The hardest thing i've ever had to do...
John Archelas Egan left on November 5th 2004 at 2:00am.
I took John to the bus station and gave him his final far well.
I didnt think for one second that it was going to be difficult.
Let me tell you all that that had to be the hardest experience i have ever had to do in my life. No matter how long it too me to get to FortPierce it was 100% worth it. Right now im completely greatfull that i got to take my best friend to the bus station and be the one to spend his last hours in this town with him.
When we hugged and said our goodbyes i kept it together... but as soon as i got in my car and drove away i had the worst emo break down i have probably ever had. i cried from 2am till now... 3:38am and probably will be for a while.
No matter what i have ever said i will always love John and he will be one of closest people to me for the rest of my life.
I'm so upset he is gone. I just keep remembering back to all the good times we always had and all the fun we had and all the jokes and all the games...
I didnt get to say much to John when we said our goodbyes all i said was, well goodbye. As of right now im kicking myself in the face for it. If i could turn back time i would probably tell John that:
he is the most awesome person that i have met since moving to Fl. he has made ever day worth while. I enjoyed ever moment of his company. John was the first person i have ever loved and the first person besides my own family that i would die for. John has made me the person i am today. Because of John i found out that i could actually love someone, and be proud and happy with myself. I'm sorry that i couldnt give him anything to remeber me by, but i would just like to let him know that even though he is gone there will always be a large space with his name on it in my heart. And he's welcome to come see me at anytime. I will always be there for John no matter what trouble he is in, what he is doing, or where he is. And even though im saying this i still dont feel its enough to express my feelings and thoughts about John. No word or words can be said to be enough to explain how i feel for him. Just know that i'm always here for you and will all ways love you unconditionally.
Keith also said something that made me extremely happy and yet sad and depressed at the same time:
"Aww Buba... I think its real cool you brought him... i think your the most important person in his life, your the only one that showed him real love..."
Just an awesome thing to say, and it goes to show how people saw our relationship.
On the way home i listened to The All-American Rejects and that entire cd portrays the times spent with John. One song inparticular fit the moment and completed a memory, so now ever song has meaning, and ever song has a memory of time spent with John. The song that completed this cd of memories was Paper Heart. My favorite particular lines are:
Bottle up old love.
Throw it out to sea.
Watch it away as you cry.
A year has passed.
The seasons grow.
Please just dont play with me.
My paper heart will bleed.
*now im crying again*
But that sums up tonight in a nutshell.
I LOVE YOU JOHN FOREVER AND ALWAYS
Destiny brought us together,
and im sure our paths will cross many more times in the future.
=mykel=
I took John to the bus station and gave him his final far well.
I didnt think for one second that it was going to be difficult.
Let me tell you all that that had to be the hardest experience i have ever had to do in my life. No matter how long it too me to get to FortPierce it was 100% worth it. Right now im completely greatfull that i got to take my best friend to the bus station and be the one to spend his last hours in this town with him.
When we hugged and said our goodbyes i kept it together... but as soon as i got in my car and drove away i had the worst emo break down i have probably ever had. i cried from 2am till now... 3:38am and probably will be for a while.
No matter what i have ever said i will always love John and he will be one of closest people to me for the rest of my life.
I'm so upset he is gone. I just keep remembering back to all the good times we always had and all the fun we had and all the jokes and all the games...
I didnt get to say much to John when we said our goodbyes all i said was, well goodbye. As of right now im kicking myself in the face for it. If i could turn back time i would probably tell John that:
he is the most awesome person that i have met since moving to Fl. he has made ever day worth while. I enjoyed ever moment of his company. John was the first person i have ever loved and the first person besides my own family that i would die for. John has made me the person i am today. Because of John i found out that i could actually love someone, and be proud and happy with myself. I'm sorry that i couldnt give him anything to remeber me by, but i would just like to let him know that even though he is gone there will always be a large space with his name on it in my heart. And he's welcome to come see me at anytime. I will always be there for John no matter what trouble he is in, what he is doing, or where he is. And even though im saying this i still dont feel its enough to express my feelings and thoughts about John. No word or words can be said to be enough to explain how i feel for him. Just know that i'm always here for you and will all ways love you unconditionally.
Keith also said something that made me extremely happy and yet sad and depressed at the same time:
"Aww Buba... I think its real cool you brought him... i think your the most important person in his life, your the only one that showed him real love..."
Just an awesome thing to say, and it goes to show how people saw our relationship.
On the way home i listened to The All-American Rejects and that entire cd portrays the times spent with John. One song inparticular fit the moment and completed a memory, so now ever song has meaning, and ever song has a memory of time spent with John. The song that completed this cd of memories was Paper Heart. My favorite particular lines are:
Bottle up old love.
Throw it out to sea.
Watch it away as you cry.
A year has passed.
The seasons grow.
Please just dont play with me.
My paper heart will bleed.
*now im crying again*
But that sums up tonight in a nutshell.
I LOVE YOU JOHN FOREVER AND ALWAYS
Destiny brought us together,
and im sure our paths will cross many more times in the future.
=mykel=