If striking people with a spare testicle isn't a positive way to enact change, I don't know what is.
I suppose I have a good reason for never updating this: I just plain have not felt inclined to write about anything. This summer has been completely uneventful, and I'm sure anyone of you who still reads this grows weary of me blathering on to no end about MY POKEMANS and which models I'm wasting my money on and the all of two things I have been doing for three months straight: Jack and shit.
I somewhat wish to try my hand at the ol' satirical writing once again. Lately there are just too many things flying past my radar that make me shake my head in disgust and bewildered amusement and think "Someone really needs to start making fun of that." Advertisers, magazine editors, writers and film makers are getting sloppy and churning out some ridiculous bullshit. It's time someone starts making fun of them.
Sometimes in the break room at work we are provided with magazines to skim through. These magazines are often limited to "high quality" publications such as Teen Beat, People and Cosmopolitan. I try to avoid these magazines usually, as I firmly believe the material contained within is designed to give me testicular cancer or some other horrible disease. A few weeks back, I could not help but glance through the June 2010 Issue of Cosmopolitan, and one of the articles caught my eye: 99 amazing Sex Facts. This is typical fare for Cosmo that involves "spicing up your sex life", and the end result of reading them is always the same: you have to go wash everything you own and never experience arousal again. This article in particular is worthy of attention because most of the facts fall into one of three categories:
1. The Bleeding Obvious
2. Cocktease (Slightly interesting but doesn't give you enough to do anything with it) and
3. Stuff You Never Wanted to Know
Since the entire article is broken down into an ad-filled page for each fact, I'll cut and paste the ones that I'm going to bitch about to spare you the time.
1. Both men and women can have multiple orgasms. But for men to achive one, their first orgasm must occur without ejaculation and without losing their erection.
This falls into both categories 1 and 2; we know women are capable of multiple orgasms, but then it doesn't give you more than "if this happens, men can too!" They don't tell you how to achieve it because I'm fairly sure for the first condition to be fulfilled you have to plug something up with adobe or hot wax, and our anatomy was not exactly designed to handle that without damage. Most people prefer getting through their naughtiness without injury or humiliation, thank you very much.
4. The more orgasms you have, the longer you're likely to live, according to special research from the British Medical Journal.
I don't like the sound of that "special research". It would be more appropriate if it were framed by quotations and given a "wink wink nudge nudge" subtext, and yet it would still be creepy. By the way, they ignore the fact that as you age, the stress of sexual congress becomes more dangerous to your systems. That and it has the unfortunate association with old people gettin' nasty, putting it squarely in Category 3: DO NOT WANT. They also forget that the circumstances of your gettin' some can drastically alter your lifespan, but I guess the effects of jealous spouses or experimentation with dangerous equipment wouldn't fit in their statistics.
5. Experiencing 'butterflies of love' might sound romantic, but in France the phrase 'papillion d'amour' means having pubic lice.
Leave it to the French to mention the one beautiful insect associated with love in a metaphor involving tiny, itchy beetles that nest in your pubes.
6. In order to attract men, many young women in Uganda apply a mixture of herbs to their labia in an attempt to elongate them. (Don't try this at home!)
....because nothing attracts men like labia that droop like the sleeves of a bathrobe. And yet knowing Cosmo's demographic, women are going to try this. They may use more modern methods, like piercings with suspended weights attached. Whatever works for you, sugarbuns.
11. Only 33% of us have actually experienced a G-spot orgasm...
although 80% of us believe they exist, says a survey by www.lovehoney.co.uk
Then would you mind explaining what sort of voodoo magic the other 47% of us have experienced? You have to feel sorry for those poor bastards in the other 20% who don't even believe, though. Maybe it's like fairies, you just have to BELIEVE and it will happen...
14. Why does semen sometimes have a bleach-like smell? It's due to the chemical spermine - a natural disinfectant that buffers the sperm from our vaginal acids.
