Gender Dysphoria
Earlier this week a friend of mine called me up. I consider him a close friend even though we haven't talked in a long time. He recently started going to therapy and was diagnosed with gender dysphoria.
Full disclosure, I am only the "B" in LGBT and while I support people who fall in the "T" catergory, when we were talking I couldn't help but realize my total ignorance on the subject.
Backing up a few years:
When I was much younger, I was unsure if I was trans or not. I was in high school when I first learned what it was. I already knew I was bi-sexual and felt unhappy as a girl. It got to the point I was even thinking about what name I wanted to go by. It was pre-google (not really pre-google, but certainly pre what-google-is-now) so I went to the library. I remember being nervous because I was living in a small town that isn't the most progressive when it comes to these things. There were no books on the subject, but two of the staff memebers were very sweet and helpful (and much more open-minded than I was expecting). Of course it turns out I was not trans. It wasn't that I didn't feel right in my body so much as I didn't like the role women were relegated to in our society. So instead of looking into transitioning, I looked for ways to buck against female stereotypes.
Back to Present:
So now I have a friend, who didn't even realize he had gender dysphoria, trying to process this diagnoses. I have to say, for life having thrown him such a curveball, he is handling it really well. He is doing all the things he needs to do and making the decisions that are right for him.
I, on the other hand, had a million questions running through my head. "What pro-nouns should I use?" "Will this change our friendship?" "How can I show my friend I support him?". The answers, once I chilled out, were pretty obvious. Ask the person what pro-nouns they prefer. No, they are still the same person. And simply tell them you are avalible if you need support.
During our conversation, I felt ill-equipped to say much on the subject. I stopped looking into it once I knew it wasn't for me.
It is easy to talk to people about things you are knowledgable about. But I feel largely ignorant on the subject. It doesn't help that everyone seems to think something seems to think something different. But you know what, I didn't have to say a lot. Sometimes people just want to have someone listen.
It took about a day (and binging some Blaire White videos) to calm the fuck down, remember he was my friend and knew I meant well, and just say the words "I support you". Obviously I plan to do better at keeping in touch as well.
P.S. If anyone has any good sources for learning more about gender dysphoria I do want to learn more about the subject and would love to check them out..