Terra Nova - Things Lost in the Fire ch4 [Skye/Lucas]
Title: Things Lost in the Fire
Fandom: Terra Nova
Ship: Skye/Lucas
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: bad language, sexual situations, AU
Chapter: 4/?
Summary: Pre-Series. AU story. Skye meets a strange man at Snakehead Falls and ends up falling in love. But can happiness built on anonymity last, when the world around them is on fire?
Author's Note: Note to self: remember what we talked about the last time? Well, you failed: totally, utterly, completely. Shame on you.
Things Lost in the Fire
4. The Prodigal Son
It was supposed to be easy: trusting the one you love. Well, turns out it wasn't, not for Skye anyway.
She'd returned in the middle of the night, after meeting with her mother for a moment. Deborah had seen right through her good mood, inquiring whether something special had happened. Almost like she could connect this event to the last time Skye had smiled so genuinely, almost six months ago. They talked to one another for awhile, Skye telling her mother how things were about to change, how she was making sure it'd all turn out for the better. And her mother had listened, wary of her daughter's unusual optimism.
Now the task at hand didn't feel as easy. Sunlight made all her actions vulnerable. Josh was curious over her refusal to spend some time together, curious over the sudden change in her behavior. And she lied to him like always, using their friendship as means to do what was necessary.
She knew everyone thought they had something going on, knew she'd welcomed his company too eagerly recently, when her hope had begun dwindling. Part of her recognized how similar they were, holding onto hope they'd get the person they loved to return to them, even through nefarious means. And all the while, she could feel how theirs wasn't purely a friendship, but how there was a seed, a possibility for something else. She hadn't nurtured it, and even Josh shunned away from it, but it was there nevertheless, as if waiting. Everyone else was banking on this horse to win the race, their opinion like an unspoken command she was supposed to act upon. No wonder she'd looked the other way…
It was so hard to maintain her sunny exterior, when she was anything but that inside. Lucas' presence had awoken her. She remembered what hope felt like, how it rejuvenated your soul. She'd actually woken up this morning with a smile, until she'd recalled the task ahead, the way he'd put so much importance in it. It made her restless, upped her vigilance.
She snuck out of the house at noon, glad that today was her day off the clinic. It gave her the perfect opportunity to take a little detour at the Eye. Everyone had free access there, only reservations were required. Skye was certain the Commander kept some watch over what the Eye was used for, but over time the protocol had become less and less strict, and if there ever was a time to take advantage of that, it was now.
Her steps were a little too quick, tensed. She wanted it to be over with, the doubts to vanish. Reality was better when Lucas was a struggling hero and she a woman fighting for her loved ones, but somewhere in the back of her she recognized this was the lie. The sun blinded her for a moment as she stepped away from the shadow of the house, and she took a moment to adjust to the brightness. It was always hot and fresh in paradise, nothing like the cool, thick smog that pretended to be air back in 2149. The difference still loomed in the back of her mind, whenever she was struck with the beauty of home.
She paced onwards, holding nervously onto her bag, waiting to be caught any minute now. Fortunately she didn't seem to attract any attention though; everyone was so busy with their own business, their good lives here. For once Skye begged for the ability to be invisible, for no one to notice her. This was by far the most dangerous thing she'd done for the Sixers - no, she scolded herself mentally for thinking like that. She was doing it for Lucas, for them, for a chance to actually be together.
Taking another deep breath and a moment to scan her surroundings, she traced her steps backwards a bit and slipped inside the compound that hosted the Eye. So far she hadn't seen anyone, and when she called out, her voice echoed in the abandoned halls, gaining no response. Everything was going fine; she wasn't the usual suspect for something as heinous as being a spy, so her actions did not register to the on-lookers. And as Shannon chased for the spy, he didn't honestly think to look too closely at her, because he wanted to believe his son.
She pressed herself against the door frame, tapping the access code into the panel with her finger. Then she opened the schedule, realizing joyously that there were no reservations for the next few hours. She could slip in and out before being noticed, which was precisely what worried her. Her finger hovered above the screen, a moment of weakness jarring her decision-making, before she gave in and confirmed her reservation. The door opened a moment later, and she pushed herself inside, feeling sluggish and unwilling.
The room was cold, stripped from all elements of interior design. She could see the heart of the Eye on her right, the round machine engulfed in bubbles behind the glass and water. Otherwise the room was a mixture of concrete and natural rock walls that were a remainder of the rock foundation they had quarried in order to build the colony. Making her way to the egg-shaped chair in the middle of the room, she dug up her console from her bag and took Lucas' drive in her hand next.
"Computer," she called out, first weakly then stronger, "Activate."
The room came to life, digital renderings of her console interface filling the air and walls in front of her. Everything had a faint blue glow to it, her skin included, as she bathed in the light of the screen. She held onto Lucas' drive, gripping it a tad too tight, before she plugged it into her console, and everything around her was suddenly full of his equations. They took over the room, floating in their air, drilling into her mind.
"Computer, reconcile," she requested, starting the process.
But waiting was hard, watching his mind challenge her, taunt her, turned everything around. His life's work, the secret between from the first time she'd seen him, was within her grasp. Her curiosity reared its head, leading her into temptation. Now she knew how Eve must've felt in the shadow of the Tree of Wisdom. The palms of her hands were sweating from the heat that her console emitted, her mouth felt dry.
The program ran smoothly, she didn't need to do much herself, just watch it all unfold. Maybe that was why it was so difficult to stay still. The ghost of his touch lingered on her face, his tender smile when he'd lean over her and touch her face with his without kissing her. His scent was hard to recall, but she knew what consisted of. She ran her teeth across her dry lips, feeling how the friction tore at her flesh.
