Bad Enough For You: Chapter 23
Title: Bad Enough For You.
Chapter: 23
Chapter's title: I'm thinking you're just obsessed, with a messed up fantasy.
Author: Valentina or valeohyeah
Pairing: Jalex
Rating: PG-13
Summary: If being a jerk was what Jack needed to get Alex to realise he liked him then god dammit, the jerkest jerk he would become.
Disclaimer: This story is as real as my massive lady penis. Title goes to "Bad Enough For You" by All Time Low and the chapter's title is from "Obsessed" by Cash Cash.
Masterpost
"I love you, A-" Oh wait. Wait, wait wait wait.
This wasn't real. This could not be happening to Alex right now.
As soon as the blonde boy's brain registered those three little words his hands felt humid with sweat and his mouth went dry, throat burning and eyes opened wide because no. No, no, Jack must have meant that he loved snuggling with him. Well in that case, Alex very much agreed.
Only who was he kidding? He had heard Jack say 'I love you' perfectly.
"What d-did you say?" He stuttered, honey brown eyes full of anxiety and fucking hell, Jack knew that look all too well. He was not gonna back off now, though, the damage was already done.
"I said I love you, Alex. I. Love. You." He spoke slowly, as in talking to a fucking toddler. "And yes," he continued when the older boy didn't say a word, "I know that you don't really dig guys like me but-" there was when something inside Alex's head clicked and cut Jack off.
"No, no-no, no no no. You're not supposed to fall in love with me, Jack, we were supposed to have fun, not fucking fall for each other." He spat, really, why did Jack have to be so stupid? Weren't they okay? Weren't they having fun, despite all the drama that they had gone through lately?
"Alex, I've told you I loved you more times than I've said it to my own fucking mother, why does it have to be different now that we're together?" Jack asked, running a shaky hand through his hair, heart beating so fast he could feel it in his throat, blood pumping in his ears.
"Love changes everything, Jack, haven't you had enough proofs of that?!" Alex exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air and backing away from the younger boy a few steps.
"Why does that change have to be a bad one, though?" Jack asked, trying to knock some sense into his boyfriend, hoping that something would make him understand how much did Jack love him and how he couldn't live without him.
"I don't fall in love, I can't fall in love, can you not fucking see that?" The blonde boy snapped a few seconds later, when he came up with no answer for Jack's question whatsoever.
"Yes you can," Jack scoffed. "You're just scared." And yeah, that was probably the truth. But this wasn't getting them anywhere, though, and the elder was nowhere near admitting that Jack was right.
A few minutes passed where the two best friends stared at each other without uttering a word, the fear of finally facing what had haunted both Alex and Jack for almost a week finally sinking in and fuck, they were so not ready for this.
"A-Alex," the taller boy mumbled weakly after what seemed like forever, taking one hesitant step toward his boyfriend. The blonde boy eyed him warily; foot about ready to back away again but deciding against it on the very last moment.
"Lex," Jack started again, looking at the older boy with pleading eyes. "I told you that I loved you," Alex flinched at the word, but allowed the boy to continue anyway. "I didn't propose to you, or told you to run away with me, or even asked you to move in with me... I only told you that I loved you." He repeated, sighing and running a hand through his hair again.
Jack took it as an 'it's not that fucking simple' when the older boy just stared at him, not really sure of what to say. The only thing Jack could do was keep talking.
"To be honest, I was hoping y-you'd say something similar," the dark-haired boy's voice quivered, making Alex bite his lip, "but I... it wasn't obligatory. I mean, I'm only expressing what I've been feeling for almost two yea-" he cut himself off, eyes snapping open and hand covering his mouth to stop himself from speaking. Holy shit fuck, fuck Jack and his stupid lack of brain filter. What a mess he had done in less than ten minutes.
Even though Jack's face was really one for the books, it didn't even begin to compare to Alex's.
His face was one of pure horror because fuck. No, this wasn't how it was supposed to be. His best friend wasn't supposed to be in love with him, his best friend wasn't supposed to be an asshole either; Alex wasn't supposed to fall for his best friend...
