[Mini-Series] Once {1/2}
THIS WAS DONE BECAUSE OF ALL THE NAGGING akirin DID!!!! akirin and crazy wind_drifter , you two are at fault too! *SMACKS YOU BOTH* NO MORE FIC MODIFICATION AFTER THIS! Huhuhuhu. *hides and never comes back*
Once
…For the struggles of my life…
Of the dangers, toils and snares
Of my childhood hymns…
Loyalty and love are the best things of all
And surely the most lasting…
-My Dog Skip
“How many times can a person fall in love?”
Kim Ryeowook raised his gaze from his shoes to the man walking beside him. Cho Kyuhyun is looking forward, his gaze transferring from one passing couple to another, his backpack slung on one shoulder and his steps evenly matched with Ryeowook’s.
“What?” Ryeowook asked, needing to hear the question a second time before he could fully come up with a logical answer. The fading golden rays of the sun chase them as they walk, creating lengthy shadows that disappear when they step on shaded grounds.
Kyuhyun grinned - wide and inviting - as he points to another couple holding hands in front of them.
“How many times can a person fall in love?” He repeated, his grin widening as Ryeowook’s thoughtful yet irritated face greeted him once again. How many times had Kyuhyun asked that very same question throughout the years, anyway? It’s amusing because every time he does, Ryeowook would give him the same expression and Kyuhyun would always eagerly wait for an answer that never really comes.
“Once if you’re an idiot, twice if you’re lucky, countless times if you’re meant to be forever alone,” Ryeowook answered without much conviction, yawning even before he finished his sentence. Kyuhyun blinked at him once, surprised that he actually got an answer. “What?”
Kyuhyun shook his head.
“That was the first time you answered that question,” he observed as he smiles at his friend. Shrugging while grinning, he said, “I must be an idiot then.”
Ryeowook paused in his steps for a brief second, falling behind a little.
“You’re in love?” He asked, sounding a little interested. Kyuhyun didn’t answer and instead he gave Ryeowook a laugh and the other made an annoyed sound, wanting to smack the taller man for being a tease. Kyuhyun had always been a tease although he probably doesn’t even know he is. Ryeowook had known him for almost fifteen years, been together with him for the most parts of those fifteen years and yet he still hasn’t really figured out how to coax a logical answer from the man he calls best friend.
“Idiot,” Ryeowook commented when Kyuhyun choked on air and coughed a little while laughing.
They were walking home together, the way they usually do, tired from work and too lazy to have a mid-week leisure session. It’s always been something close to being a routine for the both of them and it comes as natural as breathing. Right after work, when the last job seeker finally leaves the agency, Kyuhyun would wait for Ryeowook to finish whatever post-work routine he has and they would go home together, travelling the same road, walking on the same path, passing by the same scenery. Sometimes when Kyuhyun gets caught up with something right after work, Ryeowook would be the one waiting, spouting complaints and whining only to be shushed by Kyuhyun’s laughter. In the end they would still go home together, oftentimes squabbling, sometimes simply staying silent and on rare occasions like this one, talking about something as serious as falling in love.
“I am,” Kyuhyun said.
“What?”
“An idiot,” the taller man cleared. “You said if you’re an idiot, you’ll only fall in love once. Then in that sense, maybe I am an idiot.”
Ryeowook almost rolled his eyes, noticing how closer their shadows are moving towards each other. Sometimes, on those rare times when he and Kyuhyun walk in silence, Ryeowook would stare at their shadow and he would bite back the urge to poke Kyuhyun and point out how their shadows seem to dissolve from being two to only being one.
“Well you are an idiot even without my statement,” Ryeowook insulted without malice, laughing a little.
“Oi,” Kyuhyun complained, laughing along with Ryeowook. “Well… you are an idiot, too,” he said and ducked when Ryeowook reached up to smack him.
“I’m not in love,” Ryeowook said.
“I am,” Kyuhyun interrupted him. “Always have been,” he said quietly, giving something that strangely looks like a wink towards his best friend’s way and Ryeowook was too caught up in rolling his eyes to notice the attempt on his friend’s part. “You’re an idiot for not noticing,” Kyuhyun smiled at him, walking ahead of Ryeowook as they reach his own apartment unit, one house away from where Ryeowook lives.
“Whatever,” Ryeowook said, walking past Kyuhyun towards his own apartment, looking forward to a relaxing night with his movies.
“See you tomorrow?” Kyuhyun asked, his voice hopeful as he waits for a reply.
“Mhmmm. Tomorrow,” Ryeowook said, sneezing a little and giving Kyuhyun a small wave before he walked away, leaving the other staring at him with a lingering gaze.
“Tomorrow,” Kyuhyun whispered to himself. “Maybe tomorrow,” he said and closed his door, already looking forward to another day to spend with Ryeowook.
How many times does he need to ask the same question? How long does he need to wait? How many more sunset walks do they need to share together and how many more years does he need to spend hiding behind the sweet pretenses of friendship? There were really no answers and people who are willing to wait don’t really need one. Sometimes all you need is a reassurance that there’ll be one more day for you to confess your feelings and there’ll be one more day to gather up your courage and say those three words that spawn a lifetime of change. Sometimes all you need is one more day and one more chance and though that one more day and that one more chance may come several years late, good things still come to those who knows how to wait. Because while falling in love requires no timing, confessing such love needs all the proper feelings and all the proper moments to make it as sweet as the first day you’ve felt it.
“Tomorrow,” Kyuhyun said to himself. “Really. Tomorrow.”
-----------------------------
There was an earthquake when they first met close to fifteen years ago. It wasn’t a bad one and neither was it overly memorable to most people but it’s a memory that Ryeowook and Kyuhyun privately shared. They were thirteen, bordering between adolescence and childhood. They thought they were already too big for the world and they tried hard to act like adults. It’s funny, really, how children force themselves to grow old and think hard in those supposedly innocent childhood days yet when adulthood fully comes and smack them across the face, all they wish for is to be able to be as carefree as a child again. Perhaps it’s truly the irony of living - to want something you used to have and to throw away something you thought you’d never need.
There was a local park in their old neighborhood, full of swings and seesaws and slides with green, red and yellow paint. Kyuhyun had been thrown off the swing when the earthquake happened and he injured both his knees. Ryeowook stood in front of him, eating ice cream that’s starting to melt.
“Does it hurt?” Ryeowook asked.
“Yes,” Kyuhyun answered as if they’d known each other for years. How is it that when you’re a child, there never seems to be a wall dividing you from others? How is it that when you’re in that stage of not being totally innocent yet still not mature either, it’s easier to approach even a stranger and converse about the everyday mundane things you both experience? Kyuhyun doesn’t even know Ryeowook’s name at that time and neither has Ryeowook known his but they were able to converse about wounds and idiocy the way normal people would.
“Were you scared of the earthquake?” Ryeowook asked, licking his ice cream.
Kyuhyun shook his head.
“No, I’m not a sissy,” he defended.
