Title: Lemonade
Author: variousflumps
Pairing: Alicia/Kalinda
Rating: PG
Summary: Marital misunderstandings.
They’re sitting on the couch, close and comfortable, Kalinda’s right hand enclosed in both of Alicia’s. The movie’s almost finished, the final scenes showing a young couple at the altar, tearfully saying their vows. Alicia’s been enthralled in the film from the start; Kalinda less so. But she’s watching Alicia now; her smile, the sentimental look in her eyes. The way she’s started to softly stroke Kalinda’s hand with her own.
“You ever think about it?” Kalinda says quietly.
“About what?”
“All that stuff.” Kalinda motions with her free hand to the television, where the bride and groom are now slow dancing to a power ballad.
Alicia looks at her warily. “You mean Peter?”
“No, I mean...do you think about...the possibility of marriage number two.”
Alicia stares at her. She’s frozen solid for at least 10 seconds and then she abruptly lets go of Kalinda’s hand. The look that comes over her face fills Kalinda with absolute fear.
“How can you ask me that? How can you even ask me that?”
Her eyes fill with tears and she flees from the room. Kalinda calls after her repeatedly, her heart thumping in her chest, total confusion filling her mind. She tries to get up and go after her but can’t quite make her legs work. She forces her brain to think, to try to figure out what the hell just happened.
After a few minutes she manages to follow her into the bedroom, where she’s met with red-rimmed eyes and a hurt, furious, “Get out.” Every time she starts to ask her what’s wrong she’s shot down, and in the end she has to turn around and go home, her mind racing the whole way.
Do you ever think about marriage number two?
How could that possibly have upset her so much? They’d never talked about it before, and there was no doubt that Alicia’s first marriage had ended up a complete disaster area, but why did that mean that the whole subject was off limits?
She arrives at her apartment and heads straight for the bedroom, lying down and staring at the ceiling. The unwanted adrenalin is still rushing through her veins, her heart still pumping, and the memory of Alicia’s broken-hearted face clouds her mind. She tries desperately to think clearly.
Do you ever think about marriage number two?
Surely Alicia had thought about it too, after all this time together? The type of person that she was, the love of commitment, the planning for the future...surely she had thought about a wedding...
And then she gets it. Finally, through the fog of her pain, she gets it. It’s so obvious once she sees it.
But it’s too late. It’s after midnight now, and she can’t wake her, she’s in court first thing. It’ll have to keep until the morning. And she’d better make herself pretty damn clear this time.
One sleepless, endless night later, she strides into Alicia’s office, utterly determined. Somebody’s gonna get a wake-up call.
“We had a misunderstanding last night.”
Alicia isn’t looking at her. Her eyes are much more heavily made-up than usual.
“I have court in 20 minutes. You’ll have to wait.”
Kalinda flinches a little from the cold fury in her voice, but she braces herself and takes a deep breath.
“This’ll take 20 seconds.”
“I’m late.”
She picks up two folders and makes to push past Kalinda. Kalinda physically blocks her way.
“I said, we had a misunderstanding, and we need to clear it up.”
“I understood you perfectly well.”
“No, you really didn’t.”
“For God’s sake, Kalinda...”
Kalinda takes a deep breath. “It’s not legal yet, but it will be. One day.”
Alicia looks exhausted. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“And just so you know, you’re not allowed to marry a man anyway. I forbid it.”
“Look, I know you love to talk in riddles but I have to be in...” She trails off. Kalinda watches her as the realisation slowly registers on her face.
“Like I said. A misunderstanding. Do good in court.”
She turns to walk out.
“Kalinda!”
“Yeah?”
“I...I...”
“You’re gonna be late.”
“Do you...” She trails off helplessly, looking like a woman who has forgotten most of the words of the English language.
Kalinda takes pity on her. “You understand now?”
Alicia nods slightly. She looks a little dazed.
“Good. I’m going to drive you over there so you don’t cause a pile-up. Ready?”
Alicia nods again.
“Then let’s go.”