The implications of this statement are staggering. One of these is rather horrifying and disgusting, but explains the color of a bucket of Clorox. The other? "Henry, I've got a yeast infection again..." "Not to worry, Clair! My natural bleach will fix you up in no time!" Cover your ears boys and girls, I hear that yeast gives off an unearthly scream when they die in this manner.
Let us also ignore the fact that no one ever wants to hear genitals and "acid" mentioned in the same breathe.
15. Priapism is a painful erection that persists after ejaculation. If left untreated, It can result in permanent damage to the penis and even impotence.
Fun science fact: Taking certain medications can also lead to priaprism. Even more fun science fact: So can the bites of poisonous spiders. Even even more fun science fact: The cure for priapism is analogous to poking a hole in a water balloon.
16. Pioneering sex therapists, Masters and Johnson, found that 1% of women surveyed were able to achieve orgasm solely from breast stimulation. Lucky girls!
"Pioneering Sex Therapists". There is no fucking way that could possibly be legal. Especially when your names are "Masters" and "Johnson"; you sound less like professional therapists and more like the names teenagers give themselves in online forums where they sign up to post the word "Penis" ad nauseum. I would ask how they conducted this "survey" but it probably involved a lot of less than subtle encounters in elevators, screaming, and ended when the two of them were clubbed unconscious by Policemen.
17. In Thailand, males are offered free vasectomies on the King's birthday. Often, more than 1,000 are performed in his honour.
Nothing honors your King quite like having yourself surgically sterilized on his birthday. I suppose it ties into the ancient tradition of King's men mostly being eunuchs, or it's one of those cultural traditions that's better left unexplored. I'll tell you this: If Obama thinks I'm getting a vasectomy to honor his Anniversary, he's going to be sorely disappointed.
19. On their wedding night, Roman brides would sit on the lap of a statue of a phallic god with an erection in order to make the first offering of their virginity to him.
The problem with this fact is that it's far too ambiguous and misleading: They imply that there was a penis-shaped God statue that ALSO had an erection, which sounds less romantic and more like something out of a Lovecraftian nightmare. Or a standard Anime series. Also, they aren't clear if the bride is supposed to be offering her virginity to the statue or her husband. From where they're sitting it sounds like it's supposed to be the statue.
22. The biggest erect penis on record is an eye watering 13 inches. according to the Kinsey Institute.
These people have obviously have never been on 4chan and seen the sort of things they've drummed up. You've also gotta love how they throw the phrase "eye watering". They skip the context and instead rely on terrifying implications for many of their facts, which is actually probably not a bad idea in this case. Unless you've got some warped anatomy, 13 inches is going to do some damage.
25. The length of a flaccid penis has no direct correlation to the size of the same penis when erect.
And now you start breaking out the scientific words. Your reader demographic barely knows how to spell "sex", do you really think they're going to understand this? I'll do them a favor and simplify it: "How long yer dong's gon' be when it's all stiff ain't got nothin' to do with how long it's gon' be when floppeh!"
27. Men experience an average of four to five erections during sleep.
Another statistical blurb that really doesn't improve your sex life, but is meant to unsettle you on profound psychological levels. If you're not sure why, think about how they collected this data. Feel that? That's your sanity and psyche destabilizing.
28. Among the nobility in the 18th century in Italy, it was common for a married woman to hire a cicisbeo- a male escort, confidant and lover.
Remember guys, the next time your wife confronts you about that "whore at the office you've been fucking in a motel", because you totally have, drop this on her. What noble women did in 18th Century Italy is completely relevant to 21st century blue collar relationships, so she'll have no choice but to give up! You're home free!
30. In response to the flower and card giving they endure on Valentines Day, American men have crowned 14 March 'Steak and BJ Day', so women can, erm, return the favour!"
No, we haven't, you nasty bastards. Anyone who would declare a day "Steak and BJ Day" is a fantastic fucking scumbag and is hardly representative of every man in our society (strangely enough, a lot of guys at least have SOME decorum). Where the hell are you getting your facts from, Cosmo?
