(no subject)
Sometime last week I spent almost 2 hours at work reading old LJ entries (my boss was gone of course). It's nice to look back and be reminded of how far you've come, but the sad thing was realizing how much of my life I wasted being depressed. In my early 20s I was under the assumption that the forces of life were mostly out of my hands. Everything was going wrong for me--grades, my family situation, my geekiness, etc. I wish I knew what I know now back then--that shit happens. You have no control over several components of your life, but how you react to them is what matters most. Instead of wading in desperation and depression, I should have thrown my emoness out the window and did something more productive with my younger years. But you live and you learn. Of course without that feeling of being shattered I don't think I would know how to appreciate being whole.
I also realized that my vague entries are pretty pointless. They sound profound at times, but it doesn't help me remember what I was talking about. For that reason I'm going to try writing from a more narrative perspective...only in bullet form:
In the past three weeks I've
-had 2 surprise bdays
-1 surprise Honeyweekend (miniature honeymoon for when you can't afford a huge trip)
-traveled through 5 states while driving ~30 hours
-taken 2 flights
-made a website for my business
-realized that my fear of nature/animals has been replaced with admiration/love
-had the best Indian food of my life @ Shangri-La in DC
-watched my niece turn 1 and start looking like a female version of my brother
-watched my cousin turn 26
-saw my Patty at the airport for 45 min (she moved to London this summer so getting to see her was pretty awesome...even if it was at terminal D15)
-gained a huge sense of pride for Izzy
-spent the night in a hospital for the first time since I was born
-seen some friends who I thought were cousins get engaged (a great yet slightly weird way to hide your relationship)
-quit my job only to start the same job again as a federal employee
-had my branch go through the third reorganization in the 3.5 years I've been here
-been to my first Drs appointment on my birthday (don't worry, it wasn't mine)
-watched my dad transform into my mom and my mom transform into my dad
-went from thinking of my parents as fragile people I need to take care of to being amazed at their strength and resiliency
-had my dad truly appreciate me for the first time in my life
-had my parents truly appreciate S for the first time since we got married
-fell in love with S all over again (everyday)
-developed a new sense of confidence in myself
-found $20 behind the toilet in our apt.
Currently I'm obsessed with this song/video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8v_4O44sfjM&feature=channel
I also realized that my vague entries are pretty pointless. They sound profound at times, but it doesn't help me remember what I was talking about. For that reason I'm going to try writing from a more narrative perspective...only in bullet form:
In the past three weeks I've
-had 2 surprise bdays
-1 surprise Honeyweekend (miniature honeymoon for when you can't afford a huge trip)
-traveled through 5 states while driving ~30 hours
-taken 2 flights
-made a website for my business
-realized that my fear of nature/animals has been replaced with admiration/love
-had the best Indian food of my life @ Shangri-La in DC
-watched my niece turn 1 and start looking like a female version of my brother
-watched my cousin turn 26
-saw my Patty at the airport for 45 min (she moved to London this summer so getting to see her was pretty awesome...even if it was at terminal D15)
-gained a huge sense of pride for Izzy
-spent the night in a hospital for the first time since I was born
-seen some friends who I thought were cousins get engaged (a great yet slightly weird way to hide your relationship)
-quit my job only to start the same job again as a federal employee
-had my branch go through the third reorganization in the 3.5 years I've been here
-been to my first Drs appointment on my birthday (don't worry, it wasn't mine)
-watched my dad transform into my mom and my mom transform into my dad
-went from thinking of my parents as fragile people I need to take care of to being amazed at their strength and resiliency
-had my dad truly appreciate me for the first time in my life
-had my parents truly appreciate S for the first time since we got married
-fell in love with S all over again (everyday)
-developed a new sense of confidence in myself
-found $20 behind the toilet in our apt.
Currently I'm obsessed with this song/video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8v_4O44sfjM&feature=channel