Colorado Avalanche 2011-2012: The Defense and Goalies
~*~ Defense ~*~
Name: Ryan O'Byrne
Alias: OB, Burner
Number: 3
Super Powers: Ignoring all injury
@ryanobyrne84
Ryan O’Byrne is awesomesauce, even though that’s Ryan Wilson’s thing. Hence this hit on Chara.
O’Byrne is a defensive defensemen and considers his role to be blocking shots and penalty kill. He’s not concerned with making a lot of points, and he says he patterns his play off big, physical defensemen like Adam Foote and Chris Pronger. It’s funny that he’s so firm about his role on the Avs, because when he was traded from the Habs the main reason was because they couldn’t find a definite role for him there.
WARNING: HOCKEY RELATED INJURY OF THE BLOODY AND GROSS TYPE.
He gets nailed by Taylor Hall’s skate, and then keeps playing the rest of his shift.
He had to talk out of one side of his mouth for months afterwards.
I love how affectionate he is when he talks about John Michael yelling at him to get off the ice, though.
He is still mind numbingly gorgeous.
John Michael was his d-partner while they played together, and they’re still bffs.
Sometimes they tease each other, like this time:
Of course O’Byrne retweeted it, because they both recognize how annoying asking celebs/sports people for retweets can be.
He seems to have a weird thing for Steve Jobs, based on this retweet and him including Jobs’ biography with his Avs Better Halves Christmas tree.
Sometimes he and Kyle Keefe take art classes together. I’m guessing it’s a player/reporter bonding thing.
Ryan O’Byrne painting
He went to Cornell and likes to give David Jones shit about it. So what if Dr. Seuss went to Dartmouth? Cornell has them beat. They have Bill Nye the Science Guy.
One time in 2008 he was arrested in Tampa Bay after stealing a woman’s purse. That’s not the best part. The best part was how he was caught making a phone call with her stolen phone. Boys, boys. If you are going to commit petty theft the least you can do is not be bad at it. What, did the NHL not pay you enough?
He of course takes part in the Avs twitter war, although not as much as some of the others.
Sometimes Peter McNabb gets him confused and calls him Shane O’Byrne, like at the Phoenix game.
On the road he rooms with Semyon Varlamov, and he’s apparently single (How is this, ladies? Did he steal your purse?)
I will just leave this here for inspiration purposes.
Name: Shane O’Brien
Alias: The other Irish dude
Number: 5
Super Powers: Playoff appearances
@shaneobrien55
Shane O'Brien has a ton of playoff experience, second only to Hejduk and Giguere, despite being 6 years younger.
Gabe likes teasing Shane a lot.
I think he can handle it, though.
60 Seconds with Shane O’Brien
He formerly played with Giguere in Anaheim, and was cruelly traded to the Lightning at the deadline the year the Ducks won their Stanley Cup. This ensured that no one under the age of 35 has a Stanley Cup ring on the Avs roster. He did some bouncing then, had some disciplinary problems with the Canucks and ended up in Nashville. And then he became an Avalanche, like a travelling ball of inexplicable charisma.
For some unknowable, cosmic reason he seems to be in every Avalanche ice photo ever taken. I think he gets a full 60 mins of ice time or something.
Sometimes he’s pretty awesome.
He currently rooms with Jay McClement, and we hope he’ll settle down here for a while. Lookit that face.
Name: Erik Johnson
Alias: EJ, Edge
Number: 6
Super Powers: Highest draft pick on the roster
Luckily for Erik Johnson he has yet to do anything to make me care about him, because he’s our bland baby Crosby knockoff, or maybe he just really hates speaking to Colorado's media. I wouldn't blame him. He’s the player the Avs traded a ton of people for. Blues fans can tell you all about him, while I am over here waiting for him to do something interesting. He’s American! He was a #1 draft pick! One of the very few!
He does have cute dogs, including this one. I believe there are 3 at this point. Don't quote me on that.