31. Talk about a mood killer! Approximately 40% of dogs sleep with their owners, either on the bed or in the room, says www.petstreet.co.uk
Zoophiles aside, I still doubt that having Rex in the room with them will put anyone off when they're in the mood. Either way, thanks for making the "Man's best friend" dynamic all the more disturbing.
33. Women are more likely to orgasm just before or during their period because the increased blood flow in the pelvic area and natural lubrication increases their pleasure."
This fact implies too many biological functions and fluids crammed into a small area and span of time to possibly be hygienic. I have to go wash everything I own now.
34. Sex is a brilliant beauty treatment - yes, seriously! It helps us produce oestrogen, which makes our hair shiny and our skin glow.
Calm down, you didn't have to affirm your statement to your reader demographic (which consists mainly of lonely idiots with room temperature IQ). I'm willing to bet most of them will take anything you guys print as the word of Jesus himself (Jesus' teachings on Sex were lost from the new testament and have yet to be recovered. Most likely it is kept in a vault in the Vatican and only glanced at when one of the clergy wants one of his choirboys' first time to be extra special).
Go back to fact #4 and think about what that means combined with this interesting tidbit. I guess it's positive feedback: The more times you do the nasty, the longer you live and the more shiny and glow-y you will be. So how long until we start glowing so brightly our partners can see us in the dark? And does that increase the likelihood of increased sexual encounters?
38. Studies suggest vaginal exposure to semen can improve your mood.
Ah, sperm. What can't sperm do for us? Disinfectant, baby maker, estrogen stimulator, and now mood elevator. With all these wonderful functions it has, it's a wonder Pharmaceutical companies haven't started selling the stuff by the jarful as an all-purpose item.
I guess this is where I stop; Cosmo's site is broken completely and doesn't have anything past Fact #39, but if these were any indication, I don't think we want to see the other 61. Thank you, Cosmo, for another article packed full of life-affirming, completely useless, sometimes relevant and often disgusting bits of trivia related to sex. Next month I'm sure we'll see the absolutely enrapturing "Cosmo's 99 Most Sexy Sex Toys" and "Cosmo's 35 Reasons Men Like Boobs" alongside their special pull-out feature: "How To Be A Mindless Whore in Just 10 Days".
Now that that's out of the way, HERE ARE MY POKEMANS. LET ME SHOW U THEM. You get TWO teams because I have played a game of HeartGold and started a new game of Platinum.
HeartGold's first team (Species/Name/Type):
Typhlosion (MR. POKEY)/Fire
Golem (Shiny, SHINYARSE)/Rock-Ground
Lanturn (FISHY)/Electric-Water
Gengar (MR. DERP)/Ghost-Poison
Weavile (BOB)/Dark-Ice
Skarymory (MR. BIRD)/Steel-Flying
I'm rather proud of this team because they lixivated the Elite Four and Champion Lance (Weavile + Ice Punch = One-shot Dragon demise.
Third Platinum Team:
Torterra (HAT)/Grass-Ground: Tilly, I did not entirely steal your Typhlosion's name. Turtwig and his evolutions all look like they wear hats, so it was only logical.
Starmie (POINTY)/Water-Psychic: Replaced a possible Kingdra. I remember Starmie being a lot more dangerous than this one is. It seems be more fast than anything, which is entirely not the point.
Porygon Z (BLARBITORP)/Normal: Blarbitorp's special attack is ludicrous to start with. He also has adaptability, which doubles the power of same type moves. I can't wait to give this bugger Hyper Beam.
Glaceon (MR.PANTS)/Ice: Glaceon is like any of the Eeveelutions in that it does very well for itself, even against types that are strong against it.
Machamp (GEORGE)/Fighting: GEORGE will fuck you straight up, seriously.
Honchkrow (FRED)/Flying-Dark: Despite how fragile Fred is, he's fast and strong enough to not have to worry about being KO'ed much. Mafia crow for the win.