And she straightened herself, closing her eyes as she whispered. "Computer,open secondary action. Search Terra Nova pilgrims: Keyword Lucas."
The program was still running on the background, doing everything he'd wanted and more, but her focus had shifted. The computer riddled through the records, searching and finding things, too many things. The long list expanded until scrolling would've been pointless. Skye reacted with little patience, wiping the sweat from her hands to the side of her pants, before she began typing.
A couple of attempts later she realized there was too much data to go through. She needed to narrow it down, and so she went back to falls, returning the details to her mind. Lucas stood shirtless by the cliffs, making carvings. His smile that made her feel special, wanted. The way he would squeeze her tender flesh in his hands, pleasure running through her.
She sighed in frustration, knowing none of these things answered her questions, which had probably been his point all along. His tactic had been to avert her curious mind, overload her with sensations, emotions. She needed to focus on what he'd said, not done. Skye tried to empty her mind, listen rather than feel. His soft voice murmured to her; it was a river of sound.
Five years in the jungle, she realized. That was before the Sixers, he'd probably arrived long before she had. She entered the new parameters of her search, lowering the hits. It still wasn't enough. Her hands pressed into fists, her nails pressing against the vulnerable flesh of her hand palms. Think, she commanded herself, think.
The second pilgrimage, she then remembered, chiding herself for not thinking of this earlier. She'd go through every name on that list of arrivals if she had to, but she'd find him. Decisive, she raised her voice at the computer, to get it to read her as clearly as possible. "Computer list arrivals on the second pilgrimage. Search for keyword, Lucas."
Hits became fewer now; she narrowed everything but exact hits, believing he wouldn't have lied to her about his name. He hadn't had reason to lie back then, not when he'd chosen to omit details. Yet the thought wouldn't leave her alone either; how perhaps she didn't know him at all.
Five hits remained on the screen, all profiles that fit with the keyword. Skye stood up slowly, placing the console on the seat, as she approached the images hovering in the air. The first one had a picture, the keyword fit with something in his background. Skye recognized him though, tossing the result straight to the trash bin. It was the third result that got her attention: a profile without a picture, just the name hovering a few feet from her: Lucas Taylor.
She tried to access it, a sudden rush of panic overcoming all sense, but the computer wouldn't let her. It kept repeating an error message 'Profile deleted'. Her expression shifted a little at first, her calmness eroding little by little, and then it broke into a distressed frown, anger seeping through her pores like a disease that took over her. She knew then and there, she just knew it was him. Everything made sense with this, everything but her own naivety.
"Computer," she spoke with a trembling voice, trying her best to contain her heightened emotions, "Show me Commander Nathaniel Taylor."
The Commander's profile opened up like a charm, public information showing up even with her security clearance. She'd have thought he was a more private person, but realized eventually that the profile hadn't been altered in years. His family still listed a son, Lucas Taylor.
She tried to access the profile again, hitting the open profile button again and again. The error remained the same 'profile deleted'. Skye hit her hand through the projection in rage, actually bursting into a primal scream at the information in front of her, like she could someone cleanse the tension from her soul. Her voice died before anything was cleansed, leaving behind a hoarse imitation.
It didn't change anything, the truth remained the same. He was Taylor's son, his enemy, and under different circumstances he would've something akin to a foster brother to her. A wave of sickness passed through her, but not because it changed anything between them, no, it was because she realized just how much worse her betrayal was.
She'd run into the Commander's estranged son, who worked with his enemies to bring him down, and she'd fallen in love with him. She'd helped his own son to damage his home, kill his people. As if it wasn't bad enough that Skye had come to care for the Commander, she'd also come to care for Lucas. Suddenly she didn't know if she could take another curveball like this. Her head argued that this couldn't be all.
"Computer, terminate search," she said, snapping herself out of self-pity. "Show reconciliation. Analyze, create a digital model."
She fumbled backwards once the model began to take shape, a cluster of messy lines at first, slowly gaining purpose. Then she realized what she was looking at: it was the fracture, the gate that connected them to 2149. Something flowed through it, a whirlwind connected to the calculations still fluttering in the air.
Were they attempting to hack into the gate, take it under their control? No, it made little sense. Skye shook her head, forcing her focus on the model, when all she could think of really was his name, Lucas Taylor. It rolled off her tongue so easily; she accepted it as truth without even seeing a picture.
Skye didn't bother to resist her urges anymore, as she knew she needed to know everything in order to make her decisions. She would not lead Terra Nova to its ruin, not even for him. She twisted and turned, unable to stand straight while the computer worked its magic, making sense of her lover's brilliant mind. It was what she'd wanted to do since first meeting with him, gaze inside his thoughts: that secluded world of numbers and harsh reality he lived in, where she was the most wondrous thing he'd ever seen. She wanted to understand what the hell could be so important that he would hurt his own father.
Then she remembered how he'd lied to her that he had no family. It froze her for awhile, her confused mind linking the two men inevitably together. They each pretended the other didn't exist, yet fought to remind one another of their existence, refusing to be forgotten. If not, what else could've been the point of Lucas' carvings? Did he not leave them as his epitome, for his father to find?
For the first time she realized she was caught in the middle of something she didn't even fully understand. Was it even about Terra Nova, or something that had happened between father and son and driven them apart? Skye couldn't imagine either of them harming the one they loved, but her mind was quick to judge, to place prejudice.
"What is it?" she asked herself aloud; weary of the secrets and mysteries, angry that she was too stupid to figure it out. "What do you want Lucas?"