Name: Ryan Wilson
Alias: Sauce, Redundant Ryan
Number: 44
Super Powers: Awesomesauce
Ryan Wilson is one of the Avs’s really good d-men this year. I have the world’s most random assortment of factoids about him which include that his father and step father both passed away, so he drags his older brother to mentor/father trips, he has a lot of fangirls, and his curls are adorable.
Name: Jan Hejda
Alias: Hejda-Not-Hejduk
Number: 8
Super Powers: Super Euro Powers
Jan Hejda is one of the recently acquired huge blueliners the Avs were obsessed with during the off season. He’s not interviewed much so I can’t claim to have any opinion on him. Except that he’s by far the most ‘Euro’ of all the Avs players, and when you have Varly on your team that’s saying something.
Lobs: I love the three guys in back with their own facial-expression-opinions on what's going on in front of them
Me: HOW DID I NOT NOTICE THEM.
Lobs: THEY HAVE SO MANY OPINIONS
Profile: Jan Hejda
Name: Matt Hunwick
Alias: Hunny
Number: 22
Super Powers: Versatility
Hunny sometimes plays as a forward for the Avalanche. After being a healthy scratch through most of the season he's getting a good amount of ice time now. It appears that #freehunwick was successful.
Check out this goal. He was awesome.
He was a Bruin. He took this photo.
He is the baby on the bottom far right, in case you are like me and don’t know the Bruins very well.
I have no idea, guys. None.
I do have the lingering suspicion that he is 14, though.
Name: Joel Chouinard
Alias:
Number: 2
Super Power:
Farm Report
Okay, the only reason I included Joel Chouinard is that he is really, really hot. He needs to join the roster just to raise our hotness quotient even higher. #shallow #dontcare #allthehotdmen
~*~Goalies~*~
Name: Semyon Varlamov
Alias: Varly, that Russian dude whose name Joe Sacco couldn’t get right
Number: 1
Super Powers: Unibrow of Distraction
Varlamov came to the Avalanche July 1st 2011 in a trade with the Capitals in which the Avalanche gave them draft picks, and they gave us our token Russian.
He did this commercial with Ovechkin, and you only get to see him for like, 16 seconds but watching him carry his enormous goalie pads is worth the price of admission.
I apologize for the fact that Sacco seems to think his name is "Varlarmov"
He will forever be known as 'Can't Dance, Tight Pants'.
As everyone probably knows his KHL team was Lokomotiv, and when the plane accident happened it hit him really hard.
His mother has been staying with him since December, and he was looking forward to her vareniki, which are a sort of dumpling that he’s not good at cooking. The rest of the team hope that she’s willing to cook for them too.
"For sure, I know she won't mind. She likes everybody to be happy and well fed."
He was the youngest person on Team Russia, or whatever they call their team, during the 2010 Olympics and was basically the backup’s backup. Sorry, Varly.
He has a truly lovely eyebrow.
The problem being that he’s supposed to have two of them.
He does, however, have a really, really hot goalie stare.
He has the most adorable laugh in the Avs roster. If you could package his laugh I am sure we could use it to broker world peace, or at least stun people long enough to subdue them.
He rooms with Ryan O’Byrne and according to OB has control of the remote.
"I don’t really know what he understands, what he doesn't understand. If he wants to look at pictures or what he wants to look at, so I usually just give him the channel changer."
I like watching goalies skate.
Sometimes Varly makes really nifty saves.
He’s an absolute beast in shootouts, allowing only 2 goals in shootouts this season.
Varlamov shares goalie duties with former (Mighty!) Duck and Maple Leaf Jean-Sebastien Giguere. Initially Giguere was intended to be the backup and relief for Varly, but in December and January he was increasingly in the starting goalie position. At least until he got hurt.
Our goalies have a thing where they lurk in the background and try to kill each other with their eyes.
I lied in the disclaimer. This photo is totally mine, taken at the one game I made it to this year. You can tell because it’s bad.
Both of them are capable of really awesome saves.