“Ahh… you must be an idiot, then,” Ryeowook sharply said and instead of his fist, Kyuhyun offered his smile.
“Don’t call other people idiots,” Kyuhyun chided. He stood up, ignoring the slight bleeding of his knees. “I’m Cho Kyuhyun,” he introduced himself, the way his mother taught him. He was still slightly shorter than Ryeowook back then and the other stared at him with skepticism that will always be a trademark of his personality.
“Kim Ryeowook.”
Kyuhyun shrugged and grinned, thrilled by the prospect of gaining a new friend. The moment Ryeowook shrugged back, they were suddenly thrown into this whole new level of relationship and Ryeowook is suddenly one less nameless face in the crowd Kyuhyun meets everyday.
It took months of playing together, house visits and petty fights before they were able to fully call each other “friend”. Ryeowook liked games and magic while Kyuhyun played with dogs and cats and practically any kind of animal he can lay his eyes on. Sometimes they would fight when Ryeowook spouts tactless words or when Kyuhyun forgets something that’s supposed to be important but it did not hinder the fact that a year after they first met, Kyuhyun had started to call Ryeowook his best friend. Ryeowook never agreed or disagreed and Kyuhyun counted that as a mutual feeling between them. After all, in an age when your wants and caprices could change in the snap of a finger, only those important to you will gain your utmost loyalty and endearing company.
Perhaps that’s why some of the most special people in our lives are the ones we met in childhood. They’re the ones you meet in innocence without thoughts of benefits or losses; they’re the people you grow up with, you mature with, you fight with, you laugh and you cry with. They’re the ones who, without really realizing it, have seen you at your best and at your worst and still consider you to be as equally important to them as they are to you. In the end, when the fire of friendship still burns as strong as ever in spite of the years you spent together, these very same people are the ones who always come to be as precious as your family… or, in some “un-surprising” moments… as precious as a lover.
“How many times can a person fall in love?” Kyuhyun asked when they were already in high school and he’s grown taller than Ryeowook without them realizing it.
“Do you think our math teacher will come today?” Ryeowook asked back, ignoring Kyuhyun’s question. He was bent over his desk, drawing stick figures of their giggling girl classmates in one corner. Kyuhyun sat beside him, his head supported by his right hand as he stares at Ryeowook.
“Who knows? Why? You didn’t do the homework?” Kyuhyun asked, grinning with arrogance.
“Idiot,” Ryeowook said. “I’ll just copy from you.”
“My answers might be wrong.”
“Then I’ll change the answer if I think it’s wrong,” Ryeowook said and when he looked up and met Kyuhyun’s gaze, he gave him a small smirk. “And no, I am not going to tell you if your answer is wrong.”
“Then that’s not copying at all. It’s more like using me for your own advantage,” Kyuhyun complained without really meaning what he says.
Ryeowook grinned evilly.
“Oh you’ve noticed?” He teased and Kyuhyun was about to answer when Ryeowook noticed a girl standing by the doorway, gazing towards their direction. “She’s been looking at you since yesterday, I think.”
“Who?” Kyuhyun asked, following the direction of Ryeowook’s gaze. “Minji? Why would she?” He turned back to Ryeowook and found his friend grinning from ear to ear.
“I think she likes you,” Ryeowook teased, eyebrows moving up and down. He leaned back on his chair and placed both arms behind his head. “I bet she’ll talk to you one of these days and ask if you want to watch the latest movie they’re showing in the cinemas. If she doesn’t do that, I’ll pay you a thousand Won.”
“Cheapskate,” Kyuhyun said, blushing a little at the teasing. “If she really doesn’t do that, you’ll be poorer by a thousand Won,” he continued, taking Ryeowook’s bet seriously.
Ryeowook grinned.
“And if she does that, you’ll buy me an eighteen inch pizza,” he declared.
“Says who?!”
“Says me.”
“Why the price difference? Do you know how much that costs?” Kyuhyun asked, his hands suddenly flailing on both sides as he speaks.
“Well your family is rich,” Ryeowook reasoned, earning a confused frown from Kyuhyun. “And you’re rich,” he supplemented, earning a raised eyebrow from his friend. He grinned and made a pose. “And you love me,” he said and to that… Kyuhyun has no answer. He simply blushed, licked his lips and turned away from Ryeowook to hide the deep crimson spreading across his face.
“Idiot,” Ryeowook commented and Kyuhyun didn’t really mind. Ryeowook has taken to calling him idiot years ago and Kyuhyun knew he meant it the loving way - the way people who can read each other’s minds mean it. It might seem totally negative for some stranger listening in on their conversation but hell, Kyuhyun has seen all the more negative things about Ryeowook and still that did not change the fact that Ryeowook… imperfect as he is… brutal as he is… has gained Kyuhyun’s admiration.
And love.
Love - the kind that blooms in the heart and warms the soul; the kind that sends tingles and romantic giggles to anyone who’s brave enough to give it a chance; the kind that changes ordinary relationships and turn it into precious things that live forever in the heart. The kind that makes people more beautiful; the kind that makes memories grow fonder and the kind that exists when the thin wall between people that friendship failed to break down actually breaks down and people become comfortable with each other on a whole new level…
The kind that makes Ryeowook more precious than a friend.
“You’re a bigger idiot,” Kyuhyun muttered, burying his face on his crossed arm on the table, hiding his grinning face from Ryeowook.
Ryeowook simply grunted and continued with his drawing while staring at the pale morning outside the window.
--------------------------------
Choi Minji turned out to be the very first person who confessed her feelings to Kyuhyun. She did it a week after Kyuhyun’s conversation with Ryeowook on a lazy afternoon right after the last bell rang for the day and Kyuhyun and Ryeowook were walking together, talking about ramen and baseball.
Ryeowook had grinned when she walked up to them and asked for a private conversation with Kyuhyun. Kyuhyun had stared at Ryeowook, hoping to see any trace of bitterness or jealousy on the other’s face and for a brief moment, he thought he saw it. Right after Ryeowook patted him on the back and whispered “I told you she likes you”, Kyuhyun thought he saw a tiny frown and a small smirk on the other’s face yet it immediately disappeared the moment he blinked.
“I’ll be…,” Ryeowook said, motioning with his thumb. “…just you know… checking out the new pizza flavors they have on display,” he said triumphantly. Kyuhyun had watched him as he walks with the pale sunshine on his back and he fought back the urge to pull him back and scream how much he wanted he hear Ryeowook’s confession instead.
Minji likes him for being funny, Kyuhyun learned. She likes him for laughing at the simplest things and she likes him because he’s a walking ball of sunshine. He’s an idiot too and Minji enjoyed that. Kyuhyun helped her pick her books up when she tripped on the stairs and she thought he’s nice. Kyuhyun appreciates it and he told her how much he’s flattered by her confession but he couldn’t tell her that all the while, as she was confessing, Kyuhyun had been imagining Ryeowook instead.
“So are you dating her now?” Ryeowook asked over the phone that evening when Kyuhyun reported to him. “She’s smaller than you and you can drape your arms around her and it’ll fit perfectly,” he teased.