Alicia follows her to the elevator, and then to the car, without speaking. Kalinda’s been driving for at least 10 minutes before Alicia finally breaks the silence.
“I’m sorry that I misunderstood.”
Kalinda glances over at her. “It’s OK. I should have been clearer.”
“I just assumed...I mean, you’d never mentioned it before, and with the law...”
“I know.”
“I don’t want you to think that, I mean, that I don’t think you’re...committed. I mean...”
“It’s OK, Alicia. Promise.”
Silence.
“Just so we’re clear...were you asking me whether I’d ever thought about it, or were you actually...asking me?”
Kalinda’s heart tries to turn itself inside out, or do a somersault, or whatever the hell it tries to do in there whenever she has a particularly intense Alicia moment. She wishes it would quit it.
“I was asking if you’d ever thought about it.”
“OK. And if I’d said yes?”
“You clearly said no.”
Damn, that came out a little harsh. Alicia looks pained.
“That’s not true, Kalinda. I’ve thought about it plenty of times, it’s just a long way from being legal so I hadn’t pictured it like that, like it was in the movie. And more importantly, I had no idea at all that it was...you know, even on the table in reality. With you.”
“Well now you know.”
“Yeah. Now I know.”
Kalinda stops for a red light and watches a workman scratch his left buttock with one hand and stuff a sandwich into his face with the other. The very small part of her brain that is available for coherent thought wonders if there might be some kind of course she could go on to teach her how to do this relationship stuff in a rather more...graceful manner. Or at least in a manner that doesn’t keep her awake half the night. (Maybe, says her brain, but you’d end up murdering the instructor, which might be a fail.)
“So we’ve both thought about it,” says Alicia.
“Yeah.”
The workman has finished his sandwich and is drinking from a can. Kalinda tries to figure out what he’s drinking in order to give her brain something to do that doesn’t involve oozing out of her ears.
“So maybe that’s something we should talk about.”
“Maybe so.”
It’s not Coke, she can see that much. Maybe Sprite, some kind of lemonade. Grace drinks lemonade, a white and green generic can with a red top, maybe it’s...
“Kalinda.”
“What?”
“The lights!”
She stares stupidly at the green light. “Right.”
She can feel Alicia’s eyes on her as she drives away. Detective eyes. What are you thinking? What do you want? She used to be able to hide from those eyes, but they’ve been together so long now that Alicia can usually read her. She’s almost certain that she’s readable today. Not really a workman’s drink, lemonade. Seems unusual, a little childish...maybe it was...
“You forbid it, huh?”
“What?”
“Me marrying a man. It’s forbidden?”
Well that’s an easy one. “Damn right.”
Alicia laughs her wonderful, warm laugh. Kalinda smiles at her.
“Anything else forbidden that I should know about?”
“Mmm...making me watch Desperate Housewives ever again. And I hear crystal meth really messes you up.”
“Well there goes my weekend.”
They drive for a few more minutes in a silence that isn’t entirely comfortable. When Kalinda pulls up outside the courthouse, they smile at each other. Alicia plays detective for a few seconds longer, but then she gathers her folders together and puts her hand on the door handle.
“See you later.”
“See you later.”
“You’re coming over at nine? Grace has soccer until eight-thirty, I’m picking her up.”
“Nine it is.”
Alicia looks into her eyes for a few moments, and then reaches out a hand and rests it on her cheek. Not Sprite, probably, but maybe one of the smaller brands, something cheap, he buys them in bulk from Wal-Mart...
“If you asked me tonight, I’d say yes.”
He might have kids, a daughter, the mom buys them for the kids but he steals one now and then...
“Just so we avoid any misunderstandings.” Alicia kisses her softly on the mouth, once, twice. “I love you.”
Kalinda can’t speak. Alicia knows it, too, and her smile is wide and happy, her eyes twinkling.
“I’ll see you tonight.”
Kalinda nods feebly. She watches Alicia as she enters the courthouse, returning her wave before she goes inside. She then sits in her car for 15 minutes, trying very, very hard to think about lemonade.