Terra Nova - Things Lost in the Fire ch3 [Skye/Lucas]
Title: Things Lost in the Fire
Fandom: Terra Nova
Ship: Skye/Lucas
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: bad language, sexual situations, AU
Chapter: 3/?
Summary: Pre-Series. AU story. Skye meets a strange man at Snakehead Falls and ends up falling in love. But can happiness built on anonymity last, when the world around them is on fire?
Author's Note: Note to self: must start writing shorter chapters. Perhaps now that we have the plot actually moving onwards, I can stop lingering in the beauty that is this pairing. ;)
Things Lost in the Fire
3. Loneliness be over
She felt like hyperventilating, screaming until her head exploded and gasping for the air that escaped her so painfully it made her whole body shake. The girl who’d played with fire for three years without being caught was at the end of the road. The net got tighter day after day, forcing her to think of new dangerous ways to supply intelligence to the Sixers, while trying to keep it from permanently harming Terra Nova.
It was all turning into an impossible equation, and Skye was beginning to wonder if she subconsciously wanted to be caught. Any punishment, including the loss of her relationship with Commander Taylor, was better than leading this corroding double life. Josh’s father had come so close to catching her this time, even obtaining a blood sample that would’ve been the definitive proof he needed. Only luck had kept Skye from facing exposure; she’d been able to destroy the blood sample on time.
So why didn’t this feel like victory? Why wasn’t she happier that she could keep her mother save another day? Was it because she knew the stalemate wouldn’t last much longer, that this was all just a sandcastle waiting to be swept away by the stormy sea? Skye admitted it to herself silently, burying her face in her hands. She admitted defeat, the weakness she’d fought for so long. She was only one girl, a simple pawn in this game between Mira and Commander Taylor, and there was no way she was ever turning into a queen by reaching the other end of the chess board.
Hopelessness swept across her, she was this close to breaking and telling her mother everything. For once, she just wanted to be held by someone, who knew about her sins, and be told everything would be okay. Instead her ability for deception became better and better, and the webs she sprung were enough to fool even herself. But just as always, Skye eventually convinced herself to push onwards by imagining her mother on her deathbed, by making herself believe there was no other choice.
She packed her backpack, stuffing it with food and supplies. Tears stung her eyes, nearly clouding her eyesight. A massive headache, incited by her crazy stress levels, forced her to rub her temples until it subsided. She’d lost some weight, as the confrontations between the two sides had become more intense and frequent. She could smell the gasoline; it was waiting for a match to light it, to burn it all down. And Skye was smack in the middle of this no-man’s-land they kept sowing mines in. Only she knew how to tread carefully, to creep across them unnoticed.
Her breathing became stilted, like she needed every ounce of her will to keep on going. Tonight was the night, she promised herself, gaining a small portion of her crumbling self-control back. Tonight was the night she’d tell her mother what was really going on, before she broke down for good. Ten long seconds later that painful lump in her throat vanished, giving room for action. She was able to move her stiff feet again. Skye pulled on her clothes and backpack and listened for awhile, making sure her housemates were all asleep, before she snuck out.
The outside air calmed her nerves a bit, and the darkness returned her courage, leading her towards the fence. She listened closely for anything out of order, searched for the security cameras, slipping by them once the first chance arrived. This part was easy, forcing her body to move with haste through the jungle. It required no independent thought, just the experience from all these years and some focus. Yet she banged her knee on a tree at one point, slipping on something in the dark. Curses erupted from her lips, quickly fading to whispers. A tear of pain landed on her cheek, finding its way down. And then she picked herself up again, set into motion, pain subsiding eventually.
Once deeper in the jungle, Skye picked up her flashlight and shone it towards the distance: a secret sequence of light, like the Sixer handshake or something, which she used to contact Mira. Some minutes later a response shone, signaling her that a guide would arrive. Skye didn’t mind waiting. All she had was time. If anyone came looking for her tonight, she’d just lie her way out of it. Her knee exhibited some pain from before, and she sat over a tree trunk, nursing it while she waited.
The chill of the night licked her skin, almost like the ghost of a lover by her side. She no longer jumped at such contact hopefully. Hope had died inside her after six months of elusive dreams. She’d learned the most important lesson an adult could. Fairytales were a thing of the past, and whatever he hadn’t told her by the rocks that day, would’ve most likely destroyed them another day. It was better to fade away, than burn.
A guide and his support arrived, their presence introduced by the rustling leaves. Skye thought them quite noisy, but didn’t bother to comment on it. Unlike her, this was their territory and they had guns. She recognized one of the men, his dark features painted with yellow war paint. He also supported dinosaur bones in his long hair like trophies. Of course the truth of the technological level at their disposal contradicted their tribal appearance, but this cold war was all about deception. And she couldn’t even warn Commander Taylor about it.
They continued onwards together, neither of them speaking a word. There was no need for polite chatter or threats. No one but Mira, Carter and her own mother hardly talked to her during her visits. It was probably wise to leave Skye outside their circles. She was very close to danger each day, and if caught she’d tell the Commander everything. Skye saw no use hiding her dislike for this struggle, or her support for Terra Nova, but had she chosen a different path all those years ago, she might’ve been able to acquire intelligence for Terra Nova as well when needed.
The silent hike lasted a little while, and they drove the rest of the way with a stolen vehicle. Driving to the Sixer camp saved them some time, but Skye suspected Mira wouldn’t be too pleased with her when she realized how little she had to give this time. The fuel spent on the trip would probably be more useful to her than anything Skye had to say today. For once Skye didn’t feel guilty over that. Tonight was the night, she repeated silently in her head.
She followed instructions and was guided to a rope lift, once they reached the camp. Skye examined the lift for a moment, moving her good leg within the noose so that it supported her foot, after realizing her other knee was still hurting. She grabbed the rope with both hands next, placing her entire weight on the rope. A couple of Sixers then lifted her to the hidden settlement in the tree lines next. What was usually a fun ride arose no feelings in her tonight. She merely stepped off the lift once up, following the familiar route towards her mother.