Kyuhyun had laughed - calm and contagious.
“I’d like to drape it around your shoulders instead,” he said without thinking and he was suddenly nervous at the vacant pause that met his statement.
“Stupid,” Ryeowook said and Kyuhyun thought he heard a slight trace of breathlessness on the other’s voice. “You’re disgusting. Your stupid perfume will be rubbed all over me and I don’t want that.”
Kyuhyun laughed once again, the pounding in his heart tripling. Did he just make an indirect confession? Is Ryeowook quick enough to decipher it?
“Ryeowook…”
“Kyuhyun…,” Ryeowook said at the same time that Kyuhyun spoke. Pausing for a few seconds, he didn’t wait for Kyuhyun to continue with his sentence. “Give her a chance. One or two days,” he said seriously.
“Why?”
Ryeowook breathed.
“Because I like it when other people like you too,” he said and Kyuhyun smiled. Too. He likes it when other people like Kyuhyun too and Kyuhyun’s heart did those little flip-flops it usually does when Ryeowook says nice things every now and then.
“Ryeowook?”
“Hmmm?”
Kyuhyun stayed silent for a while, his eyes smiling fondly at the memories appearing one by one in his mind.
“Nevermind. Let’s sleep,” he said and ended the call with a wish that tomorrow will be as sweet as it had been that day.
----------------------------------
Exactly as Ryeowook had said, Kyuhyun gave Choi Minji a chance. For a few days, he said he’ll try to be with her and he’ll think about her feelings. Minji isn’t a demanding girl and she told Kyuhyun that it’s fine to just stay together while he’s thinking. She smiles a lot and she talks about things that Kyuhyun likes to talk about. They were on the same wavelength, Kyuhyun thought. She understands him and she never tells him he’s an idiot when he makes simple mistakes. She never hits him on the head and she never copies his homework only to modify it later. She’s never moody, she’s never mad, she’s never whiny… and she’ll never be Ryeowook and though she never told Kyuhyun, Minji knew that anyone who’s not Ryeowook will never capture Kyuhyun’s heart.
“I’ll keep it a secret,” Minji said a week later as they gather daffodils for a stage play.
“Hmmm?” Kyuhyun asked, thinking of ways to tell her how they’ll never work out.
Minji rubbed her hands together to remove the dirt that stuck to it while they gather wild grasses.
“Oh you know,” she said, grinning. “How you like your best friend. I’ll keep it a secret.”
It took Kyuhyun more than a minute to actually understand what she’s saying and when he did, he blinked and blinked, opening and closing his mouth, wondering how someone who never really knows him can decipher his innermost feelings.
“It’s obvious,” Minji said. “Well… maybe it’s not… because if it’s really obvious he would have known it by now, right?” She shrugged. “My friend and I have this theory that love is the most difficult thing to actually decipher. Coz if it’s easy, then you would have already noticed how I always choose a seat next to you when I can… or how I volunteer to do the work when I know you’ll be there… things like that.”
“Minji…”
“…and you know, if it’s really easy to decipher… maybe Ryeowook would have already noticed how you’re a tiny bit happier when you’re talking to him… or how you always laugh even he’s saying something serious…you like the tough kind of love, huh?”
Kyuhyun grinned, looking down.
“It’s not like I can help it, either. Maybe… just like your theory… deciphering why you actually fell in love with someone is one of the most difficult things in the world. Or maybe… it’s something not meant to be deciphered after all.”
“Because it’s easier if you do not understand,” Minji supplemented and they laughed together. They really work on the same wavelength. But sometimes, in spite of the existence of someone so ideal and so perfect, people still choose those imperfect ones who make each moment a tiny bit more precious. Love does not really work in the rational parts of the heart and the brain. It works in those little corners kept hidden even to your own self. That’s why logic and love do not really go together because love, once tainted by explanations and unnecessary reasons will always lose its beauty.
------------------------------------
“You missed my table tennis game, you idiot. And I was even awesome.” Ryeowook’s note on Kyuhyun’s table says.
“Ah!” Kyuhyun exclaimed to himself. He totally lost track of the time conversing with Minji about feelings and Ryeowook. “He’s going to kill me,” he thought to himself, grabbing his bag and heading towards the gymnasium. There were a few people cleaning the floors but Ryeowook wasn’t in sight. It’s understandable because Kyuhyun knows he really hates physical labors like cleaning.
He found him on the rooftop, his feet dangling on the edge and he’s eating a burger he probably purchased somewhere. The soft breeze ruffling his hair is playful and refreshing and as Kyuhyun looks at him, Ryeowook seemed like a child, enjoying a private time on his own.
“Ahhh… I’m hungry,” Kyuhyun said, announcing his presence. Ryeowook turned to him and threw him a dirty look.
“You can’t have my burger,” Ryeowook said possessively and Kyuhyun laughed. How he laughed. He spent so little time with Ryeowook the past week and the fact that he missed his friend slapped him right on the face at that moment.
“If that’s fried chicken, I would’ve stolen it from you already. Burger is not my thing,” Kyuhyun said, sitting beside Ryeowook, their feet dangling on the edge of the rooftop. The playful breeze blew from somewhere, offering a refreshing atmosphere beneath the mid-afternoon sky.
“Were you really awesome?” Kyuhyun teased.
“Huh?” Ryeowook growled.
“In the table tennis game. Were you really awesome?”
Ryeowook smirked and before long his smirk turned into an arrogant grin.
“Of course. I’m always awesome,” he bragged as he threw the wrapping of his burger down towards the ground below them.
“Oi! That’s littering!” Kyuhyun scolded him.
“Go pick it up if it’s bothering you,” Ryeowook said evilly.
“Pffft.”
There was silence… so comfortable, so weird… so relaxing. They felt the wind on their cheeks and the pale sun tickles their skin.
“Let’s go buy your pizza,” Kyuhyun offered silently and Ryeowook turned to look at him quizzically. After a few seconds, a mix of emotions showed on his face and Kyuhyun couldn’t really decipher which is which.
“So… I won?” Ryeowook said, his voice strangely sounding a little disappointed. “She really confessed and you’re dating her now?”
“Mhmmm… who knows?” Kyuhyun said playfully, briefly enjoying the thought that maybe, in some way, Ryeowook is feeling a little jealous.
“Kyuhyun!”
Kyuhyun laughed at him, slapping Ryeowook a little on the shoulder as his laughter bounced with the wind.
“I’m in love with someone else,” he said after a while, his tone gaining a little seriousness. “I’ve always been in love with someone else.”
Ryeowook stared at him, as if trying to gauge the level of seriousness his friend is displaying.
“With who?” He asked.
Kyuhyun grinned.
“With you,” he said while giggling and when he looked at Ryeowook, the other’s eyebrows were knitted together. “Uhmm…,” Kyuhyun said, his words causing long moments of silence to take over them.
