SN-I'm Buring For You:E1:The Woman in Question-Part Four
Part One Part Two Part Three Part Four
Series Title: I'm Burning For You
Episode Title: The Woman in Question 4/6
Authors: usmc75
Pairing: Dean/Sam
Rating/Warnings: PG, If you haven't seen the pilot, why are you reading fanfic?
Summary: Lawrence Kansas, 22 years ago, assume nothing else.
Dean drove as Sam read.
“Mom was on to something.” Sam said going over his mother’s updated journal. Mary was meticulous when it came to writing in her journal. More than a diary, it was almost a guide to everything she came across during a hunt and how she solved it. The total sum knowledge of everything she had learned as a hunter was in there, so Sam would have been surprised NOT to find what she had been working on.
“The thing on the bridge?” Dean asked.
Sam nodded “No she thought that was an angry spirit, woman in white.” Sam scrolled down “No there was something else, something that caught her eye. Some kind of search program that Ash was running for her.”
“Search program?” Dean asked casting on eye over to Sam.
“Yeah it’s a computer program that goes through searching different things on the web for specific information.” Sam explained.
“Like?” Dean was confused.
“Crop failures, electrical storms, cattle mutilations…” Sam rattled off.
“Why?” Dean asked half disgusted.
Sam kept scrolling and reading “Looks like mom gave all this information to Ash and he wrote this…well he wrote this incredible program that goes through and analyzes nonparametric statistical overviews.” Sam kept reading as Dean looked over and gave him a look.
“Dude, I have no idea what you just said.”
“He wrote a program that searches for these signs, omens…I think mom had him tracking the yellow eyed demon.” Sam sounded more than impressed as the code that scrolled past his eyes; Ash was some kind of a genius.
Dean drove in silence for a while as Sam read. In a strained voice he said “Mom had all this going on behind my back…” he said.
Sam looked up “What?” he saw the look on Dean’s face “I’m sure it wasn’t like that Dean. You know mom, she’s smarter than both of us put together with this stuff. She probably has half a dozen things going on we have no idea about.”
Dean didn’t take his eyes off the road “Things YOU might not know about Sammy, not me. She tells me things…lots of things.”
Sam felt his anger rise up “Well she didn’t tell you about this so not as much as you thought.” As soon as he said it he regretted it, he saw the momentary look of hurt in Dean’s eyes before he buried down deep. Sam bit the inside of his cheek in frustration, why does he let Dean get to him like this? It’s like they were kids again and couldn’t stop from fighting.
After a few minutes Dean said in an emotionless tone “So what does the journal say?”
Sam sighed “Ash’s program found something, something close. She was trying to pin down the exact location but it is a wide spectrum search.” He saw Dean’s confusion and he explained “It’s over a wide area, real large. All the program could say was central California, it couldn’t get any smaller.”
Dean tensed up “We are in central California.”
“Yeah, I’m checking to see if she came to Jericho because of the program, or the program told her while she was already here.” Sam said sifting through past entries.
“Why?”
Sam tried to keep his voice level but he couldn’t keep all of the gloom out of his voice “Because if mom was in Jericho looking around because Ash’s program sent her here, no big deal. If the omens sprouted up after mom was already here…”
“…then the omens could because the thing knew where she was and came after her.” Dean finished.
Sam thought Dean was going to crack the steering wheel in half as he pushed the car even faster. They were already racing through the back roads on their way towards Sacramento; Sam wondered just how long the car could keep this pace. Sam kept reading and as he did the feeling of dread and worry only increased as he read.
From the Journal of Mary Winchester
October 10, 2005
Dreamt about John last night again. He didn’t look like when he died, he was older, had grown this scruff that made him look a little older than he really was. He just stood there smiling at me, his eyes were the same as I remember. All these years and I swear it was like yesterday. When I woke up my chest ached and my eyes were red from crying.
So all in all another Monday.
Talked to Sam, he’s nervous about his LSAT this week. Silly boy, he’s the smarter than any five men yet all he ever does is doubt himself because he isn’t more like Dean. I wonder if my poor boys will ever see how incredible they are on their own merits. He is still with Meg. I know I sound like a meddling mother, but I do not like that girl. I wished he had stayed with that girl he met freshman year…I think her name was Jessica. That girl was adorable and too nice for words. But Meg isn’t right for him. She is too…ugh…I do sound like a meddling mother.
