Ghost Rider
So, Christy and I went to see Ghost Rider on the big screen, on the basis that that'd be about all it would have going for it. That said, we went to the cheap big theatre, on the basis of it not being worth spending huge money for.
So let's see, where to begin...
How about with this: Attention Female Love Interest: Those things on your shirt? They are called buttons. The little hard bit goes through the hole (you should be familiar with this principle) and holds the cloth together. This is why you are cold all the time. Or maybe you're just trying to make that crucifix more prominent, cause nothing says Jesus like an eyeful of cleavage.
Next, let's talk pacing. The movie goes from intro through half of the typical "Oh my god the changes" scene, and then cuts directly to a boss fight. After that, it eventually gets around to the usual 'learning' scene.
The enemies seem mostly to be defeated by the mere presence of the main character (pretty much literally in one case). This is most dramatic when it seems to be a big surprise that the big flaming skull guy can actually do the big flaming skull thing.
The main principles that they set out for the villains ("They can't enter hallowed ground") are then ignored as just about every other scene after that starring the villains takes place on ground that should theoretically be hallowed.
I will give them one thing, though. It takes a lot of balls for a movie to go and say, "Oh, and here's a character that you wish the movie was going to be about. He's not staying, though. He's not even going to do anything. He's just here to fuck with you. And... he's going away now."
Save your money. Hollywood has found the answer to combatting piracy--movies not even worth the bandwidth to download.
So let's see, where to begin...
How about with this: Attention Female Love Interest: Those things on your shirt? They are called buttons. The little hard bit goes through the hole (you should be familiar with this principle) and holds the cloth together. This is why you are cold all the time. Or maybe you're just trying to make that crucifix more prominent, cause nothing says Jesus like an eyeful of cleavage.
Next, let's talk pacing. The movie goes from intro through half of the typical "Oh my god the changes" scene, and then cuts directly to a boss fight. After that, it eventually gets around to the usual 'learning' scene.
The enemies seem mostly to be defeated by the mere presence of the main character (pretty much literally in one case). This is most dramatic when it seems to be a big surprise that the big flaming skull guy can actually do the big flaming skull thing.
The main principles that they set out for the villains ("They can't enter hallowed ground") are then ignored as just about every other scene after that starring the villains takes place on ground that should theoretically be hallowed.
I will give them one thing, though. It takes a lot of balls for a movie to go and say, "Oh, and here's a character that you wish the movie was going to be about. He's not staying, though. He's not even going to do anything. He's just here to fuck with you. And... he's going away now."
Save your money. Hollywood has found the answer to combatting piracy--movies not even worth the bandwidth to download.