0003 x What's my age again?
I've been absent from the journal scene since about mid 2007 when my ex said writing journals or talking to anyone in general on HTML based websites wasn't important. You now realize why I consider him an ex? I was cut off from a majority of anything that was considered 'social.' I know I've lost a lot of friends. I was permitted from leaving the premises, too. It really got lonely. Which began a rather lengthy addiction to World of Warcraft, which I've finally curbed.
I mean I'm still exercising the thought to play again one day, but it's probably not going to be any time soon. I miss my resto druid and all of her mounts, costumes, and (mis)-adventures. To be fair some of those adventures did lead me into finding the love of my life. I met my current boyfriend playing World of Warcraft. It wa June 16, 2009. I guess it really wasn't love at first sight, but maybe at first fight. We were in a PvP Burning Crusade Zone 'Halaa' and some lowbies were trying to get me to assist them in taking it over. Well, we got close in achieving that except this guy started attacking me. It was none other than a night elf druid with a name that I couldn't pronounce at that time (but I managed to screen shot it.) I think it was around the time that Blizzard started allowing people to create either faction on a PvP server, rather than be limited to just strictly playing one faction. The guy kills me a few times, even while I was trying to escape - I was playing a fresh level 80 blood elf retribution paladin, and he was an almost fully Ulduar geared feral night elf. It wasn't until a male gnome rogue decided to stun lock me, and then have the feral druid team up to kill me again that I decided to switch over to my almost level 80 dranaei mage and whisper the druid with:" You are meeeeaaaaan " hose three words started a conversation, which ended up turning into a lot of phone calls that lasted until maybe four o'clock in the morning or me falling asleep on the phone.
Texting, talking (phone; skype; ventrillo), emails, and instant messages were one of the things keeping our budding relationship together. I guess we became official in 2010, sometime in February though. In 2011 ... he actually came down to visit me in Florida by air plane and got to stay with me for a while. I got to know his family, and he got to know mine. Eventually he took another trip back down and we hung out for a bit, and then visa-versa. I got to stay with him and his family up in Connecticut. Then ... Then ... in 2012 on my birthday he asked " Where do you see us in the future? Our relationship "
I responded wit " Hopefully with you if you allow me to stay by your si " After I said that he decided he was going to go forward and begin the process of buying a house. June 2012 came around and I ended up living with him. I found this to be a good thing because I don't exactly enjoy riding on air planes. Listening to his voice and playing with him in video games made me feel happy. Yes, after that whole incident in Halaa I ended up switching sides and being a night elf druid so I could follow him around and be his personal pocket healer - which I do believe I did a very good job at. Especially when we were level 85 and heading into the Zul'Gurub and Zul'Aman 5-man dungeons seeking achievements.
I remember when there was one day that there was something terribly wrong with me and I had to go to the hospital that he actually sent me yellow roses and chocolates so I could wake up one morning with a smile. And, yes, it was definitely a good cheer me up considering I was hooked up to an IV for a duration of close to a week with nurses wondering out loud if I was going to die to the point of them asking m " Do you want us to the best of our capabilities try to keep you alive?"
My response " What kind of question is that? Do what you have to. I don't care if it is sacrificing a chicken and doing some kind of voodoo ritual. I have people that are counting on me to live, including a child at home who's world would probably crumble if I were to fall by some kind of sudden illness. I don't want to go out like this." As you can probably tell all is well except for a few minor injuries. I remembered when the doctor first came into the room, she patted me on the head and said " My poor little peapod, you've been suffering for such a long tim " knew I was sick for a while, but I was in denial about it and shrugging it off to take care of my son. It wasn't until I was blacking out that my boyfriend urged me to finally go to the ER. So I guess you can say he saved my life.
These recent years I've done and been through things I am not necessarily proud of. But towards the end of twenty-twelve I've discovered something really messed up that happened when I was younger. I guess you can say 2012 was the year of enlightenment, where as 2013 will be the year that I start finally picking myself up and doing better. You know - that urge to transform and push yourself harder. I have my limitations, but I finally know where to start repairing myself. I look at all of the negatives that have brought me down in the past and said - I'm better than that. Though my injuries may keep me from being in peak condition, I'm still stubborn to get close to that. I never was a perfect person, nor will I ever be a perfect person. I'll continue to live out the rest of my days with scars and maybe a few regrets, but from this day forward I want to not only improve myself but help those around me.
Twenty-twelve was definitely an interesting years filled with a bunch of ups and downs. I mean in the second month of that year I was involved in a car accident when I was sitting at a red light. After that I couldn't look at rogues the same way again. Haha! Five months of physical therapy on top of other types of therapy, and I'm still looking at more stuff including surgery to my spine, but I'm exhausting all my options before it comes to that point. I'm not trying to make myself better just for myself, but I'm trying to get better to give my son and maybe future children a brighter life.
I was looking into doing more humanitarian related projects including but not limited to helping girls in Ecuador get out of bad situations. I've helped some people in Kosovo in the past. I'm not the richest person in the world, nor am I the brightest - but I do wish to help when I can. I know my mother used to say " charity starts at home, " but I've proved to have different thinking than she does. We all have to survive on this giant rock we call the earth, and I just wish for some peace to people who have seen Hell and survived it. I should know. There was one time when I was younger than I gave up a lot of my beanie babies that I was collecting, and gave the proceeds to the American Red Cross for the Kosovo Relief Efforts which was a couple of hundred dollars. Now that I am older I know that it wasn't much, but it's something to work with. And if I had the opportunity, I'd gladly do it again. I'm hoping I can accomplish it for twenty-thirteen.
Resolutions? I have many.
Hopefully by the end of 2013 I can finally be free of carbonated drinks and be a little strict when it comes to consumption of sweets, watch some animé again, learn how to sew and embroider & not be bad at it, get better at cooking, try out yoga and Pilates, and just be overall more active and positive because no one is going to do that for me. Yerp! Be more of a craft-y person, too. Hee hee! :3
Things I hope to gain in 2013: Control, strength, wisdom.
Things I hope to lose in 2013: Weight, inferiority complex.