illusions of safety.
roll over and die? I'd rather be dead. People are assholes, that is a universal truth. However frequent is directly proportionate to nothing. They just are. Poor decisions are made left and right, it's what you do with them that matters most. seeing eye to eye is a mirage. you may think you understand someone only to find out they contain a duality of persons within them or even more. there are only two who i understand truly and they are myself and alana. everyone else surprises me always. and here i am surprised.
1.)losing my drummer = an ultimate good thing (he's a jekyl and hyde maniac that doesnt represent what we are as a band and isnt as good as the rest of us).
2.)bass player and key friend on a several month sabbatical from band life = surprising and not all at once (i think one can only take so much from one side of their lives when both are clawing each others eyes out for attention).
3.)my friend and guitarist still not moving out of his hell of a house = not surprising and sad all at once (i think people get comfort from familiarity even if it is painful most of the time).
so this leads me to ask the question, should i even bother paying for the rehearsal space i found? absolutely. its going to be there, waiting to be filled by the people meant to fill it. get your shit together because this ride is not fucking over yet. not to say that this dream is more important than everything else, but if you think about it in a life-long sense, it is. it fucking is. my life is this art right now and when i look back, im going to be able to say that i did every goddamn thing in my power to fully realize it. regrets are for assholes.
1.)losing my drummer = an ultimate good thing (he's a jekyl and hyde maniac that doesnt represent what we are as a band and isnt as good as the rest of us).
2.)bass player and key friend on a several month sabbatical from band life = surprising and not all at once (i think one can only take so much from one side of their lives when both are clawing each others eyes out for attention).
3.)my friend and guitarist still not moving out of his hell of a house = not surprising and sad all at once (i think people get comfort from familiarity even if it is painful most of the time).
so this leads me to ask the question, should i even bother paying for the rehearsal space i found? absolutely. its going to be there, waiting to be filled by the people meant to fill it. get your shit together because this ride is not fucking over yet. not to say that this dream is more important than everything else, but if you think about it in a life-long sense, it is. it fucking is. my life is this art right now and when i look back, im going to be able to say that i did every goddamn thing in my power to fully realize it. regrets are for assholes.