Dean is almost done in Indiana, I think he met someone there. He sounded different on the phone…happy almost. I wish that boy would just own up to the fact that Cassie was a bitch and that he can trust someone. He sleeps around so much, making sure no one gets a chance to make him feel again so he can never be hurt. I wonder who this girl was that affected him so much. I’m pretty sure he was done with the job a week ago but he stayed to have some fun.
Ellen handed me some information about a town in California, missing boys on the side of the road. No clues. She thinks it’s one of ours. I’m off to go see what’s what. If I have time I might drop in on Sam and subtly convince him that he needs to dump Meg.
Ugh. I SO didn’t want to grow up to me my mother.
From the Journal of Mary Winchester
October 12, 2005
Made it to Jericho and I owe Ellen a beer.
Some kind of spirit looks like a Woman in White. Going to poke around and find out who the poor girl is and put her to rest. Dean on his way to New Orleans, whoever she was, she couldn’t hold on to him. Poor baby.
Addition: Local sheriff is too nosey for his own good, am going to have to fly this one under the radar if I am going to stop her.
From the Journal of Mary Winchester
October 17, 2005
Found my girl.
Constance Welch, poor girl lost both kids, jumped off a bridge. I can’t even imagine if that was Sam and Dean what I would…
Not going to be easy without Dean, she only appears to men and even then she is sporadic. He’s hip deep in some voodoo thing so I can’t call him off. I need to find her body and salt and burn her if possible. Husband in town, will have to interview him.
Sammy scored a 174! That is my beautiful, smart boy.
From the Journal of Mary Winchester
October 18, 2005
Husband less than helpful but I think I have the angels worked out. I just need some bait and I can track her down.
Addition: Ash’s program just went haywire. I think something is up.
From the Journal of Mary Winchester
October 19, 2005
All signs point to where I am at. He knows I am close. Sealing the room up best I can, I do not want to be caught on the road. Called Ellen, still no sign of Wilkins. If HE is coming I am not ready, I can only hope he decides to send a lackey instead. Leaving message for Dean, if I do not connect in a week it should be sent out automatically to his phone.
Dean if you are reading this forget me. Take your brother and run as fast as you can. Don’t look back. Ask Ellen about Elkins, she will know what I am talking about. I am leaving it to you to tell Sammy or not, I trust your judgment. Don’t mourn me Dean, I am with your father at last.
Sam felt the tears roll down his cheek as he read the last entry. He could see the automatic entry from yesterday when the laptop was plugged in and it tried to synch up. Whoever it was didn’t have the password so the system rejected it, but it logged their IP address anyways. Whoever had their mom they weren’t big into computers. The screen blurred as Sam wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. Dean looked over and saw his brother crying but said nothing until he had composed himself.
“You ok?” Dean asked after a few minutes “What did you read?”
Sam took a deep breath and tried to calm himself. “She knew…she knew he was coming for her. She was as ready as she could be.” he said wiping his eyes again “He has her Dean.”
Dean accelerated again, the car actually surged forward slightly as if it was a dark horse, responding to Dean’s desire for more speed. They drove into the endless night silently; Sam closed the laptop and turned it off. He closed his eyes and tried to settle his mind before he spoke again.
“Dean” Sam said in the most neutral tone he could muster.
“Yeah?” Dean asked not even looking at him.
“What aren’t you telling me?”
Dean continued to look forward, his lips a tight line as he pressed them together in frustration. Sam said nothing as his brother seemed to be picking and choosing his next words carefully. Sam didn’t know what this was all about, but he knew it wasn’t good. Finally he said in a unsteady voice “It’s…I mean…” he ran a hand through his hair as he struggled “…mom only told me once.” he finally blurted out.
“Told you what?” Sam said, not trusting himself to look at his brother right now.
Dean paused again, his face was like granite, no expression moved across it as he spoke “Dad died.” he said “He died a long time ago.”
“I know that Dean.” Sam said but Dean cut him off.
“No before that Sam. Back when they first met.” Dean’s words were clipped and emotionless. Like he was reciting something he had memorized a very long time ago. “Back before they were married. Something happened and dad got killed.” he stopped and let Sam absorb that.
“Died? I don’t understand, how could he have been killed before we were born?” Sam asked finally looking over to him.
Dean drove a while longer “Mom…mom made a deal.”
