet except for the sounds of Sungmin trying to wrap the ice in a clean towel and Kyuhyun’s murmurs of “As if I’m a fucking thing you just pick up from the ground!”
“Sorry, Heechul-hyung can sometimes act cold.” Sungmin said, pressing the cold compress on Kyuhyun’s knuckles. “And I’m sorry about the locker thing. Look… if you need the book so badly, maybe we can head over to the nearest book store and buy one? I’ll shoulder the costs.” He said, looking really sorry and vulnerable and cute that Kyuhyun just had to stop and stare.
“I… what?” And for the first time in his life, Kyuhyun forgot what he was trying to say and he ended up saying “Well, I could understand why you would want to swear over your roommate’s dead body”.
-----------------------------
Kyuhyun stared guiltily at the Notes on Criminal Law book he held in his left hand and sighed at his bandaged right hand (Sungmin insisted on bandaging it, for some reason Kyuhyun did not care to understand).
“Look, I’ll pay you when I have the money,” Kyuhyun said silently as they sat inside ramyun shop. Sungmin declared he was hungry and convinced Kyuhyun that spending an hour or two eating ramyun with him will not cause his failure in Criminal Law Review.
“Yeah, sure. Whatever,” the Medicine student said, playing with his chopsticks excitedly. “hey, hey… do you know what I love most when ordering food?”
Kyuhyun stared at him. “How should I know? I only met you yesterday.”
“Yeah, whatever,” Sungmin said and proceeded with his story. “I love it when the waiter comes and says ‘thanks for waiting, here’s your order’”. Sungmin beamed at him like a little kid. “That’s the best part. Like… woohoo! It’s my food!”
“uh huh…” Kyuhyun deadpanned. “Wow…” he said sarcastically and watched as Sungmin indeed made a face like an excited little kid as the waiter announced that their order has arrived. “Are you really a Medicine student? Or did you just totally lie about everything?”
With a mouthful of ramyun, Sungmin innocently asked “what do you mean?” and Kyuhyun gave up.
That night, as the ramyun slowly got consumed, Kyuhyun got to know Lee Sungmin. He’s from a rich family in Seoul, an only son and his mother spoils him like hell. He likes to spend his free time in the ocean and he’ll charter a boat, even when it’s storming. He likes to draw, he likes to sing, he likes to dance and he likes looking at human organs. He loves ramyun and any food, he’ll say anything that touches his taste buds is delicious and he sometimes spaces out during classes. He has a best friend named Kim Yesung and Kyuhyun wondered why the name sounded familiar and this Kim Yesung might look like he got all the muscles in the world but is actually a wimp (and he’s in love with a law student like you, Sungmin gossiped ).
“You sound like you hate this Kim Yesung,” Kyuhyun observed.
“I don’t! I love Yesungie”
“Uh huh…?” Kyuhyun asked curiously.
“Not in the way you’re thinking! I love him because he’s my friend not because he’s… wait… do you have reservations about liking another man?” Sungmin had asked and Kyuhyun decided it’s about time to end the conversation because the topic somehow jumped from Sungmin’s biography to Kyuhyun’s sexual preferences.
When Sungmin started to take out his wallet and pay, Kyuhyun searched for his own wallet and insisted that he be the one to pay the bill.
So when they separated that night and Sungmin had waved and said “It was great talking to you Kyu!” Kyuhyun touched his pockets and groaned, wondering why a self-proclaimed cheapskate like him paid for another’s meal that impulsively. And then he remembers the book in his hands and things got a little bit clearer.
Well…that is until he arrived in his own dormitory and Kim Ryeowook fired unending questions at him. Why is your hand bandaged? Why did you arrive only now? Who were you with? And things like that.
“Ryeowook… shut up.” Kyuhyun said. “And my hand is hurt because I punched a goddamn locker,” he added miserably.
Ryeowook looked thoughtful for a second before he gasped and said “Eh! You fight with lockers now? I thought you’re only limited to fighting with people.” Kyuhyun cursed his fate for being roommates with Ryeowook (and he really wondered why Ryeowook is a law student too) and threw a thick Rules of Court book towards his roommate.
“Hey!” Ryeowook protested and threw back the little book. It landed in front of Kyuhyun’s feet and as he picked it up and read the title, a little grin appeared on his face.
“What we follow now is Rules IN Court, if you know what I mean,” his own words repeated itself in Kyuhyun’s mind.
“Waah~” Ryeowook exclaimed, looking at him. “You’re smiling and it scares me.”
Kyuhyun looked at his roommate and asked “If I treated you to a ramyun dinner, will you be scared too?”