Carter waited for her, his face as expressionless as always, leaned against a wooden rail on the bridge she was crossing. He extended his hand a bit once she reached him, and Skye placed the Intel in his hand, gaining a small nod from him in return. He then walked away without as much as a word. Mira must’ve been busy to send Carter, Skye thought, forgetting all about her acquaintances when she entered the hut her mother was placed inside.
Deborah was sleeping, her shaky body wrapped in a blanket. She seemed peaceful, a small source of joy for Skye, who kneeled before her mother, gently stroking her hair. It would’ve been cruel to wake her up just to confess to those horrible truths, she realized, torn between what she needed herself and what she wanted for her mother.
Skye could imagine that the worst nightmare of a parent had to be watching idly by as their child fought for their life. So far Deborah hadn’t realized the gravity of the situation, and Skye had begged Mira not to tell countless times, but eventually she would find out, whether Skye wanted her to or not. It wasn’t the job of a child to protect their parents, now was it?
After long minutes of silence, Skye finally allowed herself to relax. She kneeled next to her mother’s bed and just sat there, buried in thoughts. Her mother’s calm breathing sounded a bit better this time, not as raspy. Good omens were rare in her life at the moment, so she’d take anything right about now. Skye imagined she’d need to stand up to Mira in awhile, once she’d realize the worth of her recent Intel. Maybe Mira would threaten her mother or tighten the leash around Skye’s neck? Fear clutched her again, the wind howling in the distance at her terror.
Then something moved in the distance, rousing Skye from her thoughts. She rose quickly, turning around, swallowing visibly. But the figure emerging from the darkness wasn’t friend or foe, it was Lucas.
A jolt passed through her body, the last six months vanished from her mind, and she was at the falls with him again: sad, crazy for contact, in love. There was something primal about the way her body reacted to seeing him, like she was blooming again after a long winter. But Skye didn’t smile, because Lucas didn’t either. He just stared at her blankly, his eyes betraying his tiredness.
“You’ve cut your hair,” Skye said, speaking the first thing that came on her mind. She also noticed he wore the same clothes and his knuckles were bruised, but otherwise he still looked the same.
His smile came with delay, almost shy at first. “Is that all you have to say to me?” He asked, clearly amused with the low-key reaction their reunion had caused.
Skye realized that a smile crept across her face as well, tears stung her eyes. “Is it done?” she asked, her broken voice betraying the sudden burst of emotions that seeing him had brought forth: joy, disbelief, pain, relief.
Something flickered in his eyes, hesitation she realized, and he turned his gaze from her towards her mother. “Not here,” he told her, his body already in motion by the time she could comprehend his words. Lucas brushed by her, taking her hand in his and pulling her in his wake away from her mother. Skye allowed herself to be led, to enjoy the feel of his hand in hers, to inhale his familiar scent. His grip was tight, secure.
And he pulled them onwards, towards a location she didn’t know. It was so quiet in the Sixer camp, like no one else was up but them. Skye knew the guards were watching though, they always lurked somewhere invisible. She held onto his hand tighter, thinking someone would alert Mira any minute now and interrupt them. That woman couldn’t stand her, and would probably jump at the chance of taking something from her.
They reached a hut and Lucas stopped at its entrance, gently pushing her inside first. He scanned around them for a moment, knowing they probably had curious eyes upon them already. His presence here was the beginning of the end, truly something to talk about. Unfortunately the sheepish faith the Sixers put in his abilities also made them look up to him like a secluded messiah in the woods. He’d been shooing them off his back constantly since he’d arrived to camp a few days ago. At least there was some privacy within his hut.
He followed her inside a moment later, finding her already fast at work, scanning the long rows of paper full of calculations that was all over the walls. Just like that time at the falls she tried to grasp its meaning, to understand what was so important, and failed to do so. Lucas approached her from behind, tying his arms around her, burying his face in the nook of her neck.
“I missed you,” he whispered, his voice reduced to a bemused whisper full of raw yearning. He was unwilling to put his obsession with her into more words, knowing words weren’t needed, not with her.
She’d consumed his mind, forced him to work faster, to give his everything. In the end his hatred hadn’t been the reason he’d pushed himself so hard, it’d been for her, for them. And having her here now was his just rewards, a moment in time he could lapse in his concentration and role as leader, and just be by her side.
Skye leaned backwards into his embrace, having missed his touch greatly. Doubt lingered in the back of her exhausted mind though. She could tell he wasn’t here just to see her, no that would’ve too much in this world where she was constantly treated like a pawn. She hadn’t allowed herself to think of them as enemies that day, but now the question had to be asked, whether she wanted to or not. Why was Lucas here? What was he doing for Mira?
He sensed her stiffness in his arms, realizing the camp wasn’t exactly a sanctuary for Skye. She came here when asked, did what was told, exchanged a few kind words with her mother and then flew right back into her cage. It’d be difficult to let her guard down, especially when their accommodations didn’t offer that much privacy. All he needed was a little while longer, one last step in his plans, and all that would be meaningless. He’d name cities after her, once Terra Nova was his, and his father lied defeated by his feet.
“Is it done?” Skye asked again, trying her hardest to keep her voice from trembling. That horrible feeling would not leave her alone. It was like a premonition of something terrible to come, and it grew and grew within her. She could no longer override her sense with passion, like she’d done that day. So she turned to face him, her expression devoid from tenderness and love, nothing left but hurt.
Lucas wanted to silence her, stop her from asking that. He’d wanted to do anything but talk about it with her, and yet she demanded answers. Not knowing was for her own protection.
He grit his teeth a bit to gain control over his irritation, his smile fading when he admitted, “No, not yet.”
Skye stepped backwards, out of his reach, standing her ground in this matter. “Then what are you doing here?” she asked, watching the rest of the kindness he’d shown her crumble away. What was left behind was the same man she’d met once before, so engrossed in his work he hadn’t even noticed her at first.
“Same thing you are, my dearest. I’m here for some help,” he explained, spreading his arms to point at the calculations all around them. “I need something from you.”
