Letting go isn’t the end of the world, it’s the beginning of a new life.
Ha! It's been six months exactly since I last updated this thing.
Anyway...update...nothing much. Went to Yellowstone the first week of September with barbossamonkey and had a blast (sometimes literally...got hit by a lot of steam but it felt good since it was chilly sometimes).
*sighs and listens to Keith* How to express...it's such a mess...
Main point of this entry, I'm thinking about leaving the geoffrey_rush community. I don't fit in there anymore even though I still love Geoff's acting and I still love Barbossa to death.
However, since my failed attempt at going to New York to see Rush, I haven't been able to bring myself to go onto the community. I can't stand seeing the happiness everyone is expressing and hearing all the stories of meeting him since I couldn't go.
I've never been so crushed, so disappointed in my life when the cold, hard realization hit me that I would not be going....and I've been through Hell in my short lifespan. I hadn't felt such hopelessness since January 2004 when I almost committed suicide...
It hurts to see comments and descriptions of those who've met Geoff. I had the chance but...it came and went like so many other opportunities have in my life. Even thinking about it gets me depressed. Just the post I made the other day looking for pictures of Geoff, the comments that were triggered from it hurt.
All I wanted that month was to go and see the great Geoffrey Rush on stage and in person and meet him. But it didn't happen and reading everyone's experiences just rubs proverbial salt in the very deep, very painful wound caused by disappointment and crushed dreams.
But there was a light at the end of what I thought was a neverending tunnel of despair:
Keith Richards
The Rolling Stones.
With Keith's and the Stones' music, I lost myself and immersed myself in a new love, in new music. I forgot about the disappointment and despair that had arisen from the lost chance to meet Geoffrey Rush. Keith and the Stones are my solace, my escape from the world. I'd probably die without being able to hear their music, such is my reliance on them.
Now don't think I love Geoff or Barbossa any less because I don't but I realize that within the geoffrey_rush community, I just don't fit in with the group. I never have and I never will. Why? I don't know. I'm a much bigger Barbossa fan than I am just a Rush fan; I love Rush's other roles but Barbossa is, and always will be, my first love in regards to Rush.
Barbossa, Keith, and the Stones...I'm happy and content with that. I'm still a big Rush fan but...such a thing needs to be balanced out with something else.
I don't know if anyone else feels the same way I do and if I lose a few friends because of my decision, so be it. I already noticed I'm missing a couple friends from my f-list. Guess they...unfriended me. Oh, well.
And I can't forget to add my giantess friend, Della, to my mix of despair cure.
So that's my update...wonder if anyone will read this?
*hums* You got the silver...you got the gold...you got the diamonds from the mine...
Regards,
Sadie-Anne
"You've got the sun, you've got the moon, you've got the air you breathe--and you've got the Rolling Stones! We've always been here." - Keith Richards