School has started up again; I was considering taking an entire semester off but decided if I do that I'll never want to go back and I'll never finish my teaching license. Therefore, I compromised and took only two classes: Urban Primary Grades 1-3 Curriculum and Practicum, and some class involving information technology where we start setting up our E-folios. This thing is tied to my academic record and will probably give future employers an idea as to my capabilities and philosophy. The Urban Grades class will involve me going into an early primary grade classroom and doing about 10 hours of tutoring or mentoring for a student (apparently) and another 10 hours of assessing the classroom space. And though some people might find it "creepy", I'm hoping I get to work with the kid I did the lesson for back in April. I am not "stalking" him; from the interactions I had with him, it was clear to me that he needs individualized attention, and he wasn't going to get that from the Hamline fuckwits that work in the school. They had already decided he wasn't worth their time. I worry about things like that: children who desperately need some help but aren't getting it, and dumb asses planning on being teachers who bring their biases into the classroom. Some of them aren't even planning on being teachers, they're there for "work study". Pfft. Go do a desk job where you won't adversely affect elementary age students, it'll be good experience for the rest of your life.
On the modeling front: I spent a long weekend when everyone was out of town working on the Majestic, the Kelvin and a custom Gul Tiger. Of course I didn't get them done, and of course I've been too lazy to work on them. I've bought a couple of small non-canon Romulan ships, as well as Starcrafts' new Luna Class model. Federation Models is being rather recalcitrant about getting it out to me, which is unusual for them. Oh well. They've never let me down before.
Since the last post, my Grandma Grostephan was diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer. This was sometime in May, and they gave her three months. Last Friday she had declined so much that they finally decided to put her in the NC Little Hospice, which is where my Grandpa Chucel went before he died. I saw her on Friday, and she seemed to still be lucid and recognize me and everyone else. Since Saturday, she's been completely out of it, but has held on somehow. She can't even open her eyes or eat or sit up anymore, but she's still hanging in there, barely. I'm glad I at least got some closure with her, I got to see her before she declined past lucidity and say goodbyes and all that. I will never be ready to say "oh yeah, it's time to go", because I can't say goodbye to someone who has been a huge part of my life since I was born, not easily. But she had a good life. That's what we should all hope for, that we live good lives and positively touch so many others.
I somewhat wish to try my hand at the ol' satirical writing once again. Lately there are just too many things flying past my radar that make me shake my head in disgust and bewildered amusement and think "Someone really needs to start making fun of that." Advertisers, magazine editors, writers and film makers are getting sloppy and churning out some ridiculous bullshit. It's time someone starts making fun of them.
Sometimes in the break room at work we are provided with magazines to skim through. These magazines are often limited to "high quality" publications such as Teen Beat, People and Cosmopolitan. I try to avoid these magazines usually, as I firmly believe the material contained within is designed to give me testicular cancer or some other horrible disease. A few weeks back, I could not help but glance through the June 2010 Issue of Cosmopolitan, and one of the articles caught my eye: 99 amazing Sex Facts. This is typical fare for Cosmo that involves "spicing up your sex life", and the end result of reading them is always the same: you have to go wash everything you own and never experience arousal again. This article in particular is worthy of attention because most of the facts fall into one of three categories:
1. The Bleeding Obvious
2. Cocktease (Slightly interesting but doesn't give you enough to do anything with it) and
3. Stuff You Never Wanted to Know
Since the entire article is broken down into an ad-filled page for each fact, I'll cut and paste the ones that I'm going to bitch about to spare you the time.
1. Both men and women can have multiple orgasms. But for men to achive one, their first orgasm must occur without ejaculation and without losing their erection.
This falls into both categories 1 and 2; we know women are capable of multiple orgasms, but then it doesn't give you more than "if this happens, men can too!" They don't tell you how to achieve it because I'm fairly sure for the first condition to be fulfilled you have to plug something up with adobe or hot wax, and our anatomy was not exactly designed to handle that without damage. Most people prefer getting through their naughtiness without injury or humiliation, thank you very much.
