(no subject)
My partner Ken and I have been having an interesting discussion.
Some background: my family is a FMF triad. We've been together ten years. We have two and a half year old twins which we are raising as three equal parents. My male partner is the father, my female partner Judy bore them, and they were conceived using donor eggs from my elder daughter. They are truly a joint effort. (More detail about their origins will be in an article in the next Loving More.)
So what is the discussion about? Well, when I describe our triad to people, I tend to say we are a "Vee" triad, specifying that Judy and I are not romantically involved. Ken wishes I wouldn't. He says if a married couple were raising children together, they wouldn't feel compelled to tell people if they were not having sex . . . so why should I want to specify that when I describe our triad?
Interesting point. I'm not really sure. I don't want to misrepresent myself as more bisexual than I am, I guess. While I'm committed to Judy and we would presumably, if something happened to Ken, stay together because we are co-parenting, my relationship with Judy is not the same as my relationship with Ken . . . but on the other hand, what two relationships ARE alike?
Another point about descriptions: we're completely out in my congregation and in our community. In the local "Mom's Club" people probably think Judy and I are Lesbian partners because Ken is never there (fathers aren't invited). When people ask, we say we are "an intentional family of three adults". Somehow "intentional family" doesn't carry the same sexy overtones as "polyamorous triad".
Some background: my family is a FMF triad. We've been together ten years. We have two and a half year old twins which we are raising as three equal parents. My male partner is the father, my female partner Judy bore them, and they were conceived using donor eggs from my elder daughter. They are truly a joint effort. (More detail about their origins will be in an article in the next Loving More.)
So what is the discussion about? Well, when I describe our triad to people, I tend to say we are a "Vee" triad, specifying that Judy and I are not romantically involved. Ken wishes I wouldn't. He says if a married couple were raising children together, they wouldn't feel compelled to tell people if they were not having sex . . . so why should I want to specify that when I describe our triad?
Interesting point. I'm not really sure. I don't want to misrepresent myself as more bisexual than I am, I guess. While I'm committed to Judy and we would presumably, if something happened to Ken, stay together because we are co-parenting, my relationship with Judy is not the same as my relationship with Ken . . . but on the other hand, what two relationships ARE alike?
Another point about descriptions: we're completely out in my congregation and in our community. In the local "Mom's Club" people probably think Judy and I are Lesbian partners because Ken is never there (fathers aren't invited). When people ask, we say we are "an intentional family of three adults". Somehow "intentional family" doesn't carry the same sexy overtones as "polyamorous triad".