Etiquette reminders
Firstly, this is NOT intentionally directed at anyone here. If it DOES apply to you, take heed. And this is written in a majority-form, heterosexual manner. Please don't take offense...the majority of same-sex marriages/commitments I have atteneded have suffered far less from these breaches of etiquette for some reason.
RSVP
RSVP means repondez s'il vous plait. Literally, "respond, if you please". In the vernacular, "Respond to this or, once the cut-off date has passed, I will call you every 20 minutes until I get a damn answer."
When one receives an invitation to an event, it is polite to respond. ANY event, especially if a paper invitation is involved. Especailly especailly for events like weddings, which often require meticulous planning and require a lot of time, effort, and money. If the request is to RSVP by a certain date, don't feel the need to wait until then, ESPECIALLY if you know for sure that you will be unable to attend. Giving just 5 people the benefit of the doubt and keeping places for them costs an average of $300 at a wedding.
Registry
*sigh* I know I know, it's so...impersonal. But you know what? The bride and groom (or more often, the bride and several very good, very patient, and probably partially drunk friends)spent a LOT of time picking out items they needed and/or wanted. Who knows what they need better than they do? If you want to give them a little personal gift, something precious that maybe has a little inside meaning to you both, wonderful. Do so. But you know what? Get her the frigging Florentine Red dish towels and/or Don Knotts shaped oven-mitts as well.
Got to the game late and all the small affordables are gone? Gift card! There is no way on this joyful planet that the registers will get EVERYTHING they wanted, but a gift card to wherever they registered will help them to pick up the last few stragglers. And EVERYONE has gift cards. Hell, the used tool shop where I get a lot of my gear has a registry and gift certificates!
Or, chip in! Get 6 of your pals together and everyone pays toward one of the big-ticket items, like the KitchenAid, or the Christopher Lowell bedding set, or the fluffy Versace toilet-set cover, or whatever.
Children
Not all of us love your kids.
When the little cherub's name does not appear in the invite, they aren't invited. Especially when it says, right on the invitation, "We regret that we cannot accommodate small children at this event." Hint: If they're small enough to fit in a suitcase, don't pack'em.
Guests
If your invitation says "Dear Friend and Guest", you are welcome to bring a guest.
If it is made out to you and only you, you MIGHT be able to bring a guest...but check first. Just showing up with an extra breathing body is a BIG no-no. Showing up with a dead one in the trunk is also, generally, in poor taste.
And finally:
I don't wanna
Never feel obligated to attend a function. Respond that you have a previous engagement (they don't need to know you will be engaged in watching the Battlestar Galactica marathon on Sci-Fi). Perhaps send a tasteful card wishing the celebrant/s well, but just...don't...go.
Simple as that.
But if you do go, FOLLOW THE RULES. Respond that you will attend. Bring a gift and/or card and/or casserole - whatever the situation demands. Do NOT get snagged into snark. Pretend you're Emily Post or Miss Manners or June-frelling-Cleaver if it helps. Don't be a snob, don't be a crunty bitchy whiney twatwaffle (or cockwaffle, as the case may be). Make small talk. Smile. Keep your bullsh*t to yourself.
You can always rant about it later.
RSVP
RSVP means repondez s'il vous plait. Literally, "respond, if you please". In the vernacular, "Respond to this or, once the cut-off date has passed, I will call you every 20 minutes until I get a damn answer."
When one receives an invitation to an event, it is polite to respond. ANY event, especially if a paper invitation is involved. Especailly especailly for events like weddings, which often require meticulous planning and require a lot of time, effort, and money. If the request is to RSVP by a certain date, don't feel the need to wait until then, ESPECIALLY if you know for sure that you will be unable to attend. Giving just 5 people the benefit of the doubt and keeping places for them costs an average of $300 at a wedding.
Registry
*sigh* I know I know, it's so...impersonal. But you know what? The bride and groom (or more often, the bride and several very good, very patient, and probably partially drunk friends)spent a LOT of time picking out items they needed and/or wanted. Who knows what they need better than they do? If you want to give them a little personal gift, something precious that maybe has a little inside meaning to you both, wonderful. Do so. But you know what? Get her the frigging Florentine Red dish towels and/or Don Knotts shaped oven-mitts as well.
Got to the game late and all the small affordables are gone? Gift card! There is no way on this joyful planet that the registers will get EVERYTHING they wanted, but a gift card to wherever they registered will help them to pick up the last few stragglers. And EVERYONE has gift cards. Hell, the used tool shop where I get a lot of my gear has a registry and gift certificates!
Or, chip in! Get 6 of your pals together and everyone pays toward one of the big-ticket items, like the KitchenAid, or the Christopher Lowell bedding set, or the fluffy Versace toilet-set cover, or whatever.
Children
Not all of us love your kids.
When the little cherub's name does not appear in the invite, they aren't invited. Especially when it says, right on the invitation, "We regret that we cannot accommodate small children at this event." Hint: If they're small enough to fit in a suitcase, don't pack'em.
Guests
If your invitation says "Dear Friend and Guest", you are welcome to bring a guest.
If it is made out to you and only you, you MIGHT be able to bring a guest...but check first. Just showing up with an extra breathing body is a BIG no-no. Showing up with a dead one in the trunk is also, generally, in poor taste.
And finally:
I don't wanna
Never feel obligated to attend a function. Respond that you have a previous engagement (they don't need to know you will be engaged in watching the Battlestar Galactica marathon on Sci-Fi). Perhaps send a tasteful card wishing the celebrant/s well, but just...don't...go.
Simple as that.
But if you do go, FOLLOW THE RULES. Respond that you will attend. Bring a gift and/or card and/or casserole - whatever the situation demands. Do NOT get snagged into snark. Pretend you're Emily Post or Miss Manners or June-frelling-Cleaver if it helps. Don't be a snob, don't be a crunty bitchy whiney twatwaffle (or cockwaffle, as the case may be). Make small talk. Smile. Keep your bullsh*t to yourself.
You can always rant about it later.