Hello God, It's me Kristanie.
I picked the wrong week for self review. I'm bleeding from my vagina and ultimately, instead of normal PMS, I feel psychotic.
I left my shades at Hanna's house which means I will never see my 8 dollar shades again. Reason this upsets me.... I don't buy actual things for myself very often. When I do. I treasure them.
I worked a nine and a half hour shift today at the Bookstore.
I go to Hannas to find her not there, shes not answering her phone, only to run into her brother and his stupid friend I fucked.
After asking for my shades and the disappointing answers, mainly from asshole. I sit for a minute. I return to the tv room for my shoes. At this point 'I'm an Insane Lady PMS Crazy' kicked in and all I wanted to do is be home. Asshole dairy has to say something stupid about me working nine hours.
"Thats nothing try working nine hours, then staying awake for nine hours, then going back to work."
My reaction was, "Maybe I will." and I left.
Me screaming.... more like DMX growling and crying on my way home these are my thoughts.
"Try standing nine hours putting up with shitty costumers and employees while wearing a skirt. You're bleeding out of your vagina to top this off so you are horribly uncomfortable. The only reason you are wearing this stupid skirt is to attract and please stupid motherfuckers like you. Because "god help me" you are a dude and I am a chick and that probably is the sole reason why."
These thoughts lead to other things.... Things that I could have said to hurt his feelings. Something along the lines of, "You have an extremely small penis. So small that if you we're not Asian I would think it abnormal. Sex with you isn't even really sex. It's more like we're just laying around naked with each other. That's how bad it was."
Now, I didn't say any of this to his face. I wanted to. I was really really angry. Now that I'm calm. I still feel the same way and it's all true, but reflecting, this is all just PMS. But honestly, I can't help but feel a lil regret.
Why did I ever like that guy why did I sleep with him. He disgusted and angered me so much all in a moment, for not even acknowledging me, at least not properly. It leads me to things I liked about that 'character' I talked to not too long ago.
He was better at certain things and there was an acknowledgment that I liked, even though that same acknowledgment got him into trouble.
Yes, I'm wearing this skirt. Its good for summer days, but im not going to lie. I wear it cause I want you to look at me in it.
This could mean two things, some people may think both.
You have a low self esteem and need reassurance from people around you. OR You are confident in your self and you are using what you have to get what you want.
I think a feel both.
There are days when I like dairy and there are days when I strongly dislike him. But honestly, Hes a good guy, he'd be an alright boyfriend, but there are things that i'm not sure he's ok with, that I'm really ok with. Which brings me to other things about myself, that i'm still having difficulty bringing to the table.
It's funny, but it's serious, and its difficult.
I left my shades at Hanna's house which means I will never see my 8 dollar shades again. Reason this upsets me.... I don't buy actual things for myself very often. When I do. I treasure them.
I worked a nine and a half hour shift today at the Bookstore.
I go to Hannas to find her not there, shes not answering her phone, only to run into her brother and his stupid friend I fucked.
After asking for my shades and the disappointing answers, mainly from asshole. I sit for a minute. I return to the tv room for my shoes. At this point 'I'm an Insane Lady PMS Crazy' kicked in and all I wanted to do is be home. Asshole dairy has to say something stupid about me working nine hours.
"Thats nothing try working nine hours, then staying awake for nine hours, then going back to work."
My reaction was, "Maybe I will." and I left.
Me screaming.... more like DMX growling and crying on my way home these are my thoughts.
"Try standing nine hours putting up with shitty costumers and employees while wearing a skirt. You're bleeding out of your vagina to top this off so you are horribly uncomfortable. The only reason you are wearing this stupid skirt is to attract and please stupid motherfuckers like you. Because "god help me" you are a dude and I am a chick and that probably is the sole reason why."
These thoughts lead to other things.... Things that I could have said to hurt his feelings. Something along the lines of, "You have an extremely small penis. So small that if you we're not Asian I would think it abnormal. Sex with you isn't even really sex. It's more like we're just laying around naked with each other. That's how bad it was."
Now, I didn't say any of this to his face. I wanted to. I was really really angry. Now that I'm calm. I still feel the same way and it's all true, but reflecting, this is all just PMS. But honestly, I can't help but feel a lil regret.
Why did I ever like that guy why did I sleep with him. He disgusted and angered me so much all in a moment, for not even acknowledging me, at least not properly. It leads me to things I liked about that 'character' I talked to not too long ago.
He was better at certain things and there was an acknowledgment that I liked, even though that same acknowledgment got him into trouble.
Yes, I'm wearing this skirt. Its good for summer days, but im not going to lie. I wear it cause I want you to look at me in it.
This could mean two things, some people may think both.
You have a low self esteem and need reassurance from people around you. OR You are confident in your self and you are using what you have to get what you want.
I think a feel both.
There are days when I like dairy and there are days when I strongly dislike him. But honestly, Hes a good guy, he'd be an alright boyfriend, but there are things that i'm not sure he's ok with, that I'm really ok with. Which brings me to other things about myself, that i'm still having difficulty bringing to the table.
It's funny, but it's serious, and its difficult.