Skye circled the projection, studying the model carefully. Her steps were light, she was in no rush. She commanded herself to think, to focus for once in her life. Lucas had told her this was the endgame, that it would solve all of their problems. How? He'd said it would be the end of hiding, being separated, but there was no end to that as long as she was Terra Nova, and he cooped up with the Sixers in the jungle. And the status quo wouldn't change as long as the Sixers were without mean to attack and take control of Terra Nova.
And it really was as simple as that, she realized, stopping with a jerk. She looked at the model intently, awestruck by the simplicity of his plan, the results of his intelligence. He was going to open the gate both ways, to even the score. Whoever had sent the Sixers in the first place probably had enough money to hire armies to march in and take control. But what stopped them was the fact that it was a one way ticket. Terra Nova had everything the future didn't: resources, extinct species, and most importantly hope. He was making the portal go both ways to rally the troops, swoop in and destroy his father's dream.
Against her expectations, Skye realized she was crying again. These tears were silent, her anxiety unwilling to expel with them. No, these were the tears of a girl who'd met a boy and had only now realized how he was about to end everything she cared about. Her dreams slipped away through her fingers, those lovely images of him and her, together and timeless, they all crumbled. What she had left was bitterness.
Everything had changed so suddenly, so violently. This disappointment was becoming a curse, rooted right in her heart, and it spread. She let the computer run its calculations and check the results of his work, but she didn't pay much attention anymore. Her console laid by the chair, forgotten, as she held herself, hugging one knee and pressing her face against it. Time moved by slowly, each step of reconciliation dragging onwards like a diseased animal, waiting for death.
Some hours later, she bolted off her seat as soon as the computer finished checking the data and confirmed, as suspected, his success. Under other circumstances she might've been happy for him, joined him in his elation. But this victory was smeared in blood, lost in the choir of agony. Did he even care? Did he care about the people, who'd made Terra Nova their home and brought their children here for a better tomorrow?
Skye yanked the drive from her console, stuffing it into her pocket, glad that the mocking equations in the air faded as she did this. The room became dim again; the twilight embraced her, hiding her heavy heart as she sneaked away, hoping to god no one would come up to her right now.
The outside air was fresh and lush, but the sun was violent in its shine. It felt too much after everything. Without really making a conscious choice Skye dragged herself towards the Commander's office, still hoping to make sense of this chaos. She had never felt this cold inside, not even when her father died. At least she'd seen that coming, been able to brace herself. Not with Lucas, no with him the truth came from the blind spot, a knife to the side.
She climbed the wooden stairs, the guards posted by them greeting her formally. Yeah, she'd come up to him like this all the time: To play chess by the balcony, to talk about things, to be his daughter really. So why hadn't he told her about Lucas? Why had he kept it all inside?
Skye entered the hut, searching the cool office with her eyes and enjoying the feel of the air conditioning. Just a few minutes outside had already brought sweat on her skin, or was it perhaps cold sweat, roused by her current predicament? But Skye soon realized that the Commander wasn't there to hear her pleads and questions, to ease her troubled heart like he usually did so effortlessly.
It was Lieutenant Washington that greeted her with a nod of acknowledgement, comfortably seated over the Commander's chair, almost as if it were her own. Alicia Washington was one of Taylor's oldest subordinates, his right hand woman for nearly a decade. Seeing her relit hope in Skye, as she knew Washington would have the knowledge she needed all the same, and perhaps she'd be more willing to share it too.
Washington was clad in her usual black tank top, hair tied to a neat ponytail and eyes full of sharpness. She was an admirable figure, always stood tall and proud and followed orders without question. Someone like her could be considered a straight arrow, but Skye had suspected that Taylor and Washington's relationship went beyond their roles in the military, that they were bonded by something stronger. Clearly they shared affection, but it was up to debate whether it was romantic in nature or not. Skye hadn't wanted to put it in categories, although she'd often thought Washington was the closest person to Taylor in Terra Nova. Perhaps she'd been wrong, considering he had a son…
"The Commander's not here, Skye," Washington eventually told her in her usual formal manner, having observed the silent girl by the door a few minutes, patiently waiting for her to initiate conversation. She could see something was wrong, yet hated to get in the middle of it, knew that Taylor would want to deal with it himself.
For a moment Skye wondered if she would've turned out like that too had things gone another way: capable, assertive and fiercely loyal. But Skye couldn't even be loyal to her own damn heart, now could she?
"Actually, it might be better I talk to you," Skye responded quietly, feeling the life pour from her body. She was a ghost of herself, but gladly Washington didn't know her well enough to notice the difference. Her hands kept clutching the shoulder strap of her bag almost possessively, as if to ground her, keep her from falling off the edge of the map. Too bad she was deep in uncharted waters already…
The request seemed to make Washington a bit worried though, Skye noticed. Washington rose from the chair, leaving her console on the table, and she walked up to Skye almost immediately after. As usual, Washington seemed strict and unyielding even when she was being friendly. She held onto her belt with her hands, keeping her gun close, standing in form.
"What is it Skye?" she asked, no signs of alarm in her voice, though her eyes were alert.
"I...," Skye began, her voice trailing off almost immediately. She gathered herself for another try quickly, "I overheard something today, something I wanted to ask about."
Her grip on her bag was still tight, like she was waiting for the world to crumble beneath her, and needed something solid to hold onto. Washington's dead calm didn't help her in keeping her demons in check either.
"The commander… he has a son, doesn't he?" When the words finally rolled off her tongue, she hadn't gotten any more used to the thought of Lucas as Taylor's son. They felt like a mismatch in almost every sense, except their rugged beauty. One was a soldier, tough and unforgiving, the other a brilliant mind, sensitive underneath.