4. The more orgasms you have, the longer you're likely to live, according to special research from the British Medical Journal.
I don't like the sound of that "special research". It would be more appropriate if it were framed by quotations and given a "wink wink nudge nudge" subtext, and yet it would still be creepy. By the way, they ignore the fact that as you age, the stress of sexual congress becomes more dangerous to your systems. That and it has the unfortunate association with old people gettin' nasty, putting it squarely in Category 3: DO NOT WANT. They also forget that the circumstances of your gettin' some can drastically alter your lifespan, but I guess the effects of jealous spouses or experimentation with dangerous equipment wouldn't fit in their statistics.
5. Experiencing 'butterflies of love' might sound romantic, but in France the phrase 'papillion d'amour' means having pubic lice.
Leave it to the French to mention the one beautiful insect associated with love in a metaphor involving tiny, itchy beetles that nest in your pubes.
6. In order to attract men, many young women in Uganda apply a mixture of herbs to their labia in an attempt to elongate them. (Don't try this at home!)
....because nothing attracts men like labia that droop like the sleeves of a bathrobe. And yet knowing Cosmo's demographic, women are going to try this. They may use more modern methods, like piercings with suspended weights attached. Whatever works for you, sugarbuns.
11. Only 33% of us have actually experienced a G-spot orgasm...
although 80% of us believe they exist, says a survey by www.lovehoney.co.uk
Then would you mind explaining what sort of voodoo magic the other 47% of us have experienced? You have to feel sorry for those poor bastards in the other 20% who don't even believe, though. Maybe it's like fairies, you just have to BELIEVE and it will happen...
14. Why does semen sometimes have a bleach-like smell? It's due to the chemical spermine - a natural disinfectant that buffers the sperm from our vaginal acids.
The implications of this statement are staggering. One of these is rather horrifying and disgusting, but explains the color of a bucket of Clorox. The other? "Henry, I've got a yeast infection again..." "Not to worry, Clair! My natural bleach will fix you up in no time!" Cover your ears boys and girls, I hear that yeast gives off an unearthly scream when they die in this manner.
Let us also ignore the fact that no one ever wants to hear genitals and "acid" mentioned in the same breathe.
15. Priapism is a painful erection that persists after ejaculation. If left untreated, It can result in permanent damage to the penis and even impotence.
Fun science fact: Taking certain medications can also lead to priaprism. Even more fun science fact: So can the bites of poisonous spiders. Even even more fun science fact: The cure for priapism is analogous to poking a hole in a water balloon.
16. Pioneering sex therapists, Masters and Johnson, found that 1% of women surveyed were able to achieve orgasm solely from breast stimulation. Lucky girls!
"Pioneering Sex Therapists". There is no fucking way that could possibly be legal. Especially when your names are "Masters" and "Johnson"; you sound less like professional therapists and more like the names teenagers give themselves in online forums where they sign up to post the word "Penis" ad nauseum. I would ask how they conducted this "survey" but it probably involved a lot of less than subtle encounters in elevators, screaming, and ended when the two of them were clubbed unconscious by Policemen.
17. In Thailand, males are offered free vasectomies on the King's birthday. Often, more than 1,000 are performed in his honour.
Nothing honors your King quite like having yourself surgically sterilized on his birthday. I suppose it ties into the ancient tradition of King's men mostly being eunuchs, or it's one of those cultural traditions that's better left unexplored. I'll tell you this: If Obama thinks I'm getting a vasectomy to honor his Anniversary, he's going to be sorely disappointed.
19. On their wedding night, Roman brides would sit on the lap of a statue of a phallic god with an erection in order to make the first offering of their virginity to him.
The problem with this fact is that it's far too ambiguous and misleading: They imply that there was a penis-shaped God statue that ALSO had an erection, which sounds less romantic and more like something out of a Lovecraftian nightmare. Or a standard Anime series. Also, they aren't clear if the bride is supposed to be offering her virginity to the statue or her husband. From where they're sitting it sounds like it's supposed to be the statue.
