(no subject)
Eventually, if you do enough drugs, do you loose part of your personality? In the same way that if you are a stoner(or whatever is your drug of choice), and you decide to quit smoking, you are also loosing part of who you are? I am using pot as my drug of choice here as although i dabble in a bit of everything, pot is my mate for life, my life partner, my "drug of choice".
I kinda started to worry this weekend that drugs are too much of a factor in my life. My thought process, who i hang around with, what i spend my money on. I mean if i were the kind of person who did sort out thier finaces and budget (I don't.... I'm a fuckin pot head for christ sake) I would set aside an amount a month for drugs. And it would be a fairly substantial amount aswell. Is that a bad thing? Am I confusing "good, crazy" times with escapism from adulthood and reality. I don't feel depressed, but is that coz i'm pumped full of chemicals which make me numb to it?
Most of my friends smoke pot. If I was to stop, my life would change dramatically. Coz you find that people who do drugs don't understand the mentality of those who don't, and vice versa. There is always judgment. You do drugs therefore you musn't be an upstanding citizen or a good person. You don't do drugs and I just can't relate to you. You just don't have that "i don't give a fuck" that is important in the people i love. You need a little insanity or abnormality to be my friend and i have found, those who are a little wierd are generally inhibriated in some way or other. I have wicked friends and some damn fun to be around aqaintances who all seem like good people to me. But is that just coz i'm inside this with no outside perspective?.... I am a "Pot head"! Does that make me blind to the fact that i'm giggling idiot who is constantly mashed?
Don't get me wrong, this concern will not spurr me into action, Clean up my act and get my life together. Quite honestly i believe life to be too short to have it all 'together' and organised. You spend so much time sorting things out to make yourself comfortable and happy in the future that by the time the future comes, your too fuckin old and scenile to appreciate it. I'd much rather be skint on a saturday night, running on empty and knackered from whatever depraved acts took place the night before, but still find a way to go out and get mashed and dance the night away with good friends and interestingly wierd conversation with interestingly wierd people.
So no.... I am no longer gonna worry about the loss of my personality. This is what I am. I like it, my mates all seem to, and those narrow minded judgemental fuckers who feel the need to inflict thier beliefs and judgements about what constitutes a good person and a good life on to me can save it. I have a feeling that i'm gonna have alot more interesting stories to tell and alot less regrets on my death bed!!!
I kinda started to worry this weekend that drugs are too much of a factor in my life. My thought process, who i hang around with, what i spend my money on. I mean if i were the kind of person who did sort out thier finaces and budget (I don't.... I'm a fuckin pot head for christ sake) I would set aside an amount a month for drugs. And it would be a fairly substantial amount aswell. Is that a bad thing? Am I confusing "good, crazy" times with escapism from adulthood and reality. I don't feel depressed, but is that coz i'm pumped full of chemicals which make me numb to it?
Most of my friends smoke pot. If I was to stop, my life would change dramatically. Coz you find that people who do drugs don't understand the mentality of those who don't, and vice versa. There is always judgment. You do drugs therefore you musn't be an upstanding citizen or a good person. You don't do drugs and I just can't relate to you. You just don't have that "i don't give a fuck" that is important in the people i love. You need a little insanity or abnormality to be my friend and i have found, those who are a little wierd are generally inhibriated in some way or other. I have wicked friends and some damn fun to be around aqaintances who all seem like good people to me. But is that just coz i'm inside this with no outside perspective?.... I am a "Pot head"! Does that make me blind to the fact that i'm giggling idiot who is constantly mashed?
Don't get me wrong, this concern will not spurr me into action, Clean up my act and get my life together. Quite honestly i believe life to be too short to have it all 'together' and organised. You spend so much time sorting things out to make yourself comfortable and happy in the future that by the time the future comes, your too fuckin old and scenile to appreciate it. I'd much rather be skint on a saturday night, running on empty and knackered from whatever depraved acts took place the night before, but still find a way to go out and get mashed and dance the night away with good friends and interestingly wierd conversation with interestingly wierd people.
So no.... I am no longer gonna worry about the loss of my personality. This is what I am. I like it, my mates all seem to, and those narrow minded judgemental fuckers who feel the need to inflict thier beliefs and judgements about what constitutes a good person and a good life on to me can save it. I have a feeling that i'm gonna have alot more interesting stories to tell and alot less regrets on my death bed!!!