They stared at each other, with Ryeowook frowning and Kyuhyun wide-eyed, like a deer caught in headlights. When the corners of Ryeowook’s mouth twitched to form the beginnings of a smile, Kyuhyun took his cue and they both said: “Eeeeewwww! Like that could ever happen!”
“Idiot!” Ryeowook said and Kyuhyun chose to hide his real feelings behind his crunchy laughter. “Stop saying tactless things.”
“Sorry,” Kyuhyun said, staring into the wide horizon in front of them. “Ryeowook…”
“Hmmm?”
“If I’m really in love with someone, I’ll tell you, okay?” Kyuhyun said. Someday, when he finds the courage to truthfully say he’s in love with his best friend, he’ll tell him. But for now, he’ll be satisfied with this promise. “And if you’re in love with someone too, you’ll tell me.”
“Mhmmm,” Ryeowook agreed. “What exactly is this for?” He asked when Kyuhyun held out his pinky finger towards him and he took it before asking.
“Just.”
“Just what?”
“Just to make sure I’ll be able to tell you when the right time comes,” Kyuhyun said and he refused to say anything more in spite of Ryeowook threatening to break into his room one night and poison his milk.
Maybe he really should’ve told Ryeowook he liked him back then because after that, Kyuhyun totally lost all his courage to ever confess. Maybe he should’ve taken his chances and risked on his opportunities. Chances come once in a blue moon and courage is like an evasive eclipse that happens only several moments in a lifetime. Once you lose it, there’s no telling when you can get it back again.
And Kyuhyun didn’t gain it back even as they step into university grounds.
-------------------------------
They were thought of to be perverted gays in their second year in the university. The rumor broke out after Kyuhyun had used the bathroom without checking if there’s tissue paper to use right after he does his thing. When he pulled the thin roll of tissue paper and all he got was a tiny piece, he knew he’s in trouble.
“I’m never wrong whenever I tell you that you’re an idiot,” Ryeowook had complained over the phone when Kyuhyun called him and asked for some kind of reinforcement.
“How am I supposed to know there’s no tissue paper here?” Kyuhyun complained.
“You can tell just by looking!”
“But I badly needed to go!”
“Whatever, idiot. Which cubicle are you in?” Ryeowook asked, knocking on cubicles as soon as he reached the men’s bathroom.
“Second to the last if you’re looking from the doorway,” Kyuhyun answered and in a heartbeat, Ryeowook was knocking on his cubicle door.
“Hurry and do your thing!” Ryeowook said while pinching his nose. After a while, he heard the toilet flushing and he was about to leave when Kyuhyun called him back. “What now?!”
“My pants’ zipper is broken,” Kyuhyun said, panicking a little.
“What?”
“My zipper is broken!” Kyuhyun repeated, opening his cubicle door and peeking at Ryeowook who was looking at him murderously. “Uhmm…?”
Ryeowook rolled his eyes and pushed open the door.
“Oh for goodness’ sake!” He exclaimed, slapping Kyuhyun’s hand away as he squats in front of his friend, trying to pull the zipper head up.
“It won’t work!” Kyuhyun said, pulling up his pants.
“Shut up and let me do it!”
“I said it won’t work! This is embarrassing.”
“I said shut up and let me do it!” Ryeowook repeated and as he tried to pull the zipper up, the head completely detached from the zipper itself. “Hell…,” he murmured, standing up to stare at Kyuhyun.
“Hell indeed,” someone from the doorway said and when they both looked, two guys from their class were staring at them, looking a little horrified. “Go to a motel or something,” one of them said and Ryeowook face-palmed, so sure that he’s going to live the rest of his university life in hell.
-------------------------------
“But it was fun, wasn’t it?” Kyuhyun asked when the fifteen years worth of memories were now behind them and he still hasn’t been able to confess his feelings. They were now both completely adults with a full working schedule ahead of them.
Ryeowook had been down with a bad flu and he’s been absent from work for two consecutive days already. Kyuhyun had taken to nursing him back to health, drowning him in chicken soup and useless work rumors.
“Mhmm…,” Ryeowook said, reaching up and peeling the fever patch on his head. He wordlessly handed it back to Kyuhyun who was sitting in bed next to him, flipping television channels as he entertains his sick friend with tales from his memories.
“Your fever went down a little,” Kyuhyun said as he feels Ryeowook’s forehead and replaces the fever patch the other had peeled off. “Are you feeling cold?” He asked when he noticed Ryeowook’s slight shivers beneath his blankets.
“A little,” Ryeowook admitted and he gave small surprised yelp when Kyuhyun slid beneath the covers beside him. “What are you doing, idiot?”
“Keeping you warm,” Kyuhyun said, matter-of-factly. In spite of Ryeowook’s protests, he pulled the blanket up and wrapped his arms around Ryeowook’s smaller frame.
“If you get sick too, don’t blame me.”
“I’m not the blaming kind,” Kyuhyun said and grinned when Ryeowook unconsciously let out a small, contended sigh. “It’s better for a friend to keep you warm, isn’t it?”
“Shut up and let me sleep.”
“Right,” Kyuhyun said. His arm around Ryeowook tightened and the other cuddled closer to him, like a drenched puppy seeking warmth. “Hey, Ryeowook…”
“Mhmmm?” Ryeowook answered silently, his words slurred and his voice thick with sleep. Kyuhyun could feel the other’s heartbeats and he momentarily paused, challenging himself on whether he could hear it amidst the silence that now dominates Ryeowook’s room. He couldn’t hear anything but he surely could feel it… rhythmic and sweet like an unknown love song from long ago. He relished that moment for a while, taking pride in being the only one in the world who can feel Ryeowook’s heartbeat at that moment.
His arms instinctively tightened around his friend’s body.
“Ryeowook,” Kyuhyun breathed. “How many times can a person fall in love?” he asked. There was no answer and his question was met by Ryeowook’s evened out breathing. Kyuhyun smiled with fondness, moving closer to Ryeowook so that there was only an inch of a distance between them.
He freed one arm from embracing Ryeowook and he reached out, brushing back the little strands of hair that cover his ears. With the fondness and bittersweet feelings that he felt since the first time he realized he’s in love with his friend, Kyuhyun leaned close and planted a gentle kiss on Ryeowook’s temple.
“Coz you know…,” Kyuhyun continued, answering his own question. “For the fifteen years that we’ve been together… I’ve fallen in love with you countless times than you could imagine. And until now… I still love you the way I’ve loved you since the first time we met. So how many times… how many times can you really fall in love?”
In the thick silence that followed, as Kyuhyun continued to feel Ryeowook’s heart beating against his chest, he imagined it speaking in codes that sort of said: Once. Only once… if it’s with you.
And Kyuhyun smiled. And he laughed… and he hoped.
