Umm.....
Too much has happened. I realized, I can't go on the way I am. As I was on the bus today, I started thinking about Chris and I....all the good times and how it suddenly went bad with no explanation. I realized, I had never thought about the situation like that. Have I even bothered thinking about it at all?! Bottom line was, he didn't deserve what I did. Why must I always hurt the people I care about? I am so scared of commitment and throughout High School, it was easy to get away with it....Now, it's no longer like that. Yeah, my dad is to blame for the way I am and other people are to blame as well.... But sometimes, I just want to be happy. I want to be able to carry a relationship without all of the sudden loosing interest and having all this bunch of drama! I want to be happy....but I can't. I am scared, I don't want to let my guard down, I don't trust people and then.....I get annoyed. It's the never ending cycle with me.
Now back to my speech preparation.....