I have no clue what is going on but Kes is going nowhere if Varly has anything to say with it.
I’m actually really surprised this isn’t some sort of Brokeback Mountain macro (only not, because no one in their right mind would do such a thing)
It is a sanitary apron tying conga line.
Bendy goalie being bendy.
"He always wants to be around his teammates. When you're calling guys to go out to dinner on the road, you always want to call Varly," Johnson said. "He's a fun guy to be around. His English is better, so that's helped him some too."
Name: Jean-Sébastien Giguère
Alias: JS, Jiggy
Number: 35
Super Powers: Surviving severe water loss
Not Alias: Giggy.
Repeat after me: his helmet reads 'Jiggy'. I am making an assumption that he knows how to spell his own nickname.
(Yes, the Avs do play "Gettin Jiggy Wit it" whenever Giguere makes a really phenomenal play. No, they don't care that it's lame.)
Jean-Sebastien Giguere is our other goalie. People really need to get with the program and realize what a DILF he is.
Also, pretty much the only person on our team with a Stanley Cup win. All the Stanley Cups to all the Old Dudes.
I dare him and Mrs. Jiggy to be more adorable.
Once upon a time he was a baby who had hair and had his photo taken with Patrick Roy, in the time honored tradition of baby hockey players getting their photos taken with old time hockey players, probably anticipating that, years in the future, the Internet would need a good laugh.
He and Chris Pronger are the last active players to be drafted by the Whalers.
Giguere ended up in Anaheim and in 2003 they made a Cinderella run to the playoffs in which Giguere set a record for most saves by a goalie in their first playoff appearance - 63 saves against the Red Wings (since surpassed by Luongo). He also held the Minnesota Wild to a single goal in their series and ended up with a shutout streak of 217 minutes and 54 seconds. The Ducks were ultimately defeated by the Jersey Devils but Giguere finished with a 15-6 record overall, a 1.62 GAA and .945 save percentage. It earned him the Conn Smythe for playoff MVP. He was only the 5th player from a losing team to win the Conn Smythe, and he looks like he’s about to burst into tears the whole time he’s holding it.
Jiggy says dnw
The Ducks love him, for obvious reasons.
He suffers from some sort of gastrointestinal thingy that results in him taking in too much air when he drinks. He then dehydrates really quickly and, according to the Avs play by play announcers, he will drink up to 20 bottles of Gatorade per game, and can sweat out 10-15lbs of water if he’s not drinking enough. That's also why he takes his helmet off so often.
In 2007 he went to Gatorade’s research center and they constructed a special formula for him that helps him not get so sick. He also uses a special bottle to reduce his air intake.
He has two children, Maxime-Oliver and Luka Claude. He has their initials on the back of his helmet.
His helmet is really pretty, even if it does remind me of a Coors bottle.
He took Max skating back when he was with the Leafs, and it was ADORABLE.
JIGGY WITH A BABY
Julie Bowman did a report with Giguere once that was pretty nice. He talks a lot about his family and how important that is to him.
Profile: JS Giguere
He has a horribly underappreciated Hot Goalie Stare. I hope to rectify this.
Seriously. Look at the intensity.
Once again, Varly seems to want him dead, or to jump him on the ice. It’s hard to tell which with Varly.
He ended up in Colorado thanks to the magic that is free agency. When he was with the Ducks he famously declared that he’d rather retire than be a backup, which is part of him being really intense even for a goalie. He ended up being traded to Toronto where a string of injuries resulted in him being James Reimer’s backup. A bad groin injury in 2011 required surgery and took him out of the picture. He signed with Colorado realizing that at his age and with his injuries his best shot to keep playing and prove himself was as a backup/relief to Varlamov. He admits that he was one of the people who was doubting his return. In interviews he’s always really kind and supportive about Varly, and there seems to be no hard feelings but a fair share of healthy rivalry going on.
A healthy and adorable rivalry.