TBC
-----------------------------
1. I won't listen to naggers anymore. Huhuhu. Seriously... this fic was meant for Aimiya alone but akirin just had to nag and nag and nag and she's kind enough to give Arashi a chance so I had to. I just had to give in to her nagging. T__T
2. Not to mention bluefireflies and wind_drifter were joining in on the nagging. GAAAHH!! *dies*
3. I'm not converting any more fics. 2:2 is an awesome fairness for me already. hahaha
4. I still haven't become an expert in the English language. XDD
Once
…For the struggles of my life…
Of the dangers, toils and snares
Of my childhood hymns…
Loyalty and love are the best things of all
And surely the most lasting…
-My Dog Skip
“How many times can a person fall in love?”
Kim Ryeowook raised his gaze from his shoes to the man walking beside him. Cho Kyuhyun is looking forward, his gaze transferring from one passing couple to another, his backpack slung on one shoulder and his steps evenly matched with Ryeowook’s.
“What?” Ryeowook asked, needing to hear the question a second time before he could fully come up with a logical answer. The fading golden rays of the sun chase them as they walk, creating lengthy shadows that disappear when they step on shaded grounds.
Kyuhyun grinned - wide and inviting - as he points to another couple holding hands in front of them.
“How many times can a person fall in love?” He repeated, his grin widening as Ryeowook’s thoughtful yet irritated face greeted him once again. How many times had Kyuhyun asked that very same question throughout the years, anyway? It’s amusing because every time he does, Ryeowook would give him the same expression and Kyuhyun would always eagerly wait for an answer that never really comes.
“Once if you’re an idiot, twice if you’re lucky, countless times if you’re meant to be forever alone,” Ryeowook answered without much conviction, yawning even before he finished his sentence. Kyuhyun blinked at him once, surprised that he actually got an answer. “What?”
Kyuhyun shook his head.
“That was the first time you answered that question,” he observed as he smiles at his friend. Shrugging while grinning, he said, “I must be an idiot then.”
Ryeowook paused in his steps for a brief second, falling behind a little.
“You’re in love?” He asked, sounding a little interested. Kyuhyun didn’t answer and instead he gave Ryeowook a laugh and the other made an annoyed sound, wanting to smack the taller man for being a tease. Kyuhyun had always been a tease although he probably doesn’t even know he is. Ryeowook had known him for almost fifteen years, been together with him for the most parts of those fifteen years and yet he still hasn’t really figured out how to coax a logical answer from the man he calls best friend.
“Idiot,” Ryeowook commented when Kyuhyun choked on air and coughed a little while laughing.
They were walking home together, the way they usually do, tired from work and too lazy to have a mid-week leisure session. It’s always been something close to being a routine for the both of them and it comes as natural as breathing. Right after work, when the last job seeker finally leaves the agency, Kyuhyun would wait for Ryeowook to finish whatever post-work routine he has and they would go home together, travelling the same road, walking on the same path, passing by the same scenery. Sometimes when Kyuhyun gets caught up with something right after work, Ryeowook would be the one waiting, spouting complaints and whining only to be shushed by Kyuhyun’s laughter. In the end they would still go home together, oftentimes squabbling, sometimes simply staying silent and on rare occasions like this one, talking about something as serious as falling in love.
“I am,” Kyuhyun said.
“What?”
“An idiot,” the taller man cleared. “You said if you’re an idiot, you’ll only fall in love once. Then in that sense, maybe I am an idiot.”
Ryeowook almost rolled his eyes, noticing how closer their shadows are moving towards each other. Sometimes, on those rare times when he and Kyuhyun walk in silence, Ryeowook would stare at their shadow and he would bite back the urge to poke Kyuhyun and point out how their shadows seem to dissolve from being two to only being one.
“Well you are an idiot even without my statement,” Ryeowook insulted without malice, laughing a little.
“Oi,” Kyuhyun complained, laughing along with Ryeowook. “Well… you are an idiot, too,” he said and ducked when Ryeowook reached up to smack him.
“I’m not in love,” Ryeowook said.
“I am,” Kyuhyun interrupted him. “Always have been,” he said quietly, giving something that strangely looks like a wink towards his best friend’s way and Ryeowook was too caught up in rolling his eyes to notice the attempt on his friend’s part. “You’re an idiot for not noticing,” Kyuhyun smiled at him, walking ahead of Ryeowook as they reach his own apartment unit, one house away from where Ryeowook lives.
“Whatever,” Ryeowook said, walking past Kyuhyun towards his own apartment, looking forward to a relaxing night with his movies.
“See you tomorrow?” Kyuhyun asked, his voice hopeful as he waits for a reply.
“Mhmmm. Tomorrow,” Ryeowook said, sneezing a little and giving Kyuhyun a small wave before he walked away, leaving the other staring at him with a lingering gaze.
“Tomorrow,” Kyuhyun whispered to himself. “Maybe tomorrow,” he said and closed his door, already looking forward to another day to spend with Ryeowook.
How many times does he need to ask the same question? How long does he need to wait? How many more sunset walks do they need to share together and how many more years does he need to spend hiding behind the sweet pretenses of friendship? There were really no answers and people who are willing to wait don’t really need one. Sometimes all you need is a reassurance that there’ll be one more day for you to confess your feelings and there’ll be one more day to gather up your courage and say those three words that spawn a lifetime of change. Sometimes all you need is one more day and one more chance and though that one more day and that one more chance may come several years late, good things still come to those who knows how to wait. Because while falling in love requires no timing, confessing such love needs all the proper feelings and all the proper moments to make it as sweet as the first day you’ve felt it.
“Tomorrow,” Kyuhyun said to himself. “Really. Tomorrow.”
-----------------------------
There was an earthquake when they first met close to fifteen years ago. It wasn’t a bad one and neither was it overly memorable to most people but it’s a memory that Ryeowook and Kyuhyun privately shared. They were thirteen, bordering between adolescence and childhood. They thought they were already too big for the world and they tried hard to act like adults. It’s funny, really, how children force themselves to grow old and think hard in those supposedly innocent childhood days yet when adulthood fully comes and smack them across the face, all they wish for is to be able to be as carefree as a child again. Perhaps it’s truly the irony of living - to want something you used to have and to throw away something you thought you’d never need.
There was a local park in their old neighborhood, full of swings and seesaws and slides with green, red and yellow paint. Kyuhyun had been thrown off the swing when the earthquake happened and he injured both his knees. Ryeowook stood in front of him, eating ice cream that’s starting to melt.
“Does it hurt?” Ryeowook asked.
“Yes,” Kyuhyun answered as if they’d known each other for years. How is it that when you’re a child, there never seems to be a wall dividing you from others? How is it that when you’re in that stage of not being totally innocent yet still not mature either, it’s easier to approach even a stranger and converse about the everyday mundane things you both experience? Kyuhyun doesn’t even know Ryeowook’s name at that time and neither has Ryeowook known his but they were able to converse about wounds and idiocy the way normal people would.
“Were you scared of the earthquake?” Ryeowook asked, licking his ice cream.
Kyuhyun shook his head.
“No, I’m not a sissy,” he defended.
“Ahh… you must be an idiot, then,” Ryeowook sharply said and instead of his fist, Kyuhyun offered his smile.
