Been awhile Since I hit this one up.
It's been sometime since I've updated this Live Journal. Pretty much, I don't anymore. I don't know why I have this one..well, probably because I made this one with Karla in NY. I don't know what's wrong with me lately, I guess I'm just an emotional sob story drunk. I wish things went differently with her and I. Most of all, I regret meeting some of these stupid bitches on the internet. I guess, it's mainly my fault..but I can't help it I guess. The whole thing really went down like this.
Like anyone will read this, so it doesn't matter anymore.
Well, Karla and I were kind of at each others throats, well I was more towards her because I liked her so much, but she was such a fucking flirt online to like, Danny, especially Danny and a few others. Ben, another guy I didn't like at that time because she was with him. Well, I started to hate Danny, I started to hate Ben because I couldn't get Karla's attention. I guess...I guess I never really tried that much. Eventually, I started being a fucking prick to her too. ( Karla) So...as time progressed, I just quit talking to her. Come, I think January 1st, I called her house phone and wanted to wish her a Happy New year. Yeah, I actually swallowed my pride and was attempting to be nice to her again. She wasn't home, of course, that's just how my fucking luck goes. This was the time I was actually going to get back into the military. Life sucked, I was smoking so much pot, drinking hard A every chance I could get, just living a shit, depressing life. Been in and out of detox, tried to kill myself..blah blah blah. So after the new year, early in the year, Karla just IM's me out of nowhere and tells me she needs to see me. Well, I chuckled to myself thinking.." Yeah right. I haven't any money." So I told her all of this, she explained she could buy me a plane ticket and don't worry about it. So I was like..free ticket to NY? I get to meet Karla? Not a bad deal. So I settled on the idea, told my folks and I was in New York a week later.
I guess you could say I fell in love with her. Her place was decent, her Mom was very inviting and nice..and Karla was wonderful. Despite Nimbus and his uncontrollable bladder..LOL..pissing and pooping about her apartment, I had the best time. Unfortunatly, it had to end. I had to clear my apartment, get ready to join the military and get home. The day of flying, I got so emotional, I cried in Karla's lap telling her I didn't want to go. So she called the airline, paid another $100 bucks and let me stay another week. I called home, told my Mom I'd be gone another week and that's when that drama shit with my sister took place. ( Not worth getting it to, trust me. ) So..after that week was up, I left but promised Karla I'd return to her loving arms. She's such a great kisser too. And she smells good. I went home, cried my fucking eyes out in my empty apartment and then I desperatly sold my truck to come see her again. I sold my truck and was able to spend another 15 days with her. Would have been like 25 or something but my orders for the Military got kind of fucked up and I had to leave early.
When I got to Fort Riley, we continued our relationship, but I started to not call her as often, I made friends and I sort of put her on the back burner. I didn't mean to, but Ft. Riley sucked ass so much, I couldn't stay in the barracks. I cried to her on the phone a few times, trying to tell her how much I missed her..and all that..but I don't think she understood my pain. My first room was with these two other dudes, I had to sleep on the futon with no wall locker, nowhere to put my gear, clothes, nothing. It sucked. I finally got a better room, and I had nothing. I had to buy a TV, playstation and still, no computer to really talk to her. I didn't really want to call all of the time...and..it just started to suck for us both I guess. I didn't call as much, she started to think I didn't care..and finally she told me how she isn't happy with me anymore. So she told me she thought I wanted a break up and I just let her go. That same weekend, I ended up sleeping with this stupid chick, drunk and everything, still no excuse because the whole time I knew it was wrong and I just wanted my Karla back. But I made it apparent to her I didn't want her and that sucked for her. She cried on the phone to me too.
The most fucked up part about all of this is..Rachael. Some internet relationship for four years before, through my Germany tour in the military..we never met or anything and she hated Karla. She did everything in her power to fuck us up. And she managed that. She'd IM me, talk all this shit to persuade me to leave Karla and when I'd semi-agree with her, telling her what I did and didn't like about the relationship, she'd twist it all to hell and post the IM on her fucking Live Journal for the world to see. Also, I still had a loose end in Germany that used to e-mail alot. Me, knowing I'd never ,make it back to Germany, I just humored that girl. Wrong? Yes. To Karla and that girl. I wasn't honest at all. To anyone. Karla got into my AOL account, read the e-mails and then confronted me about it. I just told her it was all bullshit, which it was. I would never make it back to Germany, but someone had to get hurt. I tried for noone to get hurt. But..Karla eventually took the fall for it all. She was hurt.
