(no subject)
Soooo... let's pretend that I update all the time okie? Okie.
First of all, I need to rant. Bad.
WHEN AM I GOING TO HAVE SOME GOOD LUCK HERE? When? How many years do I have to wait? How long do I have to trudge through my life dreading each day with the fear that something miserable is going to happen or something disastrous is waiting for me right around the corner? Does everyone live their life like that? When did life decide to go from decent and appealing to just plain bad and UNLIVABLE? It only took a few months for every little thing in my life to spiral into the endless abyss of FAILURE. I hate to admit that every aspect of my life is epic fail but it truly and honestly is at this point. Is this some type of horrific phase that all people go through? Will anything ever be right in my life again? Do I honestly need to LOCK MYSELF IN MY ROOM FOR A FEW MONTHS? I'm trying very hard not to have a complete nervous breakdown or say something to someone that I'm going to regret in a few days but it's becoming impossible for me not to be a bitch to everyone and everything. I'm just tired and unhappy. How can anybody live a life like this? I try everyday to think of the positive things in my life... I try so hard but it's almost as if the world is completely against me. I go through a list of positive things every day just to keep myself sane... I'm really not as bad off as some I always tell myself.. but I don't even know. The only thing that can completely erase all of these frustrations is a severely busy night at work where my brain is only focused on that. Everything shuts off and all I am thinking about are the 9 tables I'm waiting on and how Mr. Pete pushed the Merlot cork in too far in again and how A4 has been waiting 15 minutes for their golden crescents that we recently ran out of. I need another mind numbing affect like that. I need loud raging music where it's completely blocking all thought and emotion. I need it badly.
First of all, I need to rant. Bad.
WHEN AM I GOING TO HAVE SOME GOOD LUCK HERE? When? How many years do I have to wait? How long do I have to trudge through my life dreading each day with the fear that something miserable is going to happen or something disastrous is waiting for me right around the corner? Does everyone live their life like that? When did life decide to go from decent and appealing to just plain bad and UNLIVABLE? It only took a few months for every little thing in my life to spiral into the endless abyss of FAILURE. I hate to admit that every aspect of my life is epic fail but it truly and honestly is at this point. Is this some type of horrific phase that all people go through? Will anything ever be right in my life again? Do I honestly need to LOCK MYSELF IN MY ROOM FOR A FEW MONTHS? I'm trying very hard not to have a complete nervous breakdown or say something to someone that I'm going to regret in a few days but it's becoming impossible for me not to be a bitch to everyone and everything. I'm just tired and unhappy. How can anybody live a life like this? I try everyday to think of the positive things in my life... I try so hard but it's almost as if the world is completely against me. I go through a list of positive things every day just to keep myself sane... I'm really not as bad off as some I always tell myself.. but I don't even know. The only thing that can completely erase all of these frustrations is a severely busy night at work where my brain is only focused on that. Everything shuts off and all I am thinking about are the 9 tables I'm waiting on and how Mr. Pete pushed the Merlot cork in too far in again and how A4 has been waiting 15 minutes for their golden crescents that we recently ran out of. I need another mind numbing affect like that. I need loud raging music where it's completely blocking all thought and emotion. I need it badly.