“Don’t call other people idiots,” Kyuhyun chided. He stood up, ignoring the slight bleeding of his knees. “I’m Cho Kyuhyun,” he introduced himself, the way his mother taught him. He was still slightly shorter than Ryeowook back then and the other stared at him with skepticism that will always be a trademark of his personality.
“Kim Ryeowook.”
Kyuhyun shrugged and grinned, thrilled by the prospect of gaining a new friend. The moment Ryeowook shrugged back, they were suddenly thrown into this whole new level of relationship and Ryeowook is suddenly one less nameless face in the crowd Kyuhyun meets everyday.
It took months of playing together, house visits and petty fights before they were able to fully call each other “friend”. Ryeowook liked games and magic while Kyuhyun played with dogs and cats and practically any kind of animal he can lay his eyes on. Sometimes they would fight when Ryeowook spouts tactless words or when Kyuhyun forgets something that’s supposed to be important but it did not hinder the fact that a year after they first met, Kyuhyun had started to call Ryeowook his best friend. Ryeowook never agreed or disagreed and Kyuhyun counted that as a mutual feeling between them. After all, in an age when your wants and caprices could change in the snap of a finger, only those important to you will gain your utmost loyalty and endearing company.
Perhaps that’s why some of the most special people in our lives are the ones we met in childhood. They’re the ones you meet in innocence without thoughts of benefits or losses; they’re the people you grow up with, you mature with, you fight with, you laugh and you cry with. They’re the ones who, without really realizing it, have seen you at your best and at your worst and still consider you to be as equally important to them as they are to you. In the end, when the fire of friendship still burns as strong as ever in spite of the years you spent together, these very same people are the ones who always come to be as precious as your family… or, in some “un-surprising” moments… as precious as a lover.
“How many times can a person fall in love?” Kyuhyun asked when they were already in high school and he’s grown taller than Ryeowook without them realizing it.
“Do you think our math teacher will come today?” Ryeowook asked back, ignoring Kyuhyun’s question. He was bent over his desk, drawing stick figures of their giggling girl classmates in one corner. Kyuhyun sat beside him, his head supported by his right hand as he stares at Ryeowook.
“Who knows? Why? You didn’t do the homework?” Kyuhyun asked, grinning with arrogance.
“Idiot,” Ryeowook said. “I’ll just copy from you.”
“My answers might be wrong.”
“Then I’ll change the answer if I think it’s wrong,” Ryeowook said and when he looked up and met Kyuhyun’s gaze, he gave him a small smirk. “And no, I am not going to tell you if your answer is wrong.”
“Then that’s not copying at all. It’s more like using me for your own advantage,” Kyuhyun complained without really meaning what he says.
Ryeowook grinned evilly.
“Oh you’ve noticed?” He teased and Kyuhyun was about to answer when Ryeowook noticed a girl standing by the doorway, gazing towards their direction. “She’s been looking at you since yesterday, I think.”
“Who?” Kyuhyun asked, following the direction of Ryeowook’s gaze. “Minji? Why would she?” He turned back to Ryeowook and found his friend grinning from ear to ear.
“I think she likes you,” Ryeowook teased, eyebrows moving up and down. He leaned back on his chair and placed both arms behind his head. “I bet she’ll talk to you one of these days and ask if you want to watch the latest movie they’re showing in the cinemas. If she doesn’t do that, I’ll pay you a thousand Won.”
“Cheapskate,” Kyuhyun said, blushing a little at the teasing. “If she really doesn’t do that, you’ll be poorer by a thousand Won,” he continued, taking Ryeowook’s bet seriously.
Ryeowook grinned.
“And if she does that, you’ll buy me an eighteen inch pizza,” he declared.
“Says who?!”
“Says me.”
“Why the price difference? Do you know how much that costs?” Kyuhyun asked, his hands suddenly flailing on both sides as he speaks.
“Well your family is rich,” Ryeowook reasoned, earning a confused frown from Kyuhyun. “And you’re rich,” he supplemented, earning a raised eyebrow from his friend. He grinned and made a pose. “And you love me,” he said and to that… Kyuhyun has no answer. He simply blushed, licked his lips and turned away from Ryeowook to hide the deep crimson spreading across his face.
“Idiot,” Ryeowook commented and Kyuhyun didn’t really mind. Ryeowook has taken to calling him idiot years ago and Kyuhyun knew he meant it the loving way - the way people who can read each other’s minds mean it. It might seem totally negative for some stranger listening in on their conversation but hell, Kyuhyun has seen all the more negative things about Ryeowook and still that did not change the fact that Ryeowook… imperfect as he is… brutal as he is… has gained Kyuhyun’s admiration.
And love.
Love - the kind that blooms in the heart and warms the soul; the kind that sends tingles and romantic giggles to anyone who’s brave enough to give it a chance; the kind that changes ordinary relationships and turn it into precious things that live forever in the heart. The kind that makes people more beautiful; the kind that makes memories grow fonder and the kind that exists when the thin wall between people that friendship failed to break down actually breaks down and people become comfortable with each other on a whole new level…
The kind that makes Ryeowook more precious than a friend.
“You’re a bigger idiot,” Kyuhyun muttered, burying his face on his crossed arm on the table, hiding his grinning face from Ryeowook.
Ryeowook simply grunted and continued with his drawing while staring at the pale morning outside the window.
--------------------------------
Choi Minji turned out to be the very first person who confessed her feelings to Kyuhyun. She did it a week after Kyuhyun’s conversation with Ryeowook on a lazy afternoon right after the last bell rang for the day and Kyuhyun and Ryeowook were walking together, talking about ramen and baseball.
Ryeowook had grinned when she walked up to them and asked for a private conversation with Kyuhyun. Kyuhyun had stared at Ryeowook, hoping to see any trace of bitterness or jealousy on the other’s face and for a brief moment, he thought he saw it. Right after Ryeowook patted him on the back and whispered “I told you she likes you”, Kyuhyun thought he saw a tiny frown and a small smirk on the other’s face yet it immediately disappeared the moment he blinked.
“I’ll be…,” Ryeowook said, motioning with his thumb. “…just you know… checking out the new pizza flavors they have on display,” he said triumphantly. Kyuhyun had watched him as he walks with the pale sunshine on his back and he fought back the urge to pull him back and scream how much he wanted he hear Ryeowook’s confession instead.
Minji likes him for being funny, Kyuhyun learned. She likes him for laughing at the simplest things and she likes him because he’s a walking ball of sunshine. He’s an idiot too and Minji enjoyed that. Kyuhyun helped her pick her books up when she tripped on the stairs and she thought he’s nice. Kyuhyun appreciates it and he told her how much he’s flattered by her confession but he couldn’t tell her that all the while, as she was confessing, Kyuhyun had been imagining Ryeowook instead.
“So are you dating her now?” Ryeowook asked over the phone that evening when Kyuhyun reported to him. “She’s smaller than you and you can drape your arms around her and it’ll fit perfectly,” he teased.
Kyuhyun had laughed - calm and contagious.
