Pondering Mortality
It's what I've been doing a lot of lately, pondering mortality. It's funky. I have no idea how long I have to live, I just know that it is considerably shorter than it was before I got cancer. A year? Two? More? Who knows. Sometimes this makes me sad, sometimes it just confuses me. I've never expected to live a long life because of the many bad, life shortening things I've done (mostly drugs), but now I'm told it's almost over and it's just... funky. I mean, in a way it's almost good, because it's making me savor and cherish little everyday things that I may have not given a second thought before all this. Last night, I found myself standing in my kitchen staring out the window at two a.m. just marveling at the amazing night sky. Things like that happen a lot lately.
Also in the funky category, the government will indeed be giving me free money just because I got this cancer. I spent about half an hour on the phone with a nice lady at the Social Security office, and now I'll be getting $488.00 every month for the rest of my life. Pretty cool.
Also in the pretty cool category, we're going shopping for a new stove this weekend! The one we have is uneven and never holds a steady oven temp. It's a living hell and I can't wait to get it out of our lives!!!
The other fun plan for the Labor Day weekend is a trip to Indiana Beach. It's a lovely, hokey amusement park built around a man made lake. Personally, I am most looking forward to the old fashioned wood skiball in the air conditioned building. I'm not sure if I'll feel up for riding any of the roller coasters, but I hope to find a less stressful ride or two that I can have some fun on. Pete, Becca and I will have a great time no matter what we end up doing there, of that I am certain. :)
My reproductive organs refuse to die, and have been making my life very difficult. Every day, the only real pain I have is cramps and lower back pain. The hot flashes have been turned up to 11. I get them ALL THE TIME. I am hoping that this particular madness will end soon. I get chemo every week now, and somehow, Aunt Flo is still my biggest misery. Go figure!
Also in the funky category, the government will indeed be giving me free money just because I got this cancer. I spent about half an hour on the phone with a nice lady at the Social Security office, and now I'll be getting $488.00 every month for the rest of my life. Pretty cool.
Also in the pretty cool category, we're going shopping for a new stove this weekend! The one we have is uneven and never holds a steady oven temp. It's a living hell and I can't wait to get it out of our lives!!!
The other fun plan for the Labor Day weekend is a trip to Indiana Beach. It's a lovely, hokey amusement park built around a man made lake. Personally, I am most looking forward to the old fashioned wood skiball in the air conditioned building. I'm not sure if I'll feel up for riding any of the roller coasters, but I hope to find a less stressful ride or two that I can have some fun on. Pete, Becca and I will have a great time no matter what we end up doing there, of that I am certain. :)
My reproductive organs refuse to die, and have been making my life very difficult. Every day, the only real pain I have is cramps and lower back pain. The hot flashes have been turned up to 11. I get them ALL THE TIME. I am hoping that this particular madness will end soon. I get chemo every week now, and somehow, Aunt Flo is still my biggest misery. Go figure!