"Having Jiggy in the room is great for us -- he's been great for Varly," O'Brien said. "He came in and played some big games for us and kept us in the mix. Jiggy's a great guy in the room. Anyone who's won a Stanley Cup and a Conn Smythe, anytime you can have a guy like that in your dressing room and around the boys, it's great. Not only is he good for Varly, he's great for the whole team."
He then proceeded to knock the socks off the Avalanche organization. Papa Jiggy had only the biggest save this year. That no one cares about because he plays for the Avalanche. nbd, we’re used to it.
Like Keefe said: There is only one goalie that can make that save. Three aliens can, but only one goalie.
He has tattoos on the back of his biceps. This is the first time I’ve ever seen them and if anyone knew about them and didn’t tell me they are in serious trouble because now he’s even hotter.
I’ll leave you with this really good interview he did on afterhours. He has horribly questionable hair at his draft, talks about winning the Conn Smythe as "the only guy from my team on the ice", talks about winning games with Patrick Roy’s stick (why does he no longer have it, it is Patrick Roy’s stick) and reveals how absolutely, mind numblingly intense his work ethic is.
~*~ General Avs Stuff ~*~
The Avs have some very redundant names. I made two handy guides to help. Feel free to print these out and use for reference in instances of confusion.
The Mystery of the Redundant Ryans.
The Crazy Amount of Irish
This is a team who loves their community a lot, and will put up with ridiculous things in order to prove it:
Varly’s tendency to hold hands with anyone! Paul Stastny being a total GQ MF! Jiggy looking like he’s the happiest dude in the world with the adorable baby! Everything about Dutchy!
All the teams make hospital visits, but the Avs are the cutest.
This has been a painfully long Avalanche player love post. Thank you for stopping by, and if you made it through there are congratulatory cookies in the lobby. And remember: I'm not trying to set the standard for how burgeoning Avs fans must see and feel about the Avs. I'm just showing you how I see them and feel about them, because I love them and want to share that love. Please use these resources wisely and do not drive under the influence of Sauce. The Old Dudes The Forwards
Name: Ryan O'Byrne
Alias: OB, Burner
Number: 3
Super Powers: Ignoring all injury
@ryanobyrne84
Ryan O’Byrne is awesomesauce, even though that’s Ryan Wilson’s thing. Hence this hit on Chara.
Click to viewO’Byrne is a defensive defensemen and considers his role to be blocking shots and penalty kill. He’s not concerned with making a lot of points, and he says he patterns his play off big, physical defensemen like Adam Foote and Chris Pronger. It’s funny that he’s so firm about his role on the Avs, because when he was traded from the Habs the main reason was because they couldn’t find a definite role for him there.
WARNING: HOCKEY RELATED INJURY OF THE BLOODY AND GROSS TYPE.
He gets nailed by Taylor Hall’s skate, and then keeps playing the rest of his shift.
He had to talk out of one side of his mouth for months afterwards.
I love how affectionate he is when he talks about John Michael yelling at him to get off the ice, though.
He is still mind numbingly gorgeous.
John Michael was his d-partner while they played together, and they’re still bffs.
Sometimes they tease each other, like this time:
Of course O’Byrne retweeted it, because they both recognize how annoying asking celebs/sports people for retweets can be.
He seems to have a weird thing for Steve Jobs, based on this retweet and him including Jobs’ biography with his Avs Better Halves Christmas tree.
Sometimes he and Kyle Keefe take art classes together. I’m guessing it’s a player/reporter bonding thing.
Ryan O’Byrne painting
He went to Cornell and likes to give David Jones shit about it. So what if Dr. Seuss went to Dartmouth? Cornell has them beat. They have Bill Nye the Science Guy.
One time in 2008 he was arrested in Tampa Bay after stealing a woman’s purse. That’s not the best part. The best part was how he was caught making a phone call with her stolen phone. Boys, boys. If you are going to commit petty theft the least you can do is not be bad at it. What, did the NHL not pay you enough?
