I Want To Kill Myself.
Well hellow all and To all a goodbye possibly. Right now I cant explain the thoughts and emotions running threw me right now. A feeling I havent felt since sophmore year in highschool re appeared and that feelin is Suicide. Im under so much stress. My mom is bein a godamn dike. She jus called and was all like your not movin out til your 25 and shit
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I think it was you that told me that suicide was the pussy way out. You said it to me with such confidence that i believed that was the best excuse to not do it.
I've already had two other really close friends attemp suicide. And i think what people overlook the most is that no matter how FUCKED up your family is, there are other people who honestly care about you.
I don't think i've been there for you nearly as much as you have for me, especially my senior year when i was basically letting myself rot away. You gave me advice that though i didn't realize it right away, your advice really was the best course of action. And sence then i've learned to respect and trust your judgement. You are an exceptional human being and i think other people deserve to be touched by your insight, which you could very easily put into song.
You bands haven't been very succesful, but from what i read and hear about, few bands ever start out good and it's something that people have to work at, just like anything else in life because the best things don't come easy.
Don't get me wrong, i'm not trynig to preach cause i'm sure this is all shit you've heard before. Life is hard man. I think it's hard for most people. That's why i'm contiplating military so much because i think it would make a lot of things easier for me. When things get hard, i think people need help. And like, if i can, i want to try to be here for you. If you need money, understand i don't have much but i can try to set some aside for you. If you need a place to stay a couple nights I'd talk to my parents and get them to let you stay here some nights.
You are my longest and best friend and when ever i tell someone about you those are the same words i use. I'm a piece of shit for not keeping my share of being the best friend.
But know this, I'm not going to give up on you even if you're ready to. I'm going to prepare to fight this with more determination than anything else man.
Don't die man.
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