Have you ever sat on a piece of gothic architecture for 200 years? Gets right up your arse you know.
Meme taken from baphijmm:
1. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random
The first article title on the page is the name of your band.
2. http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3
The last four words of the very last quote is the title of your album.
3. http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days/
The third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.
4.Use your graphics program of choice to throw them together, and post the result as a comment in this post. Also, pass it along in your own journal because it's more amusing that way. (You don't have to if you don't want to.)
Battle of Stalingrad
"Refuge of a Scoundrel"
The photo:
Stolen from someone on Flickr.
Somehow much improved at a smaller size and not red font. This took me far too long to be healthy, but by gum I wanted to do it.
To be honest, yes I did cheat. It's not my fault that none of the quotes would have sounded right until I found one at random, nor is it my fault that Flickr has very few metal-esque photos. Jerks. You're just lucky I couldn't use the coffee squirrel.
Brilliant, self. Buy two books for Wednesday's afternoon class, then forget them at home. Idiot. Alas, we didn't use them on the first day. Also brilliant, show up an hour late for the first class period of Geography... which also got out 40 minutes early. And furthermore... check the number of the bus before you get on. We don't know where the fucking 61 goes, it's just lucky the driver stopped near a stop for the 74.
Word to the wise, do not eat garlic pretzel rods before sleep, unless you like waking up with your mouth all gummy and everything smelling and feeling heinous... or if you like breaking wind that could retroactively sink the Bismarck.
Have you noticed how boring it is when someone just gives you a precise chronology of events during their day, and that's all they do? That why I don't do it very often. "I leik, had a sammish. Then I took a poops out in the snobanx. Then I leik had naps and dreamed of makin' sexy with Orlando Blomm umg he is so hawt. Then I leik woke up and took another poops..." Boring nonsense, all of it.
Fuck you Rareware, for being so fucking funny. I know Conker's Bad Fur Day was released in 2001 or summat and I'm sure most people will bitch about juvenile humour and outdated movie parodies, but I say fuck them. If assholes saying "Show me the money!" or "Is that your final answer?" can still be funny to the cretinous masses 10 years after these phrases fizzled out of popularity, then no one has any right to be a critic. Where was I? Oh yes. With this, Rare has made a game that captures the kiddy essence of their other hits (Banjo Kazooie, Donkey Kong Country), only adds in all the bodily fluids, blood, gore, sex, Nazi teddy bears, and foul language that you ever possibly want. Normally, that would just be crass. Given Rareware's British sense of humour, they have managed to make a game that is rather like a playable Terry Pratchett novel, only much more random and disgusting. I love it. Favorite characters include Birdie, the I-don't-know-what's-wrong-with-him Scarecrow; Ze Professor, the inventor of Anti-Gravity Chocolate who holds a justifiable fear of duct tape; and Gregg the vertically challenged Grim Reaper. There's still plenty of shit to come, this stuff was just in the first hour of the game.
Gregg (In deep voice): Conker. Conker! Conker!! Yes, you boy. You're dead. You are dead! Dead as a Dodo. Deader than a...
*Gregg walks out holding megaphone as the megaphone stops working properly*
Gregg: I can't be arsed with this bloody ridiculous contraption. Whose idea was this anyway? Right. Hello. Um, my name's Gregg, the Grim Reaper and don't laugh!
Conker: Aren't you a little short to be a grim reaper?
Gregg: Well, how many grim reapers have you met before mate? What am I supposed to look like?
Conker: Yeah. Good point and well made.
Gregg: Now. Let's see...
*Scroll appears in front of Gregg*
Gregg: Ah. Yes. Conker... surname?
Conker: The squirrel.
Gregg: The squirrel...the..
*Scroll vanishes*
Gregg: Oh bloody hell you would have to be a sodding squirrel wouldn't you?
Conker: Why, is there a problem with that?
Gregg: Well, yes there is, actually. It's like those bloody cats. Such a pain in the arse. You're one of these "special cases."
Conker: Oh really.
Gregg: Yes. Apparently according to the powers that be...I'm just doing my job. I do what I'm told. I don't even get paid very much. Apparently, squirrels can have as many lives as they think they can get away with.
Conker: Oh. I see. So, I'm not dead.
Gregg: You're dead...but not...quite...
Conker: Huh. Right. Well, uh, I'll be off then.
