(no subject)

[vanillacherrys]

Well journal it seems my life will never really be straigtened out, why, i don't know. I guess the guy i thought he was just is'nt there, and they really want me to know that, so ok i know that, are you happy? Is he happy? Does he care if i'm happy? Do any of you? It's kinda weired last night i had a dream that all night a ghost was whispering in my ear, what does this mean? Where is my life going? it seems that anymore all i have are questions, just swimming around in my brain all day long. I have a plan, i know what i want but it just seems so far away, like in a different time. Perhaps i'm missing something but i don't know what it is. Unfortulently i have noone to blame but myself, i make my life hard, and for no good reason. Maybie every adolecent goes through this self identifying point in their life and does it get harder as the times change or do kids just get more confused? I would like to stop stinking like fast food. I would like to make some new friends, people like me not him. I would like to stop feeling so worn out all the time. I would like to have a man who does'nt hurt me all the time,and on that note i would like a man who does'nt only think about himself and whats good for him.
Well i worked all night and i was dead tired, the ghost kept me up all night, what does it want? I am rapidly completing the fast food world and i hate it, its not me at all but i do it day after day feeling exhastedand for what so i can come home to emptiness. I hope things start to look up, i hope he grows up, but where does hope really get you?
So untill then peace.
~Lindi~