An Eye for an... Eye? o_O
Hello all. Decided to update again today.
Had to gather alot of energy though.
I've been tired as FUCK. After having all this crap art homework to do and get ready for, giving that 500 point presentation (which I got an 87 on), and then realizing my exams are Wednesday and Thursday, I'm so dead. I plan to do what I have done every year since entering HighSchool. On the last day I shall come home, shuffle to my room, drop my stuff to the floor and then fall face first onto the heavenly confort called my BED. Then I shall sleep until X-Mas, where I will have to go through all the crud with that, and then return to my bed, and sleep for probably another two or three days. And then finally I will emerge and be a bum and hang out with my friends the rest of the break. Sounds good to me. I like hibernating.
Speaking of the whole X-Mas ordeal, I read Glitter's update today and realized I'm sharing the same feeling. I haven't feeling at all in the "spirit" this year. I actually did enjoy the shopping (I do have one or two girly traits) and I gave a few presents to my friends, but I'm just "blah" about everything. I actually still need to get presents for two people, but I told them they were going to have to wait until AFTER X-Mas because I don't have anymore money. And I found that they have the same problem, so it all works out. But this year... I'm just... not all into it. Especially the fact that I have to spend most of my holiday time with MBF's family. Ugh.
And you know what? Victoria's Secret and Fredericks of Hollywood can go suck a dead goat. I haven't gotten any stuff from them so far (Unless I get some for X-Mas?) but you'd think that for lingerie so expensive they can make their crap better! All my bras and panties and the like are falling apart! The straps of my bras dont stay up when they're tightened as much as possible because they stretch out like there's no tomorrow, the material of my bras rip like it was paper and get all funky, and the underwires either break or stick out through the sides and impale my armpits within like a few times of wearing. What the hell? I'm not gonna pay that good of money for stuff that looks nice but doesn't work worth a crap. *shakes fist*
Let's see... what else to rant about...? (For Glitter's pleasure as well as venting... *grin*)
Ah, I know.
I always have weird dreams. I never have a happy, normal dream. There's always something either morbid, weird, or sad going on. I keep having this same dream over and over the last week. And when I wake up I just can't help but sit up and hold my face in my hands and wonder what the hell is going on.
Here's the dream: First of all, I'm pregnant. (Insert chorus of blood-curdeling screams here) and I'm in the hospital and I'm giving birth. Turanis is there and he's trying to smile while I have a deadly vice-grip on his hand and repeatedly threatening his life. Well I'm pushing and then suddenly the doctor starts freaking and ordering the nurses around and I feel this horribly sharp pain down there. Blood starts pouring out from between my legs and I'm in so much pain I can't even speak. Turanis starts screaming at the doctor, asking him what the hell was going on and was in a panic that I couldn't answer him. A male nuirse comes and drags Turanis out and he's screaming and trying to get to me and slamming on the door after the lock him out. The pain got worse and I'm gasping for air and tears start straming down my face and the doctor is trying to do something. I suddenly then knew I was dying. Everythign went blurry and then Turanis slammed his fist through the glass and let himself in and ran to me and I looked at him and choaked out "I'm sorry..." and he was gripping my hand and he started crying and petting my hair and stumbling out "What are you sorry for...?! You're going to be alright! The baby is fine love, it's a little girl... she's beautiful just like her mother... C'mon Washu, it'll be okay... I love you..." And he started sobbing as I gripped his hand one last time and my eyes fell closed and my hand slipped from his.
And then I wake up. My heart pounds in my chest and I just stare out in space. I keep having this same dream of dying during childbirth from hemorrage... I don't know what it's supposed to mean and what it's trying to tell me...
Moving on... enough with the sadness. <<
On MySpace, I decided to do a Search for friends I left in the town I used to live in. And there I found my BEST friend of that time. She and I were inseperable. And though we called each other all the time after I first moved... it gradually stopped. So excitedly, I looked at her profile first to see what she looks like now. It was then I stopped dead in my tracks. Yeah, she's still the beautiful girl I knew... but everything she was wearing showed EVERYTHING. And then I read her profile and it was made of nothing but those glitter messages and random words. And the same message over and over. Let me express what it was. Television: "Why should I watch TV when I can fuck?" Books: "Why should I read when I can fuck?" Movies: "Why should I watch movies when I can fuck?" That was the answer for EVERY SINGLE category. I looked through the collage of glitter messages and she wants to be a pornstar for a career and had this whole thing of how much she loves sex and how she doesn't care what she has to do to get it and who it's with. And everything glittery was related to "Fuck Me", "We should have Sex" and the Playboy Bunny. And I just sat there. Shocked. Numb. I don't know what to think! So instead of just adding her, I sent her a message freaking out that I had found her. I even sent her a pic of me back in the day in case her memory is foggy and told her that she'd probably find me to be ALOT different than I was then. By her logging in record, she gets on weekends usually, so I'll have to wait until then to get some kind of reply. Hopefully. Part of me wants to just leave it be, leave her to what she has become. But it's too late now. But I do hope she remembers me. And I would like to talk to her again. *sighs* I just don't know what happened for her to become such a... slut. *sighs*
Well, gonna go feed Maggie and wait for Mom to get home so I can pass out.
