(no subject)
idk why i haven't been here in a while...
i guess i do, but actually saying it is kind of depressing.
i'm so afraid of what's to come
i can't get past the fact that in like 6 months i'm going to be in the real world
and i have absolutely no plan at all.
i was supposed to have at least a little something planned to talk about w/ my parents
but no that hasn't occurred.
i've done one monster.com search
results = nada
and that's about it.
i mean i've talked w/ friends about how they all have tons of job offers...
it makes me feel so useless and makes it even harder to start.
i know i'm going to end up in some job i'm going to end up hating soon after being hired
that's how most jobs i've had.
but i just get through them b/c i know they're not permanent.
this time it is permanent
this is what i'm supposed to be doing w/ the rest of my life...
well if you didn't know already
i made Tuff!
basically this what i've been trying to do for the past 2.5 years of my life.
i'm making big contributions to the team
but it feels so different than it used to.
there's one thing that i can see happening in my future
god forbid it actually does
but it'd be interesting to see what people would do.
i should def either be studying for part of my span final tm, or doing the hw that i have due tm...
but it's really become of lil concern to me.
idk why
i'm so sick of school, but there's only one more semester
assuming i pass all my classes this spring (seeing that i at least failed one of my classes this semester)
that feeling of failure has just gotten so deep in me
it's hard to get motivated anymore.
it just feels like i'm... disappointing my parents all the time
and that's prob the worst of it all.
well i guess it's that time...
to finally close out this rant.
at least i can take solace in the fact that this post isn't just about how my love life sucks
i've gotten over that
it's not much of a problem anymore...
hope all one or two of you that read this are doing well
i'll be back in h-town round the 18th so let me know what's up
i guess i do, but actually saying it is kind of depressing.
i'm so afraid of what's to come
i can't get past the fact that in like 6 months i'm going to be in the real world
and i have absolutely no plan at all.
i was supposed to have at least a little something planned to talk about w/ my parents
but no that hasn't occurred.
i've done one monster.com search
results = nada
and that's about it.
i mean i've talked w/ friends about how they all have tons of job offers...
it makes me feel so useless and makes it even harder to start.
i know i'm going to end up in some job i'm going to end up hating soon after being hired
that's how most jobs i've had.
but i just get through them b/c i know they're not permanent.
this time it is permanent
this is what i'm supposed to be doing w/ the rest of my life...
well if you didn't know already
i made Tuff!
basically this what i've been trying to do for the past 2.5 years of my life.
i'm making big contributions to the team
but it feels so different than it used to.
there's one thing that i can see happening in my future
god forbid it actually does
but it'd be interesting to see what people would do.
i should def either be studying for part of my span final tm, or doing the hw that i have due tm...
but it's really become of lil concern to me.
idk why
i'm so sick of school, but there's only one more semester
assuming i pass all my classes this spring (seeing that i at least failed one of my classes this semester)
that feeling of failure has just gotten so deep in me
it's hard to get motivated anymore.
it just feels like i'm... disappointing my parents all the time
and that's prob the worst of it all.
well i guess it's that time...
to finally close out this rant.
at least i can take solace in the fact that this post isn't just about how my love life sucks
i've gotten over that
it's not much of a problem anymore...
hope all one or two of you that read this are doing well
i'll be back in h-town round the 18th so let me know what's up