The Single Most... Something... Text I Have Ever Read, Ever
I wanted to get my hair cut today. It's looking quite whuffly and as I will be a College Teacher on Monday I aspire to a little polish. So I got a recommendation from some girls from the department.
I googled the place to find out their phone number-and it was like digging a hole to plant a bean and finding a gold nugget.
On their website I clicked the "Style" tab thinking there might be photos of various cuts they do. No... what I found was their style philosophy. A document that capitalizes the words Face and Body for no apparent reason. A document describing their method of measuring the "perfect imperfections" of the face and body and mathematically calculating the exact haircut for you, known as "The Complimentary Body Angle". This technique is described in the following bulleted list, which devolves from meaning into inexplicability in a startling progression that the great postmodernists would slay themselves to rival. "The Complimentary Body Angle"...
Of course I called the place immediately, but-surprise, surprise-they were all booked up.
* * *
It occurs to me that, thanks to moving, I never posted about seeing the new X-Files movie. If you saw it and posted, could you point me to your responses please?
I was disappointed by it. Granted I never saw the final season and a half or so, but I had my vision of where the characters might be after seven years. This wasn't it! If Scully had "left the darkness behind" by becoming a hospital pediatrician (a dubious concept, that) then why was she so darn tense and cranky? If she thought it might be good for Mulder to leave the house and do a little work, why did she spend the rest of the movie trying to talk him into giving up and going home? Mulder seemed like himself-a bit off at first, but eager to get back into the chase and freak everybody out with his spooky notions. But man was Scully a big old raincloud! She was always the skeptical reality check on the show, but that's not at all the same thing as being the harridan naysayer. Her "Mulder, you're crazy"s always felt like they had an implied "but I love you anyway." Here, where they are-together?-that subtext seemed missing.
As someone who always thought they should get together when the show ended, I was satisfied with that development-but what was with the sloooooow reveal? Why make it seem like she hasn't seen him for a long time when they first meet, only to reveal that they live together? They may have been aiming for an increased emotional payoff, but all they succeeded in was being confusing.
Speaking of "confusing"... the actual plot was just bleh. I applaud their decision not to do a mythology episode, but the most successful MOTW eps always have either 1) lots of quirky black humor, or 2) a compelling villain. This plot had... neither. (Though, with a bad guy who was abused by a priest and then went on to be gay and have his Cylon husband sew his head onto a woman's body, it did feature some weird psychological stuff they left utterly untapped.)
In short, where was Darin Morgan when we needed him?
I googled the place to find out their phone number-and it was like digging a hole to plant a bean and finding a gold nugget.
On their website I clicked the "Style" tab thinking there might be photos of various cuts they do. No... what I found was their style philosophy. A document that capitalizes the words Face and Body for no apparent reason. A document describing their method of measuring the "perfect imperfections" of the face and body and mathematically calculating the exact haircut for you, known as "The Complimentary Body Angle". This technique is described in the following bulleted list, which devolves from meaning into inexplicability in a startling progression that the great postmodernists would slay themselves to rival. "The Complimentary Body Angle"...
- Able to be found within 30 seconds
- Easy to apply and understand
- Naturally pleasing to our eye
“Leonardo da Vinci” and “Albertian Formula” - Measuring sound waves and oceans
- Harmonic measurement of music
- Building of the Pyramids
A formula based on relations of 12:6:4:3
The Complimentary Body Angle.
Of course I called the place immediately, but-surprise, surprise-they were all booked up.
* * *
It occurs to me that, thanks to moving, I never posted about seeing the new X-Files movie. If you saw it and posted, could you point me to your responses please?
I was disappointed by it. Granted I never saw the final season and a half or so, but I had my vision of where the characters might be after seven years. This wasn't it! If Scully had "left the darkness behind" by becoming a hospital pediatrician (a dubious concept, that) then why was she so darn tense and cranky? If she thought it might be good for Mulder to leave the house and do a little work, why did she spend the rest of the movie trying to talk him into giving up and going home? Mulder seemed like himself-a bit off at first, but eager to get back into the chase and freak everybody out with his spooky notions. But man was Scully a big old raincloud! She was always the skeptical reality check on the show, but that's not at all the same thing as being the harridan naysayer. Her "Mulder, you're crazy"s always felt like they had an implied "but I love you anyway." Here, where they are-together?-that subtext seemed missing.
As someone who always thought they should get together when the show ended, I was satisfied with that development-but what was with the sloooooow reveal? Why make it seem like she hasn't seen him for a long time when they first meet, only to reveal that they live together? They may have been aiming for an increased emotional payoff, but all they succeeded in was being confusing.
Speaking of "confusing"... the actual plot was just bleh. I applaud their decision not to do a mythology episode, but the most successful MOTW eps always have either 1) lots of quirky black humor, or 2) a compelling villain. This plot had... neither. (Though, with a bad guy who was abused by a priest and then went on to be gay and have his Cylon husband sew his head onto a woman's body, it did feature some weird psychological stuff they left utterly untapped.)
In short, where was Darin Morgan when we needed him?