(no subject)
Let me see how well I can explain this. I always have these thoughts when I have alot of time to think. Basically, since I sent a letter off, it all comes back to me when I read certain things, or hear certain words and do certain things. Today, when I was sitting in the tent, a friend of mine and I were watching Friends episodes to kill some time when another buddy of mine explained how Rachel was a slut. Well, she kind of is. She has a lot of male friends in her bedroom. Anyway, beside the point.
My other buddy said.."well, they live in New York." Yeah, I guess some people can see where I'm going with this. I spend two months of my life with someone I really cared about and still do. But, the other day, I told my friend..this is all true too. I realized it. I told him.. " Man, I have no sense control when it comes to women. That's why Its best if I dont get married. I can fuck up any good relationship no matter how good a women is to me." He just laughed at me, but I was serious. I took that thought and went outside with it and thought about Karla. It was a fantasic thing I had with her. She'd of gave up all for me. And truth be told? I would have done the same. My problem is, I have a difficult time with LD relationships, and I have no self control with women. I guess I just wanted to get this off my chest, have someone else read my thoughts and tell me how fucked up this is.
I told Karla I wanted a break so I could see this chick. That's how fucked up it is. But...sadly, there isn't anything I can do about any of it. If I could turn the clock back, I would. I dont cry for girls that much, but I cried about Karla.
Anyway. I have a good heart, I just dont know how to use it right.
My other buddy said.."well, they live in New York." Yeah, I guess some people can see where I'm going with this. I spend two months of my life with someone I really cared about and still do. But, the other day, I told my friend..this is all true too. I realized it. I told him.. " Man, I have no sense control when it comes to women. That's why Its best if I dont get married. I can fuck up any good relationship no matter how good a women is to me." He just laughed at me, but I was serious. I took that thought and went outside with it and thought about Karla. It was a fantasic thing I had with her. She'd of gave up all for me. And truth be told? I would have done the same. My problem is, I have a difficult time with LD relationships, and I have no self control with women. I guess I just wanted to get this off my chest, have someone else read my thoughts and tell me how fucked up this is.
I told Karla I wanted a break so I could see this chick. That's how fucked up it is. But...sadly, there isn't anything I can do about any of it. If I could turn the clock back, I would. I dont cry for girls that much, but I cried about Karla.
Anyway. I have a good heart, I just dont know how to use it right.