I dontfeel like the joy and the laughter.....
I'm having such a hard time explaining this, even to myself.
I dont understand.
I'm at college.
I miss my family and friends something awful.
But I argued and said no I'm going away to school, im not gonna be another ABHS grad that only goes to community college (not that thers anything wrong with that)
im so stupid
and im not
I like it here
a lot
its interesting
the people are fun
I'm actually learning something in my classes
but i feel like theres a hole in me that isnt being filled
its small sometimes, most of the time actually, and maybe thats because I miss home less
or because im thinking about it less
i hope im not forgetting it...
I want a hug. And not a lame hug, not a goodbye hug, a real meaningful I LOVE YOU hug
I dont feel like I should be telling anyone this because it will either make them upset or i dunno what the or is, but there is one...
i went home last weekend for the first time since labour day
I missed it soooooooooo much
:(
I miss my parents.
which they realized because they kept asking me whats wrong.
waiting in the driveway for my ride to get there to bring me back here they asked me if I wanted to stay
if I wanted to transfer somewhere closer to home
not what I needed to hear
YES
I DO
SOOOOO BADLY I DOO
but i wont.
because this is what your first year of college is about right? Becoming independent, living on your own
getting used to saying goodbye?
does it get easier?
I mean, I know I'm rare in the fact that I get along with my parents well, so obviously I'm going to miss them more
but this much?
theres a black hole on my inside that I want to go away but it wont and I cant make it, because that would mean losing one of two things
my new college "life" or my thoughts of home
should I feel like I'd give up everything I've gained here just to be home for more than 3 days?
whats wrong with me?
why am I so backwards?
I dont understand.
I'm at college.
I miss my family and friends something awful.
But I argued and said no I'm going away to school, im not gonna be another ABHS grad that only goes to community college (not that thers anything wrong with that)
im so stupid
and im not
I like it here
a lot
its interesting
the people are fun
I'm actually learning something in my classes
but i feel like theres a hole in me that isnt being filled
its small sometimes, most of the time actually, and maybe thats because I miss home less
or because im thinking about it less
i hope im not forgetting it...
I want a hug. And not a lame hug, not a goodbye hug, a real meaningful I LOVE YOU hug
I dont feel like I should be telling anyone this because it will either make them upset or i dunno what the or is, but there is one...
i went home last weekend for the first time since labour day
I missed it soooooooooo much
:(
I miss my parents.
which they realized because they kept asking me whats wrong.
waiting in the driveway for my ride to get there to bring me back here they asked me if I wanted to stay
if I wanted to transfer somewhere closer to home
not what I needed to hear
YES
I DO
SOOOOO BADLY I DOO
but i wont.
because this is what your first year of college is about right? Becoming independent, living on your own
getting used to saying goodbye?
does it get easier?
I mean, I know I'm rare in the fact that I get along with my parents well, so obviously I'm going to miss them more
but this much?
theres a black hole on my inside that I want to go away but it wont and I cant make it, because that would mean losing one of two things
my new college "life" or my thoughts of home
should I feel like I'd give up everything I've gained here just to be home for more than 3 days?
whats wrong with me?
why am I so backwards?