Of course he did, Skye thought cynically, disappointment spreading in her body like cancer. Even that day she’d been second fiddle to his work; it had denied the answers to her questions, pushed him into distracting her with intimacy whenever she’d gotten too close.
“I’m not sure Mira would-,” she started, but got cut off quickly by him, “Trust me, Skye, she won’t mind. Not this time.”
He stood in front of her prideful and arrogant, trusting his own words like they were the only truth in the world. Suddenly she wanted to return to the moment before this, when he’d still looked at her like she was the sun at the center of the universe. This Lucas scared her. His passion for his goals was unbelievable. He actually reminded her a bit about Mira, and that was no compliment. His eyes were cold, and so was her heart.
This was not how he’d imagined their reunion. Skye was different somehow, wary of his every move and word. She no longer accepted his reasons, but demanded to look behind the curtain, no matter the cost. “Please don’t look at me like that,” he asked her, his expression softening again. “I need you.”
Hearing the words didn’t make it any easier to accept she was being asked to spy by the man she’d confided in; by the man she’d told how much she hated this. All the consideration he’d shown her, all his words to give her strength to go on that day felt like nothing now. Skye was about to say it all aloud, when they were interrupted suddenly.
Mira entered the tent, clearly startled by Skye’s presence once she noticed her. Lucas didn’t even flinch at the interruption, though he did look annoyed. “Why are you talking to her?” Mira asked with a frown. Her eyes studied Skye with that penetrating glare that froze her insides.
Lucas simply shrugged her comment, like it was nothing. “Well that’s none of your business, now is it?” he replied sharply, his tone of voice both commanding and threatening. Mira reacted to it visibly, tearing her eyes from him, her authority and pride wounded. But she made no effort to counter his words, and the tension in the room reached its peak in a charged silence.
Skye listened with wide eyes, the clues opening up a new conclusion she just had not considered before. And once she got there, it was like being punched in the gut: Lucas was the leader, not Mira. For once she couldn’t mask her very visceral reaction; it was all over her face, readable also to Lucas.
“I need to see my mother,” she said, trying to flee while she still could, but he caught her by her arm, and effectively stopped her.
“Mira, I have business with your girl. Come talk to me afterwards if you have anything,” Lucas pointed his harsh words at Mira, but they served the purpose of cutting Skye’s escape short as well. He acted differently in front of Mira, hiding any trace of weakness, emotion. He was cold and calculating, and just the sound of his unusually cruel voice managed to hurt her.
Mira was wise enough to bow out of the situation quickly, despite her displease with this turn of events. Lucas was treading on her grounds, Skye had been her spy, and his presence here should’ve been a better kept secret, she reasoned, but knew she couldn’t convince him otherwise.
“Fine then,” Mira agreed calmly, “We will talk afterwards.”
Lucas’ grip grew tighter while Mira exited, like he expected Skye to make a run for it. Oh, he wasn’t far off either; Skye was boiling and wanted to be nowhere near him right now, but she knew better than to make a scene in front of Mira, so she waited. As soon as she no longer heard Mira’s receding steps, she tore herself from his grip, fury spreading across her beautiful face.
“It’s funny how you forgot to mention you’re their leader?” she hissed at him, hurt and betrayed. She’d said so many things to him, confided about her mother and how she feared for her. And all that time he’d been the one holding her leash and her mother’s life in his hands. He could’ve ended this hell anytime he wanted to!
Lucas didn’t find her anger very attractive. Of course he understood how she felt, but she’d demanded to be told in the first place, while he’d argued that it was for her own best she didn’t know. “As I said,” he explained while approaching her, “It was for your own good.”
“The hell it was!” she actually shouted. All that anger and rage she’d harbored towards Mira was now directed at him, and she couldn’t stand it. She closed the gap between them, staring directly into his deceiving green eyes, as she closed a bundle of his shirt within her fist, grabbing him by the collar. “You were using me!” she accused him, setting the spark between them alit like wildfire.
Was it the separation and sudden closeness, or just the way she took charge that made Lucas forget his anger? He didn’t know, but that same fascination he’d had for her back then was alive right now, and it commanded him to crush her lips with his. He took her head into his hands, pulling her closer hungrily, and yearning for the one thing he’d denied himself for six long months. His patience ran out completely.
Her initial anger dissolved in that kiss, this fiery promise that the loneliness and desolation she’d felt during his absence would be gone forever. But an echo remained; it scorched her chest, reminding her of all the other things that remained unsaid between them. By the time she pulled away, dizzy from his affections, her lips felt bruised, and Lucas could only look at her with disbelief, wounded by her withdrawal.
Damnit with his success in sidetracking her again! Skye cursed silently and rubbed her lips with her hand, catching her breath.”It doesn’t change anything, Lucas,” she finally spoke, a bitter aftertaste in her mouth. Reality was different from a dream, a love at first sight that had no grounds outside that isolated incident. Outside things were much more complicated, they were more complicated.
She avoided looking at him, at that handsome face demanding for her attention. Those miraculous green eyes had haunted her day and night for so long. She could’ve recited his sweet words from that day even in sleep. It hurt her to know he was within reach now, and she could not succumb to temptation anymore. She needed to be stronger.
Lucas didn’t approach her again. He chose to give her some space, some room for thought. But he did stand in front of her, towering in his height. He was a frightening figure in the light of the lonely lantern set on the table. There was nothing carefree about him now. Actually he reminded her more about a predator, calculating when to strike and when to back down. Lucas chose another tactic to win her trust again.
“Why does she call you Bucket?” he asked softly, thinking of the sickly woman cursed to her bed, the woman Skye had given everything for.
This obviously got her attention and lowered her guard a bit. “You’ve talked to my mother,” she realized, speaking more to her than him. She didn’t like it, but knew it had been unavoidable, once Lucas had set foot in this camp again. Skye confronted him, saw how he observed her reaction and tried to act as nonchalant as possible. “It’s from when I was a kid,” she explained, realizing quickly he wanted the details as well.
With a sigh she started her story, “I adored my father, he was the world to me. It was my dream to be just like him, a soldier. So bucket in head I’d pretend I was one. Silly, isn’t it?”