He of course takes part in the Avs twitter war, although not as much as some of the others.
Sometimes Peter McNabb gets him confused and calls him Shane O’Byrne, like at the Phoenix game.
On the road he rooms with Semyon Varlamov, and he’s apparently single (How is this, ladies? Did he steal your purse?)
I will just leave this here for inspiration purposes.
Name: Shane O’Brien
Alias: The other Irish dude
Number: 5
Super Powers: Playoff appearances
@shaneobrien55
Shane O'Brien has a ton of playoff experience, second only to Hejduk and Giguere, despite being 6 years younger.
Gabe likes teasing Shane a lot.
I think he can handle it, though.
60 Seconds with Shane O’Brien
He formerly played with Giguere in Anaheim, and was cruelly traded to the Lightning at the deadline the year the Ducks won their Stanley Cup. This ensured that no one under the age of 35 has a Stanley Cup ring on the Avs roster. He did some bouncing then, had some disciplinary problems with the Canucks and ended up in Nashville. And then he became an Avalanche, like a travelling ball of inexplicable charisma.
For some unknowable, cosmic reason he seems to be in every Avalanche ice photo ever taken. I think he gets a full 60 mins of ice time or something.
Sometimes he’s pretty awesome.
He currently rooms with Jay McClement, and we hope he’ll settle down here for a while. Lookit that face.
Name: Erik Johnson
Alias: EJ, Edge
Number: 6
Super Powers: Highest draft pick on the roster
Luckily for Erik Johnson he has yet to do anything to make me care about him, because he’s our bland baby Crosby knockoff, or maybe he just really hates speaking to Colorado's media. I wouldn't blame him. He’s the player the Avs traded a ton of people for. Blues fans can tell you all about him, while I am over here waiting for him to do something interesting. He’s American! He was a #1 draft pick! One of the very few!
He does have cute dogs, including this one. I believe there are 3 at this point. Don't quote me on that.
Name: Ryan Wilson
Alias: Sauce, Redundant Ryan
Number: 44
Super Powers: Awesomesauce
Ryan Wilson is one of the Avs’s really good d-men this year. I have the world’s most random assortment of factoids about him which include that his father and step father both passed away, so he drags his older brother to mentor/father trips, he has a lot of fangirls, and his curls are adorable.
Name: Jan Hejda
Alias: Hejda-Not-Hejduk
Number: 8
Super Powers: Super Euro Powers
Jan Hejda is one of the recently acquired huge blueliners the Avs were obsessed with during the off season. He’s not interviewed much so I can’t claim to have any opinion on him. Except that he’s by far the most ‘Euro’ of all the Avs players, and when you have Varly on your team that’s saying something.
Lobs: I love the three guys in back with their own facial-expression-opinions on what's going on in front of them
Me: HOW DID I NOT NOTICE THEM.
Lobs: THEY HAVE SO MANY OPINIONS
Profile: Jan Hejda
Name: Matt Hunwick
Alias: Hunny
Number: 22
Super Powers: Versatility
Hunny sometimes plays as a forward for the Avalanche. After being a healthy scratch through most of the season he's getting a good amount of ice time now. It appears that #freehunwick was successful.
Check out this goal. He was awesome.
He was a Bruin. He took this photo.
He is the baby on the bottom far right, in case you are like me and don’t know the Bruins very well.
I have no idea, guys. None.
I do have the lingering suspicion that he is 14, though.
Name: Joel Chouinard
Alias:
Number: 2
Super Power:
Farm Report
Okay, the only reason I included Joel Chouinard is that he is really, really hot. He needs to join the roster just to raise our hotness quotient even higher. #shallow #dontcare #allthehotdmen
~*~Goalies~*~
Name: Semyon Varlamov
Alias: Varly, that Russian dude whose name Joe Sacco couldn’t get right
Number: 1
Super Powers: Unibrow of Distraction
Varlamov came to the Avalanche July 1st 2011 in a trade with the Capitals in which the Avalanche gave them draft picks, and they gave us our token Russian.