Sam almost opened his mouth to ask ‘Made a deal with who.’ when his brain finally clicked. He actually gasped and tried to cover his mouth in surprise as he felt the world tilt beneath him. A deal? His mom? With the yellow eyed demon? It wasn’t just random chance he was there that night? He heard Dean talking again but the words refused to make sense. The world drifted into a daze as his mind raced around the fact that everything he had known was a lie. That his mother and his brother had been lying to him his whole life. He didn’t know a thing about what actually happened. He didn’t know a thing.
“Sammy?” a voice said from far away.
“SAMMY!” the voice screamed louder. It was cold all of a sudden and Sam felt a chill rush past his face, making him blink a few times. As he slowly came to he realized he wasn’t in the car any more. He was standing outside of it, leaning against the back door with Dean holding him up. He was bent over and his mouth tasted like ass. Looking down he could see a puddle of vomit…his vomit…he had been throwing up.
“Sammy are you ok?” Dean asked, his voice tinged with concern. He kept alternating between patting and rubbing his back slowly. The movement felt nice as Sam closed his eyes and felt fresh tears fall. “It’s ok Sammy.” Dean said gripping his shoulder “It’s gonna be ok.”
Sam stood up and glared at him as he shouted “It’s not going to be ok Dean! Nothing is going to be OK!”
Dean actually took a step back as he looked up into his brother’s fury. Sam had never seen Dean take a step back from anyone before and part of his mind realized for the first time, he loomed over him by a good two inches. They stood there, Sam’s fists trembling with rage, Dean’s eyes wide with shock as the cool November wind cut in between them like daggers. Finally Dean looked away and said “You done?”
Sam gritted his teeth “I haven’t even started Dean.” he took a step forward “Why would you two keep this from me? Why in the hell would you not tell me that it wasn’t random occurrence that that thing showed up at our house that night? What could have you guys possibly have thought was a good enough reason not to let me know?”
Dean stood there silent, his face completely impassive, refusing to meet Sam’s eyes.
That just made Sam even madder “Oh right I forgot. I’m not a hunter! I don’t have the secret handshake or whatever that makes me cool enough to know the truth! I’m just the odd man out when it comes to you guys right?” Dean actually flinched at that “Precious Dean, mommy’s little solider.’ Sam practically spat “Do you know how long I tried to live up to being as good as you Dean? Any thought to how much it tore me up trying to be equal to the great Dean Winchester?” years of anger and frustration poured out of Sam now, the tears that fell dried almost instantly from the wind that blew past them “Every single day Dean I tried to keep up with you. To be stronger, shoot better, fight dirtier. EVERY SINGLE DAY!” he shouted into his brother’s face “And now I find out all of that doesn’t count for anything! That it doesn’t even rate me a simple explanation? Do you have any idea how much it hurts? How do you think that makes me feel Dean?”
Dean looked up at him with a stare that seemed a thousand miles away “Like your world has been a waste of time and you wonder why you even bother to go on.”
Sam stopped stunned.
“Like you aren’t a real person, like you are just a person shaped objet going through the motions. Like you look at the rest of the world and everything they have and wonder, why don’t I get any of that? When is it my turn to be happy?”
Sam saw the layers of bravado and arrogance slip away from his brother one by one as he kept talking “You were trying to keep up with me Sammy? I was doing my best to keep up with you?” now emotion began to creep into his voice “Look at you!” he said gesturing towards him “You were taller, built muscle better, smarter by a country mile. You picked up everything so damn fast it made my head hurt, you had all the making of a perfect hunter.” Sam saw a single tear fall out of Dean’s eye “And you walked away from it. You just walked away from the life, from mom…” another tear fell “…you walked away from me.” Sorrow led to anger as he went on “I had it all worked out Sammy, all of it. You and me, traveling around hunting things. You’d be the brains and I would be the muscle. I’d be the cocky, brash one that always got into trouble but you’d be the cool, collected one that made sure I never crossed the line.” Dean’s voice actually choked “I had it all worked out!” he said “I had our whole life worked out.” his voice began to drain away the emotion “And then mom came to me one day. Sat me down and explained about dad and the demon.” he paused for a long moment “And she told me…” he swallowed hard “…and she told me that the reason that thing was in the house that night…” Dean’s chest silently heaved as he forced the next words out “…the reason that thing broke in and killed dad that night was because it wanted…it wanted…”
Sam said in a shocked voice “…it wanted me.”
