(no subject)
So I've had an interesting week.
It's strange to know that we are now halfway through senior year. People said it'd go quickly, but I didn't think I'd be sitting here, at 12:51am thinking about how I will be going to college in six months, I'll be out on my own responsible for everything that goes on in my life. I didn't think by "quickly" they meant that I'd be sitting here feeling like the first day of school was just yesterday. I'm not old enough for college. I'm still an innocent 5th grader in Massachusetts playing with my friends. Pretending that the pond infront of my house was nothing more than a large amount of "potion" for our entertainment. I'm a 6th grader, scared to death of my new surroundings. Unsure about life, unsure about myself. Suddenly boys are attractive, but still completely unreachable. 8th grade rolls around. I pull out the hair straightner and cheap makeup. Still, not time for college. Friends start playing around with the concept of dating, but I consistantly have the image of me with braces in mind. No boys would like that. The next big step, the "worst year of my life" I tell people. I'm in 9th grade. Everything's new, and I'm still afraid of getting shoved into the tiny locker in the middle of the big new school. Tears are shed, and suddenly I find myself sitting here, at 1:00am, halfway through my senior year, afraid of getting shoved into a whole new life in the big new world.
Over the past week, I've realized that some people..not to throw any names out there..are very different than I expected. Apparantly numerous years of friendship, feelings and emotions are not enough for them to have genuine happiness for me. Oh well. Thankyou for what you don't even know you've done for me.
Other people have been surprising. In a good way. Thankyou for not letting an interesting middle turn into the end of everything. Many more good times, I hope. If not, you've certainly added to my short list of fun things accomplished.
But there leaves this one person. This one person who I won't talk to for weeks on end; not for any particular reason, simply busy lives conflicting with busy lives. This one person can say one certain phrase normally containing a few jumbled up Spanish words...but I don't think this person knows how much I really mean it when I send that phrase right back. Here's for you, not reading this. I mean it.
Today at work my 38 year old co-worker told me he wishes he were younger. He said I'm exactly the type of girl he's looking for. It was nice, but I didn't know what to say. Thankyou I guess? Too bad the ones I want to notice don't even look up.
enough for now. more rambling later.
It's strange to know that we are now halfway through senior year. People said it'd go quickly, but I didn't think I'd be sitting here, at 12:51am thinking about how I will be going to college in six months, I'll be out on my own responsible for everything that goes on in my life. I didn't think by "quickly" they meant that I'd be sitting here feeling like the first day of school was just yesterday. I'm not old enough for college. I'm still an innocent 5th grader in Massachusetts playing with my friends. Pretending that the pond infront of my house was nothing more than a large amount of "potion" for our entertainment. I'm a 6th grader, scared to death of my new surroundings. Unsure about life, unsure about myself. Suddenly boys are attractive, but still completely unreachable. 8th grade rolls around. I pull out the hair straightner and cheap makeup. Still, not time for college. Friends start playing around with the concept of dating, but I consistantly have the image of me with braces in mind. No boys would like that. The next big step, the "worst year of my life" I tell people. I'm in 9th grade. Everything's new, and I'm still afraid of getting shoved into the tiny locker in the middle of the big new school. Tears are shed, and suddenly I find myself sitting here, at 1:00am, halfway through my senior year, afraid of getting shoved into a whole new life in the big new world.
Over the past week, I've realized that some people..not to throw any names out there..are very different than I expected. Apparantly numerous years of friendship, feelings and emotions are not enough for them to have genuine happiness for me. Oh well. Thankyou for what you don't even know you've done for me.
Other people have been surprising. In a good way. Thankyou for not letting an interesting middle turn into the end of everything. Many more good times, I hope. If not, you've certainly added to my short list of fun things accomplished.
But there leaves this one person. This one person who I won't talk to for weeks on end; not for any particular reason, simply busy lives conflicting with busy lives. This one person can say one certain phrase normally containing a few jumbled up Spanish words...but I don't think this person knows how much I really mean it when I send that phrase right back. Here's for you, not reading this. I mean it.
Today at work my 38 year old co-worker told me he wishes he were younger. He said I'm exactly the type of girl he's looking for. It was nice, but I didn't know what to say. Thankyou I guess? Too bad the ones I want to notice don't even look up.
enough for now. more rambling later.