He did this commercial with Ovechkin, and you only get to see him for like, 16 seconds but watching him carry his enormous goalie pads is worth the price of admission.
I apologize for the fact that Sacco seems to think his name is "Varlarmov"
He will forever be known as 'Can't Dance, Tight Pants'.
As everyone probably knows his KHL team was Lokomotiv, and when the plane accident happened it hit him really hard.
His mother has been staying with him since December, and he was looking forward to her vareniki, which are a sort of dumpling that he’s not good at cooking. The rest of the team hope that she’s willing to cook for them too.
"For sure, I know she won't mind. She likes everybody to be happy and well fed."
He was the youngest person on Team Russia, or whatever they call their team, during the 2010 Olympics and was basically the backup’s backup. Sorry, Varly.
He has a truly lovely eyebrow.
The problem being that he’s supposed to have two of them.
He does, however, have a really, really hot goalie stare.
He has the most adorable laugh in the Avs roster. If you could package his laugh I am sure we could use it to broker world peace, or at least stun people long enough to subdue them.
He rooms with Ryan O’Byrne and according to OB has control of the remote.
"I don’t really know what he understands, what he doesn't understand. If he wants to look at pictures or what he wants to look at, so I usually just give him the channel changer."
I like watching goalies skate.
Sometimes Varly makes really nifty saves.
He’s an absolute beast in shootouts, allowing only 2 goals in shootouts this season.
Varlamov shares goalie duties with former (Mighty!) Duck and Maple Leaf Jean-Sebastien Giguere. Initially Giguere was intended to be the backup and relief for Varly, but in December and January he was increasingly in the starting goalie position. At least until he got hurt.
Our goalies have a thing where they lurk in the background and try to kill each other with their eyes.
I lied in the disclaimer. This photo is totally mine, taken at the one game I made it to this year. You can tell because it’s bad.
Both of them are capable of really awesome saves.
I have no clue what is going on but Kes is going nowhere if Varly has anything to say with it.
I’m actually really surprised this isn’t some sort of Brokeback Mountain macro (only not, because no one in their right mind would do such a thing)
It is a sanitary apron tying conga line.
Bendy goalie being bendy.
"He always wants to be around his teammates. When you're calling guys to go out to dinner on the road, you always want to call Varly," Johnson said. "He's a fun guy to be around. His English is better, so that's helped him some too."
Name: Jean-Sébastien Giguère
Alias: JS, Jiggy
Number: 35
Super Powers: Surviving severe water loss
Not Alias: Giggy.
Repeat after me: his helmet reads 'Jiggy'. I am making an assumption that he knows how to spell his own nickname.
(Yes, the Avs do play "Gettin Jiggy Wit it" whenever Giguere makes a really phenomenal play. No, they don't care that it's lame.)
Jean-Sebastien Giguere is our other goalie. People really need to get with the program and realize what a DILF he is.
Also, pretty much the only person on our team with a Stanley Cup win. All the Stanley Cups to all the Old Dudes.
I dare him and Mrs. Jiggy to be more adorable.
Once upon a time he was a baby who had hair and had his photo taken with Patrick Roy, in the time honored tradition of baby hockey players getting their photos taken with old time hockey players, probably anticipating that, years in the future, the Internet would need a good laugh.
He and Chris Pronger are the last active players to be drafted by the Whalers.
Giguere ended up in Anaheim and in 2003 they made a Cinderella run to the playoffs in which Giguere set a record for most saves by a goalie in their first playoff appearance - 63 saves against the Red Wings (since surpassed by Luongo). He also held the Minnesota Wild to a single goal in their series and ended up with a shutout streak of 217 minutes and 54 seconds. The Ducks were ultimately defeated by the Jersey Devils but Giguere finished with a 15-6 record overall, a 1.62 GAA and .945 save percentage. It earned him the Conn Smythe for playoff MVP. He was only the 5th player from a losing team to win the Conn Smythe, and he looks like he’s about to burst into tears the whole time he’s holding it.
