Couldn't help myself
DUMB MEN JOKES
What is the thinnest book in the world?
-What men know about women
How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
-One, men will screw anything
How does a man take a bubble bath?
-He eats beans for dinner
Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up?
-Because they don't have balls to scratch
What's a man's idea of foreplay?
-A half hour of begging
How can you tell if a man is sexually excited?
-He's breathing
What's the difference between men and government bonds?
-Bonds mature
How do you save a man from drowning?
-Take your foot off his head
What do men and beer bottles have in common?
-They both are empty from the neck up
How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
-We don't know-it's never happened
How are men and parking spots alike?
-The good ones are always taken and the ones that are left are handicapped
What's a man's idea of helping with the house work?
-Lifting his legs so you can vacuum
What's the difference between a man and E.T.?
-E.T. phoned home
What is the thinnest book in the world?
-What men know about women
How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
-One, men will screw anything
How does a man take a bubble bath?
-He eats beans for dinner
Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up?
-Because they don't have balls to scratch
What's a man's idea of foreplay?
-A half hour of begging
How can you tell if a man is sexually excited?
-He's breathing
What's the difference between men and government bonds?
-Bonds mature
How do you save a man from drowning?
-Take your foot off his head
What do men and beer bottles have in common?
-They both are empty from the neck up
How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
-We don't know-it's never happened
How are men and parking spots alike?
-The good ones are always taken and the ones that are left are handicapped
What's a man's idea of helping with the house work?
-Lifting his legs so you can vacuum
What's the difference between a man and E.T.?
-E.T. phoned home