*Conker starts to walk off*
Gregg: JUST YOU WAIT!
*Greg brings his scythe down in front of Conker's path*
Gregg: Smart arse. You don't get out of it that easily. Now. The thing is, you may not be dead, but that doesn't mean you can't die. You just have a few more....shall we say...chances. Yes. Like cats. I hate those things! Distributed around your little world are these tail things. Squirrels' tails. If you can get them, I'll give you an extra hance.
Understand?
Conker: Um..well, sounds a bit strange, but okay.
Gregg: STRANGE? It's the best bloody deal you're going to get you little prick. Right. That's it. Piss off. I've got some cats to see.
Gregg: *walks off muttering* Bloody things. I hate those bloody cats. They way they meow and they piss everywhere, and their shit smells just bloody awful, all over my furniture...
Did I mention that Gregg sounds exactly like Begley the Squirrel?
I don't know what is more insane than the fact that someone took the time to transcribe the entire game. Possibly the fact that in this game, the only word censored is any conjugation of "fuck", and this was for the Nintendo 64; possibly the most kid friendly system ever. Yet, the port for the toutedly mature Xbox censored even minor words. Brilliant. It probably reflects on the whiny pussbag mentality people have embraced, where they bitch to networks over the most minor of offences. "Oh noes, it will scar teh childrens!" PARENT YOUR DAMN CHILDREN YOURSELF, DOUCHES. I don't want to get into that. If they really wanted to protect their children, they would protest the fact that there will be another High School Musical movie. That sort of movie with that sort of cast is everything wrong with television and cinema, and I'm sure listening to Zac Efron and the rest of those twats singing "UMG IT'S SUMMER" in their obnoxiously tanned, cheerful, bland way is far more damaging to your precious children than a few naughty words.
Sometimes, I will admit, there is a neat scene in a Harry Potter movie. Because I like the Final Fantasies for their swirly magicks and Summons, I do somewhat like the scene where Voldemort and Dumbledore are flinging all sorts of shit at each other in Order of the Phoenix... but then you have to consider that the battle takes place between a geriatric wizard who turns glass into snowflakes and a nose-less, hairless creature that constantly stalks children, particularly one child who fails every time he fights this... thing, despite the fact that his parents live in his wand and he melted that evil professor with his almighty "wuv" powers. Add in the fact that they use wands... and then it just seems life-endingly fruity. I take back the first two sentences, except for the part about Final Fantasy. Those goddamn kids spent the first two movies learning how to levitate a feather and stick their wands up a troll's nose... took 'em this long to get to the half decent spells. Fail.
Shippo is quite clearly a boy, as he has enormous... you knows. I still can't tell what my baby is, but I'm beginning to think it is indeed a female. Therein lies the problem; all the names I thought up were male names, so now I have to find something either feminine or ambiguous. It's been almost a month since we got them, why the hell can't I decide on a name? Options that presented themselves, seemed like a good idea, then promptly threw up in the punch, pissed themselves and fell over singing about goblins: Ratchet, Andromeda, Hephaestus, Callisto, among others. I've had so many goddamn ideas I can't keep track. I call upon you lot for help. Remember, it must be ambiguous names.
Is anyone else as tired of this Whopper freakout shit as I am? I don't know if they're faked or not, it's obnoxious that they're trying to prove that their pig rectum sammish is more desirable than McDonald's similar arsehole sammich. That, and anyone who goes that out of their minds over a sandwich needs to be shot.
I would've been able to sleep tonight, if not for the fact that I woke up a half hour after dozing off with some nasty heartburn and croc butter shit going on... and the fact that she was out here cleaning the gotdamn pet cages at that stupid hour, as opposed to before everyone goes to bed. Idiot. I really don't want to go to works. This weekend I have a 20 question take home exam and at least twelve chapters of reading to do. Fuck.
"Duct tape... I'll give him a duct tape... fucking arsehole! I'll come down here... I'll show him where the duct tape is... I'll show him where to stuff it! Stupid fucker... All I do all day is try and sort his stupid fucking problems out! Asshole, I fucking hate that fucker! Anyway, vat ver ve? Ze milk, ze milk, ze table, ze table! (looks at the Anti-Gravity Chocolate) Vat shall ve do vit zis? Clean slate, ja. Clean slate. Anti-Gravity Chocolate... is kinda vurking! Ah, zat vill do... Out the fucking vindow vit zat!"-Ze Professor
1. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random
The first article title on the page is the name of your band.
