(no subject)
Indiana State Police arrested a Chicago man Wednesday afternoon after he was found driving completely nude and masturbating on the Indiana Toll Road.
"Oh...hello Officer. What seems to be the problem?"
Police were called about the man driving eastbound around 1:30 p.m. Trooper Al Martinez stopped a green 1994 Toyota at the 1 mile marker about three miles east of the Angola exit in Steuben County.
Dude almost made it into Ohio. My experience with the OHP suggests that they probably would have tazered him and shipped him off to a secure facility outside Zanesville where he would have been "corrected" before being given a new identity and shipped off to Iraq as a stool. Those State Patrol &*$#ers in Ohio are hardcore.
Martinez, a four-year veteran of the Indiana State Police, said he walked up to the passenger side of the SUV and saw that the man had dropped a T-shirt across his midsection.
That was awfully polite.
Other motorists had called police about the driver, with several calls from truckers who could see into the front seat of the SUV.
That must have been outstanding C.B. radio chatter: Break 1-9...hey Schneider...check out this guy in the green Toyota coming up on your back door...he's naked and jerking off!" ** "Shut the fuck up Jay Bee, there ain't no goddamn nak...WHOA!! HAHAHAHA!! Sonofabitch is pulling his own chain!! ** "Hey! What's the 20 on the chain-puller?! ** "Just past the two-five yard stick eastbound." ** "I'm up at the two-one...I'm gonna slow down to see this..."
The driver identified as Sean P. McCormick, 37 of Chicago was completely nude with petroleum jelly on his hands. When asked why he was traveling like that, McCormick said he felt comfortable driving in the nude and was on his way to Ohio to visit his mother.
Completely nude...petroleum jelly...comfortable driving in the buff...going to visit mom. Sounds completely normal to me.
Martinez made the man put his clothes back on before handcuffing him and putting him in the back of the squad car.
I hope he had some Handi-Wipes too.
McCormick was taken to Steuben County Jail. He was charged with misdemeanor indecent exposure, punishable by up to a year in jail.
Seems a little harsh for being naked. Hell, out in the Big City I don't even think it's a crime to walk around without clothes on. Of course that may not apply to one's southern no-no parts.
From Northwest Indiana Online, the AP and the Spooner Project
We can't figure out why it's always naked guys running around out
in public. We'd much prefer if there were naked co-eds out on the turnpike instead.
"Oh...hello Officer. What seems to be the problem?"
Police were called about the man driving eastbound around 1:30 p.m. Trooper Al Martinez stopped a green 1994 Toyota at the 1 mile marker about three miles east of the Angola exit in Steuben County.
Dude almost made it into Ohio. My experience with the OHP suggests that they probably would have tazered him and shipped him off to a secure facility outside Zanesville where he would have been "corrected" before being given a new identity and shipped off to Iraq as a stool. Those State Patrol &*$#ers in Ohio are hardcore.
Martinez, a four-year veteran of the Indiana State Police, said he walked up to the passenger side of the SUV and saw that the man had dropped a T-shirt across his midsection.
That was awfully polite.
Other motorists had called police about the driver, with several calls from truckers who could see into the front seat of the SUV.
That must have been outstanding C.B. radio chatter: Break 1-9...hey Schneider...check out this guy in the green Toyota coming up on your back door...he's naked and jerking off!" ** "Shut the fuck up Jay Bee, there ain't no goddamn nak...WHOA!! HAHAHAHA!! Sonofabitch is pulling his own chain!! ** "Hey! What's the 20 on the chain-puller?! ** "Just past the two-five yard stick eastbound." ** "I'm up at the two-one...I'm gonna slow down to see this..."
The driver identified as Sean P. McCormick, 37 of Chicago was completely nude with petroleum jelly on his hands. When asked why he was traveling like that, McCormick said he felt comfortable driving in the nude and was on his way to Ohio to visit his mother.
Completely nude...petroleum jelly...comfortable driving in the buff...going to visit mom. Sounds completely normal to me.
Martinez made the man put his clothes back on before handcuffing him and putting him in the back of the squad car.
I hope he had some Handi-Wipes too.
McCormick was taken to Steuben County Jail. He was charged with misdemeanor indecent exposure, punishable by up to a year in jail.
Seems a little harsh for being naked. Hell, out in the Big City I don't even think it's a crime to walk around without clothes on. Of course that may not apply to one's southern no-no parts.
From Northwest Indiana Online, the AP and the Spooner Project
We can't figure out why it's always naked guys running around out
in public. We'd much prefer if there were naked co-eds out on the turnpike instead.