Her expression shifted mid-story, warming up, opening so beautifully. He could see all the love she’d had for her father, and it caused ghost-pain in his own chest. He’d once loved his father as well, but not anymore, not in over ten years.
“I like it, it suits you,” he responded, his expression also softening. Yet the argument was far from over. He still had his request.
“Would you have embraced me, if I’d told you…, Bucket?” he asked truthfully, revealing his own insecurity for a moment. It passed by quickly, but she saw it alright, realizing his intention had not been malice, but fear. His throne was lonely and far from his subordinates, even Mira. Lucas didn’t belong with the Sixers even though they worked for similar goals, she understood that suddenly.
Little by little her anger slipped away. “No, I would’ve…,” she swallowed the rest of her sentence, locking that thought in a safe within her heart. “I would’ve never let you so close,” Skye then told him, somewhat ashamed of her own narrow view of the world. It wasn’t all black and white, good against evil.
“Well I didn’t lie,” he claimed, his voice stronger and clearer now. “You did bewitch me.”
“With my bikini,” Skye smirked, laughter finding its way back into her system after a long absence. It caught him as well, peeling the cruel layers he used to control those around him, and revealing that man she loved underneath. “With your incredibly revealing bikini,” he confirmed playfully.
Her mind wandered quickly back to her mother though. It pained her that she had to ask him this. “You do know what Mira’s been doing can be considered blackmail?” she asked him, hoping he’d put an end to this, save her when she was unable to herself. Lucas shifted a bit, as if uncomfortable with the thought. Then he answered as truthfully as he could, “Yes I know.”
It felt like her chest would implode any minute now, but she forced herself to go on. “Will you make me continue this charade? Will you hold her life against me too?” She needed an answer, begged for it all to end now. Skye was literally at her limits, so close to the ledge she could barely move at all.
Lucas recognized her despair, her vulnerability and hugged her suddenly, caressing her back as he promised her, “I would never hurt your mother.”
Skye’s anxiety came out, and broke into tears right in his embrace, relief washing over her. Lucas held her, knowing she was crying three years’ worth of tears right now. He let her, while he contemplated on a proper to approach her with his request. He needed her to do it freely, without question, but knew she had to be tricked.
“Thank you, thank you,” she sobbed against him, her weak voice barely registering in his ears. She sounded distant, like a reminiscent of the fierce Skye, who tackled him bravely. A part of him felt distaste over this public display of weakness, and another part reminded him how he’d have done the same for his dear mother, may she rest in peace. He didn’t know what to say back, so he just rocked her in his arms, waiting for his opportunity.
“For six months, you were all I could think about whenever I took a break from my work. You consumed me day and night,” he suddenly started telling her, holding her petite body against his, feeding off her warmth.
“I knew we would meet again, Bucket. But the only thing between us is the unfinished task.” For a moment Lucas’ voice shivered, betraying him, alerting her. Then he gathered himself and pulled away to claim eye contact. Her eyes were red from tears, her cheeks wet, but there was sharpness in her gaze.
“Will you help me finish it?” Lucas asked, like it was the simplest thing in the world. Skye was flushed with doubt though; she knew this tune all too well. But it was different from before. Lucas was begging her, not telling her, not blackmailing her. Actually he was offering her rewards and asking something small in return, or so she reasoned.
Skye was suddenly reminded of reality: the calculations around them, his obsession. His request had to do something with them. She frowned, her face revealing pain over his request. She yielded though, wanting to trust him. “How could I possibly help you? I’m not a genius,” she replied awkwardly, hoped he would just forget it.
Not Lucas though, no, he had it all planned. He cupped her cheek, wiping away the residue moist from her tears. “I’m almost done, Skye. I need to check my calculations, but it would take forever by hand. You know we can’t be together until my work is done.” Light dimmed within her soul, that bad feeling taking root again.
“But the computers in Terra Nova, the Eye, can check it in a matter of hours. And everything would be over then, all of this hiding, being separated from the ones you love, even your mother’s sickness. Please, Bucket, you need to do this for us,” he walked her through it, painted such pictures in her mind, like it was their common goal. He pleaded for her to end her mother’s suffering and her own.
It was just some calculations, no big deal. After that all the obstacles would be off their path, they would have all the time in the world. No more spying, no more lying. Skye couldn’t lie and say that wasn’t everything she wanted.
He saw her walls come crushing down, slid a small device out of his pocket and into her hand, while he kissed her forehead. “Thank you, Bucket,” he said, meaning his words.
His lips lingered on her forehead, and when she turned her head to see him, he lowered them to her lips, his stubble grazing them. He kissed her thoroughly, wanting to taste her so bad. And while he knew he needed to let her go again, the thought of leaving her grew more and more painful by the minute, this choking passion gaining a strong foothold in his otherwise rational mind.
There was a conflict within him: his reason demanded that he continued his seclusion until his work was done, but that tight knot inside responded to this rationale with pain. Lucas couldn’t recall ever being in love. He’d experienced and sated lust like any other young man, but his eye had been at his goal: destroying his father.
Despite his charm and good looks, Lucas hadn’t come across anyone he’d considered worthy of his time and attention before Terra Nova, and his mind had been on other things since his arrival. Over five years of his life had been lost in these woods, chasing the impossible, feeling the jungle erode his sanity little by little.
Skye brought forth that kind side of his character he’d longed to bury, after deeming caring a weakness. No one had cared about him, why should he care about anyone else? Because she filled him with light, because she looked at him like he was the center of the world, and she didn’t even ask his name in return. She didn’t want to chain him, own him, or tell him what to do. His fears were gone when she was near, his mind at rest.
But this was not the place, not the time.
Lucas let her go, knowing they weren’t alone. Mira waited for him, not far off. There were things that needed taking care of, and Skye needed to get back.
He raked her wavy hair with his fingers, this simple gesture calming him. Skye rested her head against his chest, finally feeling like there was someone she could rely on, even if the feeling was fleeting. The device within her fist made her fingers feel numb, as she held onto it, her entire future depending on it.