Ryeowook’s mouth opened and closed and when he finally spoke, all he said was “Get away from me you impostor! Where’s the real Kyuhyun?!”
And that’s probably the start of the doomsday of his life.
The next day, Kyuhyun found out the books had been returned promptly and he could borrow books again. The day after, Kyuhyun needed the Legal Medicine book once again and as he sauntered over to the shelf that holds it, he found another person browsing through it and thought for a moment that it might be Sungmin but it turned out to be another law student. The slight disappointment that coursed through him should have alarmed Kyuhyun, but it did not, really, it did not. The day after that day, a professor asked him for a favor to hand over something to the professor in the College of Medicine and as he walks through the hallways, he half expected to see Sungmin there but he didn’t. And the disappointment once again did not alarm him.
A week or two passed, more quizzes, more recitations, Kyuhyun got absorbed in trying to be a lawyer that he actually forgot he ever met Lee Sungmin. Until one afternoon, before his last class ended, the professor announced that the annual Legal Aide Clinic to be sponsored by the College of Law during the School festival would be held the week after. Kyuhyun was teamed up with Ryeowook and three others for the morning duty.
“Why do I get to be teamed up with you~” Kyuhyun whined and Ryeowook sat comfortably in one of the chairs inside their Legal Aide booth, tapped his pen on the table nonchalantly and waited for anyone to seek his oh so awesome legal advice.
Someone actually came and Kyuhyun found out he actually held his breath when Lee Sungmin entered, all smiles, followed by a man Kyuhyun remembered as the weirdo and followed yet again by Sungmin’s annoying roommate, Kim Heechul.
“Ah~ Yesung-ah~” Ryeowook said and flashed the other a huge grin.
“You know this weird person?” Kyuhyun asked his roommate.
“Who?” Ryeowook and Yesung asked together, shooting curious glances at Kyuhyun. “Ah! Oh Yesungie?” Ryeowook finally understood and grinned as he answered mysteriously “Oh yes~ I know him.”
“Hey Kyu… it’s been quite a while, huh?” Sungmin greeted him. Kyuhyun nodded, gave him an acknowledging smile and ignored the morbidly curious stare Ryeowook gave him while mouthing “Kyu?”
Kyuhyun cleared his throat “So uhh… what can we do for you?” he asked.
Sungmin pointed to the annoying roommate. “Heechul-hyung lost his driver’s license. He thought maybe he could ask you to draft an Affidavit of Loss for him so he doesn’t have to go through the trouble of seeing a Notary Public.”
Kyuhyun shot a wicked grin at Sungmin’s roommate. “And I figure Heechul-hyung couldn’t speak for himself so he allows his roommate to speak for him?” he taunted and thought “haha! Bitch. This is payback”.
Heechul looked like a bomb that’s about to explode. “Speaking is a matter of preference for me,” he defended. “Look, if you have time to nag about speaking, maybe you have the time to do that Affidavit of Loss so I don’t have to waste my time listening to you!”
“Are you fighting?” Ryeowook asked stupidly and Kyuhyun rolled his eyes at him.
“Oh no. We’re old friends. This is how we catch up with each other,” Kyuhyun sarcastically said and asked Ryeowook to type an Affidavit of Loss in his laptop (“you do know how to write an Affidavit of Loss, don’t you?” Kyuhyun glared) and proceeded to interview Heechul for the specific details.
“Are you married or single?” Kyuhyun asked.
“Depends on why you want to know,” Heechul said, Sungmin stared at him, Yesung looks like he wanted to die and Kyuhyun looks like he wanted Heechul to die.
Kyuhyun was about to make a witty comeback when Ryeowook’s typing skills caught his attention. “My God Ryeowook! Your typing is so freaking Biblical,” Kyuhyun commented and usurped Ryeowook’s position as being the typist.
“Biblical?” Sungmin asked, confused.
“Yeah. Seek and you shall find” Kyuhyun said, imitating Ryeowook’s finger per finger typing, searching for the letters.
Sungmin gave a cute little chuckle and said “Oh. Such a witty remark, Kyunnie,” and Kyuhyun had to mentally slap himself for thinking that it was cute instead of retarded.
After a few agonizing minutes of bearing with Heechul’s intense murderous stare, Ryeowook and Yesung’s flirting and Sungmin’s idiotically blank face, Kyuhyun finished drafting the Affidavit of Loss, told his groupmate to call for their lawyer-professor who was busy flirting with younger girls, shoved the Affidavit of Loss to his professor who in turn notarized it and gave it to Heechul.
“There. Anything more?” Kyuhyun asked.
