cuz i can't stop myself from acting like a fool
hi friends! i hope you're all having lovely fridays!
this morning i lay in bed for a really long time before actually getting up. i usually don't do that, but it felt really good. i got up, crocheted a bit, ate a bowl of Froot Loops, then wrote some (if you take writing to mean 'flailing at cindy via msn while intermittently typing up things from my writing notebook).
i was telling cindy about how i really need to stop feeling intimidated by my new fandom. when i was new to LP, most everyone else was new-ish too, so it wasn't a big deal to make friends and post stories and be an active member without feeling like a complete newb. now, in bandom, i'm reaidng all of these amazing stories and encountering all of these amazing writers and feeling like i don't even know how to begin. but i think i should stop letting my inferiority complex get to me and just dive in. or something. at any rate, i signed up for bandombigbang and am making my appearance that way i suppose. i would be completely hopeless without kt and cindy though. no lie.
so then i went to clara's office hours (at the Free Speech Movement Cafe, since it was raining). clara, claire and i just sat there talking for like 2 hours or something. it was really amazing. i feel really, really good about the efforts i'm making to keep loving, listening, open people in my life on a regular basis. it just feels so good to be able to talk to people that aren't myself about things that matter, random things that pop up in my mind. i wonder how the tracie they're exposed to compares to the tracie that john and darbrielle and cami and liam know, as opposed to the tracie that people run into on the way to class, as opposed to the tracie i become in classes, or the tracie i am in femsex, or at fac meetings, or how i present myself on lj. it's kidn of hard to think about, because they're really all me, you know? just different sides of me, less holistic or something.
also, when claire and i were talking, i ended up telling her how much fanfiction i read (also, i'm becoming much better at explaining exactly what it is that i read, to people that don't know what i'm talking about), and we just went on this long tangent about what giant nerds we are, and it felt so good. i felt very satisfied afterwards. =)
then i went ot Thai Basil and had veggi pad thai. soooooo good. mh. i was just sitting there, listening to panic! and bouncing quietly along, and thinking about how much i change, regularly. and also, how much is still the same. it fascinates me. i totally fascinate myself, and i am not ashamed to admit it.
then i got home annnnnnnnnnnd...
FLORALLLL. (wth, right? but i looooove them)
GOLD I BOUGHT GOLD SHOES OKAY.
and i proceeded to dance around my room while making these faces:
god. i know they're completely ridiculous and actually quite ugly, but i can't contain my love for them. SIGH. i was planning on only liking one pair, so i could send the others back, but i love both of them too much to do so. =(
this morning i lay in bed for a really long time before actually getting up. i usually don't do that, but it felt really good. i got up, crocheted a bit, ate a bowl of Froot Loops, then wrote some (if you take writing to mean 'flailing at cindy via msn while intermittently typing up things from my writing notebook).
i was telling cindy about how i really need to stop feeling intimidated by my new fandom. when i was new to LP, most everyone else was new-ish too, so it wasn't a big deal to make friends and post stories and be an active member without feeling like a complete newb. now, in bandom, i'm reaidng all of these amazing stories and encountering all of these amazing writers and feeling like i don't even know how to begin. but i think i should stop letting my inferiority complex get to me and just dive in. or something. at any rate, i signed up for bandombigbang and am making my appearance that way i suppose. i would be completely hopeless without kt and cindy though. no lie.
so then i went to clara's office hours (at the Free Speech Movement Cafe, since it was raining). clara, claire and i just sat there talking for like 2 hours or something. it was really amazing. i feel really, really good about the efforts i'm making to keep loving, listening, open people in my life on a regular basis. it just feels so good to be able to talk to people that aren't myself about things that matter, random things that pop up in my mind. i wonder how the tracie they're exposed to compares to the tracie that john and darbrielle and cami and liam know, as opposed to the tracie that people run into on the way to class, as opposed to the tracie i become in classes, or the tracie i am in femsex, or at fac meetings, or how i present myself on lj. it's kidn of hard to think about, because they're really all me, you know? just different sides of me, less holistic or something.
also, when claire and i were talking, i ended up telling her how much fanfiction i read (also, i'm becoming much better at explaining exactly what it is that i read, to people that don't know what i'm talking about), and we just went on this long tangent about what giant nerds we are, and it felt so good. i felt very satisfied afterwards. =)
then i went ot Thai Basil and had veggi pad thai. soooooo good. mh. i was just sitting there, listening to panic! and bouncing quietly along, and thinking about how much i change, regularly. and also, how much is still the same. it fascinates me. i totally fascinate myself, and i am not ashamed to admit it.
then i got home annnnnnnnnnnd...
FLORALLLL. (wth, right? but i looooove them)
GOLD I BOUGHT GOLD SHOES OKAY.
and i proceeded to dance around my room while making these faces:
god. i know they're completely ridiculous and actually quite ugly, but i can't contain my love for them. SIGH. i was planning on only liking one pair, so i could send the others back, but i love both of them too much to do so. =(