And then it all suddenly clicked inside the blonde's head. How could he be so fucking stupid? All the signs were there, right in front of his stupid face and he hadn't even stopped for one second to notice them. Jack's abrupt change, the clothes, the attitude, even the fucking way Jack spoke at him.
Of course he hadn't had noticed. How could he have, really, when the only thing he could think of back a few months ago was the way to have Jack's dick up his fucking ass?
"You- you've been pretending to..." No, no this wasn't happening. It was obvious that Alex was either too drunk or too fucking high or definitely not in Kansas anymore. How the fuck had this perfect day turned to Alex's worst nightmare in less than half fucking hour?
"Alex, it's not what it-" the dark-haired boy pleaded, taking another step closer to his best friend.
"No! Tell me the fucking truth! All this time you're been fucking playing with me? Pretending to be an asshole just so that I'd fall for you?" He asked, glaring at Jack.
A few seconds passed where the younger boy just stared at his feet, feeling like a kid being told off. And that was enough reassurance for Alex. Yeah, apparently it was the fucking truth.
"I-I... I need to go." He mumbled, grabbing his hoodie from Jack's bed and walking out of the boy's room as fast as his uncooperative legs allowed him to.
"A-Alex," the younger boy whimpered weakly, chasing after Alex and feeling his heart get crushed that tiny bit more with every step the blonde took. How could he have been so fucking dumb? How was he always capable of fucking everything up with just a few stupid words?
Blinking back the tears that were blurring his vision he followed Alex down the stairs, out of the house and to the freezing winter air, begging for him to just listen to what Jack had to say. Maybe they could save their friendship, if they both were willing enough to forgive and forget all of Jack's fuckups.
"Alex will you please fucking stop!" Jack yelled from where he was, almost seven yards behind him, the blonde boy just about reaching the corner of the street of Jack's house.
"What, Jack, why do you want me to stop? So that you can pull on some jerky attitude and then I will be gagging for your fucking dick again? Well fuck you, okay? I'm not gonna do that."
Jack's mind went blank at Alex's harsh words. He wasn't sure of what he was supposed to say, but apart from that, anger was bubbling up inside his gut and it was mixing with the fear that was already tearing him apart, creating something that Jack had never experienced before. Resentment.
"Fuck me?" He snarled, glaring at the slightly shorter boy and it hurt, it hurt to see those dark brown eyes hold such a cold and angered look. "Do you think I wanted to fall in love with my fucking best friend? And knowing how fucked up you are with your stupid little obsession for lame excuses of men?" There was again that stupid thing Jack did where he couldn't control the words that came out of his fucking mouth.
Now it was time for Alex to be taken aback.
"I-I..." He stuttered, before Jack cut him off.
"You know what? It's okay. Really, it's perfectly fine, because now I really see how it's gonna be. You know, it is really unfair. You dating Jonathan and Patrick and that crack-whore Travis. It's un-fucking-fair because every fucking time you had a stupid fight with each and every one of them because they hurt your pretty little feelings then who was the only person that was there for you?" When Alex didn't reply to the younger boy's question he continued. "Me, Alex. I was the one who hugged you and had to put up with your fucking tears and had to fucking snuggle you at night." Okay, maybe that was a little too harsh, not that Jack had realised it yet. "And when did it ever cross your mind that maybe that was leading me on, huh? That it was making me a little bit too happy to see you fight with all your pretty little knights in shining armors?"
Jack could see the way Alex's eyes sparkled with tears even from where he was almost ten feet away from him, and it would have broken Jack's heart given any other situation, any other day.
Not now, though. Right now, seeing Alex's glossy eyes satisfied him. 'Give him a little taste of his own medicine', was what the dark-haired boy thought.
"I-I didn't know y-"
"That's right, you didn't fucking know. Because when did you ever stop for just a second to think about my feelings? When the only fucking thing I have ever cared about is you?" If this was how it was gonna be, then so fucking be it. Jack didn't wanna have anything to do with the older boy now.