22. The biggest erect penis on record is an eye watering 13 inches. according to the Kinsey Institute.
These people have obviously have never been on 4chan and seen the sort of things they've drummed up. You've also gotta love how they throw the phrase "eye watering". They skip the context and instead rely on terrifying implications for many of their facts, which is actually probably not a bad idea in this case. Unless you've got some warped anatomy, 13 inches is going to do some damage.
25. The length of a flaccid penis has no direct correlation to the size of the same penis when erect.
And now you start breaking out the scientific words. Your reader demographic barely knows how to spell "sex", do you really think they're going to understand this? I'll do them a favor and simplify it: "How long yer dong's gon' be when it's all stiff ain't got nothin' to do with how long it's gon' be when floppeh!"
27. Men experience an average of four to five erections during sleep.
Another statistical blurb that really doesn't improve your sex life, but is meant to unsettle you on profound psychological levels. If you're not sure why, think about how they collected this data. Feel that? That's your sanity and psyche destabilizing.
28. Among the nobility in the 18th century in Italy, it was common for a married woman to hire a cicisbeo- a male escort, confidant and lover.
Remember guys, the next time your wife confronts you about that "whore at the office you've been fucking in a motel", because you totally have, drop this on her. What noble women did in 18th Century Italy is completely relevant to 21st century blue collar relationships, so she'll have no choice but to give up! You're home free!
30. In response to the flower and card giving they endure on Valentines Day, American men have crowned 14 March 'Steak and BJ Day', so women can, erm, return the favour!"
No, we haven't, you nasty bastards. Anyone who would declare a day "Steak and BJ Day" is a fantastic fucking scumbag and is hardly representative of every man in our society (strangely enough, a lot of guys at least have SOME decorum). Where the hell are you getting your facts from, Cosmo?
31. Talk about a mood killer! Approximately 40% of dogs sleep with their owners, either on the bed or in the room, says www.petstreet.co.uk
Zoophiles aside, I still doubt that having Rex in the room with them will put anyone off when they're in the mood. Either way, thanks for making the "Man's best friend" dynamic all the more disturbing.
33. Women are more likely to orgasm just before or during their period because the increased blood flow in the pelvic area and natural lubrication increases their pleasure."
This fact implies too many biological functions and fluids crammed into a small area and span of time to possibly be hygienic. I have to go wash everything I own now.
34. Sex is a brilliant beauty treatment - yes, seriously! It helps us produce oestrogen, which makes our hair shiny and our skin glow.
Calm down, you didn't have to affirm your statement to your reader demographic (which consists mainly of lonely idiots with room temperature IQ). I'm willing to bet most of them will take anything you guys print as the word of Jesus himself (Jesus' teachings on Sex were lost from the new testament and have yet to be recovered. Most likely it is kept in a vault in the Vatican and only glanced at when one of the clergy wants one of his choirboys' first time to be extra special).
Go back to fact #4 and think about what that means combined with this interesting tidbit. I guess it's positive feedback: The more times you do the nasty, the longer you live and the more shiny and glow-y you will be. So how long until we start glowing so brightly our partners can see us in the dark? And does that increase the likelihood of increased sexual encounters?
38. Studies suggest vaginal exposure to semen can improve your mood.
Ah, sperm. What can't sperm do for us? Disinfectant, baby maker, estrogen stimulator, and now mood elevator. With all these wonderful functions it has, it's a wonder Pharmaceutical companies haven't started selling the stuff by the jarful as an all-purpose item.
I guess this is where I stop; Cosmo's site is broken completely and doesn't have anything past Fact #39, but if these were any indication, I don't think we want to see the other 61. Thank you, Cosmo, for another article packed full of life-affirming, completely useless, sometimes relevant and often disgusting bits of trivia related to sex. Next month I'm sure we'll see the absolutely enrapturing "Cosmo's 99 Most Sexy Sex Toys" and "Cosmo's 35 Reasons Men Like Boobs" alongside their special pull-out feature: "How To Be A Mindless Whore in Just 10 Days".
