(no subject)
I hate these stupid parties and these stupid voices and these stupid faces and their stupid lying everything.
I hate this itch to be around people - it's just like my itch to do drugs. A constant buzz at the back of my head even though the rational part of me says, "No, it's no good!" I want to do it anyway even though I know it's a bad idea. And just like drugs, I associate myself with other people every once in a while, not all the time but every now and then, and every time I do hang around people it's the exact same goddamn reaction as drugs - ITS GOOD FOR A WHILE AND THEN IT SUCKS. And then I spend all night and/or afternoon thinking "Holy shit! What did I go THERE for?"
Fuck even drugs are better than people.
I have such a better time being alone. But that fuckin' itch, man, I can't stop calling my friends every weekend or so to go to a party that I'll hate with people I can't stand only to go home and pretend like none of it ever happened. But a week later, I'm fuckin' jonesin'! I am a recovering personality disorder.
I hate this itch to be around people - it's just like my itch to do drugs. A constant buzz at the back of my head even though the rational part of me says, "No, it's no good!" I want to do it anyway even though I know it's a bad idea. And just like drugs, I associate myself with other people every once in a while, not all the time but every now and then, and every time I do hang around people it's the exact same goddamn reaction as drugs - ITS GOOD FOR A WHILE AND THEN IT SUCKS. And then I spend all night and/or afternoon thinking "Holy shit! What did I go THERE for?"
Fuck even drugs are better than people.
I have such a better time being alone. But that fuckin' itch, man, I can't stop calling my friends every weekend or so to go to a party that I'll hate with people I can't stand only to go home and pretend like none of it ever happened. But a week later, I'm fuckin' jonesin'! I am a recovering personality disorder.