It's been a while!
The main thing that's happened of late in the life of Utternutter is that I've got engaged to a wonderful man named Steven. I thought it was about time I wrote something in here about it, as it's pretty significant and I blogged about my struggle with meeting somebody jewish who I was compatible with.
I'm really happy and still in a slight state of disbelief that I have met somebody I get on so well with, share values with and is so right for me, whilst at the same time being jewish, sharing a cultural heritage and fitting in with my family. We can never get enough time together! The plan is to get married once I have finished my course in June/July 2012 and then for me to move back up North to Manchester to move in with Steven. For now we're talking on the phone every night and each commuting across the country every other weekend, which is draining and tiring, but worth it. I enjoy spending extended periods of time up there, it's like a bit of a taste of what's to come. Doing domestic things like cooking together, entertaining, cleaning and choosing lighting for the house are all amusingly enjoyable. I'm looking forward to being in Manchester full time, no more TFL, everything will be nearer, people are friendlier, plenty of green around for walks and I still have enough family and friends in Manchester to feel at home. The timing of me starting my music degree here was a little unfortunate here. In fact, although I'm doing pretty well on it, I'm getting a little sick of being a student (and am feeling a little old for it too) so am looking forward to the structure of being in full time work again.
On the subject of work, I still don't know what I'm likely to end up doing. My first choice would still be to do instrumental teaching for children with learning disabilities. At most schools children get the opportunity for either small group or individual lessons on a musical instrument, but at the MLD school I worked at, the children didn't get any opportunity to learn an instrument. I feel that their abilities are being underestimated and that they could gain both enjoyment and valuable skills from music if given the chance, so I know there is a need for this. What I don't know is whether there's funding available for that kind of thing. I'm not very entrepreneurial! I think I'll just have to write to local authority music services explaining my skills and background and ask if they have any vacancies on relevant project or else have money to fund any. If this plan falls through, I'm not sure what I'll do. Probably some kind of youth work or mentoring with a bit of private music tuition on the side. The thing is, I have part time and full time seasonal work here with people with learning disabilities and also a few instrumental students, so I'll be giving up a lot of work contacts to move up to Manchester; in that respect, it's a little daunting.
On the whole, things are good and I'm really grateful for my lot. It is a struggle for jewish women to find decent jewish men out there and the jewish dating websites are meat-markets, mostly full of middle aged men looking for somebody half their age or sleazy young men who are up themselves and looking for one night stands. I was lucky, very lucky to find somebody like Steven, but it was a long time coming and I'm still not sure I'd recommend people putting in the effort that I did, as it was heart-wrenching and for a lot of people it proves un-fruitful. I'm not really sure what the answer is for young jewish women in the position I was in. I read an article this morning which said that for every 1 jewish man there is looking for a jewish partner, there are 5 jewish women in the same position. They can afford to act like idiots, as they have pick of the crop. Part of the reason for this is that men (apparently) marry out more. I don't know why else this could be the case, but it certainly seemed to be this way when I dragged myself to jewish event after event. I've tried to arrange events for people to go to and meet each other and in part they have been successful, but it has been a struggle, as young jewish people seem to have little get-up-and-go spirit aside from on a professional and educational level and those that are more motivated to do things tend to have given up on the jewish community. My old youth group has folded, my old jewish youth orchestra has folded and my jewish choir is struggling for male members. Where has the youth community spirit and attitude of doing gone? People seem to be so lazy these days. I hope somebody clever manages to come up with a solution to this to make the lives of young jewish women easier, as although I have found somebody for myself, I have pretty much lost hope for the plight as a whole.
I'm really happy and still in a slight state of disbelief that I have met somebody I get on so well with, share values with and is so right for me, whilst at the same time being jewish, sharing a cultural heritage and fitting in with my family. We can never get enough time together! The plan is to get married once I have finished my course in June/July 2012 and then for me to move back up North to Manchester to move in with Steven. For now we're talking on the phone every night and each commuting across the country every other weekend, which is draining and tiring, but worth it. I enjoy spending extended periods of time up there, it's like a bit of a taste of what's to come. Doing domestic things like cooking together, entertaining, cleaning and choosing lighting for the house are all amusingly enjoyable. I'm looking forward to being in Manchester full time, no more TFL, everything will be nearer, people are friendlier, plenty of green around for walks and I still have enough family and friends in Manchester to feel at home. The timing of me starting my music degree here was a little unfortunate here. In fact, although I'm doing pretty well on it, I'm getting a little sick of being a student (and am feeling a little old for it too) so am looking forward to the structure of being in full time work again.
On the subject of work, I still don't know what I'm likely to end up doing. My first choice would still be to do instrumental teaching for children with learning disabilities. At most schools children get the opportunity for either small group or individual lessons on a musical instrument, but at the MLD school I worked at, the children didn't get any opportunity to learn an instrument. I feel that their abilities are being underestimated and that they could gain both enjoyment and valuable skills from music if given the chance, so I know there is a need for this. What I don't know is whether there's funding available for that kind of thing. I'm not very entrepreneurial! I think I'll just have to write to local authority music services explaining my skills and background and ask if they have any vacancies on relevant project or else have money to fund any. If this plan falls through, I'm not sure what I'll do. Probably some kind of youth work or mentoring with a bit of private music tuition on the side. The thing is, I have part time and full time seasonal work here with people with learning disabilities and also a few instrumental students, so I'll be giving up a lot of work contacts to move up to Manchester; in that respect, it's a little daunting.
On the whole, things are good and I'm really grateful for my lot. It is a struggle for jewish women to find decent jewish men out there and the jewish dating websites are meat-markets, mostly full of middle aged men looking for somebody half their age or sleazy young men who are up themselves and looking for one night stands. I was lucky, very lucky to find somebody like Steven, but it was a long time coming and I'm still not sure I'd recommend people putting in the effort that I did, as it was heart-wrenching and for a lot of people it proves un-fruitful. I'm not really sure what the answer is for young jewish women in the position I was in. I read an article this morning which said that for every 1 jewish man there is looking for a jewish partner, there are 5 jewish women in the same position. They can afford to act like idiots, as they have pick of the crop. Part of the reason for this is that men (apparently) marry out more. I don't know why else this could be the case, but it certainly seemed to be this way when I dragged myself to jewish event after event. I've tried to arrange events for people to go to and meet each other and in part they have been successful, but it has been a struggle, as young jewish people seem to have little get-up-and-go spirit aside from on a professional and educational level and those that are more motivated to do things tend to have given up on the jewish community. My old youth group has folded, my old jewish youth orchestra has folded and my jewish choir is struggling for male members. Where has the youth community spirit and attitude of doing gone? People seem to be so lazy these days. I hope somebody clever manages to come up with a solution to this to make the lives of young jewish women easier, as although I have found somebody for myself, I have pretty much lost hope for the plight as a whole.