TBC
Fandom: Terra Nova
Ship: Skye/Lucas
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: bad language, sexual situations, AU
Chapter: 3/?
Summary: Pre-Series. AU story. Skye meets a strange man at Snakehead Falls and ends up falling in love. But can happiness built on anonymity last, when the world around them is on fire?
Author's Note: Note to self: must start writing shorter chapters. Perhaps now that we have the plot actually moving onwards, I can stop lingering in the beauty that is this pairing. ;)
Things Lost in the Fire
3. Loneliness be over
She felt like hyperventilating, screaming until her head exploded and gasping for the air that escaped her so painfully it made her whole body shake. The girl who’d played with fire for three years without being caught was at the end of the road. The net got tighter day after day, forcing her to think of new dangerous ways to supply intelligence to the Sixers, while trying to keep it from permanently harming Terra Nova.
It was all turning into an impossible equation, and Skye was beginning to wonder if she subconsciously wanted to be caught. Any punishment, including the loss of her relationship with Commander Taylor, was better than leading this corroding double life. Josh’s father had come so close to catching her this time, even obtaining a blood sample that would’ve been the definitive proof he needed. Only luck had kept Skye from facing exposure; she’d been able to destroy the blood sample on time.
So why didn’t this feel like victory? Why wasn’t she happier that she could keep her mother save another day? Was it because she knew the stalemate wouldn’t last much longer, that this was all just a sandcastle waiting to be swept away by the stormy sea? Skye admitted it to herself silently, burying her face in her hands. She admitted defeat, the weakness she’d fought for so long. She was only one girl, a simple pawn in this game between Mira and Commander Taylor, and there was no way she was ever turning into a queen by reaching the other end of the chess board.
Hopelessness swept across her, she was this close to breaking and telling her mother everything. For once, she just wanted to be held by someone, who knew about her sins, and be told everything would be okay. Instead her ability for deception became better and better, and the webs she sprung were enough to fool even herself. But just as always, Skye eventually convinced herself to push onwards by imagining her mother on her deathbed, by making herself believe there was no other choice.
She packed her backpack, stuffing it with food and supplies. Tears stung her eyes, nearly clouding her eyesight. A massive headache, incited by her crazy stress levels, forced her to rub her temples until it subsided. She’d lost some weight, as the confrontations between the two sides had become more intense and frequent. She could smell the gasoline; it was waiting for a match to light it, to burn it all down. And Skye was smack in the middle of this no-man’s-land they kept sowing mines in. Only she knew how to tread carefully, to creep across them unnoticed.
Her breathing became stilted, like she needed every ounce of her will to keep on going. Tonight was the night, she promised herself, gaining a small portion of her crumbling self-control back. Tonight was the night she’d tell her mother what was really going on, before she broke down for good. Ten long seconds later that painful lump in her throat vanished, giving room for action. She was able to move her stiff feet again. Skye pulled on her clothes and backpack and listened for awhile, making sure her housemates were all asleep, before she snuck out.
The outside air calmed her nerves a bit, and the darkness returned her courage, leading her towards the fence. She listened closely for anything out of order, searched for the security cameras, slipping by them once the first chance arrived. This part was easy, forcing her body to move with haste through the jungle. It required no independent thought, just the experience from all these years and some focus. Yet she banged her knee on a tree at one point, slipping on something in the dark. Curses erupted from her lips, quickly fading to whispers. A tear of pain landed on her cheek, finding its way down. And then she picked herself up again, set into motion, pain subsiding eventually.
Once deeper in the jungle, Skye picked up her flashlight and shone it towards the distance: a secret sequence of light, like the Sixer handshake or something, which she used to contact Mira. Some minutes later a response shone, signaling her that a guide would arrive. Skye didn’t mind waiting. All she had was time. If anyone came looking for her tonight, she’d just lie her way out of it. Her knee exhibited some pain from before, and she sat over a tree trunk, nursing it while she waited.
The chill of the night licked her skin, almost like the ghost of a lover by her side. She no longer jumped at such contact hopefully. Hope had died inside her after six months of elusive dreams. She’d learned the most important lesson an adult could. Fairytales were a thing of the past, and whatever he hadn’t told her by the rocks that day, would’ve most likely destroyed them another day. It was better to fade away, than burn.
A guide and his support arrived, their presence introduced by the rustling leaves. Skye thought them quite noisy, but didn’t bother to comment on it. Unlike her, this was their territory and they had guns. She recognized one of the men, his dark features painted with yellow war paint. He also supported dinosaur bones in his long hair like trophies. Of course the truth of the technological level at their disposal contradicted their tribal appearance, but this cold war was all about deception. And she couldn’t even warn Commander Taylor about it.
They continued onwards together, neither of them speaking a word. There was no need for polite chatter or threats. No one but Mira, Carter and her own mother hardly talked to her during her visits. It was probably wise to leave Skye outside their circles. She was very close to danger each day, and if caught she’d tell the Commander everything. Skye saw no use hiding her dislike for this struggle, or her support for Terra Nova, but had she chosen a different path all those years ago, she might’ve been able to acquire intelligence for Terra Nova as well when needed.
The silent hike lasted a little while, and they drove the rest of the way with a stolen vehicle. Driving to the Sixer camp saved them some time, but Skye suspected Mira wouldn’t be too pleased with her when she realized how little she had to give this time. The fuel spent on the trip would probably be more useful to her than anything Skye had to say today. For once Skye didn’t feel guilty over that. Tonight was the night, she repeated silently in her head.
She followed instructions and was guided to a rope lift, once they reached the camp. Skye examined the lift for a moment, moving her good leg within the noose so that it supported her foot, after realizing her other knee was still hurting. She grabbed the rope with both hands next, placing her entire weight on the rope. A couple of Sixers then lifted her to the hidden settlement in the tree lines next. What was usually a fun ride arose no feelings in her tonight. She merely stepped off the lift once up, following the familiar route towards her mother.