Washington gritted her teeth, trying to keep her face from showing emotion, but it was clear the question roused feelings in her, strong feelings. "Where did you hear that?" she asked almost mechanically, needing to force the question out into the open.
Skye hesitated, not having thought that far. "It was…," she started, unable to finish her thought, when Washington already filled in the gap for her, "Shannon, wasn't it?" The disdain in the Lieutenant's voice was clear. Josh's father must've not been on her good side. Skye settled to nod shyly, as if she hadn't wanted to give away her source. It was better this way though, Washington's suspicions were plausible.
"Why wouldn't he tell me?" Skye asked, melancholy seeping through her voice. She wasn't talking about one Taylor over the other, having realized they had both wanted to hide the truth from her. Ironically both father and son had at least one common interest.
However, hearing her question made Washington uncomfortable too, only she figured Skye was talking about Taylor, not his son.
"Listen Skye, it's very difficult," Washington tried to explain, seeing how this information had affected Skye. Skye allowed Washington to see through the cracks, the maelstrom that she carried inside, because she knew Washington would attribute it all to Taylor, not his son. It was sad how even when she was an emotional wreck, she was still manipulating others.
Washington struggled with the words, the boundaries. But she knew it'd be better to give Skye something, prepare her before she asked Taylor herself. This was the last thing the Commander needed right now, especially since the new discoveries of Lucas' carvings had become more and more frequent as of late. It wasn't Washington's place to explain, yet she wanted to, if only to spare the Commander. He'd been nothing but good to Skye, and he didn't deserve this kind of anxiety for having some secrets.
"The Commander's son is missing. It's very painful for him to know his son is somewhere out there, unreachable," she tried to explain.
"Where is he? Where's his son?" Skye asked, feigning ignorance, a frustrated frown decorating her delicate face. She rolled her eyes, waiting for an answer she already knew: He's in my heart, and he's never leaving.
"I haven't seen Lucas Taylor in five years and neither has his father. He came to Terra Nova soon after his father, but things did not work out as intended. It crushed Taylor," Washington tensed as she told the story, her lips pursing a bit more the further along she got. Skye could feel her irritation with Lucas, that complete lack of respect. And she understood why, she honestly did. Lucas had hurt the Commander, and Washington was nothing if not loyal to her commanding officer.
"What is he like?" Skye inquired, craving for any piece of information, any clue. She could not connect the kind person she'd me, a passionate, loving man to Lucas Taylor, whose name was spoken with such disappointment. She needed to make the connection real, to understand it.
Washington actually glanced at her feet, unsure of what words to pick. She knew he was troubled, traumatized and angry. She also knew he was dangerous, out of control and that he was one of the most brilliant minds of their time. Washington couldn't recall all the times Taylor had spoken of his son with his voice tainted equally by pride and regret. She didn't have words for that - never had. It was a side of Taylor only shown to a few.
"He's a genius," Washington said, thinking back on the positive. Not the rash way he'd rush into fights, raise his voice or withdraw from company like a sullen child. "A bit of loner, an academically trained mind that had trouble understanding us regular folk," she continued, actually summoning something resembling a smile. It lit her face, made her seem younger.
"But they could never be in the same room without fighting. One always repelled the other, words spun out of control. No one else could enrage the Commander quite like his son," she recalled, having witnessed some of their spats.
She knew, of course, that Lucas had plotted to steal Terra Nova from Taylor, that he'd run into the jungle when given no other option. Secretly the turn of events had made her rejoice, for she'd honestly thought it would bring peace to Taylor. In reality, it had only hurt him more. And the carvings in the jungle had slowly devoured Taylor as whole, a constant reminder of how Lucas was still breathing, continuing to hate his father and everything he'd accomplished.
"What happened between them?" Skye asked, fearing her heart would burst with just a little more pressure.
But Washington didn't wish to discuss it further, as she found their conversation drifting to dangerous grounds. It wasn't her job to guess, even if she had some pretty good guesses on what had twisted the brat prince so.
"You'll need to talk to Taylor. I can't say any more," she apologized, genuinely sorry for Skye, seeing how visibly shaken the girl was. She didn't shift from her position though, not even to touch her a bit, to offer solace.
"I see," Skye whispered softly, a faint smile visiting her face a bit, "Thanks."
Washington didn't acknowledge the thank you, as it only made her feel worse about sharing as much as she had. "Talk to him, you'll understand," she simply said, feeling it was best way to encourage Skye, give her a push in the right direction. Perhaps Skye would succeed where she had not: in getting Taylor to let go finally.
Skye turned around and walked away, her hasty steps quickly dissolving into the noise of the colony after she'd vanished from sight.
Washington wondered whether she should've said something more, but the whole situation had felt wildly inappropriate. She'd need to talk to Shannon and have him guard these secrets a bit better. The Commander had chosen to keep Lucas' existence known to only the people he trusted (and the few, who'd lived here at the time of Lucas' disappearance, as they publically called it). It wasn't Shannon's place to start spreading rumors like this, especially considering the consequences.
Skye kept going despite everything once she got out of the office. She nearly flew down the stairs, didn't stop for a word with Maddy, who greeted her from afar, didn't walk up to Hunter when she saw him. There was a burning inside her, it choked the air from her lungs and dried her thoughts, until she was walking in a feverish haze.
When she finally made it to her room, she slammed the door closed, threw her backpack against the wall and just let her feet fall beneath her, dropping to the ground. Pain grounded her during her breakdown, but she felt like she needed more.
Lucas fucking Taylor, she thought, shouting in her thoughts, while nothing but an agonized whimper escaped her clasped lips.
