Something incoherent about my attitude towards Christianity.
Feel free to take offense, it wasn't my intention when I wrote this on paper, but if it makes you feel better...
A guy called Jukka had left me a comment on a website I regularly visit. Though I was happy he remembered me, it made me a little sad - I met him at my confirmation camp and have been talking with him mainly in Christian gatherings, and he's one of those people who most likely wouldn't bother being friends with me if they knew I'm no more a Christian.
It's hard for me to comprehend... Why faith cuts so many connections. Granted, it creates new ones too, for most people, but do you have to abandon those who don't walk the same path? I don't mind if someone is Christian, I never have unless I didn't like them anyway. I've also been okay with other types of faith, and atheism for that matter - some of my best friends are somewhat determined in their belief that there's nothing but this world and that this world has nothing supernatural in it. They didn't try (well, not too pushily at least) to destroy my faith and I didn't attempt to convert them. People will disagree, but that is acceptance for me. Even better when there's dialogue without winners or losers or hatred.
The reason why I dwell on Christianity is that I am Christian, at least as Christian as the average Finn. Not very Christian, that is, in terms of spirituality anyhow. Culturally however I do consider myself as one of them, and I value (most) Christian virtues and moral principles. What makes it difficult is all the rest. I suppose it'd be a piece of cake if I'd never had faith, but now I have to struggle with doubts; it was like that for a long time. It's not other Christians that I rebel against, not the Church, not the religion itself. I fight against my own beliefs, morals, restrictions and fears. I may seem angry and bitter, but I guess it's nothing unusual when someone doesn't understand. It touches me because I was there. I do not hate anyone for their faith.
I said I appreciate Christian morals. - Now, I think there'd be no conflicts, or at least notably fewer of them, if all followers of a religion really followed their rules. However it hardly ever happens; we're all human. Therefore don't come and judge my lifestyle until yours is perfect... The problem with religious perfection is that you never see it. Perfect Buddhists are in Nirvana, perfect Hindus have become part of the Brahman, perfect Christians don't exist, Muslims think they're perfect when they aren't, and for pagans there is no such thing as perfection.
What can I say? I just want us to be able to live together. Even if we couldn't be friends, we don't have to be enemies. All the better if friends stay friends, of course... If this is goodbye to Jukka and the likes of him, I'd like to show my gratitude after all: the fact that they accepted me among them when I was Christian was a wonderful thing. I suppose I can't demand that they accept me as I am now, but if they hadn't done that in the first place, I say there would have been no point for any of us in ever believing in anything good. Trying to make peace with something different is futile if you're unwilling to welcome what is familiar.
A guy called Jukka had left me a comment on a website I regularly visit. Though I was happy he remembered me, it made me a little sad - I met him at my confirmation camp and have been talking with him mainly in Christian gatherings, and he's one of those people who most likely wouldn't bother being friends with me if they knew I'm no more a Christian.
It's hard for me to comprehend... Why faith cuts so many connections. Granted, it creates new ones too, for most people, but do you have to abandon those who don't walk the same path? I don't mind if someone is Christian, I never have unless I didn't like them anyway. I've also been okay with other types of faith, and atheism for that matter - some of my best friends are somewhat determined in their belief that there's nothing but this world and that this world has nothing supernatural in it. They didn't try (well, not too pushily at least) to destroy my faith and I didn't attempt to convert them. People will disagree, but that is acceptance for me. Even better when there's dialogue without winners or losers or hatred.
The reason why I dwell on Christianity is that I am Christian, at least as Christian as the average Finn. Not very Christian, that is, in terms of spirituality anyhow. Culturally however I do consider myself as one of them, and I value (most) Christian virtues and moral principles. What makes it difficult is all the rest. I suppose it'd be a piece of cake if I'd never had faith, but now I have to struggle with doubts; it was like that for a long time. It's not other Christians that I rebel against, not the Church, not the religion itself. I fight against my own beliefs, morals, restrictions and fears. I may seem angry and bitter, but I guess it's nothing unusual when someone doesn't understand. It touches me because I was there. I do not hate anyone for their faith.
I said I appreciate Christian morals. - Now, I think there'd be no conflicts, or at least notably fewer of them, if all followers of a religion really followed their rules. However it hardly ever happens; we're all human. Therefore don't come and judge my lifestyle until yours is perfect... The problem with religious perfection is that you never see it. Perfect Buddhists are in Nirvana, perfect Hindus have become part of the Brahman, perfect Christians don't exist, Muslims think they're perfect when they aren't, and for pagans there is no such thing as perfection.
What can I say? I just want us to be able to live together. Even if we couldn't be friends, we don't have to be enemies. All the better if friends stay friends, of course... If this is goodbye to Jukka and the likes of him, I'd like to show my gratitude after all: the fact that they accepted me among them when I was Christian was a wonderful thing. I suppose I can't demand that they accept me as I am now, but if they hadn't done that in the first place, I say there would have been no point for any of us in ever believing in anything good. Trying to make peace with something different is futile if you're unwilling to welcome what is familiar.