I hate me.
I couldnt go to sleep. I tried, but I cant. I had to get downstairs, because I kept thinking of stabbing myself with my knife my dad bought for me recently.
Why?
Because, I hate myself and all that I am. I tried to explain it to my dad, but he wouldnt hear it.
He told me today that I'm ingrateful, becuase I never said "Happy Birthday" to him on his birthday, which was the 11th, never thanked him for the knife, the haircut he got me today or driving 63miles to Reno to get a bike rim. And he's right.
My grandma kept telling me I was ingrateful, and she was right too. I dicked around whenever she needed me to help her, and yet she was paying for my cell phone, letting me live in her home, and so on. She was right, too.
My friends saw me as ingrateful, because I'd mooch off of them, and give nothing in return.
Frankly, I'm seeing now that I'm exactly what my inner voice tells me.
I'm worthless, I'm a faliure at life, I'm butt-ugly, I know nothing but useless facts...to sum it up, I'm a person who doesnt deserve anything that he has. I take take take take take, but I hardly ever give.
I hate myself, and it's taking all my energy just to not go upstairs right now and die.
Why?
Because, I hate myself and all that I am. I tried to explain it to my dad, but he wouldnt hear it.
He told me today that I'm ingrateful, becuase I never said "Happy Birthday" to him on his birthday, which was the 11th, never thanked him for the knife, the haircut he got me today or driving 63miles to Reno to get a bike rim. And he's right.
My grandma kept telling me I was ingrateful, and she was right too. I dicked around whenever she needed me to help her, and yet she was paying for my cell phone, letting me live in her home, and so on. She was right, too.
My friends saw me as ingrateful, because I'd mooch off of them, and give nothing in return.
Frankly, I'm seeing now that I'm exactly what my inner voice tells me.
I'm worthless, I'm a faliure at life, I'm butt-ugly, I know nothing but useless facts...to sum it up, I'm a person who doesnt deserve anything that he has. I take take take take take, but I hardly ever give.
I hate myself, and it's taking all my energy just to not go upstairs right now and die.