"Fuck you, Alex. Fuck. You." He spat, making Alex wince and wipe at the wet trail of tears down his cheek with the back of his hand. "I hope you're happy with whoever it is the asshole that comes after me, and I hope he doesn't love you back either, that way you can keep fooling yourself for the rest of your life." The older boy's breath hitched in his throat, eyes fixed on Jack, like he was questioning whether or not this was real, whether what he had heard was true or not. He gripped onto his hoodie harder to prevent his arms from shaking so much. And with that, Jack had turned on his heels and walked back to his house, leaving the crying, speechless blonde to himself.
Was that how Jack felt every time Alex needed him the most? Did he feel butterflies flying back and forth in his gut and his skin tingly wherever their bodies touched and the dizzy warmth that could only be described as love take over his body, heart beating that little bit faster as Alex's body was pressed tight against his own?
Alex felt like such a little shit for causing all that drama in between the two of them. It was all his fault, really, his fault and his fucking obsession, as Jack had been very asserted to call it, and the fact that he was a scared, stubborn and narrow-minded little kid with nothing better than to whine about men that treated him like crap and yet he kept going back to them.
There really was nothing he could do now, though. He didn't want Jack to love him? Well perfect then, because his with had just come true.
**
Once back in his bedroom, Jack had to press his head against his hands, biting his lip as he tried to ease his breathing. He was sure his legs were just going to crumble underneath him because this couldn't be happening. Why would he have to blow up and take it all out on the blonde boy, for as much as he deserved it?
He sat down on his bed before he had the chance of breaking anything, feeling as if he was choking, chest constricting painfully, head aching and hands shaking out of control until he was gasping on his own breath, gnawing at his bottom lip to muffle out the sobs that passed through his lips as the tears finally made their way down his cold cheeks.
He laid down on his unmade bed without even taking his shoes off, curled up in a ball, sniffing and rubbing at his damp eyed with his curled fists like a child, trying to figure out how the fuck would he be able to sleep on a bed that held so many good memories of him and Alex.
He hadn't known what the physical pain of heartbreak was until now.
Next Chapter.
☠ • ☠ • ☠ • ☠ • ☠ • ☠ • ☠ • ☠ • ☠ • ☠ • ☠ • ☠ • ☠ • ☠ • ☠
Author's Notes: I don't even know what to say right now, I feel like this is such an angsty chapter.
Aaand with that being said, tell me what you think?
Chapter: 23
Chapter's title: I'm thinking you're just obsessed, with a messed up fantasy.
Author: Valentina or valeohyeah
Pairing: Jalex
Rating: PG-13
Summary: If being a jerk was what Jack needed to get Alex to realise he liked him then god dammit, the jerkest jerk he would become.
Disclaimer: This story is as real as my massive lady penis. Title goes to "Bad Enough For You" by All Time Low and the chapter's title is from "Obsessed" by Cash Cash.
Masterpost
"I love you, A-" Oh wait. Wait, wait wait wait.
This wasn't real. This could not be happening to Alex right now.
As soon as the blonde boy's brain registered those three little words his hands felt humid with sweat and his mouth went dry, throat burning and eyes opened wide because no. No, no, Jack must have meant that he loved snuggling with him. Well in that case, Alex very much agreed.
Only who was he kidding? He had heard Jack say 'I love you' perfectly.
"What d-did you say?" He stuttered, honey brown eyes full of anxiety and fucking hell, Jack knew that look all too well. He was not gonna back off now, though, the damage was already done.
"I said I love you, Alex. I. Love. You." He spoke slowly, as in talking to a fucking toddler. "And yes," he continued when the older boy didn't say a word, "I know that you don't really dig guys like me but-" there was when something inside Alex's head clicked and cut Jack off.
"No, no-no, no no no. You're not supposed to fall in love with me, Jack, we were supposed to have fun, not fucking fall for each other." He spat, really, why did Jack have to be so stupid? Weren't they okay? Weren't they having fun, despite all the drama that they had gone through lately?
"Alex, I've told you I loved you more times than I've said it to my own fucking mother, why does it have to be different now that we're together?" Jack asked, running a shaky hand through his hair, heart beating so fast he could feel it in his throat, blood pumping in his ears.
"Love changes everything, Jack, haven't you had enough proofs of that?!" Alex exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air and backing away from the younger boy a few steps.
"Why does that change have to be a bad one, though?" Jack asked, trying to knock some sense into his boyfriend, hoping that something would make him understand how much did Jack love him and how he couldn't live without him.