Dean looked up at him and saw the horrible strain the secret had torn on Dean. The weight and pressure of knowing all this and not being able to say a word to him about it. Dean nodded “Mom wouldn’t tell me why she just said, that that thing might come after you. And that we needed to make sure you were safe.” Dean wiped his eyes “She said she needed to send you away, somewhere away from hunting. So that you could live a normal life and maybe, just maybe…” he sighed “…maybe you would get a chance to be a normal guy.” Dean fell back against the car as he looked off “She said I had to convince you to go, I had to make it seem like I wanted you to go because she knew that you would have stayed if I asked.”
Sam stood there in shock, he knew Dean was right. Sam had been so scared to leave, so worried about leaving Dean and his mom. But Dean had been cold, dismissive of him. He treated Sam like crap, went on like he didn’t care one way or another if he stayed or left. Sam remembered how betrayed he had felt that they didn’t care if he left. He recalled the emptiness he felt as Mary dropped him off at the bus station. Dean wouldn’t even go with them, his mother made excuses, but in the end Sam felt like he was losing his best friend.
Probably because he was.
“Trying to keep up with me?” Sam asked in a clearly shocked tone but Dean didn’t stop looking down at his boots. Letting out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding since they left Stanford Sam let out a chuckle. He could see Dean tilt his head slightly so he could take a half look at Sam with one eye. The chuckle turned into a laugh and Sam could tell Dean was getting upset again.
“You wanna share?” he asked in a gravelly voice.
Sam shook his head and laughed again, between breaths he said “You were trying to keep up with me…” Sam put a hand on his stomach. Dean arched an eyebrow in a silent question. The whole time…you were trying to keep up with me.”
“Why is that so damn funny?” Dean finally asked turning to face Sam.
He looked up to Dean with tears of laughter in his eyes “Because the whole time you were trying to keep up with yourself.” Dean cocked his head like a dog confused and Sam laughed harder. A low growl came from Dean’s throat and Sam explained “Dean everything I have ever done…everything…has been trying to be you. My clothes, my haircut, everything. There is nothing I wanted to be more when I was growing up than my big brother…so everything I did was just me copying you.” He put a hand to the car to steady himself “No wonder you couldn’t catch up Dean…you were chasing yourself the whole time.”
Dean was blown away by the explanation, his eyes were wide as the simple truth that his little brother adored him sunk in. Their entire life it seemed they were at each other’s throat for one thing or another. Both of them trying so hard for their mother’s love, both of them wondering why the other one was her favorite. “You were trying to be like me.” Dean mumbled as Sam continued to laugh himself to tears.
After a second Dean felt a chuckle pass his lips as he saw the futility of their years long fight. This entire time they had been competing with each other, never knowing they were actually just racing against themselves. The two of them spent the next ten minutes on the side of the road, laughing a decade of bad blood between them away.
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They’re coming. the female voice thought.
I know. the male voice answered.
We can’t kill one of them. the female reminded him.
Which one? the male’s voice asked in frustration.
Sam, the tall one. she explained He is important.
She could hear him mentally shrug as he accepted the order. Tall one? Got it. She could hear him think more to himself he needed to pay attention to their height then, since all humans looked alike to him.
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They had jumped back into the Impala and took off into the fading night. There was a lightness between them now, an ease that hadn’t been there in years. Getting into the car Dean had looked at him and asked “You ready to go get my mom?”
Sam looked at him and said “My mom too.”
Dean shook his head as he slammed it into drive “Sorry Sammy, hate to say you were an alien thing dropped on our doorstep years ago and mom thought you were just too ugly to abandon.” Sam grinned at him as Dean shrugged and said “Sorry you have to lean it this way, but you’re an ET.” pause “An ugly ET.” another pause “Huge ugly girl ET.”
Sam barked out a laugh and said “Jerk.”
Dean grinned at him with one of his thousand watt smiles and said “Bitch.” and they had taken off into the night.
Sam had pulled the laptop out and started to type again furiously. Dean glanced over and asked “Now what?”
Sam narrowed his eyes as he read the scrolling script “I am trying to get a more defined location of where the laptop is.”
“How can you do that?” Dean asked, this time he sounded curious instead of resentful of Sam’s computer skills.
Sam kept typing as he explained “Well whoever it was didn’t know a lot about computers. They tried to log on, failed the password attempts three times…we’re talking a real idiot.” Sam looked up at Dean with a smirk “Kinda like you.”