TBC
Fandom: Terra Nova
Ship: Skye/Lucas
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: bad language, sexual situations, AU
Chapter: 4/?
Summary: Pre-Series. AU story. Skye meets a strange man at Snakehead Falls and ends up falling in love. But can happiness built on anonymity last, when the world around them is on fire?
Author's Note: Note to self: remember what we talked about the last time? Well, you failed: totally, utterly, completely. Shame on you.
Things Lost in the Fire
4. The Prodigal Son
It was supposed to be easy: trusting the one you love. Well, turns out it wasn't, not for Skye anyway.
She'd returned in the middle of the night, after meeting with her mother for a moment. Deborah had seen right through her good mood, inquiring whether something special had happened. Almost like she could connect this event to the last time Skye had smiled so genuinely, almost six months ago. They talked to one another for awhile, Skye telling her mother how things were about to change, how she was making sure it'd all turn out for the better. And her mother had listened, wary of her daughter's unusual optimism.
Now the task at hand didn't feel as easy. Sunlight made all her actions vulnerable. Josh was curious over her refusal to spend some time together, curious over the sudden change in her behavior. And she lied to him like always, using their friendship as means to do what was necessary.
She knew everyone thought they had something going on, knew she'd welcomed his company too eagerly recently, when her hope had begun dwindling. Part of her recognized how similar they were, holding onto hope they'd get the person they loved to return to them, even through nefarious means. And all the while, she could feel how theirs wasn't purely a friendship, but how there was a seed, a possibility for something else. She hadn't nurtured it, and even Josh shunned away from it, but it was there nevertheless, as if waiting. Everyone else was banking on this horse to win the race, their opinion like an unspoken command she was supposed to act upon. No wonder she'd looked the other way…
It was so hard to maintain her sunny exterior, when she was anything but that inside. Lucas' presence had awoken her. She remembered what hope felt like, how it rejuvenated your soul. She'd actually woken up this morning with a smile, until she'd recalled the task ahead, the way he'd put so much importance in it. It made her restless, upped her vigilance.
She snuck out of the house at noon, glad that today was her day off the clinic. It gave her the perfect opportunity to take a little detour at the Eye. Everyone had free access there, only reservations were required. Skye was certain the Commander kept some watch over what the Eye was used for, but over time the protocol had become less and less strict, and if there ever was a time to take advantage of that, it was now.
Her steps were a little too quick, tensed. She wanted it to be over with, the doubts to vanish. Reality was better when Lucas was a struggling hero and she a woman fighting for her loved ones, but somewhere in the back of her she recognized this was the lie. The sun blinded her for a moment as she stepped away from the shadow of the house, and she took a moment to adjust to the brightness. It was always hot and fresh in paradise, nothing like the cool, thick smog that pretended to be air back in 2149. The difference still loomed in the back of her mind, whenever she was struck with the beauty of home.
She paced onwards, holding nervously onto her bag, waiting to be caught any minute now. Fortunately she didn't seem to attract any attention though; everyone was so busy with their own business, their good lives here. For once Skye begged for the ability to be invisible, for no one to notice her. This was by far the most dangerous thing she'd done for the Sixers - no, she scolded herself mentally for thinking like that. She was doing it for Lucas, for them, for a chance to actually be together.
Taking another deep breath and a moment to scan her surroundings, she traced her steps backwards a bit and slipped inside the compound that hosted the Eye. So far she hadn't seen anyone, and when she called out, her voice echoed in the abandoned halls, gaining no response. Everything was going fine; she wasn't the usual suspect for something as heinous as being a spy, so her actions did not register to the on-lookers. And as Shannon chased for the spy, he didn't honestly think to look too closely at her, because he wanted to believe his son.
She pressed herself against the door frame, tapping the access code into the panel with her finger. Then she opened the schedule, realizing joyously that there were no reservations for the next few hours. She could slip in and out before being noticed, which was precisely what worried her. Her finger hovered above the screen, a moment of weakness jarring her decision-making, before she gave in and confirmed her reservation. The door opened a moment later, and she pushed herself inside, feeling sluggish and unwilling.
The room was cold, stripped from all elements of interior design. She could see the heart of the Eye on her right, the round machine engulfed in bubbles behind the glass and water. Otherwise the room was a mixture of concrete and natural rock walls that were a remainder of the rock foundation they had quarried in order to build the colony. Making her way to the egg-shaped chair in the middle of the room, she dug up her console from her bag and took Lucas' drive in her hand next.
"Computer," she called out, first weakly then stronger, "Activate."
The room came to life, digital renderings of her console interface filling the air and walls in front of her. Everything had a faint blue glow to it, her skin included, as she bathed in the light of the screen. She held onto Lucas' drive, gripping it a tad too tight, before she plugged it into her console, and everything around her was suddenly full of his equations. They took over the room, floating in their air, drilling into her mind.
"Computer, reconcile," she requested, starting the process.
But waiting was hard, watching his mind challenge her, taunt her, turned everything around. His life's work, the secret between from the first time she'd seen him, was within her grasp. Her curiosity reared its head, leading her into temptation. Now she knew how Eve must've felt in the shadow of the Tree of Wisdom. The palms of her hands were sweating from the heat that her console emitted, her mouth felt dry.
The program ran smoothly, she didn't need to do much herself, just watch it all unfold. Maybe that was why it was so difficult to stay still. The ghost of his touch lingered on her face, his tender smile when he'd lean over her and touch her face with his without kissing her. His scent was hard to recall, but she knew what consisted of. She ran her teeth across her dry lips, feeling how the friction tore at her flesh.