"I don't fall in love, I can't fall in love, can you not fucking see that?" The blonde boy snapped a few seconds later, when he came up with no answer for Jack's question whatsoever.
"Yes you can," Jack scoffed. "You're just scared." And yeah, that was probably the truth. But this wasn't getting them anywhere, though, and the elder was nowhere near admitting that Jack was right.
A few minutes passed where the two best friends stared at each other without uttering a word, the fear of finally facing what had haunted both Alex and Jack for almost a week finally sinking in and fuck, they were so not ready for this.
"A-Alex," the taller boy mumbled weakly after what seemed like forever, taking one hesitant step toward his boyfriend. The blonde boy eyed him warily; foot about ready to back away again but deciding against it on the very last moment.
"Lex," Jack started again, looking at the older boy with pleading eyes. "I told you that I loved you," Alex flinched at the word, but allowed the boy to continue anyway. "I didn't propose to you, or told you to run away with me, or even asked you to move in with me... I only told you that I loved you." He repeated, sighing and running a hand through his hair again.
Jack took it as an 'it's not that fucking simple' when the older boy just stared at him, not really sure of what to say. The only thing Jack could do was keep talking.
"To be honest, I was hoping y-you'd say something similar," the dark-haired boy's voice quivered, making Alex bite his lip, "but I... it wasn't obligatory. I mean, I'm only expressing what I've been feeling for almost two yea-" he cut himself off, eyes snapping open and hand covering his mouth to stop himself from speaking. Holy shit fuck, fuck Jack and his stupid lack of brain filter. What a mess he had done in less than ten minutes.
Even though Jack's face was really one for the books, it didn't even begin to compare to Alex's.
His face was one of pure horror because fuck. No, this wasn't how it was supposed to be. His best friend wasn't supposed to be in love with him, his best friend wasn't supposed to be an asshole either; Alex wasn't supposed to fall for his best friend...
And then it all suddenly clicked inside the blonde's head. How could he be so fucking stupid? All the signs were there, right in front of his stupid face and he hadn't even stopped for one second to notice them. Jack's abrupt change, the clothes, the attitude, even the fucking way Jack spoke at him.
Of course he hadn't had noticed. How could he have, really, when the only thing he could think of back a few months ago was the way to have Jack's dick up his fucking ass?
"You- you've been pretending to..." No, no this wasn't happening. It was obvious that Alex was either too drunk or too fucking high or definitely not in Kansas anymore. How the fuck had this perfect day turned to Alex's worst nightmare in less than half fucking hour?
"Alex, it's not what it-" the dark-haired boy pleaded, taking another step closer to his best friend.
"No! Tell me the fucking truth! All this time you're been fucking playing with me? Pretending to be an asshole just so that I'd fall for you?" He asked, glaring at Jack.
A few seconds passed where the younger boy just stared at his feet, feeling like a kid being told off. And that was enough reassurance for Alex. Yeah, apparently it was the fucking truth.
"I-I... I need to go." He mumbled, grabbing his hoodie from Jack's bed and walking out of the boy's room as fast as his uncooperative legs allowed him to.
"A-Alex," the younger boy whimpered weakly, chasing after Alex and feeling his heart get crushed that tiny bit more with every step the blonde took. How could he have been so fucking dumb? How was he always capable of fucking everything up with just a few stupid words?
Blinking back the tears that were blurring his vision he followed Alex down the stairs, out of the house and to the freezing winter air, begging for him to just listen to what Jack had to say. Maybe they could save their friendship, if they both were willing enough to forgive and forget all of Jack's fuckups.
"Alex will you please fucking stop!" Jack yelled from where he was, almost seven yards behind him, the blonde boy just about reaching the corner of the street of Jack's house.
"What, Jack, why do you want me to stop? So that you can pull on some jerky attitude and then I will be gagging for your fucking dick again? Well fuck you, okay? I'm not gonna do that."
Jack's mind went blank at Alex's harsh words. He wasn't sure of what he was supposed to say, but apart from that, anger was bubbling up inside his gut and it was mixing with the fear that was already tearing him apart, creating something that Jack had never experienced before. Resentment.
