I hate Shopping : In which I rant about being fat
Shopping used to be my favorite thing to do, I would spend obscene amounts of money on clothes I didn't need.
Now I go since my clothes have holes in them and I have to get new ones. And I get pissed off and upset the whole time.
Nevermind that plus sized clothing is normally super ugly and over priced ($60 for a fucking shirt?) the trendy stuff tends to be more expensive and not good for work. I feel like you are paying a "fat tax" since in places like Hot Topic sell the same shirts their plus sized sister store have (Torrid), for less money.
Since I did lose some weight, I can get away with getting XLs and if they are strechy and loose styled a large (but thats if I want my boobs popping out). It's still a bitch finding anything I like that is cheap. I ended up hitting some clearance sales and getting some generic black tops for about $10 each. Annndd some shoes from Hot Topic that I have been debating getting for 2 months.
The whole time I was shopping I was just annoyed and angry. Like if I just worked out I would weight less and be able to get better clothes and be able to find my size. I don't really know how much of a difference that would make though since I wasn't happy 25+ pounds heavier, and I wasn't happy when I lost that weight. I think I will always see myself as fat no matter what. Wanting to cry when shopping is a really shitty feeling to have.
It's hard to explain to someone (unless they were overweight their whole life) that being fat just becomes part of you. Like yeah I'm fat, I have always been overweight, I wouldn't even know what to do if I wasn't big. It also gets discouraging that the weight takes so long to come off. My whole family is fat, we were brought up overeating and finishing everything on our plate and then some, and we seem to have goodamned slow metabolism. Then Oxygen (womens fitness mag) did an article on how some people just have to try harder to lose weight and thats the way it is. Which is just outright discouraging. So person A can go on a diet and lose more weight since they are just made for losing weight better, but I will have to do that diet and work out if I want any difference at all.
Also it is fucking annoying if you tell a chubby person they don't need to lose weight, or "don't look that big". Or if you are huge and lose some weight and suddenly everyone says "you look fantastic". No you don't you are just less fat.
Which is what it really comes down to, even though I lost almost 30 lbs and managed to keep it off for a year (biggest weight loss and keeping it off to date) I am still fat. Just less fat. So now I can buy the smallest size in the fat girl store, or the biggest sized clothing in the normal sized store. WOW.
So yeah, this year I am to take off another 30 lbs and keep it off. I gained 7 lbs over X-Mas and lost it all over 9 days. Then lost like 2 more lbs.
Being the smallest size in a plus sized store is like winning the special olympics....
Now I go since my clothes have holes in them and I have to get new ones. And I get pissed off and upset the whole time.
Nevermind that plus sized clothing is normally super ugly and over priced ($60 for a fucking shirt?) the trendy stuff tends to be more expensive and not good for work. I feel like you are paying a "fat tax" since in places like Hot Topic sell the same shirts their plus sized sister store have (Torrid), for less money.
Since I did lose some weight, I can get away with getting XLs and if they are strechy and loose styled a large (but thats if I want my boobs popping out). It's still a bitch finding anything I like that is cheap. I ended up hitting some clearance sales and getting some generic black tops for about $10 each. Annndd some shoes from Hot Topic that I have been debating getting for 2 months.
The whole time I was shopping I was just annoyed and angry. Like if I just worked out I would weight less and be able to get better clothes and be able to find my size. I don't really know how much of a difference that would make though since I wasn't happy 25+ pounds heavier, and I wasn't happy when I lost that weight. I think I will always see myself as fat no matter what. Wanting to cry when shopping is a really shitty feeling to have.
It's hard to explain to someone (unless they were overweight their whole life) that being fat just becomes part of you. Like yeah I'm fat, I have always been overweight, I wouldn't even know what to do if I wasn't big. It also gets discouraging that the weight takes so long to come off. My whole family is fat, we were brought up overeating and finishing everything on our plate and then some, and we seem to have goodamned slow metabolism. Then Oxygen (womens fitness mag) did an article on how some people just have to try harder to lose weight and thats the way it is. Which is just outright discouraging. So person A can go on a diet and lose more weight since they are just made for losing weight better, but I will have to do that diet and work out if I want any difference at all.
Also it is fucking annoying if you tell a chubby person they don't need to lose weight, or "don't look that big". Or if you are huge and lose some weight and suddenly everyone says "you look fantastic". No you don't you are just less fat.
Which is what it really comes down to, even though I lost almost 30 lbs and managed to keep it off for a year (biggest weight loss and keeping it off to date) I am still fat. Just less fat. So now I can buy the smallest size in the fat girl store, or the biggest sized clothing in the normal sized store. WOW.
So yeah, this year I am to take off another 30 lbs and keep it off. I gained 7 lbs over X-Mas and lost it all over 9 days. Then lost like 2 more lbs.
Being the smallest size in a plus sized store is like winning the special olympics....