And she straightened herself, closing her eyes as she whispered. "Computer,open secondary action. Search Terra Nova pilgrims: Keyword Lucas."
The program was still running on the background, doing everything he'd wanted and more, but her focus had shifted. The computer riddled through the records, searching and finding things, too many things. The long list expanded until scrolling would've been pointless. Skye reacted with little patience, wiping the sweat from her hands to the side of her pants, before she began typing.
A couple of attempts later she realized there was too much data to go through. She needed to narrow it down, and so she went back to falls, returning the details to her mind. Lucas stood shirtless by the cliffs, making carvings. His smile that made her feel special, wanted. The way he would squeeze her tender flesh in his hands, pleasure running through her.
She sighed in frustration, knowing none of these things answered her questions, which had probably been his point all along. His tactic had been to avert her curious mind, overload her with sensations, emotions. She needed to focus on what he'd said, not done. Skye tried to empty her mind, listen rather than feel. His soft voice murmured to her; it was a river of sound.
Five years in the jungle, she realized. That was before the Sixers, he'd probably arrived long before she had. She entered the new parameters of her search, lowering the hits. It still wasn't enough. Her hands pressed into fists, her nails pressing against the vulnerable flesh of her hand palms. Think, she commanded herself, think.
The second pilgrimage, she then remembered, chiding herself for not thinking of this earlier. She'd go through every name on that list of arrivals if she had to, but she'd find him. Decisive, she raised her voice at the computer, to get it to read her as clearly as possible. "Computer list arrivals on the second pilgrimage. Search for keyword, Lucas."
Hits became fewer now; she narrowed everything but exact hits, believing he wouldn't have lied to her about his name. He hadn't had reason to lie back then, not when he'd chosen to omit details. Yet the thought wouldn't leave her alone either; how perhaps she didn't know him at all.
Five hits remained on the screen, all profiles that fit with the keyword. Skye stood up slowly, placing the console on the seat, as she approached the images hovering in the air. The first one had a picture, the keyword fit with something in his background. Skye recognized him though, tossing the result straight to the trash bin. It was the third result that got her attention: a profile without a picture, just the name hovering a few feet from her: Lucas Taylor.
She tried to access it, a sudden rush of panic overcoming all sense, but the computer wouldn't let her. It kept repeating an error message 'Profile deleted'. Her expression shifted a little at first, her calmness eroding little by little, and then it broke into a distressed frown, anger seeping through her pores like a disease that took over her. She knew then and there, she just knew it was him. Everything made sense with this, everything but her own naivety.
"Computer," she spoke with a trembling voice, trying her best to contain her heightened emotions, "Show me Commander Nathaniel Taylor."
The Commander's profile opened up like a charm, public information showing up even with her security clearance. She'd have thought he was a more private person, but realized eventually that the profile hadn't been altered in years. His family still listed a son, Lucas Taylor.
She tried to access the profile again, hitting the open profile button again and again. The error remained the same 'profile deleted'. Skye hit her hand through the projection in rage, actually bursting into a primal scream at the information in front of her, like she could someone cleanse the tension from her soul. Her voice died before anything was cleansed, leaving behind a hoarse imitation.
It didn't change anything, the truth remained the same. He was Taylor's son, his enemy, and under different circumstances he would've something akin to a foster brother to her. A wave of sickness passed through her, but not because it changed anything between them, no, it was because she realized just how much worse her betrayal was.
She'd run into the Commander's estranged son, who worked with his enemies to bring him down, and she'd fallen in love with him. She'd helped his own son to damage his home, kill his people. As if it wasn't bad enough that Skye had come to care for the Commander, she'd also come to care for Lucas. Suddenly she didn't know if she could take another curveball like this. Her head argued that this couldn't be all.
"Computer, terminate search," she said, snapping herself out of self-pity. "Show reconciliation. Analyze, create a digital model."
She fumbled backwards once the model began to take shape, a cluster of messy lines at first, slowly gaining purpose. Then she realized what she was looking at: it was the fracture, the gate that connected them to 2149. Something flowed through it, a whirlwind connected to the calculations still fluttering in the air.
Were they attempting to hack into the gate, take it under their control? No, it made little sense. Skye shook her head, forcing her focus on the model, when all she could think of really was his name, Lucas Taylor. It rolled off her tongue so easily; she accepted it as truth without even seeing a picture.
Skye didn't bother to resist her urges anymore, as she knew she needed to know everything in order to make her decisions. She would not lead Terra Nova to its ruin, not even for him. She twisted and turned, unable to stand straight while the computer worked its magic, making sense of her lover's brilliant mind. It was what she'd wanted to do since first meeting with him, gaze inside his thoughts: that secluded world of numbers and harsh reality he lived in, where she was the most wondrous thing he'd ever seen. She wanted to understand what the hell could be so important that he would hurt his own father.
Then she remembered how he'd lied to her that he had no family. It froze her for awhile, her confused mind linking the two men inevitably together. They each pretended the other didn't exist, yet fought to remind one another of their existence, refusing to be forgotten. If not, what else could've been the point of Lucas' carvings? Did he not leave them as his epitome, for his father to find?
For the first time she realized she was caught in the middle of something she didn't even fully understand. Was it even about Terra Nova, or something that had happened between father and son and driven them apart? Skye couldn't imagine either of them harming the one they loved, but her mind was quick to judge, to place prejudice.
"What is it?" she asked herself aloud; weary of the secrets and mysteries, angry that she was too stupid to figure it out. "What do you want Lucas?"