Now we don't talk at all. I tried numerous times to get her back, but..and I don't blame her. She doesn't trust me. Now the whole thing is fucked. She won't even answer my phone calls anymore. Probably because I'm an ass to her. Bitched her out on LJ, trying for her to get her off my friends list, this and that, and..yeah. That's pretty much the story. I'm all emo tonight, sorry.
Anyway.
Like anyone will read this, so it doesn't matter anymore.
Well, Karla and I were kind of at each others throats, well I was more towards her because I liked her so much, but she was such a fucking flirt online to like, Danny, especially Danny and a few others. Ben, another guy I didn't like at that time because she was with him. Well, I started to hate Danny, I started to hate Ben because I couldn't get Karla's attention. I guess...I guess I never really tried that much. Eventually, I started being a fucking prick to her too. ( Karla) So...as time progressed, I just quit talking to her. Come, I think January 1st, I called her house phone and wanted to wish her a Happy New year. Yeah, I actually swallowed my pride and was attempting to be nice to her again. She wasn't home, of course, that's just how my fucking luck goes. This was the time I was actually going to get back into the military. Life sucked, I was smoking so much pot, drinking hard A every chance I could get, just living a shit, depressing life. Been in and out of detox, tried to kill myself..blah blah blah. So after the new year, early in the year, Karla just IM's me out of nowhere and tells me she needs to see me. Well, I chuckled to myself thinking.." Yeah right. I haven't any money." So I told her all of this, she explained she could buy me a plane ticket and don't worry about it. So I was like..free ticket to NY? I get to meet Karla? Not a bad deal. So I settled on the idea, told my folks and I was in New York a week later.
I guess you could say I fell in love with her. Her place was decent, her Mom was very inviting and nice..and Karla was wonderful. Despite Nimbus and his uncontrollable bladder..LOL..pissing and pooping about her apartment, I had the best time. Unfortunatly, it had to end. I had to clear my apartment, get ready to join the military and get home. The day of flying, I got so emotional, I cried in Karla's lap telling her I didn't want to go. So she called the airline, paid another $100 bucks and let me stay another week. I called home, told my Mom I'd be gone another week and that's when that drama shit with my sister took place. ( Not worth getting it to, trust me. ) So..after that week was up, I left but promised Karla I'd return to her loving arms. She's such a great kisser too. And she smells good. I went home, cried my fucking eyes out in my empty apartment and then I desperatly sold my truck to come see her again. I sold my truck and was able to spend another 15 days with her. Would have been like 25 or something but my orders for the Military got kind of fucked up and I had to leave early.
When I got to Fort Riley, we continued our relationship, but I started to not call her as often, I made friends and I sort of put her on the back burner. I didn't mean to, but Ft. Riley sucked ass so much, I couldn't stay in the barracks. I cried to her on the phone a few times, trying to tell her how much I missed her..and all that..but I don't think she understood my pain. My first room was with these two other dudes, I had to sleep on the futon with no wall locker, nowhere to put my gear, clothes, nothing. It sucked. I finally got a better room, and I had nothing. I had to buy a TV, playstation and still, no computer to really talk to her. I didn't really want to call all of the time...and..it just started to suck for us both I guess. I didn't call as much, she started to think I didn't care..and finally she told me how she isn't happy with me anymore. So she told me she thought I wanted a break up and I just let her go. That same weekend, I ended up sleeping with this stupid chick, drunk and everything, still no excuse because the whole time I knew it was wrong and I just wanted my Karla back. But I made it apparent to her I didn't want her and that sucked for her. She cried on the phone to me too.
The most fucked up part about all of this is..Rachael. Some internet relationship for four years before, through my Germany tour in the military..we never met or anything and she hated Karla. She did everything in her power to fuck us up. And she managed that. She'd IM me, talk all this shit to persuade me to leave Karla and when I'd semi-agree with her, telling her what I did and didn't like about the relationship, she'd twist it all to hell and post the IM on her fucking Live Journal for the world to see. Also, I still had a loose end in Germany that used to e-mail alot. Me, knowing I'd never ,make it back to Germany, I just humored that girl. Wrong? Yes. To Karla and that girl. I wasn't honest at all. To anyone. Karla got into my AOL account, read the e-mails and then confronted me about it. I just told her it was all bullshit, which it was. I would never make it back to Germany, but someone had to get hurt. I tried for noone to get hurt. But..Karla eventually took the fall for it all. She was hurt.
Now we don't talk at all. I tried numerous times to get her back, but..and I don't blame her. She doesn't trust me. Now the whole thing is fucked. She won't even answer my phone calls anymore. Probably because I'm an ass to her. Bitched her out on LJ, trying for her to get her off my friends list, this and that, and..yeah. That's pretty much the story. I'm all emo tonight, sorry.
Anyway.