(no subject)
still feeling really shitty and undecided about this school crap. i finished that midterm and turned it in, and i have another paper due in a few hours that i just can't write. it's so hard to motivate myself when i don't even know what the fuck i'm going to do. i want to get over this, and get up and keep going and just do this shit. i want to get the fuck over myself and my mid-college crisis. i want to just sit down and do readings or study or what the fuck ever it is that other people do. but i think we all know that's not me. and maybe it was never meant to be. and maybe i'm meant to flunk out of berkeley. and maybe i'm just being melodramatic and making something out of nothing. maybe i'm just feeling sorry for myself.
whatever the fuck it is, it's not helping me write this paper. i need to get over it. but i can't.
i don't want to sound like this. i don't want to have this crisis every few months. i don't want i don't want i don't want.