Skye circled the projection, studying the model carefully. Her steps were light, she was in no rush. She commanded herself to think, to focus for once in her life. Lucas had told her this was the endgame, that it would solve all of their problems. How? He'd said it would be the end of hiding, being separated, but there was no end to that as long as she was Terra Nova, and he cooped up with the Sixers in the jungle. And the status quo wouldn't change as long as the Sixers were without mean to attack and take control of Terra Nova.
And it really was as simple as that, she realized, stopping with a jerk. She looked at the model intently, awestruck by the simplicity of his plan, the results of his intelligence. He was going to open the gate both ways, to even the score. Whoever had sent the Sixers in the first place probably had enough money to hire armies to march in and take control. But what stopped them was the fact that it was a one way ticket. Terra Nova had everything the future didn't: resources, extinct species, and most importantly hope. He was making the portal go both ways to rally the troops, swoop in and destroy his father's dream.
Against her expectations, Skye realized she was crying again. These tears were silent, her anxiety unwilling to expel with them. No, these were the tears of a girl who'd met a boy and had only now realized how he was about to end everything she cared about. Her dreams slipped away through her fingers, those lovely images of him and her, together and timeless, they all crumbled. What she had left was bitterness.
Everything had changed so suddenly, so violently. This disappointment was becoming a curse, rooted right in her heart, and it spread. She let the computer run its calculations and check the results of his work, but she didn't pay much attention anymore. Her console laid by the chair, forgotten, as she held herself, hugging one knee and pressing her face against it. Time moved by slowly, each step of reconciliation dragging onwards like a diseased animal, waiting for death.
Some hours later, she bolted off her seat as soon as the computer finished checking the data and confirmed, as suspected, his success. Under other circumstances she might've been happy for him, joined him in his elation. But this victory was smeared in blood, lost in the choir of agony. Did he even care? Did he care about the people, who'd made Terra Nova their home and brought their children here for a better tomorrow?
Skye yanked the drive from her console, stuffing it into her pocket, glad that the mocking equations in the air faded as she did this. The room became dim again; the twilight embraced her, hiding her heavy heart as she sneaked away, hoping to god no one would come up to her right now.
The outside air was fresh and lush, but the sun was violent in its shine. It felt too much after everything. Without really making a conscious choice Skye dragged herself towards the Commander's office, still hoping to make sense of this chaos. She had never felt this cold inside, not even when her father died. At least she'd seen that coming, been able to brace herself. Not with Lucas, no with him the truth came from the blind spot, a knife to the side.
She climbed the wooden stairs, the guards posted by them greeting her formally. Yeah, she'd come up to him like this all the time: To play chess by the balcony, to talk about things, to be his daughter really. So why hadn't he told her about Lucas? Why had he kept it all inside?
Skye entered the hut, searching the cool office with her eyes and enjoying the feel of the air conditioning. Just a few minutes outside had already brought sweat on her skin, or was it perhaps cold sweat, roused by her current predicament? But Skye soon realized that the Commander wasn't there to hear her pleads and questions, to ease her troubled heart like he usually did so effortlessly.
It was Lieutenant Washington that greeted her with a nod of acknowledgement, comfortably seated over the Commander's chair, almost as if it were her own. Alicia Washington was one of Taylor's oldest subordinates, his right hand woman for nearly a decade. Seeing her relit hope in Skye, as she knew Washington would have the knowledge she needed all the same, and perhaps she'd be more willing to share it too.
Washington was clad in her usual black tank top, hair tied to a neat ponytail and eyes full of sharpness. She was an admirable figure, always stood tall and proud and followed orders without question. Someone like her could be considered a straight arrow, but Skye had suspected that Taylor and Washington's relationship went beyond their roles in the military, that they were bonded by something stronger. Clearly they shared affection, but it was up to debate whether it was romantic in nature or not. Skye hadn't wanted to put it in categories, although she'd often thought Washington was the closest person to Taylor in Terra Nova. Perhaps she'd been wrong, considering he had a son…
"The Commander's not here, Skye," Washington eventually told her in her usual formal manner, having observed the silent girl by the door a few minutes, patiently waiting for her to initiate conversation. She could see something was wrong, yet hated to get in the middle of it, knew that Taylor would want to deal with it himself.
For a moment Skye wondered if she would've turned out like that too had things gone another way: capable, assertive and fiercely loyal. But Skye couldn't even be loyal to her own damn heart, now could she?
"Actually, it might be better I talk to you," Skye responded quietly, feeling the life pour from her body. She was a ghost of herself, but gladly Washington didn't know her well enough to notice the difference. Her hands kept clutching the shoulder strap of her bag almost possessively, as if to ground her, keep her from falling off the edge of the map. Too bad she was deep in uncharted waters already…
The request seemed to make Washington a bit worried though, Skye noticed. Washington rose from the chair, leaving her console on the table, and she walked up to Skye almost immediately after. As usual, Washington seemed strict and unyielding even when she was being friendly. She held onto her belt with her hands, keeping her gun close, standing in form.
"What is it Skye?" she asked, no signs of alarm in her voice, though her eyes were alert.
"I...," Skye began, her voice trailing off almost immediately. She gathered herself for another try quickly, "I overheard something today, something I wanted to ask about."
Her grip on her bag was still tight, like she was waiting for the world to crumble beneath her, and needed something solid to hold onto. Washington's dead calm didn't help her in keeping her demons in check either.
"The commander… he has a son, doesn't he?" When the words finally rolled off her tongue, she hadn't gotten any more used to the thought of Lucas as Taylor's son. They felt like a mismatch in almost every sense, except their rugged beauty. One was a soldier, tough and unforgiving, the other a brilliant mind, sensitive underneath.
