(no subject)
I dun know what I can say about today. I am completely and totally stressed out. It started today after school when I got a call from Eric's mom. She sounded really angry and I could tell by the tone of her voice Eric was in trouble. Last time I got a call like this she had called to tell me he had been arrested, that he had been found at school with weed in his wallet and then had be taken to YDC. He was back only a few days later and lukily for him the didn't charge him with possesion of drugs on school grounds, so he only got a year of probabtion. Well about a month or so ago his P.O. had said that he may get early termination to due to his good behavior, to bad he spoke to soon.
No, this time he wasn't on druge again, it wasn't that bad. I think I've finally rid him of that problem, which at only 16 has already damn near destroyed my life, the only thing is I've never even smoked a cigerette. Nothing. No, this time he got caught skipping school, which I had thought he had done a couple of weeks ago due to his sneaky behavior, but he swore to me he wasn't and I believed that. Maybe I shouldn't have because he lied. He finally broke down today and told me he had skipped at least 3-4 times since this semester started. Andrea. his mother, was livid. I think the main reason she was so upset is because she also believes him to be smoking pot again, though I do believe him when he says he hasn't. I will find out soon enough his mom is going to give him a drug test either tonight or tomorrow. It's not that he skipped school that hurts me, it's that he lied about something insignificant. I guess he knows that I just don't want him introuble again. when I asked him today why he lied he replied, "Because I didn't want you to be ashamed of me," and then he started to cry. It breaks my heart when I'm this far away and can't get to him to hold him, or be with him and steal his pain away. I wanna wipe away those tears and tell him it will be okay. Eric wasn't the geek his now before he met me and old habits die hard. He was skipping school to get high and drunk and even drving around in cars like that, even though he knows my mother died in a car reck because she was intoxicated. I dun think him skipping this time was so bad, not as bad as his mom made it out to be but he has to stop, that as well is violation of probation and his mom has been threatening him with calling his PO all night. All he could do when we were on the phone was cry and tell me how sorry he was and that he thought we shouldn't be together any mroe b/c I didn't deserve this. I love him so much. I dun think I could ever live with out him. A little later on tonight I will post the text message conversation we had on the phone about an hour ago. 'Till then I'll be faking sleep deep under the covers waiting on his call just to hear his sweet voice . . . .
"The worst is over now, and we can breathe again, I wanna hold you high and steal my pain away . . .
There's so much left to learn, and no one left find, I wanna hold you high and steal your pain . . . "
-Broken (Amy Lee)