Oct 06, 2004 00:31
Because he said to me, "What could be more romantic than smoking a cigarette, writing poetry and drinking a hot cup of coffee?" I would have to say close to nothing else, my dear. A statement like that is a statement said for the sake of beauty. A habit so filthy is beautiful in the twist of his poetic tongue and I wonder how much it would actually bother me. I mean, in the long run.
This being the needle.
I will leave when my term comes. I will go into the inner city and live there. Love there. In a long shot, I will not hold my plans for the sake of any man's wish. There is more to my life than the satisfaction of a man. I have dreams, desires, ambitions. I want to take adventures! I too, want to discover! Yes, I want to be desired. Yes, I want to know that I am worth the effort to get to know. I do want to be pursued, rescued even. But I will not wait around for that occasion to occur. Man, please answer to your name and find me, wherever I am, and love me, and tell me you love me, and tell me that I am beautiful, and show me that I am incredible, and tell me that you will not leave me until I agree to be your wife. Man, answer to your name when it is whispered.
This being the thread.
I have been thinking, surprise, surprise. I was planning on going to France to study abroad, but the more I realize why I changed to this major, and how that applies to my passions and convictions, the more I realize that I may not be of any use in France. I am thinking of a place more like India, or somewhere in the middle east. I want to venture there because I believe that I have been called to minister to women. This may be completely Americanized and individualistic, but I do not agree with the treatment or placement of women in that society over there. Some women may not even have any idea that there is any life different from the one they live. Maybe they don't care. But I want to understand that. Being an American, I was born with no specific purpose. However in the eastern cultures babies are born to serve a specific purpose in life. They are born to help with the "family business", to continues to do what their ancestors did before them. If they step out of their duties, or question them (especially women), they will be killed. Again, this may be my selfish American culture, or the lack there of, but wouldn't these women question why they would be punished if they stepped out of the line they were told to stand in since birth? Wouldn't they want to know the importance of the life they were forced to live and not just go through the motions instructed to them? Am I just an ignorant American? It's a good possibility, but I want to know that first hand. I want to understand that better by going into those countries and asking!
This being the quilt.
I would like to not be passed up. Man, will you answer to your name and come after me in these foreign places? Will you still say it with a poetic tongue? I may be a feminist, I am not too sure, but Man, you may be one too. I am not too sure. I am sure that I am leaving, no matter how loud you shout after me. If you cannot be without me, then you will pray. Then you will travel with God and come find me. There we will adventure together, because I think that is the life that God has for me. I want that to be the life that God has for you too. I want that to be the life He has for us.
This being the body heat under homemade necessities.