(no subject)
For some reason I woke up on the wrong side of the bed today. I was just kind of pissed of all day. It may have been fine if I had showered first thing today instead of in the afternoon. Even if I still hadn't, it wouldn't have been half as bad if my damn locker would open the first time I complete the combination instead of making stand there for 10 min. every time I need to open it making me late for class and rehearsals and pissing me off because I can't open the stupid lock. I swear, Im switching it out for a new one. First I would love to take a hammer to school and knock the lock off the locker but then people would think Im violent and have anger management issues.
You know, I don't get angry often. I get sad more often then angry. I prefer the angry. I don't mean evil angry, just pissed off annoyed angry. I know this sounds really bad, but hear me out. Sometimes I feel when I'm sad I just when be like a turtle and cave myself from the world. I don't like being like that. If I'm pissed off, I can complain call someone and cry and keep to myself. Its easier to express frustration versus sadness for me. I suppose that may be true for some or many people.
Funny thing is though, whether I'm sad or upset...a small part of me still thinks it would be nice to have someone that would notice, and I could be mad at them (that's bad, heje) but they would know that Im not mad at them and they would know just how to make me happy or feel better because I sure the hell don't know what to do since I'm so busy being mad or sad, or smad! Haja.
On the bright side, I've been going to the gym more often. I went twice this week. I bought a gym pass for the semester so I kinda forced myself into going more often so I don't waste the little money I have. Good thing I didn't go two days back to back, cause I'm still sore from yesterday. Ooph. I feel more energized and productive after I go to the gym. I got to the rec really fast on bike with the route I took yesterday. I got there in 6 min. I had 10 min til the class started, except I had to turn around and come back home cause I forgot my CatCard and the activity pass. At least I got a good cardio work out from that.
You know, I don't get angry often. I get sad more often then angry. I prefer the angry. I don't mean evil angry, just pissed off annoyed angry. I know this sounds really bad, but hear me out. Sometimes I feel when I'm sad I just when be like a turtle and cave myself from the world. I don't like being like that. If I'm pissed off, I can complain call someone and cry and keep to myself. Its easier to express frustration versus sadness for me. I suppose that may be true for some or many people.
Funny thing is though, whether I'm sad or upset...a small part of me still thinks it would be nice to have someone that would notice, and I could be mad at them (that's bad, heje) but they would know that Im not mad at them and they would know just how to make me happy or feel better because I sure the hell don't know what to do since I'm so busy being mad or sad, or smad! Haja.
On the bright side, I've been going to the gym more often. I went twice this week. I bought a gym pass for the semester so I kinda forced myself into going more often so I don't waste the little money I have. Good thing I didn't go two days back to back, cause I'm still sore from yesterday. Ooph. I feel more energized and productive after I go to the gym. I got to the rec really fast on bike with the route I took yesterday. I got there in 6 min. I had 10 min til the class started, except I had to turn around and come back home cause I forgot my CatCard and the activity pass. At least I got a good cardio work out from that.