(no subject)
10 more things I hate - because I have far too much hatred for just one meme…
1) Saying things like God Alanis Morisette is so thick, she doesn’t even get the meaning of irony. WE KNOW. You’re a tosser. Ironically. Your base are belong to us. Git. Isn’t it funny that you wait for a bus for hours, then two come along at once?. No. No it isn’t. You’re pretty, you know what would make you look even better?, my cock in your mouth. Fuck off and die.
2) Anti-intellectualism. This doesn’t mean that every conversation has to be about the philosophical conception of the watsit in regards to the overarching principles of the thingyumyjig. But really people, we’re out of the playground now, by 20odd you really should have moved beyond the ha!, you read books, you geek! phase of your life. Some people seem to react to semi-intelligent discourse the way I react to the Gremlins in my wardrobe - hide under the duvet and stay very quiet till all the bad things go away.
3) Tea. Because it tastes like what I imagine Margaret Thatcher’s urine to taste of. [Don’t ask why I’m imagining the taste of Thatcher’s urine. Can/worms].
4) Hating Harry Potter. Look, for fucks sake, it’s a bloody children’s book. Stop telling me oh, it isn’t as good as Tolkien/Peake/Andersen. Of course it bloody isn’t, what the hell do you expect?. Don’t like it, don’t read it. But it DID get children (and, in the case of my sister-in-law, twentysomethings) who’d never read a book before in their lives to start doing so. Get back to Dostoevsky and stop whinging.
5) ‘Buddies’. I’m not sure if I have any of those, but I sure as hell don’t want them. The I have 176 people on my friendslist, so I have 176 friends principle. Bollocks to that. I have maybe half a dozen friends in the world, and they fucking rock, and I love every single one of them. I don’t want ‘pals’ or ‘mates’, I want people I can call at 3am if I need them, I want friends who’ll get on a plane and fly over if I need them, and I would reciprocate without a second thought.
6) Charles Dickens. It’s the same book over and over. And that book is shite. [See also Jane Austen]
7) Relationship games. As in, how many days before I can call?, should I tell him I like him?, how long before I should put out?. Bah and humbug I say. I work firmly on the principle that if you like someone it’d be bloody idiotic not to call (unless he has a restraining order against you, then perhaps you should think twice), if you want to fuck him, fuck him, if you like him, tell him. Games are for 5 year olds, come play with the big kids, its fun out here, the air is fresh, the shafting is plenty.
8) Socialising (yes, I know, I know). Some people go out every single night, and every single morning they’re posting on livejournal oh, well, it was alright, wasn’t really in the mood, played pool, usual crowd was there. Personally, I go out when I’m in a mood to destroy worlds, what’s the point in sitting in the pub talking about soaps?, I want to fly damn it.
9) Emoting. Because as far as I can see it the more you complain about your problems the more life shatteringly awful they seem (note - this does not apply to rape/mugging/spontaneous combustion/lions). Deal with it, get a puppy.
10) Telling people what I had for breakfast. I mean, if you want to know I can do a daily post. But really, odds are pretty high on the muesli front. Possibly with milk. You want pictures?