2. http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3
The last four words of the very last quote is the title of your album.
3. http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days/
The third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.
4.Use your graphics program of choice to throw them together, and post the result as a comment in this post. Also, pass it along in your own journal because it's more amusing that way. (You don't have to if you don't want to.)
Battle of Stalingrad
"Refuge of a Scoundrel"
The photo:
Stolen from someone on Flickr.
Somehow much improved at a smaller size and not red font. This took me far too long to be healthy, but by gum I wanted to do it.
To be honest, yes I did cheat. It's not my fault that none of the quotes would have sounded right until I found one at random, nor is it my fault that Flickr has very few metal-esque photos. Jerks. You're just lucky I couldn't use the coffee squirrel.
Brilliant, self. Buy two books for Wednesday's afternoon class, then forget them at home. Idiot. Alas, we didn't use them on the first day. Also brilliant, show up an hour late for the first class period of Geography... which also got out 40 minutes early. And furthermore... check the number of the bus before you get on. We don't know where the fucking 61 goes, it's just lucky the driver stopped near a stop for the 74.
Word to the wise, do not eat garlic pretzel rods before sleep, unless you like waking up with your mouth all gummy and everything smelling and feeling heinous... or if you like breaking wind that could retroactively sink the Bismarck.
Have you noticed how boring it is when someone just gives you a precise chronology of events during their day, and that's all they do? That why I don't do it very often. "I leik, had a sammish. Then I took a poops out in the snobanx. Then I leik had naps and dreamed of makin' sexy with Orlando Blomm umg he is so hawt. Then I leik woke up and took another poops..." Boring nonsense, all of it.
Fuck you Rareware, for being so fucking funny. I know Conker's Bad Fur Day was released in 2001 or summat and I'm sure most people will bitch about juvenile humour and outdated movie parodies, but I say fuck them. If assholes saying "Show me the money!" or "Is that your final answer?" can still be funny to the cretinous masses 10 years after these phrases fizzled out of popularity, then no one has any right to be a critic. Where was I? Oh yes. With this, Rare has made a game that captures the kiddy essence of their other hits (Banjo Kazooie, Donkey Kong Country), only adds in all the bodily fluids, blood, gore, sex, Nazi teddy bears, and foul language that you ever possibly want. Normally, that would just be crass. Given Rareware's British sense of humour, they have managed to make a game that is rather like a playable Terry Pratchett novel, only much more random and disgusting. I love it. Favorite characters include Birdie, the I-don't-know-what's-wrong-with-him Scarecrow; Ze Professor, the inventor of Anti-Gravity Chocolate who holds a justifiable fear of duct tape; and Gregg the vertically challenged Grim Reaper. There's still plenty of shit to come, this stuff was just in the first hour of the game.
Gregg (In deep voice): Conker. Conker! Conker!! Yes, you boy. You're dead. You are dead! Dead as a Dodo. Deader than a...
*Gregg walks out holding megaphone as the megaphone stops working properly*
Gregg: I can't be arsed with this bloody ridiculous contraption. Whose idea was this anyway? Right. Hello. Um, my name's Gregg, the Grim Reaper and don't laugh!
Conker: Aren't you a little short to be a grim reaper?
Gregg: Well, how many grim reapers have you met before mate? What am I supposed to look like?
Conker: Yeah. Good point and well made.
Gregg: Now. Let's see...
*Scroll appears in front of Gregg*
Gregg: Ah. Yes. Conker... surname?
Conker: The squirrel.
Gregg: The squirrel...the..
*Scroll vanishes*
Gregg: Oh bloody hell you would have to be a sodding squirrel wouldn't you?
Conker: Why, is there a problem with that?
Gregg: Well, yes there is, actually. It's like those bloody cats. Such a pain in the arse. You're one of these "special cases."
Conker: Oh really.
Gregg: Yes. Apparently according to the powers that be...I'm just doing my job. I do what I'm told. I don't even get paid very much. Apparently, squirrels can have as many lives as they think they can get away with.
Conker: Oh. I see. So, I'm not dead.
Gregg: You're dead...but not...quite...
Conker: Huh. Right. Well, uh, I'll be off then.
*Conker starts to walk off*
Gregg: JUST YOU WAIT!