“I’d like to drape it around your shoulders instead,” he said without thinking and he was suddenly nervous at the vacant pause that met his statement.
“Stupid,” Ryeowook said and Kyuhyun thought he heard a slight trace of breathlessness on the other’s voice. “You’re disgusting. Your stupid perfume will be rubbed all over me and I don’t want that.”
Kyuhyun laughed once again, the pounding in his heart tripling. Did he just make an indirect confession? Is Ryeowook quick enough to decipher it?
“Ryeowook…”
“Kyuhyun…,” Ryeowook said at the same time that Kyuhyun spoke. Pausing for a few seconds, he didn’t wait for Kyuhyun to continue with his sentence. “Give her a chance. One or two days,” he said seriously.
“Why?”
Ryeowook breathed.
“Because I like it when other people like you too,” he said and Kyuhyun smiled. Too. He likes it when other people like Kyuhyun too and Kyuhyun’s heart did those little flip-flops it usually does when Ryeowook says nice things every now and then.
“Ryeowook?”
“Hmmm?”
Kyuhyun stayed silent for a while, his eyes smiling fondly at the memories appearing one by one in his mind.
“Nevermind. Let’s sleep,” he said and ended the call with a wish that tomorrow will be as sweet as it had been that day.
----------------------------------
Exactly as Ryeowook had said, Kyuhyun gave Choi Minji a chance. For a few days, he said he’ll try to be with her and he’ll think about her feelings. Minji isn’t a demanding girl and she told Kyuhyun that it’s fine to just stay together while he’s thinking. She smiles a lot and she talks about things that Kyuhyun likes to talk about. They were on the same wavelength, Kyuhyun thought. She understands him and she never tells him he’s an idiot when he makes simple mistakes. She never hits him on the head and she never copies his homework only to modify it later. She’s never moody, she’s never mad, she’s never whiny… and she’ll never be Ryeowook and though she never told Kyuhyun, Minji knew that anyone who’s not Ryeowook will never capture Kyuhyun’s heart.
“I’ll keep it a secret,” Minji said a week later as they gather daffodils for a stage play.
“Hmmm?” Kyuhyun asked, thinking of ways to tell her how they’ll never work out.
Minji rubbed her hands together to remove the dirt that stuck to it while they gather wild grasses.
“Oh you know,” she said, grinning. “How you like your best friend. I’ll keep it a secret.”
It took Kyuhyun more than a minute to actually understand what she’s saying and when he did, he blinked and blinked, opening and closing his mouth, wondering how someone who never really knows him can decipher his innermost feelings.
“It’s obvious,” Minji said. “Well… maybe it’s not… because if it’s really obvious he would have known it by now, right?” She shrugged. “My friend and I have this theory that love is the most difficult thing to actually decipher. Coz if it’s easy, then you would have already noticed how I always choose a seat next to you when I can… or how I volunteer to do the work when I know you’ll be there… things like that.”
“Minji…”
“…and you know, if it’s really easy to decipher… maybe Ryeowook would have already noticed how you’re a tiny bit happier when you’re talking to him… or how you always laugh even he’s saying something serious…you like the tough kind of love, huh?”
Kyuhyun grinned, looking down.
“It’s not like I can help it, either. Maybe… just like your theory… deciphering why you actually fell in love with someone is one of the most difficult things in the world. Or maybe… it’s something not meant to be deciphered after all.”
“Because it’s easier if you do not understand,” Minji supplemented and they laughed together. They really work on the same wavelength. But sometimes, in spite of the existence of someone so ideal and so perfect, people still choose those imperfect ones who make each moment a tiny bit more precious. Love does not really work in the rational parts of the heart and the brain. It works in those little corners kept hidden even to your own self. That’s why logic and love do not really go together because love, once tainted by explanations and unnecessary reasons will always lose its beauty.
------------------------------------
“You missed my table tennis game, you idiot. And I was even awesome.” Ryeowook’s note on Kyuhyun’s table says.
“Ah!” Kyuhyun exclaimed to himself. He totally lost track of the time conversing with Minji about feelings and Ryeowook. “He’s going to kill me,” he thought to himself, grabbing his bag and heading towards the gymnasium. There were a few people cleaning the floors but Ryeowook wasn’t in sight. It’s understandable because Kyuhyun knows he really hates physical labors like cleaning.
He found him on the rooftop, his feet dangling on the edge and he’s eating a burger he probably purchased somewhere. The soft breeze ruffling his hair is playful and refreshing and as Kyuhyun looks at him, Ryeowook seemed like a child, enjoying a private time on his own.
“Ahhh… I’m hungry,” Kyuhyun said, announcing his presence. Ryeowook turned to him and threw him a dirty look.
“You can’t have my burger,” Ryeowook said possessively and Kyuhyun laughed. How he laughed. He spent so little time with Ryeowook the past week and the fact that he missed his friend slapped him right on the face at that moment.
“If that’s fried chicken, I would’ve stolen it from you already. Burger is not my thing,” Kyuhyun said, sitting beside Ryeowook, their feet dangling on the edge of the rooftop. The playful breeze blew from somewhere, offering a refreshing atmosphere beneath the mid-afternoon sky.
“Were you really awesome?” Kyuhyun teased.
“Huh?” Ryeowook growled.
“In the table tennis game. Were you really awesome?”
Ryeowook smirked and before long his smirk turned into an arrogant grin.
“Of course. I’m always awesome,” he bragged as he threw the wrapping of his burger down towards the ground below them.
“Oi! That’s littering!” Kyuhyun scolded him.
“Go pick it up if it’s bothering you,” Ryeowook said evilly.
“Pffft.”
There was silence… so comfortable, so weird… so relaxing. They felt the wind on their cheeks and the pale sun tickles their skin.
“Let’s go buy your pizza,” Kyuhyun offered silently and Ryeowook turned to look at him quizzically. After a few seconds, a mix of emotions showed on his face and Kyuhyun couldn’t really decipher which is which.
“So… I won?” Ryeowook said, his voice strangely sounding a little disappointed. “She really confessed and you’re dating her now?”
“Mhmmm… who knows?” Kyuhyun said playfully, briefly enjoying the thought that maybe, in some way, Ryeowook is feeling a little jealous.
“Kyuhyun!”
Kyuhyun laughed at him, slapping Ryeowook a little on the shoulder as his laughter bounced with the wind.
“I’m in love with someone else,” he said after a while, his tone gaining a little seriousness. “I’ve always been in love with someone else.”
Ryeowook stared at him, as if trying to gauge the level of seriousness his friend is displaying.
“With who?” He asked.
Kyuhyun grinned.
“With you,” he said while giggling and when he looked at Ryeowook, the other’s eyebrows were knitted together. “Uhmm…,” Kyuhyun said, his words causing long moments of silence to take over them.
They stared at each other, with Ryeowook frowning and Kyuhyun wide-eyed, like a deer caught in headlights. When the corners of Ryeowook’s mouth twitched to form the beginnings of a smile, Kyuhyun took his cue and they both said: “Eeeeewwww! Like that could ever happen!”