"Fuck me?" He snarled, glaring at the slightly shorter boy and it hurt, it hurt to see those dark brown eyes hold such a cold and angered look. "Do you think I wanted to fall in love with my fucking best friend? And knowing how fucked up you are with your stupid little obsession for lame excuses of men?" There was again that stupid thing Jack did where he couldn't control the words that came out of his fucking mouth.
Now it was time for Alex to be taken aback.
"I-I..." He stuttered, before Jack cut him off.
"You know what? It's okay. Really, it's perfectly fine, because now I really see how it's gonna be. You know, it is really unfair. You dating Jonathan and Patrick and that crack-whore Travis. It's un-fucking-fair because every fucking time you had a stupid fight with each and every one of them because they hurt your pretty little feelings then who was the only person that was there for you?" When Alex didn't reply to the younger boy's question he continued. "Me, Alex. I was the one who hugged you and had to put up with your fucking tears and had to fucking snuggle you at night." Okay, maybe that was a little too harsh, not that Jack had realised it yet. "And when did it ever cross your mind that maybe that was leading me on, huh? That it was making me a little bit too happy to see you fight with all your pretty little knights in shining armors?"
Jack could see the way Alex's eyes sparkled with tears even from where he was almost ten feet away from him, and it would have broken Jack's heart given any other situation, any other day.
Not now, though. Right now, seeing Alex's glossy eyes satisfied him. 'Give him a little taste of his own medicine', was what the dark-haired boy thought.
"I-I didn't know y-"
"That's right, you didn't fucking know. Because when did you ever stop for just a second to think about my feelings? When the only fucking thing I have ever cared about is you?" If this was how it was gonna be, then so fucking be it. Jack didn't wanna have anything to do with the older boy now.
"Fuck you, Alex. Fuck. You." He spat, making Alex wince and wipe at the wet trail of tears down his cheek with the back of his hand. "I hope you're happy with whoever it is the asshole that comes after me, and I hope he doesn't love you back either, that way you can keep fooling yourself for the rest of your life." The older boy's breath hitched in his throat, eyes fixed on Jack, like he was questioning whether or not this was real, whether what he had heard was true or not. He gripped onto his hoodie harder to prevent his arms from shaking so much. And with that, Jack had turned on his heels and walked back to his house, leaving the crying, speechless blonde to himself.
Was that how Jack felt every time Alex needed him the most? Did he feel butterflies flying back and forth in his gut and his skin tingly wherever their bodies touched and the dizzy warmth that could only be described as love take over his body, heart beating that little bit faster as Alex's body was pressed tight against his own?
Alex felt like such a little shit for causing all that drama in between the two of them. It was all his fault, really, his fault and his fucking obsession, as Jack had been very asserted to call it, and the fact that he was a scared, stubborn and narrow-minded little kid with nothing better than to whine about men that treated him like crap and yet he kept going back to them.
There really was nothing he could do now, though. He didn't want Jack to love him? Well perfect then, because his with had just come true.
**
Once back in his bedroom, Jack had to press his head against his hands, biting his lip as he tried to ease his breathing. He was sure his legs were just going to crumble underneath him because this couldn't be happening. Why would he have to blow up and take it all out on the blonde boy, for as much as he deserved it?
He sat down on his bed before he had the chance of breaking anything, feeling as if he was choking, chest constricting painfully, head aching and hands shaking out of control until he was gasping on his own breath, gnawing at his bottom lip to muffle out the sobs that passed through his lips as the tears finally made their way down his cold cheeks.
He laid down on his unmade bed without even taking his shoes off, curled up in a ball, sniffing and rubbing at his damp eyed with his curled fists like a child, trying to figure out how the fuck would he be able to sleep on a bed that held so many good memories of him and Alex.
He hadn't known what the physical pain of heartbreak was until now.
Next Chapter.
☠ • ☠ • ☠ • ☠ • ☠ • ☠ • ☠ • ☠ • ☠ • ☠ • ☠ • ☠ • ☠ • ☠ • ☠
Author's Notes: I don't even know what to say right now, I feel like this is such an angsty chapter.
Aaand with that being said, tell me what you think?