Dean made a grimacing smile and nodded at him with the wordless ‘fuck you’ he had used for years. Mary was not one for excessive swearing and both Dean and Sam had made their own silent version of cuss words to glare at each other while in range of their mother’s hearing.
“I’m hoping they are as stupid as I think they are.” he said as his laptop beeped “And they were.” he said with a huge smile.
“What did they do?”
“They closed the laptop instead of turning it off.” Sam said, his grin turning evil “The laptop isn’t turned off, it’s in standby.”
“That’s good?” Dean asked.
“That’s great.” Sam answered “I can remote connect to mom’s computer at home…” he said pausing as he waited for something to happen. Dean heard a click from the computer and Sam pumped his fist in victory “And now am going to use her computer to remote link to mom’s laptop.” another pause as Dean saw the monitor go dark and flash a few times.
When it was obvious Sam wasn’t going to continue talking Dean asked “And??”
Sam looked up quickly “Hold on” he said waiting for something. Dean clashed his teeth as he waited in impatience. Finally there was a loud clicking sound and then nothing. He heard Sam whisper under his breath “Got it.”
“Got what numbnuts?” Dean exploded.
“I’m connected to her laptop right now.” Sam said with more than the usual amount of smugness “I just turned on her webcam.”
The car swerved as Dean leaned over and tried to look at the screen. Sam called out “Dean!” as Dean yanked the wheel back. Sam felt his heart pounding as he tried to catch his breath; in a harsh tone he said “The laptop’s closed retard! There’s nothing to see.” Dean glared at the road in silence; Sam could swear he saw a blush on his cheek. On a calmer voice Sam said “The laptop is closed, there’s nothing to see. But I am tracing the IP address and the mic is now active.”
Dean looked at him and whispered “They can hear us?”
Sam nodded “No my mic is turned off, all we are doing is listening.” he turned up the laptop speaker and the interior of the car was filled with an echoing sound of water drops. It sounded like a large room the way the water drops reverberated through the speaker. Both of them listened, holding their breath as more sounds became apparent. The sounds of footsteps through water could be heard, Dean’s eyes widened as he looked over to Sam who nodded back. After a second a deep male voice said “Drink”
There was a pause and they heard the ragged voice of their mom “Why? You’re just going to kill me anyways.”
Sam began typing as the male voice answered “Drink now, die later.” Gulping sounds could be heard over the keyboard as Sam began an active IP trace, narrowing the location of the laptop down to the city block. A map appeared on the screen, California filled it as it began to focus in near the center of the state. City names started to pop up as the screen zoomed in farther and farther. The city of Sacramento came into focus and then expanded as the trace got closer and closer to the source. The city became a patchwork of areas and the areas started to define into blocks and streets. The trace kept bouncing through router to router until it stopped in the western part of town, the map surrounding the signal seemed to be a series of warehouses.
“What are you going to do with me?” the voice of their mom asked as Sam pointed to the screen.
“Not my decision.” the voice said, footsteps walking away from the laptop.
“No it’s Azazel’s isn’t it?”
The sound of flesh striking flesh echoed loudly through the small speakers. Sam bite in the inside of his cheek as he fought the burning rage inside of him at the sound of his mother being struck. The male voice said “Never say that name aloud. I WILL kill you.” he said, the sincerity of his voice made it clear he was not bluffing.
They heard nothing else from their mom and the footsteps started to walk away again.
And the laptop beeped loudly.
Sam jumped as Dean looked over in shock, as soon as the beep went off the footsteps stopped.
“I thought he couldn’t hear us.” Dean whispered.
Sam said in a normal voice “That wasn’t us, that was mom’s computer.” Sam typed in a speed that silently impressed Dean. A bar appeared on the screen in front of Sam, it was red and flashing. Sam swore under his breath “Damnit” the footsteps got closer and closer in the speaker.
“What?” Dean demanded.
“Her battery is almost out.” Sam said typing faster “It’s giving out a warning.”
“Well turn it off!’ Dean screamed.
“I’m trying!!” Sam yelled back.
There was a sound of the laptop being picked up through the speakers and the man’s voice said “Why is this light on?”
There was a ripping sound and then a high pitch squeal as their mom’s laptop ceased to exist. Sam stared at the screen for several seconds in mute shock. With a look that sent a chill down Dean’s spine Sam looked at him and said “Drive faster.”
Somehow Dean was able to milk even more speed out of the Impala.
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