Now that that's out of the way, HERE ARE MY POKEMANS. LET ME SHOW U THEM. You get TWO teams because I have played a game of HeartGold and started a new game of Platinum.
HeartGold's first team (Species/Name/Type):
Typhlosion (MR. POKEY)/Fire
Golem (Shiny, SHINYARSE)/Rock-Ground
Lanturn (FISHY)/Electric-Water
Gengar (MR. DERP)/Ghost-Poison
Weavile (BOB)/Dark-Ice
Skarymory (MR. BIRD)/Steel-Flying
I'm rather proud of this team because they lixivated the Elite Four and Champion Lance (Weavile + Ice Punch = One-shot Dragon demise.
Third Platinum Team:
Torterra (HAT)/Grass-Ground: Tilly, I did not entirely steal your Typhlosion's name. Turtwig and his evolutions all look like they wear hats, so it was only logical.
Starmie (POINTY)/Water-Psychic: Replaced a possible Kingdra. I remember Starmie being a lot more dangerous than this one is. It seems be more fast than anything, which is entirely not the point.
Porygon Z (BLARBITORP)/Normal: Blarbitorp's special attack is ludicrous to start with. He also has adaptability, which doubles the power of same type moves. I can't wait to give this bugger Hyper Beam.
Glaceon (MR.PANTS)/Ice: Glaceon is like any of the Eeveelutions in that it does very well for itself, even against types that are strong against it.
Machamp (GEORGE)/Fighting: GEORGE will fuck you straight up, seriously.
Honchkrow (FRED)/Flying-Dark: Despite how fragile Fred is, he's fast and strong enough to not have to worry about being KO'ed much. Mafia crow for the win.
School has started up again; I was considering taking an entire semester off but decided if I do that I'll never want to go back and I'll never finish my teaching license. Therefore, I compromised and took only two classes: Urban Primary Grades 1-3 Curriculum and Practicum, and some class involving information technology where we start setting up our E-folios. This thing is tied to my academic record and will probably give future employers an idea as to my capabilities and philosophy. The Urban Grades class will involve me going into an early primary grade classroom and doing about 10 hours of tutoring or mentoring for a student (apparently) and another 10 hours of assessing the classroom space. And though some people might find it "creepy", I'm hoping I get to work with the kid I did the lesson for back in April. I am not "stalking" him; from the interactions I had with him, it was clear to me that he needs individualized attention, and he wasn't going to get that from the Hamline fuckwits that work in the school. They had already decided he wasn't worth their time. I worry about things like that: children who desperately need some help but aren't getting it, and dumb asses planning on being teachers who bring their biases into the classroom. Some of them aren't even planning on being teachers, they're there for "work study". Pfft. Go do a desk job where you won't adversely affect elementary age students, it'll be good experience for the rest of your life.
On the modeling front: I spent a long weekend when everyone was out of town working on the Majestic, the Kelvin and a custom Gul Tiger. Of course I didn't get them done, and of course I've been too lazy to work on them. I've bought a couple of small non-canon Romulan ships, as well as Starcrafts' new Luna Class model. Federation Models is being rather recalcitrant about getting it out to me, which is unusual for them. Oh well. They've never let me down before.
Since the last post, my Grandma Grostephan was diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer. This was sometime in May, and they gave her three months. Last Friday she had declined so much that they finally decided to put her in the NC Little Hospice, which is where my Grandpa Chucel went before he died. I saw her on Friday, and she seemed to still be lucid and recognize me and everyone else. Since Saturday, she's been completely out of it, but has held on somehow. She can't even open her eyes or eat or sit up anymore, but she's still hanging in there, barely. I'm glad I at least got some closure with her, I got to see her before she declined past lucidity and say goodbyes and all that. I will never be ready to say "oh yeah, it's time to go", because I can't say goodbye to someone who has been a huge part of my life since I was born, not easily. But she had a good life. That's what we should all hope for, that we live good lives and positively touch so many others.