Carter waited for her, his face as expressionless as always, leaned against a wooden rail on the bridge she was crossing. He extended his hand a bit once she reached him, and Skye placed the Intel in his hand, gaining a small nod from him in return. He then walked away without as much as a word. Mira must’ve been busy to send Carter, Skye thought, forgetting all about her acquaintances when she entered the hut her mother was placed inside.
Deborah was sleeping, her shaky body wrapped in a blanket. She seemed peaceful, a small source of joy for Skye, who kneeled before her mother, gently stroking her hair. It would’ve been cruel to wake her up just to confess to those horrible truths, she realized, torn between what she needed herself and what she wanted for her mother.
Skye could imagine that the worst nightmare of a parent had to be watching idly by as their child fought for their life. So far Deborah hadn’t realized the gravity of the situation, and Skye had begged Mira not to tell countless times, but eventually she would find out, whether Skye wanted her to or not. It wasn’t the job of a child to protect their parents, now was it?
After long minutes of silence, Skye finally allowed herself to relax. She kneeled next to her mother’s bed and just sat there, buried in thoughts. Her mother’s calm breathing sounded a bit better this time, not as raspy. Good omens were rare in her life at the moment, so she’d take anything right about now. Skye imagined she’d need to stand up to Mira in awhile, once she’d realize the worth of her recent Intel. Maybe Mira would threaten her mother or tighten the leash around Skye’s neck? Fear clutched her again, the wind howling in the distance at her terror.
Then something moved in the distance, rousing Skye from her thoughts. She rose quickly, turning around, swallowing visibly. But the figure emerging from the darkness wasn’t friend or foe, it was Lucas.
A jolt passed through her body, the last six months vanished from her mind, and she was at the falls with him again: sad, crazy for contact, in love. There was something primal about the way her body reacted to seeing him, like she was blooming again after a long winter. But Skye didn’t smile, because Lucas didn’t either. He just stared at her blankly, his eyes betraying his tiredness.
“You’ve cut your hair,” Skye said, speaking the first thing that came on her mind. She also noticed he wore the same clothes and his knuckles were bruised, but otherwise he still looked the same.
His smile came with delay, almost shy at first. “Is that all you have to say to me?” He asked, clearly amused with the low-key reaction their reunion had caused.
Skye realized that a smile crept across her face as well, tears stung her eyes. “Is it done?” she asked, her broken voice betraying the sudden burst of emotions that seeing him had brought forth: joy, disbelief, pain, relief.
Something flickered in his eyes, hesitation she realized, and he turned his gaze from her towards her mother. “Not here,” he told her, his body already in motion by the time she could comprehend his words. Lucas brushed by her, taking her hand in his and pulling her in his wake away from her mother. Skye allowed herself to be led, to enjoy the feel of his hand in hers, to inhale his familiar scent. His grip was tight, secure.
And he pulled them onwards, towards a location she didn’t know. It was so quiet in the Sixer camp, like no one else was up but them. Skye knew the guards were watching though, they always lurked somewhere invisible. She held onto his hand tighter, thinking someone would alert Mira any minute now and interrupt them. That woman couldn’t stand her, and would probably jump at the chance of taking something from her.
They reached a hut and Lucas stopped at its entrance, gently pushing her inside first. He scanned around them for a moment, knowing they probably had curious eyes upon them already. His presence here was the beginning of the end, truly something to talk about. Unfortunately the sheepish faith the Sixers put in his abilities also made them look up to him like a secluded messiah in the woods. He’d been shooing them off his back constantly since he’d arrived to camp a few days ago. At least there was some privacy within his hut.
He followed her inside a moment later, finding her already fast at work, scanning the long rows of paper full of calculations that was all over the walls. Just like that time at the falls she tried to grasp its meaning, to understand what was so important, and failed to do so. Lucas approached her from behind, tying his arms around her, burying his face in the nook of her neck.
“I missed you,” he whispered, his voice reduced to a bemused whisper full of raw yearning. He was unwilling to put his obsession with her into more words, knowing words weren’t needed, not with her.
She’d consumed his mind, forced him to work faster, to give his everything. In the end his hatred hadn’t been the reason he’d pushed himself so hard, it’d been for her, for them. And having her here now was his just rewards, a moment in time he could lapse in his concentration and role as leader, and just be by her side.
Skye leaned backwards into his embrace, having missed his touch greatly. Doubt lingered in the back of her exhausted mind though. She could tell he wasn’t here just to see her, no that would’ve too much in this world where she was constantly treated like a pawn. She hadn’t allowed herself to think of them as enemies that day, but now the question had to be asked, whether she wanted to or not. Why was Lucas here? What was he doing for Mira?
He sensed her stiffness in his arms, realizing the camp wasn’t exactly a sanctuary for Skye. She came here when asked, did what was told, exchanged a few kind words with her mother and then flew right back into her cage. It’d be difficult to let her guard down, especially when their accommodations didn’t offer that much privacy. All he needed was a little while longer, one last step in his plans, and all that would be meaningless. He’d name cities after her, once Terra Nova was his, and his father lied defeated by his feet.
“Is it done?” Skye asked again, trying her hardest to keep her voice from trembling. That horrible feeling would not leave her alone. It was like a premonition of something terrible to come, and it grew and grew within her. She could no longer override her sense with passion, like she’d done that day. So she turned to face him, her expression devoid from tenderness and love, nothing left but hurt.
Lucas wanted to silence her, stop her from asking that. He’d wanted to do anything but talk about it with her, and yet she demanded answers. Not knowing was for her own protection.
He grit his teeth a bit to gain control over his irritation, his smile fading when he admitted, “No, not yet.”
Skye stepped backwards, out of his reach, standing her ground in this matter. “Then what are you doing here?” she asked, watching the rest of the kindness he’d shown her crumble away. What was left behind was the same man she’d met once before, so engrossed in his work he hadn’t even noticed her at first.
“Same thing you are, my dearest. I’m here for some help,” he explained, spreading his arms to point at the calculations all around them. “I need something from you.”