Heechul shook his head, muttered something about bitchy law students and left.
“Uhmm… hey! Want another ramyun adventure?” Sungmin asked Kyuhyun in a disturbingly sweet voice and Kyuhyun had no will to turn it down. He forced himself to ignore the surprised “Oh” that Ryeowook mouthed to him and focused on regaining his brain cells to understand this sudden weakness in front of Sungmin.
-----------------------
As Kyuhyun sat in front of Sungmin in the same ramyun shop, his cellphone vibrated and just so he could distract himself from feeling all irrationally nervous, he checked the message and plotted to poison Ryeowook’s milk that night.
“Ho! Ho! Enjoying the date? I never knew you liked guys, Kyuhyun-ah” Ryeowook’s message said.
“Die!” Kyuhyun hissed at his cellphone, causing Sungmin to look curiously at him. He shook his head and furiously started typing a reply.
“I suggest you don’t drink your milk tonight. You might never wake up tomorrow,” Kyuhyun replied, pressing his phone’s keypad murderously.
Kyuhyun pressed the ‘send’ button, completely oblivious that the food has arrived and Sungmin started eating.
“Ooohh~ I’m scared. Enjoy your date. Yesung said Sungmin-sshi likes the ocean. You might want to learn more about the Pacific Ocean. Mwahahaha,” Ryeowook continued his teasing and Kyuhyun really wanted to murder him. So bad.
“Die you idiot!” Kyuhyun continued hissing at his phone, as if Ryeowook could actually feel the curse if he did that.
“Kyu? Kyuhyun-sshi? Kyunnie?”
“WHAT!” Kyuhyun snarled and felt guilty when Sungmin pouted. “Uhh…I mean… HA?!” he gave a start when Sungmin held out a chopsticks-full of ramyun towards him. “What the hell are you doing?”
“Feeding you,” Sungmin said, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “You’re so skinny and for the last ten minutes, you’ve been busy with your cellphone. Maybe you do the same with all your law classes? So you need to eat more. Don’t neglect it.”
Kyuhyun looked scandalized. “I can eat by myself,” he said and Sungmin pouted and Kyuhyun just had to open his mouth and accept the ramyun, his brain crowing “cheesy~!” at him.
“I’m not really a big eater,” Kyuhyun reasons.
“But it doesn’t mean you have to neglect food. There are a lot of people who can barely eat and…” Sungmin took a look a Kyuhyun’s untouched ramyun. “And look! You’re ignoring the ramyun. There are people who’ll die for a bowl of ramyun, you know.”
“Will they be satisfied and full if I eat my ramyun?” Kyuhyun asked sarcastically. Sungmin looked hurt and ate in silence for the next minute. “I mean… I don’t really like ramyun that much,” he reasons and if possible, Sungmin looked more hurt. “But I do love chocolates! Do you know that a research in France revealed that chocolate actually stimulates the brain neurons and helps you digest information accurately?” he ended up blabbering and Sungmin looked as if he’s hearing the most amazing story in the world.
“Ah… really?” Sungmin asked, eyes wide and beaming, lips formed an amazed ‘O’ before it curved up into an amazing smile and Kyuhyun could swear over everyone’s body that he sort of fell in love right then and there.
---------------------------
After that day, Kyuhyun would find chocolates in front of their dorm room every morning when he opens the door. Sometimes they come with a note that says “Hope this helps with the studying” and sometimes they were simply wrapped hastily.
Ryeowook teased him mercilessly each time Kyuhyun re-enters the room with a bunch of chocolates in hand. Sometimes he eats them, sometimes he stores them in his precious box and hides them away from Ryeowook. And then when Ryeowook could not find the chocolate one day, he did his revenge by gossiping to their classmates that Kyuhyun receives chocolates everyday from the cute Medicine student and that he’s betting they’ll get together in no time.
What made the situation even worse was Sungmin waiting for him outside their room every afternoon, asking if Kyuhyun wanted to eat some ramyun, take a walk in the park, visit the College of Medicine laboratory (“I bet you looking at the cadavers is exciting!”) or simply sit in the library and study.
And so this I-bet-you-Kyuhyun-will-get-laid-by-the-Medicine-guy-in-a-month bet was born and Kyuhyun had plotted the death of each and every participant, with Ryeowook the first in line. His roommate has been apologetic but could not do anything to stop their classmates.
“They have a right, you know!” he reasons and Kyuhyun wanted nothing more than to strangle him. So his classmates, being the boring people that they were, suddenly took interest in his love story.