Until next time,
~
Vampire Washu
Had to gather alot of energy though.
I've been tired as FUCK. After having all this crap art homework to do and get ready for, giving that 500 point presentation (which I got an 87 on), and then realizing my exams are Wednesday and Thursday, I'm so dead. I plan to do what I have done every year since entering HighSchool. On the last day I shall come home, shuffle to my room, drop my stuff to the floor and then fall face first onto the heavenly confort called my BED. Then I shall sleep until X-Mas, where I will have to go through all the crud with that, and then return to my bed, and sleep for probably another two or three days. And then finally I will emerge and be a bum and hang out with my friends the rest of the break. Sounds good to me. I like hibernating.
Speaking of the whole X-Mas ordeal, I read Glitter's update today and realized I'm sharing the same feeling. I haven't feeling at all in the "spirit" this year. I actually did enjoy the shopping (I do have one or two girly traits) and I gave a few presents to my friends, but I'm just "blah" about everything. I actually still need to get presents for two people, but I told them they were going to have to wait until AFTER X-Mas because I don't have anymore money. And I found that they have the same problem, so it all works out. But this year... I'm just... not all into it. Especially the fact that I have to spend most of my holiday time with MBF's family. Ugh.
And you know what? Victoria's Secret and Fredericks of Hollywood can go suck a dead goat. I haven't gotten any stuff from them so far (Unless I get some for X-Mas?) but you'd think that for lingerie so expensive they can make their crap better! All my bras and panties and the like are falling apart! The straps of my bras dont stay up when they're tightened as much as possible because they stretch out like there's no tomorrow, the material of my bras rip like it was paper and get all funky, and the underwires either break or stick out through the sides and impale my armpits within like a few times of wearing. What the hell? I'm not gonna pay that good of money for stuff that looks nice but doesn't work worth a crap. *shakes fist*
Let's see... what else to rant about...? (For Glitter's pleasure as well as venting... *grin*)
Ah, I know.
I always have weird dreams. I never have a happy, normal dream. There's always something either morbid, weird, or sad going on. I keep having this same dream over and over the last week. And when I wake up I just can't help but sit up and hold my face in my hands and wonder what the hell is going on.
Here's the dream: First of all, I'm pregnant. (Insert chorus of blood-curdeling screams here) and I'm in the hospital and I'm giving birth. Turanis is there and he's trying to smile while I have a deadly vice-grip on his hand and repeatedly threatening his life. Well I'm pushing and then suddenly the doctor starts freaking and ordering the nurses around and I feel this horribly sharp pain down there. Blood starts pouring out from between my legs and I'm in so much pain I can't even speak. Turanis starts screaming at the doctor, asking him what the hell was going on and was in a panic that I couldn't answer him. A male nuirse comes and drags Turanis out and he's screaming and trying to get to me and slamming on the door after the lock him out. The pain got worse and I'm gasping for air and tears start straming down my face and the doctor is trying to do something. I suddenly then knew I was dying. Everythign went blurry and then Turanis slammed his fist through the glass and let himself in and ran to me and I looked at him and choaked out "I'm sorry..." and he was gripping my hand and he started crying and petting my hair and stumbling out "What are you sorry for...?! You're going to be alright! The baby is fine love, it's a little girl... she's beautiful just like her mother... C'mon Washu, it'll be okay... I love you..." And he started sobbing as I gripped his hand one last time and my eyes fell closed and my hand slipped from his.
And then I wake up. My heart pounds in my chest and I just stare out in space. I keep having this same dream of dying during childbirth from hemorrage... I don't know what it's supposed to mean and what it's trying to tell me...
Moving on... enough with the sadness. <<
On MySpace, I decided to do a Search for friends I left in the town I used to live in. And there I found my BEST friend of that time. She and I were inseperable. And though we called each other all the time after I first moved... it gradually stopped. So excitedly, I looked at her profile first to see what she looks like now. It was then I stopped dead in my tracks. Yeah, she's still the beautiful girl I knew... but everything she was wearing showed EVERYTHING. And then I read her profile and it was made of nothing but those glitter messages and random words. And the same message over and over. Let me express what it was. Television: "Why should I watch TV when I can fuck?" Books: "Why should I read when I can fuck?" Movies: "Why should I watch movies when I can fuck?" That was the answer for EVERY SINGLE category. I looked through the collage of glitter messages and she wants to be a pornstar for a career and had this whole thing of how much she loves sex and how she doesn't care what she has to do to get it and who it's with. And everything glittery was related to "Fuck Me", "We should have Sex" and the Playboy Bunny. And I just sat there. Shocked. Numb. I don't know what to think! So instead of just adding her, I sent her a message freaking out that I had found her. I even sent her a pic of me back in the day in case her memory is foggy and told her that she'd probably find me to be ALOT different than I was then. By her logging in record, she gets on weekends usually, so I'll have to wait until then to get some kind of reply. Hopefully. Part of me wants to just leave it be, leave her to what she has become. But it's too late now. But I do hope she remembers me. And I would like to talk to her again. *sighs* I just don't know what happened for her to become such a... slut. *sighs*
Well, gonna go feed Maggie and wait for Mom to get home so I can pass out.
Until next time,
~
Vampire Washu