Of course he did, Skye thought cynically, disappointment spreading in her body like cancer. Even that day she’d been second fiddle to his work; it had denied the answers to her questions, pushed him into distracting her with intimacy whenever she’d gotten too close.
“I’m not sure Mira would-,” she started, but got cut off quickly by him, “Trust me, Skye, she won’t mind. Not this time.”
He stood in front of her prideful and arrogant, trusting his own words like they were the only truth in the world. Suddenly she wanted to return to the moment before this, when he’d still looked at her like she was the sun at the center of the universe. This Lucas scared her. His passion for his goals was unbelievable. He actually reminded her a bit about Mira, and that was no compliment. His eyes were cold, and so was her heart.
This was not how he’d imagined their reunion. Skye was different somehow, wary of his every move and word. She no longer accepted his reasons, but demanded to look behind the curtain, no matter the cost. “Please don’t look at me like that,” he asked her, his expression softening again. “I need you.”
Hearing the words didn’t make it any easier to accept she was being asked to spy by the man she’d confided in; by the man she’d told how much she hated this. All the consideration he’d shown her, all his words to give her strength to go on that day felt like nothing now. Skye was about to say it all aloud, when they were interrupted suddenly.
Mira entered the tent, clearly startled by Skye’s presence once she noticed her. Lucas didn’t even flinch at the interruption, though he did look annoyed. “Why are you talking to her?” Mira asked with a frown. Her eyes studied Skye with that penetrating glare that froze her insides.
Lucas simply shrugged her comment, like it was nothing. “Well that’s none of your business, now is it?” he replied sharply, his tone of voice both commanding and threatening. Mira reacted to it visibly, tearing her eyes from him, her authority and pride wounded. But she made no effort to counter his words, and the tension in the room reached its peak in a charged silence.
Skye listened with wide eyes, the clues opening up a new conclusion she just had not considered before. And once she got there, it was like being punched in the gut: Lucas was the leader, not Mira. For once she couldn’t mask her very visceral reaction; it was all over her face, readable also to Lucas.
“I need to see my mother,” she said, trying to flee while she still could, but he caught her by her arm, and effectively stopped her.
“Mira, I have business with your girl. Come talk to me afterwards if you have anything,” Lucas pointed his harsh words at Mira, but they served the purpose of cutting Skye’s escape short as well. He acted differently in front of Mira, hiding any trace of weakness, emotion. He was cold and calculating, and just the sound of his unusually cruel voice managed to hurt her.
Mira was wise enough to bow out of the situation quickly, despite her displease with this turn of events. Lucas was treading on her grounds, Skye had been her spy, and his presence here should’ve been a better kept secret, she reasoned, but knew she couldn’t convince him otherwise.
“Fine then,” Mira agreed calmly, “We will talk afterwards.”
Lucas’ grip grew tighter while Mira exited, like he expected Skye to make a run for it. Oh, he wasn’t far off either; Skye was boiling and wanted to be nowhere near him right now, but she knew better than to make a scene in front of Mira, so she waited. As soon as she no longer heard Mira’s receding steps, she tore herself from his grip, fury spreading across her beautiful face.
“It’s funny how you forgot to mention you’re their leader?” she hissed at him, hurt and betrayed. She’d said so many things to him, confided about her mother and how she feared for her. And all that time he’d been the one holding her leash and her mother’s life in his hands. He could’ve ended this hell anytime he wanted to!
Lucas didn’t find her anger very attractive. Of course he understood how she felt, but she’d demanded to be told in the first place, while he’d argued that it was for her own best she didn’t know. “As I said,” he explained while approaching her, “It was for your own good.”
“The hell it was!” she actually shouted. All that anger and rage she’d harbored towards Mira was now directed at him, and she couldn’t stand it. She closed the gap between them, staring directly into his deceiving green eyes, as she closed a bundle of his shirt within her fist, grabbing him by the collar. “You were using me!” she accused him, setting the spark between them alit like wildfire.
Was it the separation and sudden closeness, or just the way she took charge that made Lucas forget his anger? He didn’t know, but that same fascination he’d had for her back then was alive right now, and it commanded him to crush her lips with his. He took her head into his hands, pulling her closer hungrily, and yearning for the one thing he’d denied himself for six long months. His patience ran out completely.
Her initial anger dissolved in that kiss, this fiery promise that the loneliness and desolation she’d felt during his absence would be gone forever. But an echo remained; it scorched her chest, reminding her of all the other things that remained unsaid between them. By the time she pulled away, dizzy from his affections, her lips felt bruised, and Lucas could only look at her with disbelief, wounded by her withdrawal.
Damnit with his success in sidetracking her again! Skye cursed silently and rubbed her lips with her hand, catching her breath.”It doesn’t change anything, Lucas,” she finally spoke, a bitter aftertaste in her mouth. Reality was different from a dream, a love at first sight that had no grounds outside that isolated incident. Outside things were much more complicated, they were more complicated.
She avoided looking at him, at that handsome face demanding for her attention. Those miraculous green eyes had haunted her day and night for so long. She could’ve recited his sweet words from that day even in sleep. It hurt her to know he was within reach now, and she could not succumb to temptation anymore. She needed to be stronger.
Lucas didn’t approach her again. He chose to give her some space, some room for thought. But he did stand in front of her, towering in his height. He was a frightening figure in the light of the lonely lantern set on the table. There was nothing carefree about him now. Actually he reminded her more about a predator, calculating when to strike and when to back down. Lucas chose another tactic to win her trust again.
“Why does she call you Bucket?” he asked softly, thinking of the sickly woman cursed to her bed, the woman Skye had given everything for.
This obviously got her attention and lowered her guard a bit. “You’ve talked to my mother,” she realized, speaking more to her than him. She didn’t like it, but knew it had been unavoidable, once Lucas had set foot in this camp again. Skye confronted him, saw how he observed her reaction and tried to act as nonchalant as possible. “It’s from when I was a kid,” she explained, realizing quickly he wanted the details as well.
With a sigh she started her story, “I adored my father, he was the world to me. It was my dream to be just like him, a soldier. So bucket in head I’d pretend I was one. Silly, isn’t it?”