Kyuhyun knew he should have stopped with this vague thing with Sungmin the first time Sungmin asked if he wanted to go to the ocean with him on a lazy weekend. But being the weakened fool that he is in front of the guy, Kyuhyun agreed and they found themselves chartering a boat before sunrise that Sunday morning and heading out to sea.
Kyuhyun hated the sea but since Sungmin loved the sea, he wanted to love it too but some things are really, really easier said than done. As soon as the waves rocked the boat, Kyuhyun was out of action. The world was spinning around him and he had this disturbing urge to throw up. Seasickness.
“Hey, I’m really sorry, I didn’t know,” Sungmin apologized, rubbing Kyuhyun’s back when indeed, he started throwing up. “Maybe we should head back?”
Kyuhyun shook his head. “No. Go, enjoy the sea breeze. Don’t mind me.” He said and leaned back on the side of the boat, cursing whoever is responsible for his misery.
To distract him from his seasickness, Sungmin started telling stories about himself. And Kyuhyun found out that Sungmin had never been in love before. He was a no-girlfriend/boyfriend-since-birth person and when Kyuhyun said he’s the same, the other man gave him a knowing grin. Sungmin loves how the sea looks when the sunrises. Sungmin’s dream is to cross the Pacific Ocean in one day. Sungmin once saw a man shoving his face inside a bucket to create a mold of his head (and Kyuhyun remembers his Legal Medicine lessons). Sungmin is a very patient guy. Sungmin loves to make friends.
And Sungmin loves Kyuhyun. Like crazy.
“Huh?” Kyuhyun asked stupidly, the dizziness suddenly forgotten. Sungmin nodded with hopeful eyes and Kyuhyun suddenly remembers the stupid bet that Ryeowook started. It was probably retarded but the more he wanted to say that he is in love with Sungmin too, the more that he wanted to prove that he won’t get laid that easily and that the stupid bet was nothing but an idiocy.
And so, as clichéd at it could be (and probably as stupid) he said “Let me think about it” and quickly regretted it.
That morning, as the sun gloriously winked hello at the world, they returned to shore, back to the dorms and Kyuhyun felt that his heart was actually left in the sea that Sungmin loved so much.
----------------------------
Because Cho Kyuhyun believes that a man should be true to his words, he avoided Sungmin the week that followed that incident and he honestly really did think about how to answer him. Well, even if he really did not want to think about it, there’s no helping it.
He still receives chocolates propped against his door every morning and they still come with silly little messages. Sungmin still waits for him every afternoon after his classes but Kyuhyun always tries to make excuses like an exam the next day or a Practice Court briefing. Sometimes though he intentionally gets lost in the College of Medicine building, snoop around until he finds the Sungmin’s classroom and peeks at him from the small glass on the door and when he’s satisfied, he would leave without even saying a hello.
“My God, how much more masochist could you get?” Ryeowook kept on nagging him. “You love Sungmin-sshi, Sungmin-sshi loves you… so what’s keeping you from saying that to him? If it’s the bet, that’s stupid.”
Kyuhyun stared at him. “What’s keeping me from admitting that to him? It’s something called real life”.
“Duh! And what’s Sungmin-sshi? Your alternate reality life?” Ryeowook sighed.
“I just… you know… love is not that easy for me. It’s like this Logic course we had back when we were in the pre-law course, you know. You need to have the proper analytical mind before you can pass the course. I need my proper reasoning skills before diving into this love business.”
Ryeowook stared at him like he’s the world’s biggest idiot and patted him on the back. “I’ve always really thought you’re an intelligent person, Kyuhyun. But really… love is like this difficult and long quiz in Criminal Law. You do not have the time to think about it, just go ahead and answer and you can only hope that you’re writing the right answers. Got me?”
“I don’t.”
“Oh for goodness’ sake! Just go ahead and tell him! Sungmin-sshi is entitled to due process, you know. You can’t just leave him hanging in the air without due notice and hearing.”
“Ugh! You make the worst comparisons ever, did you notice?” Kyuhyun asked, refusing to admit that Ryeowook almost had him convinced.
“You can’t think about everything in an analytical way, Kyuhyun. Sometimes… you know, sometimes… we lose the ones that are most important to us when we over-analyze things… do you really want to lose Sungmin-sshi?
---------------------
Apparently, Ryeowook is not the only one worrying over the outcome of their love story. One weekend before the final exams, Yesung and Heechul appeared on Kyuhyun’s doorstep and Heechul shoved Kyuhyun against a wall the moment he opened the door.
“The fuck?!” Kyuhyun cursed, trying to wriggle free of the other’s grasp.