“Idiot!” Ryeowook said and Kyuhyun chose to hide his real feelings behind his crunchy laughter. “Stop saying tactless things.”
“Sorry,” Kyuhyun said, staring into the wide horizon in front of them. “Ryeowook…”
“Hmmm?”
“If I’m really in love with someone, I’ll tell you, okay?” Kyuhyun said. Someday, when he finds the courage to truthfully say he’s in love with his best friend, he’ll tell him. But for now, he’ll be satisfied with this promise. “And if you’re in love with someone too, you’ll tell me.”
“Mhmmm,” Ryeowook agreed. “What exactly is this for?” He asked when Kyuhyun held out his pinky finger towards him and he took it before asking.
“Just.”
“Just what?”
“Just to make sure I’ll be able to tell you when the right time comes,” Kyuhyun said and he refused to say anything more in spite of Ryeowook threatening to break into his room one night and poison his milk.
Maybe he really should’ve told Ryeowook he liked him back then because after that, Kyuhyun totally lost all his courage to ever confess. Maybe he should’ve taken his chances and risked on his opportunities. Chances come once in a blue moon and courage is like an evasive eclipse that happens only several moments in a lifetime. Once you lose it, there’s no telling when you can get it back again.
And Kyuhyun didn’t gain it back even as they step into university grounds.
-------------------------------
They were thought of to be perverted gays in their second year in the university. The rumor broke out after Kyuhyun had used the bathroom without checking if there’s tissue paper to use right after he does his thing. When he pulled the thin roll of tissue paper and all he got was a tiny piece, he knew he’s in trouble.
“I’m never wrong whenever I tell you that you’re an idiot,” Ryeowook had complained over the phone when Kyuhyun called him and asked for some kind of reinforcement.
“How am I supposed to know there’s no tissue paper here?” Kyuhyun complained.
“You can tell just by looking!”
“But I badly needed to go!”
“Whatever, idiot. Which cubicle are you in?” Ryeowook asked, knocking on cubicles as soon as he reached the men’s bathroom.
“Second to the last if you’re looking from the doorway,” Kyuhyun answered and in a heartbeat, Ryeowook was knocking on his cubicle door.
“Hurry and do your thing!” Ryeowook said while pinching his nose. After a while, he heard the toilet flushing and he was about to leave when Kyuhyun called him back. “What now?!”
“My pants’ zipper is broken,” Kyuhyun said, panicking a little.
“What?”
“My zipper is broken!” Kyuhyun repeated, opening his cubicle door and peeking at Ryeowook who was looking at him murderously. “Uhmm…?”
Ryeowook rolled his eyes and pushed open the door.
“Oh for goodness’ sake!” He exclaimed, slapping Kyuhyun’s hand away as he squats in front of his friend, trying to pull the zipper head up.
“It won’t work!” Kyuhyun said, pulling up his pants.
“Shut up and let me do it!”
“I said it won’t work! This is embarrassing.”
“I said shut up and let me do it!” Ryeowook repeated and as he tried to pull the zipper up, the head completely detached from the zipper itself. “Hell…,” he murmured, standing up to stare at Kyuhyun.
“Hell indeed,” someone from the doorway said and when they both looked, two guys from their class were staring at them, looking a little horrified. “Go to a motel or something,” one of them said and Ryeowook face-palmed, so sure that he’s going to live the rest of his university life in hell.
-------------------------------
“But it was fun, wasn’t it?” Kyuhyun asked when the fifteen years worth of memories were now behind them and he still hasn’t been able to confess his feelings. They were now both completely adults with a full working schedule ahead of them.
Ryeowook had been down with a bad flu and he’s been absent from work for two consecutive days already. Kyuhyun had taken to nursing him back to health, drowning him in chicken soup and useless work rumors.
“Mhmm…,” Ryeowook said, reaching up and peeling the fever patch on his head. He wordlessly handed it back to Kyuhyun who was sitting in bed next to him, flipping television channels as he entertains his sick friend with tales from his memories.
“Your fever went down a little,” Kyuhyun said as he feels Ryeowook’s forehead and replaces the fever patch the other had peeled off. “Are you feeling cold?” He asked when he noticed Ryeowook’s slight shivers beneath his blankets.
“A little,” Ryeowook admitted and he gave small surprised yelp when Kyuhyun slid beneath the covers beside him. “What are you doing, idiot?”
“Keeping you warm,” Kyuhyun said, matter-of-factly. In spite of Ryeowook’s protests, he pulled the blanket up and wrapped his arms around Ryeowook’s smaller frame.
“If you get sick too, don’t blame me.”
“I’m not the blaming kind,” Kyuhyun said and grinned when Ryeowook unconsciously let out a small, contended sigh. “It’s better for a friend to keep you warm, isn’t it?”
“Shut up and let me sleep.”
“Right,” Kyuhyun said. His arm around Ryeowook tightened and the other cuddled closer to him, like a drenched puppy seeking warmth. “Hey, Ryeowook…”
“Mhmmm?” Ryeowook answered silently, his words slurred and his voice thick with sleep. Kyuhyun could feel the other’s heartbeats and he momentarily paused, challenging himself on whether he could hear it amidst the silence that now dominates Ryeowook’s room. He couldn’t hear anything but he surely could feel it… rhythmic and sweet like an unknown love song from long ago. He relished that moment for a while, taking pride in being the only one in the world who can feel Ryeowook’s heartbeat at that moment.
His arms instinctively tightened around his friend’s body.
“Ryeowook,” Kyuhyun breathed. “How many times can a person fall in love?” he asked. There was no answer and his question was met by Ryeowook’s evened out breathing. Kyuhyun smiled with fondness, moving closer to Ryeowook so that there was only an inch of a distance between them.
He freed one arm from embracing Ryeowook and he reached out, brushing back the little strands of hair that cover his ears. With the fondness and bittersweet feelings that he felt since the first time he realized he’s in love with his friend, Kyuhyun leaned close and planted a gentle kiss on Ryeowook’s temple.
“Coz you know…,” Kyuhyun continued, answering his own question. “For the fifteen years that we’ve been together… I’ve fallen in love with you countless times than you could imagine. And until now… I still love you the way I’ve loved you since the first time we met. So how many times… how many times can you really fall in love?”
In the thick silence that followed, as Kyuhyun continued to feel Ryeowook’s heart beating against his chest, he imagined it speaking in codes that sort of said: Once. Only once… if it’s with you.
And Kyuhyun smiled. And he laughed… and he hoped.
TBC
-----------------------------
1. I won't listen to naggers anymore. Huhuhu. Seriously... this fic was meant for Aimiya alone but akirin just had to nag and nag and nag and she's kind enough to give Arashi a chance so I had to. I just had to give in to her nagging. T__T
2. Not to mention bluefireflies and wind_drifter were joining in on the nagging. GAAAHH!! *dies*
3. I'm not converting any more fics. 2:2 is an awesome fairness for me already. hahaha
4. I still haven't become an expert in the English language. XDD