Her expression shifted mid-story, warming up, opening so beautifully. He could see all the love she’d had for her father, and it caused ghost-pain in his own chest. He’d once loved his father as well, but not anymore, not in over ten years.
“I like it, it suits you,” he responded, his expression also softening. Yet the argument was far from over. He still had his request.
“Would you have embraced me, if I’d told you…, Bucket?” he asked truthfully, revealing his own insecurity for a moment. It passed by quickly, but she saw it alright, realizing his intention had not been malice, but fear. His throne was lonely and far from his subordinates, even Mira. Lucas didn’t belong with the Sixers even though they worked for similar goals, she understood that suddenly.
Little by little her anger slipped away. “No, I would’ve…,” she swallowed the rest of her sentence, locking that thought in a safe within her heart. “I would’ve never let you so close,” Skye then told him, somewhat ashamed of her own narrow view of the world. It wasn’t all black and white, good against evil.
“Well I didn’t lie,” he claimed, his voice stronger and clearer now. “You did bewitch me.”
“With my bikini,” Skye smirked, laughter finding its way back into her system after a long absence. It caught him as well, peeling the cruel layers he used to control those around him, and revealing that man she loved underneath. “With your incredibly revealing bikini,” he confirmed playfully.
Her mind wandered quickly back to her mother though. It pained her that she had to ask him this. “You do know what Mira’s been doing can be considered blackmail?” she asked him, hoping he’d put an end to this, save her when she was unable to herself. Lucas shifted a bit, as if uncomfortable with the thought. Then he answered as truthfully as he could, “Yes I know.”
It felt like her chest would implode any minute now, but she forced herself to go on. “Will you make me continue this charade? Will you hold her life against me too?” She needed an answer, begged for it all to end now. Skye was literally at her limits, so close to the ledge she could barely move at all.
Lucas recognized her despair, her vulnerability and hugged her suddenly, caressing her back as he promised her, “I would never hurt your mother.”
Skye’s anxiety came out, and broke into tears right in his embrace, relief washing over her. Lucas held her, knowing she was crying three years’ worth of tears right now. He let her, while he contemplated on a proper to approach her with his request. He needed her to do it freely, without question, but knew she had to be tricked.
“Thank you, thank you,” she sobbed against him, her weak voice barely registering in his ears. She sounded distant, like a reminiscent of the fierce Skye, who tackled him bravely. A part of him felt distaste over this public display of weakness, and another part reminded him how he’d have done the same for his dear mother, may she rest in peace. He didn’t know what to say back, so he just rocked her in his arms, waiting for his opportunity.
“For six months, you were all I could think about whenever I took a break from my work. You consumed me day and night,” he suddenly started telling her, holding her petite body against his, feeding off her warmth.
“I knew we would meet again, Bucket. But the only thing between us is the unfinished task.” For a moment Lucas’ voice shivered, betraying him, alerting her. Then he gathered himself and pulled away to claim eye contact. Her eyes were red from tears, her cheeks wet, but there was sharpness in her gaze.
“Will you help me finish it?” Lucas asked, like it was the simplest thing in the world. Skye was flushed with doubt though; she knew this tune all too well. But it was different from before. Lucas was begging her, not telling her, not blackmailing her. Actually he was offering her rewards and asking something small in return, or so she reasoned.
Skye was suddenly reminded of reality: the calculations around them, his obsession. His request had to do something with them. She frowned, her face revealing pain over his request. She yielded though, wanting to trust him. “How could I possibly help you? I’m not a genius,” she replied awkwardly, hoped he would just forget it.
Not Lucas though, no, he had it all planned. He cupped her cheek, wiping away the residue moist from her tears. “I’m almost done, Skye. I need to check my calculations, but it would take forever by hand. You know we can’t be together until my work is done.” Light dimmed within her soul, that bad feeling taking root again.
“But the computers in Terra Nova, the Eye, can check it in a matter of hours. And everything would be over then, all of this hiding, being separated from the ones you love, even your mother’s sickness. Please, Bucket, you need to do this for us,” he walked her through it, painted such pictures in her mind, like it was their common goal. He pleaded for her to end her mother’s suffering and her own.
It was just some calculations, no big deal. After that all the obstacles would be off their path, they would have all the time in the world. No more spying, no more lying. Skye couldn’t lie and say that wasn’t everything she wanted.
He saw her walls come crushing down, slid a small device out of his pocket and into her hand, while he kissed her forehead. “Thank you, Bucket,” he said, meaning his words.
His lips lingered on her forehead, and when she turned her head to see him, he lowered them to her lips, his stubble grazing them. He kissed her thoroughly, wanting to taste her so bad. And while he knew he needed to let her go again, the thought of leaving her grew more and more painful by the minute, this choking passion gaining a strong foothold in his otherwise rational mind.
There was a conflict within him: his reason demanded that he continued his seclusion until his work was done, but that tight knot inside responded to this rationale with pain. Lucas couldn’t recall ever being in love. He’d experienced and sated lust like any other young man, but his eye had been at his goal: destroying his father.
Despite his charm and good looks, Lucas hadn’t come across anyone he’d considered worthy of his time and attention before Terra Nova, and his mind had been on other things since his arrival. Over five years of his life had been lost in these woods, chasing the impossible, feeling the jungle erode his sanity little by little.
Skye brought forth that kind side of his character he’d longed to bury, after deeming caring a weakness. No one had cared about him, why should he care about anyone else? Because she filled him with light, because she looked at him like he was the center of the world, and she didn’t even ask his name in return. She didn’t want to chain him, own him, or tell him what to do. His fears were gone when she was near, his mind at rest.
But this was not the place, not the time.
Lucas let her go, knowing they weren’t alone. Mira waited for him, not far off. There were things that needed taking care of, and Skye needed to get back.
He raked her wavy hair with his fingers, this simple gesture calming him. Skye rested her head against his chest, finally feeling like there was someone she could rely on, even if the feeling was fleeting. The device within her fist made her fingers feel numb, as she held onto it, her entire future depending on it.
TBC