“Are you really a moron or are you just a sadist who enjoys watching someone else suffer?” Heechul roughly asked as Yesung tried to calm him down.
“What?”
“Don’t ‘what’ me. You know what I’m talking about! Sungmin is suffering because of you, asshole!” Heechul spat, ignoring Yesung’s pleas of keeping things diplomatic.
And because Kyuhyun is as snarky as Heechul, he just couldn’t stay still while this man insults him (and sprays saliva on his face). “Well if you’re so concerned about him, why don’t you just get into a relationship with him!” he challenged.
Yesung and Heechul looked scandalized and when Yesung spoke, Kyuhyun could feel his heart break into a thousand pieces. “Even if Heechul-hyung wants to, he can’t. You know why? Because Sungmin wants you. He wants only you.”
And Kyuhyun realized he’d been a jerk all along.
---------------------------------
So, hours later, he stood in front of Sungmin and Heechul’s dorm room, hands in his pockets, heart out in his sleeves. He mustered all the courage he could get to knock on the door and when it finally opened and revealed a wrecked-looking Sungmin, Kyuhyun knew he should have come earlier.
“I’m so - “ he started to say but Sungmin shushed him.
“You have the right to remain silent,” Sungmin said.
“What the - “
“Anything you say can be and will be used against you.”
“Ha?”
“You can hire a lawyer but if you have no lawyer… hell, what am I saying?”
Kyuhyun huffed and pinched the idiot’s cheeks. “Don’t even try reciting the Miranda Doctrine if you don’t know the exact words.” He said adoringly and Sungmin beamed at him.
“I pored over tons and tons of law books just to tell you that.” Sungmin said.
“I know.”
“Look, I even tried to look up this due process thing that Ryeowook-sshi mentioned to me. He says I should assert my Constitutional right to due notice and hearing, whatever that means.”
“I know.”
“And look… I even bought you a new Legal Medicine book so if you ever need it again…”
“I know.”
“Say something else other than I know!”
“You said everything I say will be and can be used against me.”
“Kyuhyun~!” Sungmin whined and Kyuhyun laughed.
“I love you too, Lee Sungmin.” Kyuhyun finally admitted and when Sungmin’s face broke into that heavenly grin, he knew he said the right words.
“What took you long enough to say that?”
“Oh you know… I have this Constitutional right against unlawful arrest.”
“What the fuck does that have to do with us?” Sungmin demanded, frowning at him.
“You can’t capture me unless you have valid warrant of arrest. But apparently, something called The court of Kyuhyun’s Heart decided that I was caught in flagrante delicto so you don’t need a warrant of arrest. You captured me way before you said ‘I love you…’”.
“Kyuhyun…?”
“Hmm…?
“Shut up. You say the cheesiest pickup lines ever.”
Kyuhyun laughed and wanted to say more but when Sungmin grabbed him and pressed their lips together, he knew a judgment had already been rendered even before a case was filed.
Hell, Sungmin could even drag him to bed at that very moment and Kyuhyun would not complain of sexual assault. Why? Because Kyuhyun lost all his logic when he fell in love with Sungmin.
“You think we’ll be mortal enemies when I become a doctor and you become a lawyer?” Sungmin asked.
Kyuhyun shrugged. “The worst of enemies are the best of lovers, they say. Now are you going to shut up and continue kissing me or do you want me to do it the forceful way?”
END.
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1. What? I am entitled to write random, plotless fics once in a while, right? Hahaha!
2. MAJOR EDIT (how the hell did that even happen?): OKAY! Actually, I wrote this years ago when I’m still VERY VERY ACTIVE IN WRITING FOR the Arashi fandom. hahaha
3. Definition of terms time!
Legal Medicine - is a branch of law that mainly deals with forensic evidence.
Rules of Court - is a bunch of rules to facilitate how a case should be filed in courts and things like that.
Rules IN Court - the not-so-legal way of doing things.
Due Process - the right of every person to be notified that a case was filed against him and to be given a chance to defend himself.
Miranda Doctrine - you heart that in series and movies. It’s the famous line police people actually say to a person who is caught doing a crime.
In Flagrante Delicto - it somewhat means ‘caught in the act of doing a crime’ you don’t need a warrant of arrest to arrest a person.
Warrant of Arrest - needed before someone can be lawfully arrested.
4. Nica is still the queen of bad grammar.
5. WOOOHOO~
6. The court of Kyuhyun's heart. BLAME MY FREAKING CRAZY PROFESSOR BACK IN LAW SCHOOL FOR THAT LINE AND BLAME ME FOR PUTTING IT HERE. GDI. OMG.