(Untitled)

[valpal21]

Presidential Resume for John Kerry

My name is John Kerry and I would like to report for duty. Here is
 my
 resume for your review.
 NAME: John F. Kerry
 RESIDENCE: 7 mansions, including Washington, DC, all worth
 multimillions.
EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE:
Law Enforcement.
 I voted to cut every law enforcement, CIA and defense bill
 in my career as a US

Comments

[sila1982]

And who are you voting for, Bush? HAHA! Don't even get me started, but since you did--here it goes:

Subject: Resume of George W. Bush

Resume of George W. Bush
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, DC 20520

EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE:

Law Enforcement:

- I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine in 1976 for driving under the influence of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine and had my driver's license suspended for 30 days.

-My Texas driving record has been "lost" and is unavailable.

Military:

- Joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL for one year.

- Refused to take a drug test or answer any questions about my drug use.

- By joining the Texas Air Nation guard I was able to avoid combat duty in Vietnam.

College:

- Graduated from Yale University with a low C average.

- I was a cheerleader.

Employment:

- I ran for U.S. Congress and lost.

- Began my career in the oil business in Midland, Texas in 1976. I bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas. The company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all of my stock.

- Bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money.

- With the help of my father and our friends in the oil industry (including Enron CEO Ken Lay), I was elected governor of Texas.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR OF TEXAS:

- I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies, making Texas the most polluted state in the Union.

- During my tenure, Houston replaced Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden city in America.

- I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of billions in borrowed money.

- I set the record for most executions by any governor in American history.

- With the help of my brother, the governor of Florida, and my father's appointments to the Supreme Court, I became President after losing by over 500,000 votes.