Five Things (6)
Welcome to Owen's failed love life.
Fandom: Torchwood
Prompt by nightrider101: Five things Owen regrets.
1.
Looking back, there are many things Owen would have liked to tell Katie but never did, because he thought he could do it later. He’s had a bad feeling just before her operation, but fought it down, refused to acknowledge it and didn’t tell her that he loved her, that he would always love her, that even if she stayed like this forever (helpless, mindless, devastated) he’d still marry her, for she was the one he wanted to spend his life with. In sickness and in health. He needed no official vows for that promise.
All he told her on the morning of her last day was that all would be fine, and she shouldn’t worry.
He would be with her when she woke up.
1.1.
Owen never regretted punching Jack’s face when he showed up on the cemetery. Because really, the bastard deserved it.
2.
Looking back, using the pheromone spray to make women want him was extremely stupid indeed, and Owen isn’t quite sure what he was thinking at the time. It wouldn’t have been any better than using a date rape drug on that lady - worse even. At the time he’d given up on himself, believing that it excused anything. Believing that he wanted to be one of the bad guys, because bad guys, he thought, never hurt, and never looked back.
But Owen is looking back, and the fact that his plan with the pheromone spray didn’t work out in the end is something he doesn’t regret at all.
3.
One day Tosh asked if he wanted to have lunch with her, but Owen was busy with work and it was a convenient excuse not to go. Gwen, during their affair, has needed him, Diane wanted him and Owen was happy to share beds and other places with them, wanting Gwen because she used him, and falling for Diane because when they met she was already in the process of leaving him. Tosh would have been happy to have him just for lunch, because she loved him - and that is why Owen could never give her what little she wanted.
He believed running from those who love him would make his life easier and needed too long to accept that he was wrong.
3.1.
Later that day he was shot and died. The last meal he would have been able to enjoy was an entirely unenjoyable greasy sandwich. Locking back, lunch with Tosh would have been better.
4.
Owen never told his mother that he loved her anyway. Once he lost the ability to sleep, the justification that she didn’t deserve to know was no longer enough to help him through the night.
4.1.
During his first long, sleepless night at home, Owen thought a hundred times that the only appropriate reaction to the new tasks Jack assigned him would have been smashing the coffee machine over his head.
4.2.
It was a pity that Jack couldn’t die, really. It also was a pity that Owen never got to make use of his captain’s immortality by killing him two more times, or three.
Or four.
5.
In his very last moment, Owen says goodbye to Toshiko and tells her it’s fine. He’s ready. He’s sorry they never had their date.
In another life he would have told her so much more.
March 24, 2009
Fandom: Torchwood
Prompt by nightrider101: Five things Owen regrets.
1.
Looking back, there are many things Owen would have liked to tell Katie but never did, because he thought he could do it later. He’s had a bad feeling just before her operation, but fought it down, refused to acknowledge it and didn’t tell her that he loved her, that he would always love her, that even if she stayed like this forever (helpless, mindless, devastated) he’d still marry her, for she was the one he wanted to spend his life with. In sickness and in health. He needed no official vows for that promise.
All he told her on the morning of her last day was that all would be fine, and she shouldn’t worry.
He would be with her when she woke up.
1.1.
Owen never regretted punching Jack’s face when he showed up on the cemetery. Because really, the bastard deserved it.
2.
Looking back, using the pheromone spray to make women want him was extremely stupid indeed, and Owen isn’t quite sure what he was thinking at the time. It wouldn’t have been any better than using a date rape drug on that lady - worse even. At the time he’d given up on himself, believing that it excused anything. Believing that he wanted to be one of the bad guys, because bad guys, he thought, never hurt, and never looked back.
But Owen is looking back, and the fact that his plan with the pheromone spray didn’t work out in the end is something he doesn’t regret at all.
3.
One day Tosh asked if he wanted to have lunch with her, but Owen was busy with work and it was a convenient excuse not to go. Gwen, during their affair, has needed him, Diane wanted him and Owen was happy to share beds and other places with them, wanting Gwen because she used him, and falling for Diane because when they met she was already in the process of leaving him. Tosh would have been happy to have him just for lunch, because she loved him - and that is why Owen could never give her what little she wanted.
He believed running from those who love him would make his life easier and needed too long to accept that he was wrong.
3.1.
Later that day he was shot and died. The last meal he would have been able to enjoy was an entirely unenjoyable greasy sandwich. Locking back, lunch with Tosh would have been better.
4.
Owen never told his mother that he loved her anyway. Once he lost the ability to sleep, the justification that she didn’t deserve to know was no longer enough to help him through the night.
4.1.
During his first long, sleepless night at home, Owen thought a hundred times that the only appropriate reaction to the new tasks Jack assigned him would have been smashing the coffee machine over his head.
4.2.
It was a pity that Jack couldn’t die, really. It also was a pity that Owen never got to make use of his captain’s immortality by killing him two more times, or three.
Or four.
5.
In his very last moment, Owen says goodbye to Toshiko and tells her it’s fine. He’s ready. He’s sorry they never had their date.
In another life he would have told her so much more.
March 24, 2009