*Greg brings his scythe down in front of Conker's path*
Gregg: Smart arse. You don't get out of it that easily. Now. The thing is, you may not be dead, but that doesn't mean you can't die. You just have a few more....shall we say...chances. Yes. Like cats. I hate those things! Distributed around your little world are these tail things. Squirrels' tails. If you can get them, I'll give you an extra hance.
Understand?
Conker: Um..well, sounds a bit strange, but okay.
Gregg: STRANGE? It's the best bloody deal you're going to get you little prick. Right. That's it. Piss off. I've got some cats to see.
Gregg: *walks off muttering* Bloody things. I hate those bloody cats. They way they meow and they piss everywhere, and their shit smells just bloody awful, all over my furniture...
Did I mention that Gregg sounds exactly like Begley the Squirrel?
I don't know what is more insane than the fact that someone took the time to transcribe the entire game. Possibly the fact that in this game, the only word censored is any conjugation of "fuck", and this was for the Nintendo 64; possibly the most kid friendly system ever. Yet, the port for the toutedly mature Xbox censored even minor words. Brilliant. It probably reflects on the whiny pussbag mentality people have embraced, where they bitch to networks over the most minor of offences. "Oh noes, it will scar teh childrens!" PARENT YOUR DAMN CHILDREN YOURSELF, DOUCHES. I don't want to get into that. If they really wanted to protect their children, they would protest the fact that there will be another High School Musical movie. That sort of movie with that sort of cast is everything wrong with television and cinema, and I'm sure listening to Zac Efron and the rest of those twats singing "UMG IT'S SUMMER" in their obnoxiously tanned, cheerful, bland way is far more damaging to your precious children than a few naughty words.
Sometimes, I will admit, there is a neat scene in a Harry Potter movie. Because I like the Final Fantasies for their swirly magicks and Summons, I do somewhat like the scene where Voldemort and Dumbledore are flinging all sorts of shit at each other in Order of the Phoenix... but then you have to consider that the battle takes place between a geriatric wizard who turns glass into snowflakes and a nose-less, hairless creature that constantly stalks children, particularly one child who fails every time he fights this... thing, despite the fact that his parents live in his wand and he melted that evil professor with his almighty "wuv" powers. Add in the fact that they use wands... and then it just seems life-endingly fruity. I take back the first two sentences, except for the part about Final Fantasy. Those goddamn kids spent the first two movies learning how to levitate a feather and stick their wands up a troll's nose... took 'em this long to get to the half decent spells. Fail.
Shippo is quite clearly a boy, as he has enormous... you knows. I still can't tell what my baby is, but I'm beginning to think it is indeed a female. Therein lies the problem; all the names I thought up were male names, so now I have to find something either feminine or ambiguous. It's been almost a month since we got them, why the hell can't I decide on a name? Options that presented themselves, seemed like a good idea, then promptly threw up in the punch, pissed themselves and fell over singing about goblins: Ratchet, Andromeda, Hephaestus, Callisto, among others. I've had so many goddamn ideas I can't keep track. I call upon you lot for help. Remember, it must be ambiguous names.
Is anyone else as tired of this Whopper freakout shit as I am? I don't know if they're faked or not, it's obnoxious that they're trying to prove that their pig rectum sammish is more desirable than McDonald's similar arsehole sammich. That, and anyone who goes that out of their minds over a sandwich needs to be shot.
I would've been able to sleep tonight, if not for the fact that I woke up a half hour after dozing off with some nasty heartburn and croc butter shit going on... and the fact that she was out here cleaning the gotdamn pet cages at that stupid hour, as opposed to before everyone goes to bed. Idiot. I really don't want to go to works. This weekend I have a 20 question take home exam and at least twelve chapters of reading to do. Fuck.
"Duct tape... I'll give him a duct tape... fucking arsehole! I'll come down here... I'll show him where the duct tape is... I'll show him where to stuff it! Stupid fucker... All I do all day is try and sort his stupid fucking problems out! Asshole, I fucking hate that fucker! Anyway, vat ver ve? Ze milk, ze milk, ze table, ze table! (looks at the Anti-Gravity Chocolate) Vat shall ve do vit zis? Clean slate, ja. Clean slate. Anti-Gravity Chocolate... is kinda vurking! Ah, zat vill do... Out the fucking vindow vit zat!"-Ze Professor