Jiggy says dnw
The Ducks love him, for obvious reasons.
He suffers from some sort of gastrointestinal thingy that results in him taking in too much air when he drinks. He then dehydrates really quickly and, according to the Avs play by play announcers, he will drink up to 20 bottles of Gatorade per game, and can sweat out 10-15lbs of water if he’s not drinking enough. That's also why he takes his helmet off so often.
In 2007 he went to Gatorade’s research center and they constructed a special formula for him that helps him not get so sick. He also uses a special bottle to reduce his air intake.
He has two children, Maxime-Oliver and Luka Claude. He has their initials on the back of his helmet.
His helmet is really pretty, even if it does remind me of a Coors bottle.
He took Max skating back when he was with the Leafs, and it was ADORABLE.
JIGGY WITH A BABY
Julie Bowman did a report with Giguere once that was pretty nice. He talks a lot about his family and how important that is to him.
Profile: JS Giguere
He has a horribly underappreciated Hot Goalie Stare. I hope to rectify this.
Seriously. Look at the intensity.
Once again, Varly seems to want him dead, or to jump him on the ice. It’s hard to tell which with Varly.
He ended up in Colorado thanks to the magic that is free agency. When he was with the Ducks he famously declared that he’d rather retire than be a backup, which is part of him being really intense even for a goalie. He ended up being traded to Toronto where a string of injuries resulted in him being James Reimer’s backup. A bad groin injury in 2011 required surgery and took him out of the picture. He signed with Colorado realizing that at his age and with his injuries his best shot to keep playing and prove himself was as a backup/relief to Varlamov. He admits that he was one of the people who was doubting his return. In interviews he’s always really kind and supportive about Varly, and there seems to be no hard feelings but a fair share of healthy rivalry going on.
A healthy and adorable rivalry.
"Having Jiggy in the room is great for us -- he's been great for Varly," O'Brien said. "He came in and played some big games for us and kept us in the mix. Jiggy's a great guy in the room. Anyone who's won a Stanley Cup and a Conn Smythe, anytime you can have a guy like that in your dressing room and around the boys, it's great. Not only is he good for Varly, he's great for the whole team."
He then proceeded to knock the socks off the Avalanche organization. Papa Jiggy had only the biggest save this year. That no one cares about because he plays for the Avalanche. nbd, we’re used to it.
Like Keefe said: There is only one goalie that can make that save. Three aliens can, but only one goalie.
He has tattoos on the back of his biceps. This is the first time I’ve ever seen them and if anyone knew about them and didn’t tell me they are in serious trouble because now he’s even hotter.
I’ll leave you with this really good interview he did on afterhours. He has horribly questionable hair at his draft, talks about winning the Conn Smythe as "the only guy from my team on the ice", talks about winning games with Patrick Roy’s stick (why does he no longer have it, it is Patrick Roy’s stick) and reveals how absolutely, mind numblingly intense his work ethic is.
~*~ General Avs Stuff ~*~
The Avs have some very redundant names. I made two handy guides to help. Feel free to print these out and use for reference in instances of confusion.
The Mystery of the Redundant Ryans.
The Crazy Amount of Irish
This is a team who loves their community a lot, and will put up with ridiculous things in order to prove it:
Varly’s tendency to hold hands with anyone! Paul Stastny being a total GQ MF! Jiggy looking like he’s the happiest dude in the world with the adorable baby! Everything about Dutchy!
All the teams make hospital visits, but the Avs are the cutest.
This has been a painfully long Avalanche player love post. Thank you for stopping by, and if you made it through there are congratulatory cookies in the lobby. And remember: I'm not trying to set the standard for how burgeoning Avs fans must see and feel about the Avs. I'm just showing you how I see them and feel about them, because I love them and want to share that love. Please use these resources wisely and do not drive under the influence of Sauce. The Old Dudes The Forwards