Washington gritted her teeth, trying to keep her face from showing emotion, but it was clear the question roused feelings in her, strong feelings. "Where did you hear that?" she asked almost mechanically, needing to force the question out into the open.
Skye hesitated, not having thought that far. "It was…," she started, unable to finish her thought, when Washington already filled in the gap for her, "Shannon, wasn't it?" The disdain in the Lieutenant's voice was clear. Josh's father must've not been on her good side. Skye settled to nod shyly, as if she hadn't wanted to give away her source. It was better this way though, Washington's suspicions were plausible.
"Why wouldn't he tell me?" Skye asked, melancholy seeping through her voice. She wasn't talking about one Taylor over the other, having realized they had both wanted to hide the truth from her. Ironically both father and son had at least one common interest.
However, hearing her question made Washington uncomfortable too, only she figured Skye was talking about Taylor, not his son.
"Listen Skye, it's very difficult," Washington tried to explain, seeing how this information had affected Skye. Skye allowed Washington to see through the cracks, the maelstrom that she carried inside, because she knew Washington would attribute it all to Taylor, not his son. It was sad how even when she was an emotional wreck, she was still manipulating others.
Washington struggled with the words, the boundaries. But she knew it'd be better to give Skye something, prepare her before she asked Taylor herself. This was the last thing the Commander needed right now, especially since the new discoveries of Lucas' carvings had become more and more frequent as of late. It wasn't Washington's place to explain, yet she wanted to, if only to spare the Commander. He'd been nothing but good to Skye, and he didn't deserve this kind of anxiety for having some secrets.
"The Commander's son is missing. It's very painful for him to know his son is somewhere out there, unreachable," she tried to explain.
"Where is he? Where's his son?" Skye asked, feigning ignorance, a frustrated frown decorating her delicate face. She rolled her eyes, waiting for an answer she already knew: He's in my heart, and he's never leaving.
"I haven't seen Lucas Taylor in five years and neither has his father. He came to Terra Nova soon after his father, but things did not work out as intended. It crushed Taylor," Washington tensed as she told the story, her lips pursing a bit more the further along she got. Skye could feel her irritation with Lucas, that complete lack of respect. And she understood why, she honestly did. Lucas had hurt the Commander, and Washington was nothing if not loyal to her commanding officer.
"What is he like?" Skye inquired, craving for any piece of information, any clue. She could not connect the kind person she'd me, a passionate, loving man to Lucas Taylor, whose name was spoken with such disappointment. She needed to make the connection real, to understand it.
Washington actually glanced at her feet, unsure of what words to pick. She knew he was troubled, traumatized and angry. She also knew he was dangerous, out of control and that he was one of the most brilliant minds of their time. Washington couldn't recall all the times Taylor had spoken of his son with his voice tainted equally by pride and regret. She didn't have words for that - never had. It was a side of Taylor only shown to a few.
"He's a genius," Washington said, thinking back on the positive. Not the rash way he'd rush into fights, raise his voice or withdraw from company like a sullen child. "A bit of loner, an academically trained mind that had trouble understanding us regular folk," she continued, actually summoning something resembling a smile. It lit her face, made her seem younger.
"But they could never be in the same room without fighting. One always repelled the other, words spun out of control. No one else could enrage the Commander quite like his son," she recalled, having witnessed some of their spats.
She knew, of course, that Lucas had plotted to steal Terra Nova from Taylor, that he'd run into the jungle when given no other option. Secretly the turn of events had made her rejoice, for she'd honestly thought it would bring peace to Taylor. In reality, it had only hurt him more. And the carvings in the jungle had slowly devoured Taylor as whole, a constant reminder of how Lucas was still breathing, continuing to hate his father and everything he'd accomplished.
"What happened between them?" Skye asked, fearing her heart would burst with just a little more pressure.
But Washington didn't wish to discuss it further, as she found their conversation drifting to dangerous grounds. It wasn't her job to guess, even if she had some pretty good guesses on what had twisted the brat prince so.
"You'll need to talk to Taylor. I can't say any more," she apologized, genuinely sorry for Skye, seeing how visibly shaken the girl was. She didn't shift from her position though, not even to touch her a bit, to offer solace.
"I see," Skye whispered softly, a faint smile visiting her face a bit, "Thanks."
Washington didn't acknowledge the thank you, as it only made her feel worse about sharing as much as she had. "Talk to him, you'll understand," she simply said, feeling it was best way to encourage Skye, give her a push in the right direction. Perhaps Skye would succeed where she had not: in getting Taylor to let go finally.
Skye turned around and walked away, her hasty steps quickly dissolving into the noise of the colony after she'd vanished from sight.
Washington wondered whether she should've said something more, but the whole situation had felt wildly inappropriate. She'd need to talk to Shannon and have him guard these secrets a bit better. The Commander had chosen to keep Lucas' existence known to only the people he trusted (and the few, who'd lived here at the time of Lucas' disappearance, as they publically called it). It wasn't Shannon's place to start spreading rumors like this, especially considering the consequences.
Skye kept going despite everything once she got out of the office. She nearly flew down the stairs, didn't stop for a word with Maddy, who greeted her from afar, didn't walk up to Hunter when she saw him. There was a burning inside her, it choked the air from her lungs and dried her thoughts, until she was walking in a feverish haze.
When she finally made it to her room, she slammed the door closed, threw her backpack against the wall and just let her feet fall beneath her, dropping to the ground. Pain grounded her during her breakdown, but she felt like she needed more.
Lucas fucking Taylor, she thought, shouting in her thoughts, while nothing but an agonized whimper escaped her clasped lips.
TBC